rotissery chicken
Digital recreation of SCP-8467.
Item #: SCP-8467
Object Class: Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: All rotisserie chickens recovered during Incident 8467-0 have been repurposed as food for Site-87 staff, as they have been determined to possess no anomalous properties.
Efforts to locate persons of interest in Incident 8467-0 are underway.
Description: SCP-8467 was a 2.6 m x 2.9 m fabric painting that depicted the outline of a hunched-over humanoid figure, with the phrase "rotissery chicken" [sic] written underneath. SCP-8467 was destroyed prior to the Foundation's awareness of its existence; its anomalous properties have been inferred from witness accounts and forensic examination.
When unfurled, SCP-8467 was capable of eliminating all disguises (such as costumes, glamours, etc.) applied to rotisserie chickens within five meters. The rotisserie chicken's humanoid form would enter a pose similar to that of the figure in the painting; this form would then disintegrate, leaving only the chicken. It is not known how SCP-8467 was able to distinguish rotisserie chickens from human beings, as the chickens affected by it had successfully impersonated humans for many years without arousing suspicion.
All information regarding SCP-8467 was recovered following Incident 8467-0, the details of which are restricted to personnel with Level 5 clearance.
Addendum: Notice from the Anomalous Influence Prevention Commission regarding personnel concerns.
Normally, the AIPC would simply allow the passing grade we gave SCP-8467's documentation to speak for itself, but in this case, we request that the following memorandum be attached to its primary database entry.
Numerous personnel with partial access to SCP-8467's file have forwarded it to us, believing that SCP-8467 transmuted normal humans into rotisserie chickens, then tricked others into believing that the victims had always secretly been rotisserie chickens, or else that a conspiracy of some sort exists to advance this misconception. Reporting documentation integrity concerns to the AIPC is good practice, and we take all such reports seriously. However, SCP-8467's documentation can be taken at face value.
The primary reason SCP-8467 aroused suspicion is that many personnel find it more plausible that their colleagues could be tricked into believing humans were rotisserie chickens than that rotisserie chickens could pretend to be humans. This is a reasonable assumption on its own, but the Foundation database is vastly more difficult to deceive than any human. Numerous automated and manual checks for correctness and sanity go into the creation of every database file, some of which are known publicly and some of which are classified. Any assessment you think to make of a live database file has likely already been done by someone who does it for a living.
The secondary reason is that the document is terse and lacking in explanations, which personnel often interpret as a failure of the author to recognize that they are writing something unusual. In this case, the explanatory material does exist, but requires a very high security clearance to access. While the AIPC cannot disclose that material, we can confirm that the unusual ideas and assumptions in SCP-8467's file are all justified.
The popular consensus is that if something looks and acts human, one can safely assume that it is human. That consensus, however, requires intervention by the Foundation to uphold — society is only able to function if people trust each other to not be rotisserie chickens, so we cover up anything that would suggest it is possible.
Up until you read SCP-8467's documentation, this was the reality under which you operated. You have access to this file because your superiors believe that you will be more effective in your work if you discard the notion that people cannot secretly be rotisserie chickens; if you need additional clarification on the matter, consult your supervisor.
The Anomalous Influence Prevention Commission has rated SCP-8467 Least Concern, and will not be reviewing this rating unless new developments occur.