Special Containment Procedures: The original document containing SCP-7891 is to be kept in a standard containment locker in Site-76. A copy is kept on Foundation databases and can be accessed in this document.
Personnel reading SCP-7891 for the first time must do so only under the supervision of at least two researchers experienced with SCP-7891. If they display signs of SCP-7891’s anomalous effect, they are to be given Class B amnestics and reassigned.
Foundation agents are to monitor any new archaeological discoveries relating to One Thousand and One Nights for additional copies of SCP-7891 or information related to it. All versions of One Thousand and One Nights currently available to the public are considered non-anomalous and may remain in circulation.
Description: SCP-7891 is a section of the oldest known version of One Thousand and One Nights.1 Originally written in Persia in the tenth century CE, One Thousand and One Nights was translated to Arabic shortly after its completion and quickly became one of the most iconic stories of the region, with various authors adding, changing, or removing stories over the centuries. However, no other version of the work has been found to host SCP-7891
SCP-7891 breaks with the normal format of One Thousand and One Nights, instead resembling a modern day SCP article, complete with illustrations resembling Foundation graphics, despite predating the Foundation by several centuries. However, it should be noted that SCP-7891 is a work of fiction and the anomalies it describes do not exist in reality. Additionally, many of the details it presents regarding the Foundation do not match with reality.
SCP-7891 has a mild cognitohazardous effect on approximately ninety percent of readers. Readers experiencing this effect usually display disorientation, confusion, and false memories. These effects are easily treated with amnestics. The effects of SCP-7891 are most severe in those displaying the following traits:
-Dissociation
-Repeated use of amnestics
-ADHD
-Chronic daydreaming
-A belief that the world is a computer simulation
-A tendency to relate real world events to fictional works
-Dreams of waking up
Schizophrenia appears to have an inoculating effect against SCP-7891. Therefore, any personnel with schizophrenia are encouraged to request assignment to SCP-7891’s containment team even if they lack experience in the relevant fields.
Selected testing log: Testing has primarily been performed on personnel under consideration for SCP-7891’s containment team. The process involves observing staff as they read SCP-7891 followed by asking them a series of questions relating to Foundation operations, politics, popular culture, and their own personal lives.
COGNITOHAZARD WARNING
The following section of this document contains the full text of SCP-7891 translated from Persian along with recreations of the original illustrations. As such, it is an unfiltered cognitohazard.
Do not read further without the approval of the HCML supervisor and the supervision of at least two members of the SCP-7891 containment team unless your immunity to SCP-7891 has already been determined.
Dunyazad now told Shahrazad: “I want you to tell me a story of the scholars who collected impossible things.” “I would be pleased to do so,” Shahrazad replied, “if the king gives me his leave.” “Tell your story at once,” Shahriyar said, and Shahrazad began:
I have heard, o fortunate king, that the scholars, who called themselves the Foundation, found an object which posed them many problems: It could not be moved from its location and so the Foundation built Provisional Site-7891 to guard it. They had to divert all means of travel so that none would discover it. If any traveler wandered too close, they would be given drugs to make them forget whatever they had seen, then set back on a more favorable trail.
The Foundation was forced to share custody with a rival named the Organization for the Reclamation of Islamic Artifacts. According to their agreement, the Foundation could not remove anything from SCP-7891, and they had to share all of their studies with the Organization. However, they were free to explore SCP-7891 freely and catalog what they found.
I can see, o righteous king, that you wish to know what this object was: SCP-7891 was a palace located in the Hijaz Mountains.3 It had been built several hundred years before the Foundation occupied it, and it was built of materials and in a style befitting that time.
The palace consisted of a large hall, full of all manner of furniture one would need for a comfortable stay, and two lengthy hallways leading to forty rooms, each locked.4 Upon entry, visitors would be greeted by forty young women known as SCP-7891-1. SCP-7891-1 were friendly and would beg all visitors to sit and relax and would produce food for them.
SCP-7891-1 had a key which they would freely lend to the Foundation, but which the Foundation could not remove from SCP-7891 due to their agreement with the Organization. This key unlocked the many rooms of the palace and SCP-7891-1 explained that these rooms contained many of the very types of impossible things the Foundation strove to collect. They advised the scholars of the Foundation that they might enter thirty-nine of the forty rooms with only a small risk of injury or death, but that the fortieth room must never be opened.
I have heard, o king, that the Foundation did not wish to risk the lives of their soldiers by ordering them to explore the palace: So they instead instructed a slave named D-77513 to enter each of the rooms and discover what was inside. They attached to D-77513 an eye of glass so that they might see what he saw and affixed to the halls more eyes so they might see what he did not.
<D-77513 put the key the keyhole of the first door, but did not open it.>
D-77513: When I complete this task, I ask that I might be allowed to spend more time in the company of those girls.
Command: They are not human. They might cause you harm or drive you to madness.
D-77513: For women so lovely, I would happily take the risk, for as the poet said—
Command: Please do not waste time and open the door.
D-77513: To hear is to obey.
<D-77513 opened the door and inside were two men, a horse, a small boat, and a bow, all made of brass, and three arrows made of lead.>
D-77513: Why, there is nothing here but old garbage.
<The men of brass began to move, looking at D-77513.>
D-77513: I think I should close this door now.
Command: Offer them a greeting.
D-77513: Do you wish to kill me?
<The men of brass did not answer, for they were not capable of speech. Instead they began to approach D-77513.>
Command: You may close the door now.
D-77513: Happily.
<And he closed the door. Behind the second door he discovered a great rukh.>
D-77513: Do you wish to kill me?
<The rukh did not answer because it, too, was not capable of speech. D-77513 closed the door. Behind the third door he discovered a great mountain, much larger than even the room that contained it. The key began to fly from the door toward the mountain, but D-77513 caught it. Still, the key fought in his grip, for the mountain was magnetic, and drew all iron towards it.>
Command: Close the door at once! Or we will find the key difficult to retrieve!
<With much struggle, D-77513 closed the door. Behind the fourth door he discovered a garden filled with all manner of trees, each full of ripe fruits.>
D-77513: What a beautiful place! I think I might rest here for a time and enjoy some of this fruit.
Command: Do not step inside, for the fruit might be poisonous. We will study it at a later time.
<Behind the fifth door, D-77513 discovered a hall full of wooden cages and nothing else.>
D-77513: I beg you, allow me to close this door! The sound of these birds is unbearable and I fear I might be deafened!
Command: Of what birds do you speak? Our eye sees no birds and we hear no song.
D-77513: How can you not see them? They are everywhere! In all of the cages!
<Command bid D-77513 to close the door and he did so. Behind the sixth door he discovered a black horse with great wings.>
D-77513: What a beautiful creature!
Command: You may close the door and continue.
D-77513: But I used to work with horses. Perhaps I can help you learn more about this thing.
Command: There is no need. At this time, we only wish to get an idea of what is behind each door, so that we might assign the proper scholars to study each object.
<But D-77513 did not follow Command’s instruction, and entered the room, speaking to the horse in a soothing voice. In response, the horse whipped D-77513 in the eye with its tail which, it was discovered, was covered in sharp barbs. D-77513 fled the room and locked the door.>
D-77513: I am injured! You must allow me to return so that I may see a doctor!
Command: Continue to the next room.
D-77513: But I fear I might lose my eye!
Command: Continue to the next room.
<D-77513 continued through the various rooms, discovering all manner of wonders and horrors. One might fill an entire book with the things he saw, but eventually he came to the thirty-ninth room. Inside this room he found no monster or horror. Instead, he found a tool which is strange to you or I, but familiar to him. It was like a book with a single page, whose words could change and reshape to tell many stories, and it was far too new to exist in this palace.>
D-77513: Why, that’s the sign of the Foundation!
Command: We see it, as well. Tell us, D-77513, what story does this device tell?
D-77513: I cannot answer, for I must say a word to make the device show me and I do not know which word I need.
Command: Then return the key to SCP-7891-1 and leave the palace.
D-77513: Do you not wish me to open the final door?
Command: No. You have completed your task.
<For the Foundation had not yet decided whether to heed the warning of SCP-7891-1.>
I have heard, too, o king, that the Foundation did discover what story the device held: For it only contained one story, told in the manner of their own records. This is what it said:
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its position in the Foundation, SCP-7891 is considered self-containing.
Description: SCP-7891 is O5-5. It has the appearance of a woman in her early 20s.5
SCP-7891’s primary anomalous trait is an ability to render physical objects into fictional constructs and vice versa. Additionally, it is immortal.
Originally born in the Islamic Empire during the tenth century CE, SCP-7891 has primarily utilized its trait to contain anomalous objects prior to the formation of the Foundation. It was one of the original founders of the Foundation, and has been on the O5 council since its inception.
Addendum 7891-1: On 4/2/2023, SCP-7891 requested an interview to be conducted as part of its SCP file.
Interviewed: SCP-7891
Interviewer: Dr. Antoine Burton
<Begin interview>
Dr. Burton: So, uh, I’m not exactly sure how you want to begin, ma’am.
SCP-7891: SCP-7891.
Dr. Burton: Pardon?
SCP-7891: Foundation protocol is to address all anomalies by their SCP number.
Dr. Burton: But that’s—you’re not like…
SCP-7891: I may be a member of the O5 council, but when it comes to this file, I’m to be treated as any other anomaly. That means I am SCP-7891. It/its.
Dr. Burton: If that’s what you want, Ma—I mean, SCP-7891. Sorry. I’m a little nervous.
SCP-7891: There’s no need to worry. You’re not going to get into any trouble. After all, you’re the one doing me a favor here.
Dr. Burton: I know. I mean, I have to admit that when I was first given access to your file I thought I was about to learn some terrible secret I was better off not knowing. But looking at it now, it’s so…
SCP-7891: Ordinary?
Dr. Burton: Short. It doesn’t even really explain how your anomalous trait works.
SCP-7891: I’m happy to explain. Are you familiar with pataphysics?
Dr. Burton: A little. I mean, I have a passing knowledge. Should someone from the Department of Pataphysics conduct this interview?
SCP-7891: You’re fine. Just give me an idea of how knowledgeable you are.
<Dr. Burton pauses for a moment.>
Dr. Burton: It’s sort of like universes stacked up on top of each other. When someone in a universe higher on the stack imagines something, it becomes real in the universe below it.
SCP-7891: A rudimentary description, and not the most accurate, but it will serve our purpose. Is it possible for a universe lower on the stack to change something in a universe higher up?
Dr. Burton: Well, no. That’s sort of the whole point. For universes higher in the stack every universe below it is just imaginary. It doesn’t exist, even if you can travel to parallel universes.
SCP-7891: But a story can change you, can it not?
Dr. Burton: Technically, yes. Hell, the whole reason I started studying science was because I thought Spock was cool. But that’s not the same as physically manifesting an anomaly.
SCP-7891: That is, more or less, where the current science stands. But what if Shahrazad imagines Shahrazad?6 Could she manifest an entity contained by Shahrazad who is, herself, fictional?
Dr. Burton: This is way outside of my area of expertise, but maybe? I mean, it depends on how your ability works. Although, I guess if I’m conducting the first interview of an anomaly that’s something I should ask, huh? Tell me about your anomalous trait.
SCP-7891: Now you’re starting to understand what we’re doing here. When I tell a story, or even when I hear one, I can convert the subject of the story into fiction. Make it so that it was never real.
Dr. Burton: But if I understand this right, that means that you can safely contain any anomaly. Even Keter-class anomalies wouldn’t be a challenge. Just a few words and the lizard isn’t a threat to anyone anymore.
SCP-7891: Everyone wants me to contain the lizard, but it’s not so simple. Some anomalies can’t be contained with this method. Imagine if I tried to contain the Daevite Empire.
Dr. Burton: It could work. Or, I guess, maybe it would hand them the entirety of history on a silver platter? I’m not really sure how they would interact with your trait.
SCP-7891: You’re starting to see the problem. Besides, I’m full. It turns out, I can only contain so many entities and I hit my limit centuries ago.
Dr. Burton: Oh. That’s probably why you became part of the Foundation.
SCP-7891: Exactly. In the early days we were a containment team of three. Myself, my sister, and my husband. One to tell the stories, one to listen, and one to record. That’s how it works, after all. I can’t just whisper a story into the wind. Someone needs to hear it and someone needs to record it. And because we were clever, we turned our containment method itself into a story. A woman staving off her execution by entertaining the king with stories.
Dr. Burton: And that lets you connect to other… pataphysical… layers? Or whatever the term is?
SCP-7891: Close enough. We grew, in time. Ibn al-Muqaffa’, Muhsin Mahdi, Dīyūnisūs Shāwīsh, Hanna Diyab, and countless others helped me contain anomalies until I learned I could hold no more. Thankfully, at that point, several normalcy-preserving groups were beginning to form. So my work continued in a new form.
Dr. Burton: Huh. Fascinating.
SCP-7891: You should ask why I requested this interview.
Dr. Burton: Ah, right. Why did you request this interview?
SCP-7891: Because I am going to tell you a story.
Dr. Burton: But you said you couldn’t contain any more anomalies.
SCP-7891: I can’t. But one of the anomalies I contain is pounding on the walls of its unit, demanding to be let out. If I don’t transfer it to a different unit, it might breach.
Dr. Burton: That’s not good. What do we need to do?
SCP-7891: Just listen. Remember what I said earlier? About Shahrazad telling a story of Shahrazad? Well, what if SCP-7891 tells a story of SCP-7891?
Dr. Burton: You can transfer it to a different story. A different containment unit in a different universe.
SCP-7891: Exactly. So, you’re here to listen and the cameras are here to record. Are you ready?
Dr. Burton: Please, proceed.
SCP-7891: Very well. This is the story of SCP-7891. An uncontained anomaly with a disruption class of Amida and a risk class of Critical.
Dr. Burton: I don’t like the sound of that.
SCP-7891: Special Containment Procedures: Since a method of containing SCP-7891 has not yet been determined, containment efforts are currently focused on maintaining the veil and minimizing casualties.
Dr. Burton: Wait, you’re narrating conprocs? Like an SCP file?
SCP-7891: Yes. Were you expecting something more Arabian Nights?
Dr. Burton: Maybe. Or just a normal story. I’m not complaining, mind, it just seems like an odd choice.
SCP-7891: It’s necessary for the method I’m utilizing. To synchronize several layers of stories, the stories in question must resemble each other in form. This interview is going into my own file, after all. Therefore it becomes an SCP file in an SCP file. This is also why we share designations.
Dr. Burton: I guess that makes sense. Sorry for the interruption. Please, carry on.
SCP-7891: A cover story of a volcanic eruption causing unpredictable severe weather is being disseminated to explain the change in weather patterns caused by SCP-7891. A perimeter has been set up around Site-01 to prevent anyone from entering or leaving.
All sites are on lockdown. Communication must be performed either in-person or via text to prevent interference from SCP-7891. Any personnel suspected of being under SCP-7891’s influence are to be detained, interrogated and amnesticized.
All research is being discontinued and every department is instructed to investigate the nature of SCP-7891 and methods of containing it.
Dr. Burton: So something’s taken over Site-01 and no one knows what it is?
SCP-7891: They have some idea.
Description: SCP-7891 is Jeffrey Barmaki, formerly the secretary of O5-1. It is unknown when SCP-7891 was hired, but there are records mentioning it dating back to 1902. It has served as O5-1’s secretary for the entire time, with its apparent longevity going unnoticed, possibly due to a mild memetic effect. A journal remaining from the early days of the American Secure Containment Initiative, one of the Foundation’s predecessors, makes reference to an “unassuming Arab man who always seems to have an answer,” who may be SCP-7891.
Until recent events, SCP-7891 has been an exemplary employee, receiving numerous accolades. O5-1 has credited its advice with ending several crises and successfully containing numerous anomalies, and even described it as “the unofficial O5-14.”
On 11/1/1994, SCP-7891 suddenly developed a number of anomalous traits. Based on recovered footage, it manifested in the O5 Council chamber, somehow bypassing thaumaturgic wards, and utilized an unknown thaumaturgic technique to transform the council members into sand. MTF Alpha-1 (“Red Right Hand”) mobilized to confront the attacker, but were transformed into dogs as they reached the chamber. After this, the Site-01 security network failed and additional events were not captured.
Utilizing O5-1’s credentials, SCP-7891 contacted each site director and department head via video and employed a cognitohazardous ability to force each to initiate containment breaches, fires, and other emergency situations. It is believed that approximately ninety percent of site directors and department heads were compromised, most of which were able to escape in the ensuing chaos. Surveillance of Site-01 has caught some footage of the compromised personnel.
SCP-7891 then began altering weather patterns. In the hours after the deaths of the O5 Council, an anomalous storm began at Site-01 and dark clouds now cover the sky in a radius of three hundred miles and growing.
Dr. Burton: So he’s just holed up there? What does he want?
SCP-7891: As a matter of fact, someone decided to ask him just that. I think it’s time for an interview log.
Addendum 7891-1: On 11/3/1994, Dr. Ursula Payne contacted Site-01 using a series of cognitohazard filters in order to conduct an interview with SCP-7891. Whichever .aic is transcribing this conversation may want to add a block quote here.
Interviewed: SCP-7891
Interviewer: Dr. Ursula Payne
Begin interview.
The footage shows SCP-7891 dressed in a black robe and sitting in the O5 Council chamber. It looks noticeably older and has grown a beard.
Dr. Payne: Jeffrey? Do you remember me? Ursula with the Department of History? We’ve met a few times.
SCP-7891: I remember.
Dr. Payne: What are you doing? Why did you kill the O5s?
SCP-7891: I am seizing control. I will be the new O5.
Dr. Payne: Then why haven’t you sent out further communications? We’ve been waiting to receive your demands.
SCP-7891: I have issued instructions to the Foundation leadership. Your job is to obey their orders.
Dr. Payne: You took control of their minds!
SCP-7891: I will do as I please. I control the Foundation.
Dr. Payne: Then what’s your goal? Are you not happy with the way the Foundation is run? Do you want to lift the veil? Decommission more anomalies?
SCP-7891: My goal is to replace O5.
Dr. Payne: Then let’s begin negotiating. O5’s dead. There’s nothing we can do about that. If we agree you’re in charge what will change? Will you release the leadership from your control? Will you allow us to continue our work?
SCP-7891: There will be no negotiating. I will accept nothing less than complete surrender.
Dr. Payne: But it might be easier to achieve that if you at least tell us what you’re going to do. We don’t even know what you want.
SCP-7891: What I want? WHAT I WANT? JE VEUX ÊTRE O5 À LA PLACE DU O5!7
SCP-7891 cuts off communication, ending the interview.
Dr. Burton: Not very reasonable, is he?
SCP-7891: He’s very confused right now. But let’s accelerate things a little. From here there are lots of conversations between lots of scientists and we could go through them all, but the important thing is the conclusion they come to.
Addendum 7891-2: On 11/4/1994 the acting head of the Department of History, Dr. Ursula Payne, and the head of the Department of Literature, Dr. Antoine Burton, released a document outlining the theory that SCP-7891 is Ja’far ibn Yahya, the vizier of 8th century caliph of the Islamic Empire, Harun al-Rashid.
Dr. Burton: Wait, I’m head of the Department of Literature?
SCP-7891: Why not? You’re even one of the few department heads who avoided falling under the anomaly’s control. There’s no harm in being a little self-indulgent in a story.
Dr. Burton: But I was just a kid in the ‘90s.
SCP-7891: Well, in this story you were born a little earlier. Anyway, their proposed timeline of events is included below:
C. 767: Ja’far ibn Yahya is born.
786: Harun al-Rashid becomes caliph. He appoints Ja’far’s father, Yahya, as vizier. Later, as Yahya ages, Ja’far is given the role.
C. 803: Ja’far is executed on Harun’s order. The reason for this is unknown.
C. 900-1000: The first version of One Thousand and One Nights is written in Persia. It would spread to Arabia, with many authors adding or changing stories. Harun and Ja’far appear as characters in many of these stories.
1701: The first French translation of One Thousand and One Nights. Among the tales added to this version is “The Story of Aladdin, or the Wonderful Lamp,” which features a nameless vizier as its central antagonist. This story would grow to become one of the most iconic tales in One Thousand and One Nights, with various translations and adaptations appearing throughout the world.
C.1790: The earliest possible reference to Jeffrey Barmaki in American Secure Containment Initiative records.
1902: The earliest confirmed reference to Jeffrey Barmaki in Foundation records.
1940: The film The Thief of Baghdad is released. It features a villainous vizier named Jaffar.
1952: The film The Golden Blade is released. It features a hero named Harun al-Rashid and a villainous vizier named Jafar.
1992: The Disney film Aladdin is released. It features a villainous vizier named Jafar.8
11/1/1994: Jeffrey Barmaki suddenly displays a number of anomalous traits, murders the O5 Council, and attempts to seize control of the Foundation.
Dr. Burton: It kind of seems like they’re jumping to conclusions.
SCP-7891: That’s exactly what they said at the inter-department meeting.
Dr. Burton: Inter-department meeting?
SCP-7891: Addendum 7891-3: On 11/5/1994, a meeting was held between several department representatives at Site-redacted.
Dr. Burton: Site-redacted?
SCP-7891: Yes. This facility is located physically near Site-01, a fact which becomes relevant. So its number is redacted.
The parties present at this meeting are:
Ursula Payne, acting head of the Department of History
Antoine Burton, head of the Department of Literature
Hannah Chavis, acting head of the Department of Thaumatology
and John Lyons, acting head of the Department of Tactical Theology
Foreword: Dr. Ursula Payne requested a meeting with the above personnel to discuss her theories regarding SCP-7891.
Begin excerpt.
Dr. Lyons: What’s this document supposed to prove? Half of this is just the release years of movies.
Dr. Chavis: I imagine they’re trying to claim that SCP-7891 is an anomaly influenced by fictional depictions of itself. What I want to know is where they got the idea that it’s this Ja’far person.
Dr. Payne: Yes, well, I had my suspicions from the moment SCP-7891 was identified as Jeffrey Barmaki. Naturally, I never thought twice about the name before, but looking at it now I became fixated on the name Barmaki. That was the family name of Ja’far ibn Yahya. To confirm my suspicions, I decided to contact it.
Dr. Lyons: That was a profoundly foolish thing to do, by the way. A directed, personalized cognitohazardous attack like the ones SCP-7891 uses can easily tear through automated defenses.
Dr. Chavis: Have you managed to learn something about the cognitohazard attack?
Dr. Lyons: We were able to recover some of the video footage and had it analyzed by an .aic. It manifested a staff which glowed while it instructed its victims. Both its voice and the light were detected as sources.
Dr. Payne: But that’s just more evidence! Listen, you all saw the footage of my interview, right? That French phrase he shouted at the end? That was when I knew I had to consult with Dr. Burton.
Dr. Burton: It’s paraphrased from a French comic book called Iznogoud.
Dr. Burton: Oh, I like the voice you’re doing for me.
SCP-7891: Thank you.
Dr. Burton: I was already forming my own hypothesis when Dr. Payne contacted me with what she’d learned. I think what we’re dealing with is a manifestation of the fictional depictions of Ja’far ibn Yahya. In One Thousand and One Nights, Ja’far was usually depicted as a loyal advisor and competent administrator, so that’s what SCP-7891 was. But the popularity of the story of Aladdin led to viziers increasingly being depicted as villains. And when people needed a name for their evil vizier they looked at One Thousand and One Nights and grabbed the first vizier name they found.
Dr. Chavis: That seems like a tenuous connection. I mean, this Ja’far isn’t the only significant Ja’far in history. I doubt he’s even the only historical vizier with that name.
Dr. Burton: Maybe not, and I think that’s why he didn’t go berserk until now. The connections were there, but they weren’t strong enough. All of this narrative energy built up around the concept of the evil vizier, just barely touching Jeff but not quite effecting him. When Disney’s Aladdin came out this energy became too big to control. Once the floodgates burst, all of that energy flowed into Jeff.
Dr. Chavis: But Aladdin came out two years ago. Why are these “floodgates” only bursting now?
Dr. Burton: My hypothesis is that it’s due to a novel. In a series that has just enough of a following to make a dent in the collective unconscious. It’s called Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. It has multiple passages describing how viziers are always treacherous and power hungry. If Aladdin loaded the gun then Interesting Times pulled the trigger. He’s not just Ja’far. He’s every evil vizier in every story.
Dr. Lyons: Ridiculous. You’ve come up with a fun little idea worthy of a conspiracy board, but I’m afraid my department has already worked out what SCP-7891 is. Instead of reading VideoHound, we actually took some measurements. There is a massive amount of Akiva radiation pouring out of Site-01.
Dr. Payne: You think it’s a god?
Dr. Lyons: Probably always was, so it’s not a true ascension. It’s most likely some obscure, forgotten god who’s been biding its time at the Foundation, waiting until it could get its hands on an anomaly that could give it back some power.
Dr. Burton: Akiva radiation? That doesn’t make sense.
Dr. Payne: But all of its actions match our hypothesis. Even things like summoning storms and turning people into dogs. Both of those occur in The Thief of Baghdad.
Dr. Chavis: I have a question. Fictional anomalies usually infect stories, don’t they? They’re not infected by them. Normally, they reshape stories around themselves, and when they manifest physically they do so by reshaping reality to match their story’s characteristics.
Dr. Burton: That’s true. I’ve been trying to figure out why, but the best answer I can come up with is the fact that the person existed before the fictional anomaly. Ja’far is older than stories about Ja’far. That usually isn’t the case with fictional anomalies.
Dr. Chavis: I’m reminded of SCP-5925. Are you familiar with that one?
Dr. Burton: That one’s just an old man, isn’t it?
Dr. Chavis: Yes, an old man. A friendly old man and nothing else. As long as you don’t associate certain characteristics to it or call it by certain names. Nomenclative magic is hard to control, even for entities connected to it.
Dr. Lyons: But that doesn’t explain the Akiva radiation.
Dr. Burton: Actually, maybe it does. Say he was an old god. One who was forgotten about when the Abrahamic religions took prominence. He used nomenclative magic to conceptually associate himself with Ja’far ibn Yahya. In this way he was able to treat the sharing of stories the way a normal god does religious worship, at least enough to keep existing. But then these characters who are sort of Ja’far but not really start appearing. There’s lines connecting them all, but they’re vague until Interesting Times solidifies them enough to force all of these identities onto Jeff. That’s when he loses control.
Dr. Lyons: That…could be possible.
Dr. Payne: I’m a little out of my depth, but it makes sense to me.
Dr. Chavis: That still leaves us with one question. How do we kill it?
Dr. Burton: Wait, we’re going to kill Jeff?
Dr. Lyons: After the damage it’s caused, we don’t have a choice. It needs to be neutralized.
Dr. Burton: But kill him? It’s not like he meant to do any of this. This is something that happened to him. There has to be a way to help him.
Dr. Chavis: I know you’re friends with him, but trying to save him is too dangerous. Look at the damage he’s caused already. The O5 Council is dead.
Dr. Payne: Antoine—
Dr. Burton: No, I get it. You’re right. He needs to be stopped. Saving him is a luxury we can’t afford.
End excerpt.
Dr. Burton: So it’s a former god turned into a story?
SCP-7891: Essentially. Now, I think it’s time for the conclusion, don’t you?
Dr. Burton: What’s next? A log of an MTF operation to infiltrate Site-01 and use some device to stop it?
SCP-7891: Nothing quite so action-packed, but you’re on the right track.
Addendum 7891-4: In the early hours of 11/6/1994, Dr. Antoine Burton managed to bypass the perimeter around Site-01 and enter the facility. He wore a body camera, which captured the following footage.
The footage opens with Dr. Burton standing at the main entrance of Site-01.
Dr. Burton: Okay. Here goes nothing.
He swipes his ID and the door slides open. Instead of the foyer, the entrance leads immediately into an office. Fluorescent lights illuminate rows of cubicles, where various members of low-level Site-01 staff can be seen working at their computers. As Dr. Burton steps inside, the door slides shut behind him. He continues down one of the rows. A currently-unidentified employee passes him by, holding a mug of coffee.
Employee: Working hard or hardly working?
Dr. Burton: I think I’m a little lost.
Employee: You’re one of the big guys, aren’t you? Here to meet with O5? Better late than never, eh?
Dr. Burton: I guess so. Say, I noticed the outer gates were open. No one was at the checkpoints.
Employee: Don’t need ‘em. The new O5’s developed a whole new security system. Much more efficient.
Dr. Burton: Right. What’s everyone doing here?
Employee: Containment! Organizing maintenance schedules, hiring personnel. All the fiddly parts of running the Foundation. Once the restructuring is complete and everyone has submitted to O5’s will, the Foundation will be more smooth and efficient than ever.
Dr. Burton: I see. So, where can I find O5?
Employee: Just take the stairs.
He points to the elevator.
Dr. Burton: Thanks.
Dr. Burton makes his way to the elevator doors and presses the call button, the door opens revealing a spiral staircase.
Dr. Burton: Right. Of course.
He looks up. The stairs spiral upwards into the distance. With a sigh, he begins his ascent.
Dr. Burton: So, I’m not sure what that was all about. I guess it’s a bit of Jeff. Once the evil vizier takes over, he doesn’t know what to do because the evil vizier never wins, so he defaults back to trying to keep things running. As for why the interior’s changed? I have no idea.
Dr. Burton continues climbing for several minutes. A pair of dogs chase each other down the stairs, passing him by. Eventually, he reaches the top of the stairs and finds that they stop at a trap door in the ceiling. He pulls it open to find an enormous brightly lit room. The ceiling, walls, and floor are all black and white tiles, making it difficult to get a sense of scale. A collection of objects is visible in the distance.
Dr. Burton: You have got to be kidding me.
Dr. Burton begins to walk, heading towards the objects. As he nears them, it becomes clear that they are an uneven arrangement of ornate wooden cages, each with a brightly-colored songbird. They begin to sing with a high-pitched piercing sound. Dr. Burton begins to run, weaving around any cages in his path. The cages give way to wooden perches containing vultures which take flight and begin to swoop at Dr. Burton, brandishing their claws. He continues to run until his path is blocked by an approximately twelve-foot-tall hawk-like bird. He skids to a halt.
Dr. Burton: Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me.
Another vulture swoops at Dr. Burton and he begins to run again, trying to give a wide berth to the hawk-like bird. Once clear, he picks up speed, sprinting even though the high-pitched song has faded significantly and the vultures have stopped their attack. He reaches a wall and looks back and forth.
Dr. Burton: Which way?
A section of the wall slides open, revealing the interior of an elevator. Dr. Burton rushes inside. The door closes behind him.
Dr. Burton: Okay. For the record, I’m not injured. The vultures came near, but they always swooped away. I think they were just trying to scare me. Ears are ringing, but hopefully my hearing isn’t damaged. Elevator is moving. When I find Jeff, I’m probably going to be going on the record with some personal stuff. Stuff that I shouldn’t really go on the record with without his permission. But I think I may be able to end this crisis and there needs to be an exact record of how it’s dealt with, so I just have to hope he forgives me.
The elevator doors open, revealing a circular rooftop which does not match Site-01. It is made of gray stone tiles, with only a small raised ledge and no railing. Despite the severity of the storm, none of the water reaches the rooftop and the area is completely dry. A six foot tall hourglass can be seen near the edge of the roof, its sand slowly falling. Next to it, SCP-7891 is standing at a canvas, painting a photorealistic portrait of Dr. Burton. As Dr. Burton crosses the rooftop, SCP-7891 turns to face him.
Dr. Burton: Do you know me?
SCP-7891: No.
Dr. Burton: You’re lying to spare my feelings. Which means you’re still you, at least a little bit. What’s with the hourglass?
SCP-7891: When the sands run out, your life will end.
Dr. Burton: Doesn’t look like I have much time left.
SCP-7891 turns away and begins applying more paint to the canvas.
SCP-7891: If I can capture someone’s likeness perfectly, then destroy the image, I think I can kill them.
Dr. Burton: You’re more than just a story. I didn’t go camping with a story. I didn’t have long conversations with a story. I never kissed a story. A story never bought me flowers.
SCP-7891: That doesn’t…it was all part of my plan.
Dr. Burton: How? I’m not some princess you can marry to get power. I know that your feelings for me were more real than whatever you’re experiencing now. I know you love me, Jeff. Or is it Ja’far? I’m guessing the SCI were the ones who started calling you Jeffrey because they found it easier to pronounce.
SCP-7891: I am Jafaraltalibabuhassanhongiznogoudzigzag. The one you describe was the illusion. This is my destiny.
Dr. Burton: You aren’t those characters. They don’t share your name. Some of them aren’t even viziers. They’re three or four steps removed.
SCP-7891: They’re part of me. You can’t separate them.
Dr. Burton: Jeff, please look at me. We can figure this out.
SCP-7891: Jeff is gone.
Dr. Burton: Why are you being so stubborn? You aren’t the evil vizier. You never were.
Dr. Burton begins to shout.
Dr. Burton: The evil vizier is al-Mu’in ibn Sawa!
SCP-7891 drops its paintbrush. It turns to face Dr. Burton again, eyes wide with surprise.
SCP-7891: He was evil, wasn’t he?
Dr. Burton moves a little closer to SCP-7891
Dr. Burton: You were in that story.
SCP-7891: That’s right. Harun and I saw the lamps lit at the Palace of Delight and of Statues. Harun traded clothes with a fisherman to sneak in and ended up catching lice.
SCP-7891 laughs.
Dr. Burton: And when the two of you learned why Nur al-Din and Janis al-Alis were sheltering there, you helped them. In the end, you were the one who arrested the evil vizier.
SCP-7891: And took him back to Baghdad to be executed for his crimes.
Dr. Burton: I like those old stories. You rushing around, trying to complete the caliph’s tasks no matter how unreasonable they were. It’s cute.
SCP-7891: He ordered me to make fun of an old blind man once. I told the poor man he could cure his blindness with some ridiculous concoction of sunlight and wind. The old man thanked me for my kindness and said “I offer you this payment,” then farted.
Dr. Burton laughs. He steps closer and reaches out a hand. SCP-7891 takes it and the two of them look out at the raging storm.
SCP-7891: Did he have me executed in the end? It’s hard to tell which events are real.
Dr. Burton: According to historical record, yes. No one knows why.
SCP-7891: He found out the truth. About what I am.
Dr. Burton: A god? That’s the current theory, anyway.
SCP-7891: My father, Yahya, found me. A poor, defeated god who was no longer worshiped and nearly forgotten. He took pity on me and did…something, I’m not sure what, to make me human. Or nearly human. After that, Harun and I grew up together. We were practically brothers.
Dr. Burton: When he found out the truth, he must have felt betrayed.
SCP-7891: And so he had me executed. That was supposed to be the end. A normal human life, cut a little shorter than anticipated.
Dr. Burton: But people started telling stories about you. Enough to wake you up.
SCP-7891: Is that what happened? I didn’t understand it, but I knew who I was. The loyal vizier. The bureaucrat who keeps things running and fulfills the caliph’s impossible orders. I was many advisors to many people in many ways. I always found a way to remain a vizier after a fashion.
Dr. Burton: I wonder how much of the Foundation’s success can be attributed to you.
SCP-7891: I couldn’t guess.
Dr. Burton: But then the story began to change. And, well, here’s where we ended up. Do you remember your original name? When you were a god?
SCP-7891: I remember very little from the time before Yahya changed me, but I know that I was al-Kutbay. The god of writing.
Dr. Burton: That makes sense.
SCP-7891: I don’t think I can stay here. As powerful as I am, I’m too delicate. Too easily influenced by the ideas of others.
Dr. Burton: Can I come with you?
SCP-7891: I don’t think that’s possible.
Dr. Burton: I thought you’d say that.
SCP-7891: But the Foundation does impossible things all the time. Maybe we will somehow find each other again.
Dr. Burton: I’d like that.
SCP-7891: I love you.
Dr. Burton: I love you, too.
They kiss.
The last grain of sand in the hourglass falls.
SCP-7891 is gone.
End log.
Dr. Burton: Wow.
SCP-7891: How do you feel?
Dr. Burton: I feel empty. Like I’m the character in your story and I’ve really lost someone.
SCP-7891: I’m sorry. Telling stories means hurting people sometimes.
Dr. Burton: So what happens next?
SCP-7891: Nothing. The transfer is complete and the anomaly is on its way to its new containment chamber.
Dr. Burton: Then it’s probably time to conclude this interview.
SCP-7891: You should take the rest of the day off. And tomorrow, too. Once the recording ends and I’m back to being O5-5, I’ll make a call.
<End log.>
I have heard, too, o king, that there was one other event in SCP-7891 that the Foundation considered worthy of their records: The night after the Foundation made their discovery of the strange record in the thirty-ninth room, when no one was present in the palace save for the SCP-7891-1 instances who were asleep, that the Foundation’s eyes which remained in the halls witnessed a strange event. Although the thirty-ninth room had been thoroughly searched and there was no place for a man to hide, its door now opened and a man stepped into the hall. He was dressed in a manner similar to the Foundation’s scholars. He made his way to the fortieth door and even though it was said to be locked, the door sprang open at his touch. He entered the room and closed the door behind him.
Shahriyar said, “What a strange and mysterious story. Do you know any stories about birds?” “Yes,” she replied, and she began:
Incident log 7891-1: On 11/7/23 several exclusionary sites reported a discrepancy in their records compared with the rest of the Foundation, suggesting that a CK-class reality-restructuring event had occurred. The only notable difference was that the exclusionary sites contained no record of Researcher Barmaki, one of the members of SCP-7891’s containment team. The appearance of this discrepancy corresponds with Researcher Barmaki accessing SCP-7891. Since he shares a name with a character in SCP-7891, Researcher Barmaki has been detained pending an investigation. The Temporal Anomalies Department has assigned Agent Burton to determine whether Researcher Barmaki is a threat. This investigation is ongoing.
