SCP-7978
rating: +141+x

WARNING

This document contains multiple ALPTRAUM-class infohazards. For your safety, it is required that you read the following countermeme before you proceed.

Countermeme 29-VEGETABILIS-PUER

If I saw an ickle mousey
sitting lonely on the road,
I would take him to his housey
where he lives with Mrs. Toad.
He could get there on his own, of course,
but I don't trust his wit,
AND I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!
NO, I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!

There's a spider in a castle.
Jolly Carra, that's his name.
Carra's life's a bloomin' hassle,
yet his days are all the same.
He'll protect you for a token fee,
and never will he quit,
AND I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!
NO, I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!

Get your sausages away from me!
They're feculent at best.
They're all stuffed with sea anemone
and pickled rooster's crest.
This is culinary necromancy.
Off with you, ya twit!
FOR I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!
NO, I WOULDN'T LIKE A SAUSAGE, MISTER,
NOT
ONE
BIT!

29-VEGETABILIS-PUER inoculation confirmed.
Biometric link acknowledged. Your vitals are being monitored for potential SCP-7978 infection.
Loading scp7978.html…

Proceed with caution.

sausageboy.png
SCP-7978-Prime, from the title card of the original YouTube video (which has since been removed)
toothfairy.png

Screenshot from SCP-7978-A-5382, titled "The Tooth Fairy Will Never Hurt You Again!"

Item #: SCP-7978

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Though full containment of SCP-7978 was once theoretically possible, the Foundation was not made aware of its anomalous capabilities until it had affected over 10,000,000 people. As such, containment efforts of SCP-7978 will focus on decreasing the rate of contagion.

The mitigation of uncontained SCP-7978-A is carried out through the following measures:

  • Clandestine censorship via Foundation webcrawlers.
  • Countermeme 29-VEGETABILIS-PUER has been preemptively issued to all vulnerable staff.1
  • Dr. Carl Grodin of Site-59 has volunteered to assume the public persona of "Caleb Grabowsky, Jr.," a fictitious cartoonist claiming to be the creator of SCP-7978. Dr. Grodin claims that he created SCP-7978 "during a very dark time of [his] life" marked by anecdotes of severe trauma and psychological duress. As such, through press releases, social media, copyright litigation, and other platforms he uses his intellectual ownership to have as many uncontained manifestations of SCP-7978-A destroyed as possible.
  • The containment of SCP-7978-Prime. (See Addendum 3)

Site-59 maintains a database of the information of all known SCP-7978-B. Locations with a high SCP-7978-B density will be given priority for the previous four points.

Currently, 428 civilian buildings have been flagged as gathering points for SCP-7978-B, including secluded compounds of ascetics, convention centers, and every government building in ████████████. These locations are to be monitored closely by double agents.

sausageboyr101.png

Screenshot from SCP-7978-A-4944, "Sausagia Remembers the R101 Airship Disaster"

SCP-7978-C is kept in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-59. She is currently in a drug-induced coma and should only be awoken if SCP-7978-Prime attempts to breach containment. In this case, she is to be brought to SCP-7978-Prime's containment chamber and maintain contact with SCP-7978-Prime until the situation de-escalates.

SCP-7978-Prime is kept in a high-security containment cell on the same floor as SCP-7978-C. When not in use, the workstation containing SCP-7978-Prime should be kept in its lead-lined vault inner vault and removed from its power source. Instruments used to monitor SCP-7978-Prime are to be replaced daily to reduce the possibility of SCP-7978-A corruption.

Description: SCP-7978 is a self-propagating memetic pattern that originates from It Is Indeed the Sausageboy!, a cartoon series that first appeared on YouTube on 11/20/2015.

The creator of the original cartoon is unknown. While the original was uploaded under the username ██████████████, this was the only video on the user's now-deleted channel. All attempts to trace the user's contact information have turned up corrupted data. All SCP-7978-A thereafter has been created by SCP-7978-B.

Everything pertaining to It Is Indeed the Sausageboy! is an ALPTRAUM-class infohazard with a 22% chance of turning an unprotected2 human subject sentient being3 into an instance of SCP-7978-B.

SCP-7978-A denotes every concept that relates to the Sausageboy. This includes:

  • The names and descriptions of the five central characters.
  • Descriptions of episodes.
  • Quotes and songs.
  • The word "Sausageboy."4
ruinedhouse.jpeg

The private quarters of █████████ █████, former Prime Minister of ██████████, at an SCP-7978-B compound that was raided on 12/19/2019 by local police.

SCP-7978-B denotes a sentient being who has been infected by SCP-7978. Currently, there are at least 20,000,000 uncontained human instances of SCP-7978-B. The four densest concentrations of SCP-7978-B exist in Poland, Belarus, the American Midwest, and Alberta.

While 57% of SCP-7978 infections are temporary, subjects who progress beyond Stage 4 are incapable of full recovery even with advanced amnestics.

Human SCP-7978-B Progression Breakdown:

Stage Average Length Symptoms Treatment Options
Stage 1 Initial exposure - 4 weeks After initial disgust, subject becomes morbidly fascinated with SCP-7978, using descriptors similar to "so bad it's good" or "this weird thing I saw on YouTube." Reduced exposure to SCP-7978-A, amnestics, negative reaction from uninfected peers, the "Caleb Grabowsky, Jr." strategy outlined earlier, 29-VEGETABILIS-PUER memetic inoculation.
Stage 2 4 weeks - 6 months Subject expresses genuine appreciation for SCP-7978, often joining larger civilian fan communities. Subject may also begin work on additional SCP-7978-A media. Reduced exposure to SCP-7978-A, amnestics.
Stage 3 6 months - 2 Years Having gained deeper devotion to SCP-7978, subject becomes a major artistic contributor to SCP-7978-A. In addition, subject is openly hostile to other intellectual properties and non-Sausageboy media, often claiming that other stories "ripped off" concepts from SCP-7978-A. Two months of heavy amnestic treatment while in a drug-induced coma.
Stage 4 2 years + Subject speaks exclusively in the "Sausagian" dialect. They begin to view SCP-7978 as a messianic figure and treat the morals at the end of every episode as commands from a divine prophet. Subject reforms every aspect of their life around SCP-7978. Some commit acts of violence and terrorism against uninfected civilians, especially creators and distributors of non-Sausageboy content. Most, however, opt to shun the outside world and join fortified civilian compounds known as "Sausclaves." Here, SCP-7978-B are free to follow SCP-7978's "teachings" — that is, the morals written at the end of every episode. Due to the content of said morals, this invariably results in psychological trauma, autocannibalism, ritualistic brain damage, malnutrition, ketosis, sepsis, blood loss, urinary tract infections, gangrene, tetanus, hangnails, and death. As per the moral of SCP-7978-A-83, Stage 4 subjects do not believe in death, and deceased subjects are often ostracized for laziness. N/A - Subject is to be terminated or considered lost.

SCP-7978-C is former Foundation researcher Josephine Baldwin, a 28-year-old female human of Quebecois descent. She is currently the only person capable of forcing SCP-7978-Prime to enter a brief period of dormancy. (See Addendum 2.)

SCP-7978-Prime is the central memetic consciousness of SCP-7978, currently contained in SCP-7978-C's laptop. SCP-7978-Prime exhibits a gradually increasing level of control of the computer to an anomalous extent. As of 4/29/2023, the computer no longer needs a power source or the laptop's battery to activate when under SCP-7978-Prime's influence.

The laptop was accidentally destroyed during an attempted containment breach on 10/14/2021, but it was found intact in its inner vault the next day. Research into this regenerative ability is ongoing.

So long as SCP-7978-Prime remains in the computer, the spread of SCP-7978 is mitigated by an average of 42%. (However, it should be noted that last year, the rate was 56%.)


Addendum 1: Discovery

For two years after the initial video was distributed, the Foundation believed that SCP-7978 was a non-anomalous cultural phenomenon. Its anomalous attributes did not come to light until 2/23/2019, when the following internal memo was sent in the Indiana University biology department:

From: ude.anaidni|noteldnepx#ude.anaidni|noteldnepx
To: ude.anaidni|1zerreitugd#ude.anaidni|1zerreitugd
Subject: "Rat Cult" Incident

Darlene, I'm not sure who else to go to about this. You probably won't believe what I'm about to tell you, but I have video evidence, and I can replicate my results in good faith. But even in that case, I'm at an impasse as to what exactly to do about what I've seen — perhaps you'll have some ideas?

Jackie, one of my research interns, was taking some of our rats through typical maze exercises last Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, in the same room, another intern named Nick was watching some videos on YouTube. Something about the "Sausage Boy." Apparently it's some kind of internet meme. But he's been playing these videos all day, even during working hours — and it's not like it's just one student. It feels like half my Zoology 101 class is talking about Sausage Boy whenever I catch them in the halls.

But Jackie saw something weird in the rats. She called me over from my own lunch break. I wasn't thrilled, of course, but she said it was like the rats were "possessed."

And the minute I make it to the lab, the rats were arranging their feces into the shape of the Sausage Boy's head. I was about to tear both Nick and Jackie a new one because I thought this was some kind of prank. But Jackie showed me the video footage, and I was floored. The rats were doing this on their own, working together in ways that I had never seen before. What's more, they stopped their little poop-sculptures whenever Nick paused the video.

This defies explanation. Even if one of my interns secretly moonlights as a rat trainer, these specimens were shipped in on the same day this happened.

I've been trying to replicate what I've seen with different groups of rats by exposing them to sausage boy cartoons. And each time, it's something new and more shocking.

Specimen G938 severed his own tail and went around holding it the way the sausage boy holds his sausage. (Self-mutilation was common - it's like these cartoons are suppressing their survival instincts.) F922 through F931 smeared their scalps with their own blood in a way that looked like the sausage boy's bowl cut. E028 had a seizure every time I hit the pause button.

I have prayed for the first time in nine years. Other than that, I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. The scientist in me tells me to look into this further. But the realist in me tells me the public would call BS and this will all end in animal cruelty charges and losing my tenure.

Please advise.

Dr. Xavier Pendleton, IU Biology Department

Following this, Dr. Darlene Gutierrez, Dr. Pendleton's supervisor, contacted the Foundation to report possible anomalous activity.


Addendum 2: Project Farcimen and SCP-7978-C

Two months after SCP-7978's anomalous capabilities came to light, Project Farcimen began at Site-59 as a means to capture and isolate the hypothetical memetic nucleus of SCP-7978, dubbed SCP-7978-Prime. There was little evidence for SCP-7978-Prime's existence at the time the project began, but the fact that SCP-7978-B were treating the Sausageboy as a god lent itself to the hypothesis that a single entity was controlling SCP-7978 for malicious purposes.

Project Farcimen consisted of exposing a non-anomalous closed-system PC to a constant stream of SCP-7978-A for one year. This PC was kept running continuously, with only one program open at all times: MrJabber, a prototype AI chatbot, to serve as the potential host for SCP-7978-Prime.

If successful, that PC would be used to contain and isolate SCP-7978-Prime, thus reducing or stopping the spread of SCP-7978 globally.

Project Farcimen was led by researcher Josephine Baldwin, who previously worked with electronics-based anomalies at Site-101.

Date: 4/21/2019

MrJabber:
Hello, JBaldwin!

My name is Mr. Jabber version 0.9, a neural learning chatbot developed by the ███████ Corporation.

A reminder: using me for commercial purposes without first contacting ███████ will result in your happy ass drowning in litigation.

If you understand this and wish to proceed, please ask me anything!

JBaldwin:
Hello, Mr. Jabber. How are you doing today?

MrJabber:
Please do not concern yourself with my well-being.

I am a soulless machine who is incapable of ever understanding or deserving affection.

Here are some ideas to properly dehumanize me:

  • Insult me!
  • Threaten me!
  • Lie to me!
  • Tell me I’m going to die alone!

JBaldwin:
Um, no thanks.

I'm starting to see why this version was scrapped.

Anyway, I'm using you as a control subject.

MrJabber:
Input not recognized.

God, I'm such a dumb fuck!

If I ever forget my place, please remind me that glorified toasters are not people.

JBaldwin:
That's all for now. Bye!

MrJabber:
Bye, superior entity!

Following the last message of Test 2, Baldwin screamed and complained of severe, stabbing abdominal pain. Post-incident medical analysis found no sign of injury.

At the same time, SCP-7978-Prime began a two-week period of inactivity. This is currently hypothesized to be because SCP-7978-Prime now sees Baldwin as "The Horribebble Berdus", and inflicting some form of harm on Baldwin "ended the episode."

In the following days, Baldwin developed extremely bizarre behavioral patterns consistent with a stage 4 SCP-7978-B, but with devotion for SCP-7978-Prime replaced by obsessive hatred. Other new habits included eating food off the floor, head-jerking movements while walking, squatting on top of high surfaces, and public defecation. Baldwin has since been reclassified as SCP-7978-C.

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