I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB. I MEAN WHO DOESN'T LOVE ANSWERS.
Item #: SCP-8391
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Cardiff, Illinois, USA has been purchased in its entirety and disincorporated by Preferred Option Holdings, a Foundation shell company.
Due to its continued vitality as a town, the area has been reorganized into Outpost-8391, and removed from public maps.
Description: SCP-8391 is a spatial anomaly that occurs every Saturday between the hours of 7:00 AM and 10:00 AM1 within the borders of Outpost-8391. SCP-8391 does not manifest inside of buildings, and most commonly appears along the tree line or in the cornfields.
The mines beneath Outpost-8391, following their renovation on 07/16/2002.
SCP-8391 manifests as a spontaneously forming hole in the ground; for 6 meters down, all dirt and other matter will be displaced into an unknown location. Following this, 2 midcentury industrial lanterns will rise from the ground 1 meter away from the hole on either side, both bearing yellow plaques reading "ANIMAL HOSPITAL". The hole is capable of animating, readjusting its shape and size.
These periods of animation are synced to sounds that originate from inside the hole, proceeding in this order:
- A vocalization by a deep-voiced male will say, "Hey kids!"
- Rustling;
- The voice will say, "Guess what time it is? It's game time! Let's play a guessing game! I want to do one about animals! Can you guess what this animal is, based on the noise it makes?"
- A commonly known animal will exclaim;
- The voice will say, "Let's see if you can get that right!"
SCP-8391 will then demanifest.
SCP-8391 does not alter its behavior regardless of how personnel respond to it. Guessing or failing to guess the animal has not led to any noticeable consequences.
Discovery: With the abandonment of Cardiff following the closing of its mines in 1912, it is unknown when SCP-8391 began activity. Though a fluctuating population remained until its purchase by the Foundation in 2000, the locals reported contradictory stories about its initial manifestation. Most testimonies placed this event between 1979 and 1983. Though some stories integrate a preceding event,2 SCP-8391 encounters are typically described as sporadic.
A folk legend of particular interest to the Foundation suggested the existence of an "altar to Satan" within the mine; the hardened slack covering was demolished to open the mine. A Foundation Special Agent and field squad were sent inside to investigate.
While the expedition was uneventful for the first 5 hours, a structure resembling a tabernacle was found within a strip mine branching away from the main path. A grey cloth was hung up over the entrance. Upon its removal, it was revealed there was a hallway dug into the wall behind it, with small mounds dug into the walls on either side.
Each mound held a Betamax tape labelled with the name of an animal. The contents of each tape matched roughly with the audio that originated from SCP-8391. An example is attached below.
[BEGIN LOG]
<Fade in from black. A tall woman in a red, strapless latex corset camiknicker with a matching bowtie and bunny ears stands in front of a brick wall, painted to resemble a stylistic daytime sky. She is illuminated by a spotlight off-screen. A television is sat on a stool beside her, displaying a blue screen. Yellow text fades in, reading "ANIMAL HOSPITAL". After a moment, it begins displaying text and playing audio matching SCP-8391's vocalizations, which the woman poorly lipsyncs to.>
Audio: Hey kids!
<Cut to a wide shot of a stadium bleacher, which is filled with domestic goats. Their collective physiology has been altered to allow them to sit upright, in a manner similar to humans. The goats bleat out in unison and mime applause.>
<Cut back to the woman, who smiles and claps her hands silently.>
Audio: Guess what time it is? It's game time! Let's play a guessing game! I want to do one about animals! Can you guess what this animal is, based on the noise it makes?
<Cut to a close-up shot of the TV. The blue screen fades, changing to a short animation of a circus tent opening its flaps. Inside is the silhouette of a lion mid-jump. Audio of a lion roaring plays, before the blue screen fades in again.>
<Cut back to the woman, who has placed her hands on her hips. She smirks, and juts out one hip before leaning against the TV.>
Audio: Let's see if you can get that one right!
<Footage abruptly ceases.>
[END LOG]
The tapes were removed from the mine and brought in for analysis; meanwhile, SCP-8391 activity continued, but the nature of the anomaly changed. While its manifestation remained the same, it no longer made sound, and the hole was much shallower, only displacing 1 meter of matter. This presented a hazard for personnel. After deliberation, the tapes were returned to the area they were discovered in.
SCP-8391 resumed its normal behavior immediately.
Experiment Log: All the tapes were removed from the mine and replaced with a single copy of Peter & the Wolf/Carnival of the Animals – Part II, an album by parodist Alfred Yankovic and electronic musician Wendy Carlos, on cassette. The next Saturday, SCP-8391 manifested as usual in the cornfield at 7:00 AM.
It animated, but instead of its usual vocalizations, it played the album in its entirety, its movements synced with the melodic and vocal elements of the recording. After finishing its performance, SCP-8391 demanifested.
This behavior repeated every Saturday afterwards, until it was decided to replace the cassette with the original tapes. It promptly reverted to its original behavior. No further experiments have been conducted.
