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A digital estimation of SCP-7664's appearance, illustrated by Researcher Rowan Raster. Click here to view stain diagram.

Item #: SCP-7664

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7664 is held at Site-433 within a small sterile containment chamber, positioned at the far side of the chamber. During testing, research personnel are to maintain a safe distance from SCP-7664 and should cover their eyes if necessary. Any changes in SCP-7664's appearance should be reported immediately.

Staff that have recently interacted with SCP-7664 during testing are advised to enter the decontamination chamber so as not to risk infection. Easily nauseated personnel are not to be assigned to SCP-7664. Photography of SCP-7664 is not to be performed outside of testing.

SCP-7664 infected individuals are kept within quarantine chambers until their symptoms subside. Attempts at treatment are only to be performed during testing. Investigation into the interrogative uses of SCP-7664 are ongoing.

Subjects who have been infected by SCP-7664 in the past are to be reported and accounted for during disciplinary hearings.

Description: SCP-7664 is a cardboard standee, about 209 cm tall, resembling the cartoon character "Dandy Doggone" from Rumpus the Ram.12 Dandy is illustrated cautiously sniffing the air to his right and nervously looking to his left. The cardboard SCP-7664 is constructed with is stained3 and torn in areas, but is in otherwise relatively good condition. SCP-7664's material is coarse in texture and has been described by several D-Class as "rocky" or "granular".

Subjects who have stared at SCP-7664 for long periods of time claim to see the illustration of Dandy blink. This specific phenomenon has yet to be captured.

SCP-7664 has the anomalous property of rapidly accelerating any bacterial growth upon its surface; it also emits odors of varying scents, typically one that is personally4 unpleasant to the individual closest to SCP-7664.5 The precise source of this odor is yet to be identified. Prolonged exposure has previously induced fits of hysteria, nausea, and intense guilt in subjects. Whether or not this reaction is anomalously produced is poorly understood.


Magnified image of SCP-7664. Cognitohazardous material redacted.

When observing SCP-7664 from a closer distance, evidence of decay and contamination increases to an anomalous degree. At a distance of 0.6 meters, the character of "Dandy Doggone" is no longer distinguishable, and SCP-7664 instead resembles a hyper-intricate mural of [DATA EXPUNGED], personalized to the subject.6 These changes in appearance are preserved in photographs. All subjects that fully comprehend a portion of the mural experience intense revulsion. Additional common responses have included vomiting and falling unconscious. This is believed to be partially cognitohazardous.

The contents of the mural are intensely traumatic and capable of inducing symptoms of PTSD in already previously-traumatized subjects. Treatment with amnestics is only partially successful, as it currently appears the only way to fully alleviate the subject of these symptoms is treatment via art therapy. The art produced by affected subjects, while potentially disturbing, does not have the same cognitohazardous properties as the mural. Subjects have expressed feelings of relief, acceptance, and levity when completing artwork.

The secondary anomalous effect of SCP-7664 activates whenever a subject contracts a bacterial infection from its surface. 7664-infected individuals' appearances will become vulgarly deformed by unknown means. These deformities exaggerate features that the infected individual feels most insecure about. Individuals also develop poor impulse control, acting out in a performatively crude manner. Controlling these impulses has been described by several infected as mentally and physically strenuous, in extreme cases leading to migraines or muscle cramps. Infected individuals are unable to spread their illness to others, even if their illness is contagious in nature.

The illness contracted from SCP-7664 can vary, and will always manifest as an existing disease, but symptoms will be prolonged7 and magnified to an often excessive degree. These symptoms do not wane, leaving the 7664-infected individual in a continual state of acute discomfort. Infected subjects also appear to have a larger chance of being involved in situations considered either exaggeratedly mortifying, dramatic, or humorous. Non-infected individuals around an infected subject will either express displeasure and disgust at the subject or acute feelings of schadenfreude.

Attempts at treating an infected subject of their illness will cause the subject to undergo further bodily deformation and a prolonging of the illness. This is often followed by an anomalously-exaggerated flare-up in the instance's illness.

This process is never fatal despite the extreme amounts of bodily stress it inflicts upon the instance.

An SCP-7664 infected individual will typically refuse treatment, claiming that they are deserving of their affliction and often refer to the affliction as a "punishment". Infected individuals frequently display penitent behavior over prior actions that they deem as regretful or shameful; they also have an acute knowledge that treatment would cause additional harm.

After an varying amount of time, the illness will abate in the subject. Symptoms will rapidly subside and the instance's deformations will demanifest entirely. Following this change is a cognitohazardous phenomenon that affects those familiar with the individual and their sickness. Persons who would otherwise have an unfavorable opinion of the individual will often suddenly approach them with the understanding that they have been punished; many forgive the individual for any misdeeds in their past whether the persons were aware of any incidents or not. In larger social settings, the individual appears to be more respected and treated more equitably by those around them in comparison to individuals with similar backgrounds who have been unaffected by SCP-7664.

Discovery: Prior to the discovery of SCP-7664, Simon Clarie, the director and creator of Rumpus the Ram, was the focus of several controversies and allegations. The most notable of these include:

  • Mistreatment of Sputnik Studios animators and voice actors during the production of Rumpus the Ram;
  • Two anonymous sexual assault allegations published online;
  • The belief that episodes of Rumpus the Ram co-produced by Simon are fetishistic in nature;12
  • An interview wherein Simon Clarie expresses sincere belief in phrenology;
  • Simon Clarie's general hostility towards the Rumpus the Ram online fandom.

Many subjects interviewed that interacted with Simon Clarie during this period in time described his behavior as deeply frustrated and paranoid, verging on hostile when subjects questioned his involvement in many of these controversies.

Afterwards, Simon Clarie abruptly left Sputnik Studios, leading to Rumpus the Ram's unceremonious cancellation. Many of Simon's social media accounts would also promptly be taken down in light of this, assumed to be an attempt at isolating himself from the public. It is believed that Simon Clarie was staying within his primary residence during this time.

Months afterwards, monitoring of 911 calls notified the Foundation of reports of "inhuman, banshee-like screeching" coming from within Simon Clarie's residence. Multiple agents disguised as police officers were dispatched in the area, entering the building.

The source of the "screeching" was quickly discovered to be a naked Simon in his bedroom, screaming at an extreme volume whilst clutching his lower abdomen in anguish. Many agents were quick to notice several sharp, jagged edges stretching out from the inside of Simon's pelvis. Simon's bedroom was bare, aside from several broken illustrator pens drained of their ink, surrounding Simon in a circle.

As soon as the mass was discovered, it began attempting to break out of Simon's pelvis through the urethra. Simon's scream escalated in volume, reaching an anomalous level that nearly deafened a few agents. The urethra of Simon began to stretch open into an anatomically impossibly wide cavity, a singular pawed hand composed entirely out of renal calculi13 clawing out.

Simon began to make several indecipherable choking noises in an attempt to communicate with the agents. Subsequently, the front of his pelvis stretched outwards, bursting open and completely mutilating his genitalia. This rendered Simon limp, the shock and blood loss believed to kill him instantly.

The animate renal calculi structure crawled out from within the corpse's pelvis. Bullets shot at the structure simply disappeared within, possibly becoming part of the composition. Fully pulling itself out, the structure was revealed to take on a similar shape to Dandy Doggone. The figure glistened with blood, viscera, and urine. It stated "gone and done it again"14 before its body flattened, shifting into a cardboard standee.

The standee immediately displayed anomalous properties. It took approximately an hour for the agents to reconcile what they had witnessed before retrieving SCP-7664 and moving it to Site-433.

Exploration of Simon Clarie's residence revealed a shocking absence of personal belongings, aside from a massive amount of ashes discovered within the fireplace and the aforementioned arranged broken pens. Simon's personal computer was discovered within the bathroom, shattered into multiple pieces and shoved into an overflowing toilet. Any data within the computer was rendered unrecoverable.

An autopsy of Simon Clarie revealed several abnormal qualities. Aside from the mutilated pelvis and genitalia, other oddities include the disappearance of the subject's pupils and irises, irrecoverably damaged vocal cords, kidneys completely crystalized into renal calculi, and a stomach containing heavy amounts of pen ink. The body also has yet to undergo decomposition, and the eyes occasionally leak urine from an unknown source. It currently resides within Site-433's morgue.

Due to the anomalous circumstances of Simon Clarie's death, a cover story was initiated involving his disappearance in a successful attempt to evade the consequence of his many controversies.

Interviews with members of GoI-411 ("Sputnik Studios") about the reasoning behind Simon Clarie's sudden departure were mostly met with confusion. However, a few employees would recall that the last thing they remembered Simon Clarie doing before his departure was having a private discussion with a PR firm.

Investigation has yet to uncover the identity or existence of this PR firm.

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