by AnActualCrow
Foundation recruitment ad featuring SCP-7998-1 instance Idris Elhassan.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to a lack of knowledge regarding SCP-7998's origin, containment is currently deemed impossible. Due to SCP-7998’s widespread and continuous effect on all DNA-based life, containment of SCP-7998-1 instances has necessitated the Lifted Veil Protocol.
Description: SCP-7998 is a probabilistic phenomenon which greatly increases the likelihood of extreme anomalous mutation in organisms. Mutated organisms are referred to as SCP-7998-1. This is most common in humans, of which 0.3% are SCP-7998-1 instances. The likelihood of 7998-influenced mutation is directly correlated with similarity to the human genome. This means that organisms that are less genetically related to homo sapiens are less likely to exhibit anomalous mutations.
In the decades following SCP-7998's initial appearance, SCP-7998-1 instances have become integral to all aspects of Foundation's operations. Approximately 70% of adult human SCP-7998-1 instances are employed by the Foundation, with the remaining 30% of instances largely consisting of individuals with "low-value" mutations.
The integration of -1 instances with the Foundation has significantly improved effectiveness across all departments. Lifted Veil Protocols have resulted in more robust and cost-efficient methods of capturing and containing anomalies. The use of -1 instances with immortality, regenerative abilities, or the ability to clone themselves has made the need for D-Class personnel obsolete. Anomalous research has greatly accelerated, with over 5% of mainlist anomalies being reclassified as "Gödel".Gödel-class anomalies can be explained using anomalous science.. Additionally, the severity and frequency of containment breaches have been steadily decreasing over the last 50 years.
Notable SCP-7998-1 instances include:
Maya Whitney (no codename): Retroactively classified as a -1 instance, Dr. Whitney is a humanoid reptile who began working for the Foundation in 1982. Whitney's abnormally long lifespan allowed her to work for 79 years before retiring in 2061. Genetic testing indicates that she's the oldest known -1 instance, being born over 50 years before SCP-7998's widespread appearance. The implications of this are under research.
Fong Fú Wen (“Worldwalker”): Previously classified as a hostile anomaly, Ms. Fong was recently hired by the Foundation to assist in securing anomalies. Small, fluid-filled organs within her wrists allow her to create "portals" that can be used to instantly travel long distances.
Idris Elhassan (“Grandmaster”): Dr. Elhassan’s non-Euclidean brain structure leads him to frequently design unorthodox (yet effective) containment solutions to high-priority anomalies. It also renders him incapable of differentiating music from randomly assorted sounds and results in a condition similar to narcolepsy.
Ernest (“Dr. Henderson”): An immortal shapeshifting silverback gorilla. Hostile and highly dangerous. Containment efforts are ongoing.
Sasha Ivanovich (“Archmage”): Due to abnormal bone growth, Mr. Ivanovich’s skeleton is covered in thaumaturgic runes that allow him to fly, withstand extreme heat/cold, and communicate with the dead (without the use of conventional methods).
████████ ████ ("O5-3"): The Foundation's primary public spokesperson. Due to an antimemetic anomaly involving O5-3's social mannerisms, their anomalous properties cannot be fully understood.
Raphael De Santi (no codename): See below.
Expanded Profile – Raphael De Santi: Born on May 11, 2050, Dr. De Santi has a golden moray eel in place of of a left arm. The eel.Informally known as “Lefty.” is approximately 76cm long and terminates at De Santi’s left shoulder. Lefty The eel’s brain is connected to De Santi's, resulting in them sharing attitudes towards their environment. For this reason, personnel should not feel threatened by De Santi’s presence. The eel will not harm them.
Dr. De Santi is a level 3 Foundation researcher and the primary editor of the SCP-7998 file. Using himself as the primary subject, he has begun researching the experience of SCP-7998-1 individuals.
- Dr. De Santi cannot speak with eels or other aquatic life.
- Dr. De Santi cannot breathe underwater or hold his breath for an abnormally long time.
- The shared attitudes between De Santi and his eel arm occasionally cause him to spend time in dark and sheltered spaces (e.g., underneath tables). This results in negative social and emotional consequences for De Santi.
- Days where De Santi's behavior is significantly affected by the eel's brain are called "Eel Days." For most of his life De Santi dreads these days.
- Dr. De Santi cannot perform at the level of his anomalous colleagues, despite graduating at the top of his class at University College London.
- Dr. De Santi cannot produce large electric charges like an electric eel.
- Dr. De Santi is treated like he's the stupidest person in the room.
- Dr. De Santi can eat food using the eel. It does not know how to drink water. This is completely useless.
- Dr. De Santi does not know which is worse:
- School, where everything was expected of him.
- Work, where nothing is expected of him.
- Dr. De Santi hates his coworkers.
- Dr. De Santi does not know if eels are capable of hate.
- One day, De Santi will drive for 5 hours to the beaches of Western Italy. There, he will cut off his arm so that the eel may return to the sea.
- Moray eels cannot survive in Mediterranean waters.
EDITS AWAITING APPROVAL
Edited by Doctor Raphael Fernando De Santi
PhD in bioengineering
SCP Foundation Researcher
Clinically depressed
Not that any of it matters anymore
Addendum: Janet Eisner, an SCP-7998-1 instance who doesn't need to sleep, has been rapidly outpacing her coworkers. Working for between 14 and 18 hours a day, Eisner has been promoted several times, advancing from a new hire to head researcher over the span of 10 months. This process typically takes 3-7 years. Most recently, she's surpassed Dr. De Santi's push for promotion and become the head researcher for SCP-7998.
To: ten.pics|ivelm#ten.pics|ivelm
From: ten.pics|itnasedr#ten.pics|itnasedr
Subject: PR Job
I'll do it.
Raphael De Santi, PhD
Primary Editor (SCP-7998)
Clearance Level 3
Foundation recruitment ad featuring an SCP-7998-1 instance.
Source: Studio camera, wireless earpiece
Location: Site-91 main sound stage
Date: 07/07/2082
(Raphael De Santi and O5-3 are sitting at a news desk. Both of them have earpieces. Film crew members walk in and out of frame.)
Broadcast Director Marte Coletti: Everyone get ready, we're recording in 60 seconds.
Levi: (Over De Santi's earpiece.) You still nervous?
De Santi: Of course I am! How am I supposed to do well with someone like this?
Levi: I'm having Overseer Three interview you because they're experienced. They can walk you through it so that they're practically interviewing themselves. Don't think of this as a competition. It's more like… A dance. They know how to lead, so you just need to follow.
De Santi: I don't know how to dance.
Coletti: Recording in five, four…
Levi: You'll learn.
(The studio goes silent.)
O5-3: Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to Weird World: your best source on the latest anomalies. I'm your host, [OVERSEER THREE].No other name is, was, or will be perceived.. Today I'm here with Raphael De Santi. De Santi has an ability that isn't as flashy as some of the SCP Foundation's other staff members, but is still certainly worth noticing. Tell us about your arm, Raphael.
De Santi: Well, it's… I actually only have one arm.
O5-3: Oh?
De Santi: For my whole life, I've had an eel instead of my left arm.
(De Santi hesitates, then rolls up his left sleeve.)
O5-3: Fascinating. And does it have a mind of its own?
De Santi: It does, sort of. Lefty and I — I named it Lefty, by the way — we each have our own brains. But those brains are connected, so we think similar things. If I'm friends with you, then Lefty is also going to be friends with you.
O5-3: And he doesn't bite friends?
De Santi: No.
O5-3: Well, in that case, I really hope we become friends! But seriously, I've been spending time with Raphael — and Lefty! – and they are absolutely lovely. If any of you want to see him, he'll be traveling around and educating people on anomalous marine biology. Tell us some more about that.
De Santi: Well, I'm going to be visiting Italy and Spain with a team from later this month all the way until February. We're partnering with several aquaria and setting up booths to talk to people about the different types of anomalous fish we see here at the SCP Foundation. We want to be fun for all ages and really connect with everyday people.
(The light on O5-3's earpiece briefly glows. Their expression changes slightly to an indeterminate emotion. They return to their previous expression.)
O5-3: That sounds fascinating. I know you're very busy planning and preparing for your trip, so I'm not going to keep you here for too long. We all know that safety is a top priority here in the Foundation — but how did we keep people safe back when we hardly knew anything about anomalies? Here's Lana Sadler's wonderful documentary A Brief History of Containment.
…
Cut the film. This is an emergency.
(Coletti stops filming.)
De Santi: What— was that live?
O5-3: None of it's live, kid. Even if it was, you've got bigger things to worry about. There was an accident in Northern Spain — some crazy boar got into a crowd. Worldwalker caught the boar, but she teleported some people with it.
De Santi: Are they oka—
O5-3: Twelve injured, seven of which were teleported. No deaths. Yet.
De Santi: Christ.
O5-3: It's the last thing we need, especially now.
(O5-3 rubs his face.)
O5-3: There's really no silver lining to this. For your sake, I hope you're as good as Miriam says you are.
De Santi: Wait, you aren't sending me after this.
O5-3: You're on PR. We need all hands on deck for this. I'm sending everyone after this.
De Santi: But I don't even know what I'm doing! I hardly have any training!
(O5-3 shrugs.)
O5-3: Guess you'll learn.
INCIDENT REPORT
On 07/07/2082, an anomalous boar made entirely of black marble was discovered in Bilbao, Spain. While it initially avoided large groups of people, Foundation efforts to catch the anomaly resulted in it fleeing into Bilbao's urban districts. As it grew increasingly confused and disoriented[claim unverified], it ran farther and farther into downtown Bilbao. Five civilians were injured as a result of this.
Foundation agents struggled to move through the increasingly dense environment. Once agent Fong Fú Wen was sufficiently close to the anomaly, she created a portal connecting its position to the team's portable storage container (PSC). Due to the density of the crowd, seven civilians were also teleported to the PSC. All seven were injured. As of 08/07/2082, two are dead and one is in critical condition.CALLING MIRIAM LEVI…
Levi: Hello?
De Santi: How screwed are we?
Levi: Wa— Raphael, it's 7 in the morning!
De Santi: I'm too nervous to sleep. Lefty is shaking. I didn't even know eels could do that, and suddenly I'm supposed to be teaching biology while making everyone believe that the Foundation is some fantastic little—
Levi: Calm down! I'm still half-asleep, so I don't need you yelling in my ear.
De Santi: Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do.
(Levi sighs.)
Levi: I don't either. Read a book or go on a walk or something. I'm too tired to think of a motivational speech. Just… be yourself. I asked you to work for my department because you're more human than the rest of us. That's why you're scared of talking to people, while I’m scared of stranger things. Like floating someone’s kid too high or… dropping them.
De Santi: You worry about that?
Levi: I worry about other things too, but I've had a couple close calls like that. There are also floating knives, glass objects, that sort of stuff. Sorry, I'm talking too much.
De Santi: No, no, you're good… anyways, I'm going to let you go back to sleep.
Levi: Bye—you're going to do great.
De Santi: Thanks. Goodnight.
CALL ENDED
Foundation recruitment ad featuring SCP-7998-1 instance Fong Fú Wen.
Sources: Several
Locations: Several
Dates: 09/07/2082 - 01/17/2083
Levi: Another day…
De Santi: Another disaster.
Levi: Cheers to that.
Levi: More coffee?
De Santi: Yeah, more coffee.
De Santi: Halfway there.
De Santi: Do you know what Parawatch is?
Levi: Huh?
De Santi: It feels like every other person wants to know about Parawatch. I've never heard of it.
Levi: I think I remember reading an article about them. They were their own little organization of people capturing anomalies. Disappeared pretty soon after the Foundation went public.
De Santi: Are you sure?
(Levi shrugs, then blows a cloud of smoke.)
Source: Security camera
Location: Office of Doctor Miriam Levi
Date: 01/19/2083
(De Santi and Levi are sitting on opposite sides of her desk. They're both resting their bodies on its surface. No objects are floating.)
Levi: Fucking hell.
De Santi: Yeah.
Levi: We did it.
De Santi: Yeah. We brought things back around. Saved our part of the world.
Levi: I mean, you did most of it.
De Santi: Yeah.
Levi: You were supposed to disagree with me!
De Santi: I'm kidding! I'm kidding — I couldn't have done anything if it wasn't for you.
Levi: Thank you. But I have to admit, you were pretty impressive out there.
De Santi: Well, you were the one who trained me, so…
Levi: So nothing. I'm not stealing your credit on this.
De Santi: "On this."
Levi: You know what I mean. Everyone on the team did great things, I'm singling you out because you're so stubbornly against feeling good about yourself.
De Santi: I… Well… Okay.
Levi: I want you to feel like a hero.
De Santi: … I will. Eventually. For now, I need some raw fish and a nap underneath my desk.
(Levi smiles.)
Levi: Eel Day?
(De Santi smiles.)
De Santi: Yeah, Eel Day.
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