Special Containment Procedures: All proposed SCP-8111-J containment procedures have resulted in the same procedures being performed on the original Foundation. As such, SCP-8111-J is considered uncontainable. It is believed that any further containment procedures will result in the Foundation becoming completely contained.
Site-327-J on top of Site-327
Description: SCP-8111-J refers to a collection of buildings that appeared on top of all Foundation sites. These buildings are almost identical to the original sites, and contain copies of all personnel and anomalies. The only visible difference between the original sites and SCP-8111-J is that the new sites display the words "Foundation 2.0, New and Improved!" printed on the side of the building. Tests have shown that despite being nearly identical, SCP-8111-J is significantly cooler than the original Foundation. The most notable scientific metric by which coolness was judged by was height, as it is a known fact that objects which are higher up are better.1
It is currently believed that with the appearance of SCP-8111-J, the original Foundation will shortly become completely obsolete due to irrelevancy. As such, all efforts are to be directed towards making SCP-8111-J less cool than the original Foundation. This process will include infiltrating SCP-8111-J, stealing its copies of the anomalies, and sabotage.
Addendum 1: Anomalies
Several plans have been made to steal the SCP-8111-J counterparts of Foundation anomalies. However, before the plans could be enacted, it was discovered that all of the Foundation's original anomalies were missing. Review of the security footage revealed that SCP-8111-J very quickly stole all the original anomalies upon its manifestation, and there never were any anomaly counterparts.
Upon the discovery of this information, plans to recover the anomalies were placed at the highest priority. The first recovery method attempted was theft. After several heists, it appeared that nearly all of the original anomalies were recovered. It was later revealed that these anomalies were replaced with wooden decoys and the original anomalies were never recovered. The agents responsible for these heists were not reprimanded as objects being replaced with poorly constructed replicas is a common occurrence.
The next recovery method attempted was negotiating for the return of the original anomalies. In exchange for the anomalies, the Foundation offered SCP-8111-J the following items:
- 3 dollars
- 2 goldfish
- A nice stick
- A pot of gnocchi with vodka sauce
- 2 pinecones
- A hand drawn image of a duck
Despite the extremely high value of the items offered, SCP-8111-J declined to return any anomalies.
The final recovery attempt was begging SCP-8111-J to return the anomalies. After several days of pleading, it agreed to return one anomaly out of pity. However, it was the Foundation's least favorite anomaly, so the offer was declined. All attempts to recover the anomalies have been deemed unsuccessful.
Addendum 2: Infiltration
Several agents were assigned to infiltrate SCP-8111-J sites to obtain information and recover the stolen anomalies. The most effective disguise technique, fake mustaches, have been given to all agents due to the need for secrecy. Agents that already had a mustache were required to shave it off so that fake mustaches could be employed.
Upon entering SCP-8111-J sites, 80% of agents immediately encountered their SCP-8111-J counterpart. Despite the agents having vastly different personalities and speaking patterns from each other, all encounters have invariably occurred exactly as follows:
Agent-J: Oh, hello there! What are you doing in here?
Agent appears startled by the appearance of Agent-J. They appear completely identical.
Agent: I…uh…I work here! See?
Agent produces a fake badge and points at their fake mustache.
Agent-J: Oh, don't worry! I'm sure that such a handsome and beautiful person wouldn't lie about working here.
Agent-J winks. Agent blushes.
Agent: You think I'm handsome and beautiful?
Agent-J: I do. Your mustache is especially dashing. Would you like to join me for coffee later?
Agent: Oh, absolutely.
Agent seductively wiggles their mustache at Agent-J.
Both exchange phone numbers and walk away. The numbers are identical.
Due to the high frequency of this event occurring and the amount of agents that are now in a committed relationship with their identical counterpart, infiltration has been deemed a failure.
Addendum 3: Sabotage
The first attempt at sabotage was cutting off supply lines to its sites. After an extensive blockade, Foundation operatives have successfully prevented SCP-8111-J from receiving any onions.2 However, it had successfully bypassed the blockade by attaching balloons to onions and floating them past Foundation personnel.
The second attempt at sabotage was hacking SCP-8111-J's servers. Initial attempts at infiltrating its systems were successful, and several documents titled "How to Run a Secret Organization" were recovered. These documents were highly valued as the Foundation has no experience in this field. However, Foundation hackers had to withdraw upon discovering SCP-8111-J's extensive collection of photos displaying personnel wearing socks with sandals. The hackers were sent to psychiatric care due to this incident. This has led to the hacking operation being deemed a failure.
The third method of sabotage was spray painting crude drawings of genitalia on the walls of SCP-8111-J sites. For reasons which are self evident, this had lead to a temporary cessation of all SCP-8111-J operations and has been considered a highly effective method of sabotage.
Addendum 4: Collected Documentation
The following document was recovered from SCP-8111-J's internal records. Despite all attempts to keep the contents of this document secret, there have been several social media posts by Foundation members praising the professional brevity shown in the document.
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: None.
Description: SCP-8111-S is the original Foundation. They are stinky.
Ninety-two percent of all Foundation personnel immediately resigned and left to take a shower upon reading this documentation. This has led to the cessation of all operations and the dismantling of the Foundation.
