Who are you? Who is me?
Item-#: SCP-74951
Object Class: aaaaaaaaaa2
If you have access to this file, then you’ve probably avoided what caused me to have to write this in the first place. Either that, or you’re the unlucky sap that’s been tasked to rebuild society from whatever dumb fucking bullshit the Foundation has for disasters like this. I don’t know, I wasn’t told anything about what’s going to happen in the next few hours. Personally, I don’t think anything is going to help, because only Site-106 and Site-237 are still online, but that’s not really here nor there. And I'm not supposed to be giving my opinions about the situation in an official writ anyway.
What matters most right now, at this moment, December 4th, 2024, 6:26PM CST, is that I’m able to write this down without the wordsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaf
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal l
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai n g3
apart at my fingertips. What matters is that I’ve been squirreled away in bunker in the middle of god knows where with only a laptop that allows me to write a coherent file that will be readable, following the basic noospheric laws of linguistics.
The lowdown of the situation is this: we tried everything we could to figure out what it was. The more we attempted to describe it, the more obtuse it became. Definition after definition failed us; first we labeled it as cognitohazard, then as an ontokinetic null factor, until all we were left with forced us to started shoving prefixes together, hoping something stuck. Hoping that whatever language we put to it wouldn’t d e c4y4 into noise, slip between our fingers, destroy the fabric of more concepts or whatever the fuck. I still don’t know if it was attacking anything. I (and sorry, I say "I" because I literally don’t have access to any of the reports right now to review what it caused, I’m going straight off my secondhand knowledge of this) still don’t know if it was just there and we poked it too hard? Did it even spread, implying it used to be something small, or did it just manifest and now the only thing spreading is system shutdowns?
Dammit. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What does is how nothing, and I mean fucking nothing, worked on this thing however it came into whatever. The best antimemes we had couldn’t touch it. Infectious hermeneutics5 were of no use either, and those things cost several miniature XK-class scenarios just to make it to testing. Whatever existential no men clatter6 exists just ends up…it just ends up…
I don’t know how to continue writing this. I will not continue writing this. I will continue writing this because it’s killing me, because I’m wholly convinced
aaaaaaaaaaaaaconcerned
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaconceited
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachronic
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacorrections7
Right, so I’m still here. I’m not dead yet, which is…cool I guess, but the WiFi stopped working an hour ago, and MTF aaaaaaaa haven’t responded in two. The IV I’m strapped to is supposed to be enough to keep me alive for three years which is like…I don’t know if I want that?
Ugh, what a bummer.
So this is where it ends, isn’t it? No, that’s not right. That’s too dreary I think, especially for something like this, and maybe there’s actually some real hope for me, but I don’t know. I’m really not sure what to feel. I’m really not sure what to th1 nk. My decade anniversary at the Foundation was coming up in a week, and now everything’s falling apart. Not exactly 345y to breathe consistently when that’s happening, haha.
I was supposed to be really happy about that, about making it to double digits for a place like this, because they were going to give me a bonus, a party, a bunch of flowers, but damn it all to hell I gue55. This thing went and ruined everything, so now I’m stuck plugging away at this stupid device to amuse myself.
Fuck, my head hurts…
Shit…
I wonder if this is what a migraine feels like. Once I’m done with this, I’m going to aaaaaaaa. And then I’ll aaaaaaaa
my memory is going to be a shell and theaaaaaaaa of me will
Will
Will to live?
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I didn’t have clearance to see…whatever it was supposed to be. This thing causing8…yeah. Man, it’s gonna look bad if this blows over and RAISA finds out I wasted this laptop’s storage space to ramble, but what else do they expect me to do down here? What am I supposed to do? God, why was I even picked to do this? I don’t get it. Was someone trying to spare me? Was that it?9
…
What do you do when your best isn't good enough?10
Does that make it pointless to continue?
Saying "just try again" is cold comfort. The agony of aaaaaaaa11 is too aaaaaaaa to move on from.
If this aaaa is corrupted, will it have mattered if I tried?12
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CORRUPTION DETECTED
CEASE ALL ENGAGEMENT WITHaaaaaaaaaaNOW.
THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM THE O5 COUNCIL.
FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN A PUNISHMENT OFaaaaaaaaaAAaa, STRICTLY ENFORCED IN COMPLIANCE WITH aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Oh please, like I care at this point.
Just get it over with. You dumb motherfuckers put me in charge of this, after all20.
Me21
aaaaaaaaaame
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA me is confirmed?22
I amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaThese spaces defy me, defy23who I wish to be. Who I want to be.
What use do goals have for me now? All my life has been spent trying to avoid punishment24. This is just another prick at the wall.
COMPUTATION FOR LIFE
Me > my ego > myself-identity
When I no longer meet the standards of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.25
That is when I think
Think I am
Unsure of
aaaaaaaaFailure
aaaaaaaaaAn inability to thrive
aaaaaaaaaaNowhere to go
aaaaaaaaaaNow here26
There is a me to be wrong, a me to beaaaaaaa, which is the worst of all.
Will any of it be good? Will these containers allegedly called words ever manage toaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Are they capable of that?
That’s the worst question to ask. The world is ending, and I’m to be the custodian of what is seen if everything manages to be okay in the end.
Why?
Didn’t you know how much I aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
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There is no consistency of the form of misfortune that happens to me. I should stop expecting it all to make sense, stop expecting it all to have meaning.27
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I didn’t ask for this. I don’t deserve this, at all, ever, at any point in time.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaEmergency
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAgency
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaCytotoxic processes
How much can a single unit of flesh and bone derive from the aaaaaaaaaaa. From forcing aaaaaaa into boxes and trying to see aaaa there?
How
aaaaaaaaaaaWhere
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaError?
Return to carriage, start of header, heaven, heaving30
Return to carriage, start of header, heaven,aHeaving both dry and liquid until there isWARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED!
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED! ATTEMPTING SYSTEM RECALL NOW…
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED! SYSTEM RECALL FAILED. REBOOT?
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED!
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED!
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED!
WARNING! ██████████ CORRUPTION DETECTED!
REBOOT FAILED. I am the sum of all of my aaaaaaaaaaa all of my all of all of my all of my all of
aaaaaaaaaa36
I no longer have the words to describe what is wrong with me.