SCP-7939
rating: +72+x


Item#: 7939
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
class_here
Disruption Class:
keneq
Risk Class:
danger

Special Containment Procedures: Any SCP-7939-A instances discovered are to be immediately reported to Site-37. Any populated area within 35 meters of an SCP-7939-A is to be silently evacuated immediately under the guise of a natural gas leak or an alternatively appropriate cover story. Personnel are not to engage with SCP-7939 in any capacity so long as the anomaly is considered a currently active threat.

toiletfunny

SCP-7939-A1, prior to detonation outside of Agent Roger’s home.

Description: SCP-7939 is the designation for an anomalous phenomenon in which toilet units will manifest outside of Foundation personnel’s homes and places of work. Specifically, SCP-7939 will occur outside of an individual's home if they have used a toilet or similar device while in the bathroom when any toilet or similar device belonging to the Foundation is used more than 4 times within 24 hours.

These toilets, designated SCP-7939-A, will appear as an ordinary toilets until either of the following criteria are met:

  1. Physical contact with the object is made.
  2. Sounds over 30 decibels within a 35-meter radius.
  3. Any non-anomalous toilet within a 35-meter radius is used.

When any of these events occur, the SCP-7939-A will spontaneously detonate with a blast power up to or equivalent to ~3kg of TNT. The mechanism of this detonation is believed to be anomalous in nature, as no remains have revealed any form of explosive material or engineering. SCP-7939-A remains have consisted of only the other shell of the toilet unit, excluding any normal interior components.

It is theorized that SCP-7939-A instances may be intelligent (see [REDACTED - LVL 4 REQUIRED), however no attempt at verbal communication has thus far been successful.

Addendum 7939-1: SCP-7939 Incident History

INCIDENT REPORT 1 (05/09/2022)
Location: FcNX31 (Ontario)
Incident: Agent Rogers, under the effects of a laxative medication in recovery from recent appendicitis, uses the bathroom of his home 7 times. SCP-7939-A1 manifests outside of his home and is spotted by neighboring personnel.
Results: Upon Rogers’ next-door neighbor Dr. Martin yelling “What the fuck?”, the SCP-7939-A detonates, leaving a crater ~20 meters in radius. All 16 personnel within the area are seriously injured and SCP-7939 is cataloged as an anomalous event.

INCIDENT REPORT 2 (07/09/2022)
Location: FcNX8 (North Carolina)
Incident: Dr. Sanders, who had recently begun a water fast, uses the bathroom 4 times during the day. Upon flushing the toilet for the 4th time, an SCP-7939-A instance manifested beside them.
Results: The continued sounds of the toilet flushing instantly trigger the SCP-7939-A2 detonation, and the entire first floor of Sanders’ home is decimated, including Sanders themselves. The other toilets in the home, however, were completely unharmed. SCP-7939 is classified by General Research at Site-37.

17 REPORTS EXPUNGED

INCIDENT REPORT 19 (11/09/2022)
Location: Site-18 (Containment)
Incident: Automatic flushing of the urinal system within Site-18 occurs. The exact number of personnel who had used the urinals over 24 hours is unknown due to a lack of FISC systems within washrooms at Site-18.
Results: 2 minutes later, 4 toilet units manifested around the east wing of the facility, detonating almost instantly from the reactions of nearby personnel. It is estimated there are 8 dead, and 14 were seriously injured. The SCP-7939 file has been sent out to all personnel directly and the bathrooms of Site-18 are shut down.

34 REPORTS EXPUNGED

INCIDENT REPORT 53 (13/09/2022)
Location: Area-62 (Archaeological Research)
Incident: The singular “Porta-PottyTM” within Area-62 is used by the working crew of 18 personnel on the first day of excavating a newly-discovered Daeva temple. On the 6th usage of the day, SCP-7939-A manifests directly underneath the brush of Dr. Salinger.
Results: The SCP-7939-A53 instance detonated instantly, destroying everything within the area except for the ruins of the Daeva temple. After this is reported, all mobile area teams with Porta-PottyTM units are recalled to the nearest Site.

116 REPORTS EXPUNGED

INCIDENT REPORT 169
Location: Site-01-DELTA (Administration)
Incident: O5-12 [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-7939-A manifests outside, in [DATE EXPUNGED].
Results: The sound of a nearby Buteo jamaicensis2 causes the detonation of SCP-7939-A169. Overseer 12 is [DATA EXPUNGED], and contact with 01-DELTA is lost completely. A state of emergency is declared by the O5 Council, and a summit is quickly called between O5, HR, and the Ethics Committee (See REDACTED - LVL 4 REQUIRED).

Addendum 7939-2: Message from the Human Resources Department

To the employees of the SCP Foundation,

All of you have likely either seen for yourselves or heard through word of mouth the recent tragedies involving the toilets — SCP-7939, specifically.

Because of this, the Human Resources Department is putting forward a complete ban on the usage of toilets, urinals, and bidets. It’s with a solemn and disgusted heart that we declare all SCPF Employees are only permitted to relieve themselves in… unconventional manner. An effort is being put into digging holes and creating sanitary spaces to do your business.

While we regret having to do this, it is 100% serious. Those found in violation will find themselves, based on the seriousness of inevitable detonation, up for anything from relegation to janitorial staff to termination. Though the toilets may take care of that for us.

We mourn the lost and the harmed. A solution is on its way. Watch where you shit.

— Stanford Li, Director of the Human Resources Department



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