SCP-8335

//In which a plague of bs rises over the SCP Wiki.

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esreil's four

SCP-8335
By authors:
J_V_GJ_V_G
EsreilEsreil
IndustryStandardIndustryStandard
Alzin CdagAlzin Cdag | More by this author

other authors' existing works included in this article:
scp-8102 by MonkeyskyMonkeysky
scp-426 by FlahFlah
scp-6430 by S D LockeS D Locke
scp-2565 by TaffetaTaffeta
scp-2602 by Communism will winCommunism will win
The Bee-Boy's Song, by Rudyard Kipling

  • ACCESSIBILITY MODE

    Item #: 8335|0

    Object Class: Thaumeli

    Research Head: Dr. Guy Jenrick

    Special Containment Procedures: All known SCP-8335 collectives have been relocated to Textual-biological Containers (TbCs) to allow for further maintenance of the hive collectives without risk of failure or mass proliferation. To ensure the safety of hives, TbCs are not to come in contact with untreated external textual materials, nor are TbCs to be removed from their cells for any reason.

    Hive @lpha is to be contained within the SCP-8335 file. The SCP-8335 file is to be stored on an airgapped TbC. All informational entry and exit from the SCP-8335 file is to be filtered by Aristaeus.aic, in order to preserve the integrity of Hive @lpha and limit the possibility of hostile textual-biological entities initiating a WK-Class 'Death of the Author' scenario.1 Hive @lpha is to be regularly maintained, with excess textual-flora pruned at frequent intervals and the overall health of Hive @lpha detailed weekly.

    As per the protocols of Project 'Memedovukha', upon Hive @lpha generating an instance of SCP-8335-A, that instance is to be isolated and relocated to the TbC corresponding with the scheduled descending priority memetic target.

    Description: SCP-8335 is a species of sentient textual organisms resembling a highly simplified form of Apis mellifera,2 that is capable of inhabiting all forms of written text. Instances live in hive communities centralized on specific documents. At present, all known hives are under foundation control.

    The primary actors within a SCP-8335 hive are SCP-8335-b "Worker" class characters, represented by "b". Within an active hive, instances will interact with compatible characters and the designated hive node to produce SCP-8335-C "Nourishment" class characters, represented by "h". A sufficient stockpile of SCP-8335-C will allow for the incubation of an SCP-8335-A "Regent" class character, represented by "q". For comprehensive documentation of compatible characters, see the table located at the bottom of the description.

    Upon the emergence of a new Regent class character, the hive will initiate a swarm event. During this event, the new Regent will gather a small number of Worker class characters with whom it will transpose intertextually, proliferating to a new document. Though Regent swarms have been identified crossing large physical distances instantaneously during these events, they most commonly infest documents containing either a similar locus of information to the base of the original hive, or information pertaining to the SCP-8335 species itself.

    Key Class Function
    b Worker Primary actors in hive. Collect Resource from Flowers and miscellaneous characters from across the document.
    h Nourishment Created using Resource and stored within Hive node.
    q Regent Necessary for anomalous function. Activates new Worker characters. Incubated once quantity of stored Nourishment exceeds 8335.
    # Hive Central interaction node. Contains active Regent.
    p d Resource Converted to Nourishment in Hive.
    X ¥ @ g Flower Interaction point where Workers extract Resource. May multiply if exposed to Resource from other Flowers.
    $ Smoke Eliminates anomalous activity temporarily.
    J Collection Can be manipulated to interact with Hive or free Nourishment characters to remove Nourishment from document.

    Discovery and History: SCP-8335 was discovered within the literary collection of Raymond l'Emile. Raymond l'Emile was a known associate of the defunct GoI The High Men of Orp Terra, a group of hobbyist thaumaturgical apiarists who appear to have disbanded suddenly around the time of the outbreak of the First World War. The Foundation acquired the collection during a sting operation carried out by MTF Mu-43 'Honey Trappers' on a suspected Marshall, Carter, and Dark affiliate on 1/6/1946. By the time the Foundation became aware of the presence of SCP-8335 within the collection, it had established extensive colonies in almost all of the collected works. A thorough operation to comb through the texts for actionable material was conducted, but the majority of the texts proved illegible.

    On 6/1/1994, a re-evaluation of the recovered material was performed with the aid of previously unavailable digital analysis tools by Dr. Guy Jenrick of the Department of History. While much of the collection remained too damaged to interpret, the following passages relevant to the origins of SCP-8335 were recovered from the personal journals of Raymond l'Emile.

    The Seve[…] March, Ninetee[…]

    Mister Koschevnikov, dear that he is, brought to us a new Yeoman, looking to obtain the Freedom of The City with the Company, at our meeting at The Three Candles last night. A peculiar little Teutonic gentleman by the name of Honig Bienenstock.

    By his own admission, he has some history in the arts of cryptomancy, and proposed to Koschevnikov a manner of working to ensorcell the very letters on a page to live and work, as if they were the industrious fellows we owe our passions and livelihood to.

    Most intrigued by such a queer novelty, I encouraged my Roy to invite the good man posthaste to join us at the company hall as soon as he is able.

    The Ni[…] Apr[…]

    I confess, it was not until Bienenstock scraped it from the page and glazed it upon a fine slice of toasted rye that I had even considered that these keímenopterids could produce edible honey. A drop of amber nectar busied from the very words of Trattato sulla cognizione, enticing and sweet.

    It was at once the most delectable and confounding thing I have ever tasted. The floral notes deepened by the chorus of linguistic flourishes upon the tongue. To savour a word is an intoxicating thing indeed, I fear I lack the poetic soul to do justice to such an experience.

    Mister Koschevnikov and I have hastened to induct Mister Bienenstock into the ranks of our High Men with a great expediancy. It is imperative that we acquire more, and the means to make it. I am overcome with an unbearable need to taste the sweetness of a sonnet, by ear and by tongue, with my Roy Mister Koschevnikov on a warm summer evening.

    […]eth of April, […]

    Mister Koschevnekov surprised us with quite the spread at the Three Candles, a veritable smorgasbord as Mister Mjödson put it, and fine vintages they were. What a delightful man our Mister Koschevnekov, and what a delightful evening. I shall include below the experience of each honey, to the best of my limited hand.

    A reintroduction to the floral melody of the Trattato sulla cognizione, as fragrant and enticing as I remember.

    Following such a familiar yet intoxicating flavour, I saw fit to sample the rustic and almost earthy tones born of the Canterbury Tales. It served well to cleanse my palate, but certainly did not ignite any great passion within me. An acquired taste perhaps, as Earl Chandler seemed particularly infatuated with it.

    Seeking something a little more unusual, I turned to a product of our dear Roy's mother country, by his account it is a deeply controversial opera called Victory Over the Sun. I confess I could make neither heads nor tails of the text itself, perhaps I shall entreat Mister Koschevnekov to explain it to me at a later date. But the honey, good heavens the honey. Electrifying, it is the only word for it. The flavour of thrumming energy and coursing motion. It was like tasting the very essence of the future.

    A curious sort of aroma emanated from my next choice, a woody note perhaps, but with a certain dark tinge to it. The taste was almost indescribable. A thrilling edge, but with a haunting tone that lingered on the tongue long afterwards. If it tastes this exciting, I shall certainly have to read this Dracula.

    But I saved the finest until last, I had been eyeing it since the events of the evening had been unveiled. Honeyed from a copy of Wordsworth's The Prelude, the aroma was beyond my limited pen to convey. The essence of a man, his life and labours, so expertly crafted into verse, crystallized into an incomparably divine spread of amber. It tasted, I confess, of a kin with the feeling that rises in my chest to hear my dearest Roy laugh. I think, perhaps, it is good that I lack that poet's soul, if I did then the sight of his face as he tasted the honey of my craft would be the final note my heart could handle.

    […]mber, Nin[…]

    Roy has taken receipt of a most troublesome tome. 'Twas apparently concocted by Bienenstock's cryptomantic compatriots, and contains many a comprehensively confounding and confuddling quip and quirk of querolous quandary.

    While the wily work of warped and weirdsome words weighs upon my wearisome cerebrum, Koschevnikov's close consideration of commensurate courses proposed the possibility of populating the pages with the peculiar pollinators we have grown so incandescently infatuated with.

    The subsequent concoction tickles and teases the tongue with a delightful dance of delectable dining experiences. Enamoured with the experience, I have entreated my dearest Koschevnikov to make merry again. Maychance I shall remodel the reading room, a rightful recepticle for our rapturous recreations and melifluous mellifera.

    The Twentieth […]er, N[…]een.

    I find with each sting of honeyed words, the confounding consequences of the Teutonic tome fade a little further. Alas, it seems, so too does the enrapturing ecstasy of prior stings fade, and so I have taken to larger servings with my tea.

    My dear Koschevnikov it seems has become similarly afflicted, though I fear he has found fit to engage in a more extensive relationship with our favoured friends. He makes time to converse at the Candles less and less as the weeks of autumn wear on. I ensure my schedule is free to receive him at any evening, but I worry perhaps my postings are not being delivered as replies have grown infrequent.

    […]teenth of […]ber, Ni[…]rteen.

    It has been, I believe, at least a fortnight since I last received a correspondence from my Roy, and I will confess that I am growing concerned. In the years I have known his sweet soul, this is far from the first time we have gone so long without speaking, but there is a different timbre to the silence this time. I hope that is a sign of my advancing age, a creeping of paranoia at the corners of my thinking. I pray it is.

    I seem to be struggling more than usual to find the words to put to page. Perhaps my Roy is feeling the same, and that is why I have not heard from him.

    I suppose I could speculate all night and be no closer to the truth, I shall endeavour to make a pilgrimage to his place of rest on the morrow and put these worries to bed. I hope that is not presumptive of me.

    I arrived this morning at the estate of Mister Koschevnikov. I do not have the words, and I fear it uncouth of me to describe his condition. Oh Roy, oh Roy, the sweet sight of you turned so sour in my heart. I wish I could have done more. I should have done more. I shall never clear the stain from my soul.

    Before the current developments, Dr. A. P. Oidea believed the symptoms were commensurate with a certain confusion of the bodily defenses. "Allergy" was the word I believe he used. Now he stares, dumb as the rest of us, at the chimeric corpse. It is all such a blur to me, I confess my mind simply cannot accept the things I know to be true. I cannot bear to think of it longer, the visage of my dearest's face so silent awaits me with every timorous blink.

    I have reclaimed the volumes of his personal libapiaries. Perhaps to remember him by. Perhaps to drown myself in sweet sorrows.

    Following this transcription, the body of Roy Koschevnikov was exhumed and its DNA sequenced. Foreign genetic material was found interpolated between the human nucleotides.

    The work detailing the method of creating SCP-8335 was among those affected by the infestation. However, l'Emile had left a wax-sealed note detailing the procedure for introducing 'smoke' to a colony in order to pacify 8335 instances. This discovery allowed initial researchers to prevent further proliferation of the contained colonies.

    Initial containment procedures called for affected works to be 'smoke' sealed, but regular containment checks revealed that a number of the colonies had become inert, unable to be woken up. As a result, updated containment procedures were introduced, only permitting 'smoking' as a countermeasure to breaches, with SCP-8335 affected works being sealed in standard containment lockers.

    After a series of containment breaches in the early 1970s, resulting in the total loss of several textual anomalies, authorisation was granted to the Hymenoptera Incarceration and Virtualization Endeavour. The goal of the project was to convert the extant SCP-8335 colonies into a format that could be more readily contained and observed, while reducing the risk of breaches threatening high priority textual anomalies. The resulting device, dubbed the Anomalous Paratextual Relocation Engine (or APRE), enabled the foundation to upload the colonies currently in containment to TbCs. The current containment procedures were drafted in conjunction with the Endeavour, and have reduced breach events by 16.46%.

    Addendum: Project 'Memedovukha'

    Informed by l'Emile's experience with 'honey', Dr. Jenrick proposed that, when 'harvested' from a text with memetic effects, SCP-8335 will impart some measure of resistance to those same memetic effects. He subsequently submitted a research proposal to investigate the extent and field applicability of this effect.

    On 6/1/2004, Project 'Memedovukha' was authorised to research the apparent memetic inoculation effect imparted by SCP-8335-C.

    Phase 1 - Extraction: Initial trials were performed by 'smoking' the infected page, and then scraping the 'hive' character with a laboratory spatula, a slow and tedious process that was swiftly deemed unsuitable for the long term needs of the project. While experimentation with a heavily modified radial honey extractor significantly improved per-hour outputs of usable SCP-8335-C, further refinement of the system was abandoned due to an unsustainably high rate of hive extinctions.

    Ultimately, building on the extant functions of the APREs used in containment and transport, a specialised application was developed, officially dubbed Jar_Muzen.cab. The application functions in a three part process, draining the 'hive' character, relocating the drained 8335-C instances to a blank page, and automatically printing the resulting file. Upon printing, processing of the printed material is handled by Aristaeus.aic in order to minimise the risk of memetic cross-contamination. The Jar_Muzen.cab procedure passed all efficiency benchmarks with regards to production quantity and hive retention rates, and the project was cleared to enter Phase 2.

    Phase 2 - Refinement: Based on the information retrieved from the journals of Raymond l'Emile, a risk of melinaphylaxis and subsequent Melinadelian interpolation presents at higher doses or prolonged usage of 8335-C, and so a method for increasing potency without accompanying risk of allergic reaction was deemed necessary.

    Chemical analyses of 8335-C revealed a primary composition of keímenosaccharides,3. Derived from this understanding, a process of fermentation through the introduction of a thaumaturgically enhanced brewer's yeast classified as verbumyces medo was devised. The resultant syllavylcarbinol4 proved to retain the inoculative effect of 8335-C, while dramatically decreasing cases of melinaphylaxis during animal trials. Further refinement of the process brought lethality rates below target rates, and Phase 3 was authorised.

    Phase 3 - Human Testing: Phase 3 of Project 'Memedovukha' is currently ongoing, and is focused on human trials of the completed Class-b targeted memeadic inoculant. The primary goal is to demonstrate the safety and efficacy in protecting researchers and field agents from a selected group of memetic hazards. Included within this page is an APRE window, which will allow transfer of incubated SCP-8335-A instances from the Hive @lpha page to a locally hosted copy of the articles detailing the selected hazards.

    Once each page has been swarmed, an initial batch of Class-b inoculant will be produced to perform a double-blind study in order to prove its effectiveness and viability for field deployment.

    Footnotes

       

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