Boarded the 9:30 northbound to Michigan. Nobody saw me off. I didn't really tell anybody. I forgot to leave a note. Just wanted.. I don't know. I guess I wanted someone to text or to wave to me. Maybe I thought someone would stop me.
..
When the train started to move, I checked my phone. Nothing. I sent a message to my lab chat anyway.
(9:52 am) (edriver): heading off to site-11. just thought i'd say something.
I feel like someone should have said something to that. Maybe even someone telling me off for leaving without notifying anybody. But nothing.
(10:05 am) (edriver): any developments? guys?
(10:06 am) (edriver): hey
(10:10 am) (edriver): just say something. ping me. anything
(10:22 am) (edriver): please
It's fine. I don't care. It's on me for not saying anything earlier.
..
There was a kid in the seat a couple rows up, earbuds in. I tried to strike up a conversation. He looked through me like I wasn’t there. Same with the woman across the aisle. She was knitting something. A scarf maybe. I asked her how long she'd been working on it. No response. Not even a blink. I tried again. Louder. She flinched, but not at me. It was because someone had shut the bathroom door loudly.
..
I.. fell.. asleep? Outside the window is dark.. How long could this train have possibly been going?
It looks like everyone has got off to their stop already. I checked my phone. It's been nine hours.. Still nothing. Maybe if I write to Spence…
From: Researcher Eira Driver <ten.pics.223etis|revirde#ten.pics.223etis|revirde>
To: Site-322 Director Spencer Hill <ten.pics.223etis|llihrotcerid#ten.pics.223etis|llihrotcerid>
Subject: URGENT
hey spencer i'm off over to site-11 just wanted you to know. or say anything about it
that would be cool if you could like wish me well or anything that would be nice maybe
just something like even if you just say "ok" i would like that
thanks
eira
I looked around again. Still nobody here. Obviously. I can barely see out the window. No moon in the sky.
I can hardly see my reflection. It looks.. smudged.
..
I've been doing this all my life. No one cares. I've tried to please. Tried to be a cut above the rest. Being a valedictorian all those years. My dad never thought it was enough. My mom had too many other things to care about, clearly. I couldn't connect with any of my siblings. But.. I should text them..
I pull out my phone, but my arms feel farther away than they should be. Tried to text again, but my fingers hit nothing. Maybe my phone is dead.
..
I don't know what to do. I don't think I'm going to get off this train.
..
I stood in the aisle and screamed. Nobody came. No conductor, no anything.
I screamed every name I could remember.
I screamed until my throat hurt.
I screamed for my mother.
I screamed for my father.
I screamed for my older brother.
I screamed for my younger sisters.
I screamed for Spencer.
I screamed for Shauna.
I screamed for someone.
..
The world kept rolling by outside the window. Unchanged. Uncaring.
..
No one said goodbye. No one cared. Clearly, it'd be better if I were to just disappear.
..
No…
They'll say I left. I resigned. Abandoned post. That my shell cracked again. I got too invested.
I won't stand for that.
I will not be forgotten.
Someone will find this.. someone.. has.. to find this..