SCP-7985

rating: +92+x

Item #: SCP-7985

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All recovered instances of materials containing SCP-7985 are to be stored within a standard Safe-class bulk storage crate.

Description: SCP-7985 is an anomalous active pharmaceutical ingredient. In low dosages it provides effects similar to a mild stimulant, although most users also report impaired cognition and difficulty forming thoughts. SCP-7985-1 are circular white pills with the text “Mylex™” stamped into their side. SCP-7985-1 is so far the only known delivery vector for SCP-7985. Approximately 50mg of SCP-7985 is present in each dose of SCP-7985-1.

The anomalous effects of SCP-7985 are only apparent at high dosages or after prolonged, persistent exposure to low dosages of the chemical. Under these conditions, it begins to have extreme effects on cognition and individual agency significantly beyond those generated by conventional narcotics.

All further testing involving SCP-7985 has been permanently suspended following the review of materials taken in the raid leading to SCP-7985’s initial discovery and containment.

Addendum 1: Recovered Materials

All known instances of SCP-7985-1 in Foundation custody were discovered in a raid on ███████ Co., a civilian pharmaceutical concern. It is unknown how ███████ Co. first came to possess SCP-7985-11, and all involved civilians were amnesticized following SCP-7985-1’s capture and recovery. The following materials were recovered along with 86 instances of SCP-7985-1.

TRIAL INSTRUCTIONS

PRODUCT: MYLEX™ 50 MG

DATE: 4-7-1983 - INDEFINITE

SUMMARY: Subjects are to be administered Mylex™ once every 48 hours. After each administration, the status of each patient is to be assessed via the following questionnaire:

1: Please rate your level of wakefulness over the past 48 hours. 5 is an average level of awareness, while 10 is extremely drowsy and 1 is extremely alert.

2: Have you experienced any unexpected pains/cramps over the past 48 hours?

3: Have you felt any nausea or other unexpected symptoms over the past 48 hours?

4: You trip over a dead squirrel/bird/other nonspecific small animal on the sidewalk. Do you keep walking or check your shoe?

5: Would you rather lose a leg or an arm?

6: You have been found, bureaucratically, to not exist. Do you attempt to re-register yourself w/ the state, or use this opportunity to vanish?

7: Do you hold any particular antipathy towards Mylex™?

8: What is fear?

INTERVIEW FORM
Interview #: 12-5
Patient Name: Jorge Poitros
Doses: 5


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


I: You trip over a dead squirrel/bird/other nonspecific small animal on the sidewalk. Do you keep walking or check your shoe?

Patient #12: Could it be a chipmunk?

I: If you wish.

Patient #12: I don’t like chipmunks. I keep walking. If it’s under my foot I figure it darn well deserves to be there.

I: Would you rather lose a leg or an arm?

Patient #12: Leg. Arms are how we exist. Generally, when we do something considered to be part of “living”, we do it with our arms. The hands play a role, but it’s minimal.

I: You have been found, bureaucratically, to not exist. Do you attempt to re-register yourself w/ the state, or use this opportunity to vanish?

Patient #12: Vanish. Social Security can bite me.

I: Do you hold any particular antipathy towards Mylex™?

Patient #12: I did, but I forget why. It’s a wonder drug. I wonder why I did.

I: What is fear?

Patient #12: Hey, you’re not going to take me off this stuff if I answer wrong, right?


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


INTERVIEW FORM
Interview #: 17-8
Patient Name: Cynthia Barangsa
Doses: 17


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


I: Do you hold any particular antipathy towards Mylex™?

Patient #17: I couldn’t hate it. No, I couldn’t hate it. But I don’t like you. You’re what makes it real and painful. When it’s just me and my nervous system, I can pretend I don’t feel anything. It’s all just– you know, small parts of a crumbling whole. I’m 67. I can comfortably pretend random pains and sensory oddities are just transient things brought on by age. Decay claims everything. Even without any specific condition, I’m going to hurt and suffer and feel sick for reasons I can’t understand.

Patient #17: But you make it real. You tie it all back to this drug. I don’t get to escape from it and shove it all into tomorrow. I’m suffering real and actual pain because of a choice I made. I don’t like that idea.

I: What is fear?

Patient #17: What I feel when I think of my heart quietly stopping when I’m four hours into the night. The idea of an empty supermarket. I feel a tightness in my throat when I think of a barren shelf. Disorder in places we most expect control. Just-in-time shipping is my idea of God.

Patient #17: Not you. I don’t think of you. Should I be doing that?


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


INTERVIEW FORM
Interview #: 5-26
Patient Name: Marty Przowski
Doses: 57


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


I: Have you felt any nausea or other unexpected symptoms over the past 48 hours?

Patient #5: Breathe. Yes I have. Bright fluorescent light. My mind is like. Breathe. It’s frozen. No thoughts go in or out. I have an itch on my leg. If I don’t say something I forget it. I forget it if I say it, too, but if I say it at least it doesn't just vanish. There’s a spider on your hand.

Patient #5: I want to go back to being nauseous. Then I knew I felt something. I’m a little hungry.


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


INTERVIEW FORM
Interview #: 34-45
Patient Name: Samuel Banks
Doses: 98


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


Patient #34: Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Someone just sniffed. Breathe. Breathe. The light buzzes. Breathe.

I: What is fear?

Patient #34: What is fear. They said something. Breathe. Breathe. Business suit. Two eyes and a mouth. Breathe.

I: What is fear?

Patient #34: Something I’ve heard before. Breathe.


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


GROUP INTERVIEW FORM
No.: #1
Date: 12/04/83
Subjects: Patients #1-43


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


Patient #12: Breathe.

Patient #2: Bodies. Other people.

I: Would you rather lose a leg or an arm?

Patient #40: Leg.

Patient #15: Leg.

Patient #16: Leg.

Patients #23-39: [in unison] Leg.

Patient #4: Leg.

Patient #2: Breathe.

I: You have been found, bureaucratically, to not exist. Do you attempt to re-register yourself w/ the state, or use this opportunity to vanish?

Patients #2-13, #16-17, #22-39: [in unison] Vanish.

Patient #1: Home.

I: Do you hold any particular antipathy towards Mylex™?

Patients [all]: [in unison] Yes.

I: What is fear?

Patients [all]: [in unison] Something we forgot.


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


FOCUS TEST FORM
No.#: 14
Subjects: Patients #1-43
Product: █████, Lemon Flavor


[IRRELEVANT CONTENT REDACTED]


I: You have all been given a can of █████ to sample. What are your initial impressions of the product?

Patient #12: Lemon taste.

Patient #18: Sweetness.

Patient #21: Bright.

Patient #32: Bright.

Patient #4: Bright.

Patients [all]: [in unison] Bright.

I: Let’s zero in on that. What does “bright” signify to you?

Patient #1: Sterile interiors.

Patient #5: Neon colors. Cellulose triacetate jackets.

Patients #17-24, #34, #37, #39-42: [in unison] I am loved by a distant boardroom of marketing executives. They love me enough to design bright colors and geometric shapes in an arrangement that I find maximally pleasing.

Patient #12: Sunlight.

Patient #23: Sunlight.

Patients [all]: [in unison] Sunlight. Cellulose triacetate.


[END TRANSCRIPT]


Addendum 2: Mission Statement

A scanned image of the following document was discovered during a decommissioning of a Safe-class database used to store unclassified junk data collated during the digitization of pre-1986 Foundation archives. It was determined to be relevant to SCP-7985, and was attached to the file for the object for preservation. The original document is presumed lost.

MYLEX™
MISSION STATEMENT

Traditional focus groups are presented with one central problem: the difficulty of accurately sampling a truly average American. People are too idiosyncratic on the level of handfuls and dozens that most groups typically operate. Too many individual quirks: not enough people with the same birthdays, incongruent political beliefs, membership in opposing bowling leagues, etc.

Mylex™ solves this issue. Say hello to the real, truly average American: a collage of dozens of demographically typical individuals. All opinions expressed are that of a representative sample. A focus group of merely 12 Mylex™-boosted Americans has been demonstrated in multiple commercial studies to be substantially more accurate than normal focus groups in determining consumer tastes and preferences.

Try the marketing revolution. Try Mylex™.

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