SCP-7461 instance, sporting an adorable hat.
Item #: SCP-7461
Object Class: Senedd
Special Containment Procedures: As per the Senedd containment class, existence of SCP-7461 is not to be classified, and containment efforts may be supported by members of the general public.
SCP-7461 instances are no more dangerous than their non-anomalous counterparts, and are to be treated with the same love and kindness; only with a little extra training to help with their needs.
Description: SCP-7461 is the collective designation given to the anomalies contained at the Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital, located in Pembrokeshire, United Kingdom. This facility hosts a number of sick and injured animals that posses low-risk anomalous properties, and as such, the hospital is considered safe for members of the general public to visit and volunteer for.
Founding: The Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital was established by Dr. Sorraiya Dhanial-Jones in 2010 to help with the overflow of anomalous animals the Foundation had to contain in the British isles. It was determined that having a site dedicated solely to veterinary care would ease the workload of containment staff. The facility has struggled with funding and staffing since its establishment, but with new policies regarding civilian exposure to the anomalous, you can put yourself forward to help these precious animals!
Application Form: If you're able to spare a few hours a week to help out, please fill out the form below and forward it to moc.noitadnuofpcs|latipsoh.efildliw#moc.noitadnuofpcs|latipsoh.efildliw
Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital Volunteer Form
Full name:
DOB:
Full Address (Including postcode):
Why are you interested in volunteering?:
Have you worked with the anomalous before? Or have any anomalous properties yourself? If so, explain:
How did you hear about the Foundation?:
TV or radio advertisement □
Poster or billboard □
Social media □
Exposure to pro-Foundation memetics □
It came to you in a dream □
Friend or relative is a Foundation employee □
Kidnapping1 □
Retroactively selected to volunteer after a timeline restructuring □
Other (Please specify) □
Are you, or have you ever been, a member of a Group of Interested listed under the SCP GoI Dossier? If so, explain:
Do you consent to the Foundation becoming your legal, parental, spiritual, paraphysical, and metaphorical guardians and representatives?:
Yes □ / No □
By volunteering with the Foundation, you waive your right to take any legal or moral actions against the Foundation for accidental injury, exposure to harmful anomalies, loss of life, loss of limb, loss of concepts pertaining to the self, loss of physical form, loss of existence within baseline reality, and theft or damage of smart devices. Do you consent?:
Yes □ / No □
Another happy patient! This guy will go on to work as an all-seeing eye dog!
Addendum 7461-1: Candidate Interview Example
Interviewed: Dr. Kris Lewis, veterinarian currently employed at Vets4U; a vet and pet shop in Tenby.
Interviewer: Dr. Sorraiya Dhanial-Jones, lead vet at the Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Lewis: I'm very excited to be working with you guys!
Dr: Dhanial-Jones: It's good to have you here. We've not long been taking in civilian vets, it's nice to see people interested!
Dr. Lewis: I could've sworn some of the animals I've worked with before were secretly cryptids. Weird to know they could've actually been.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: It's possible but not likely. Anomalous creatures are still relatively rare.
Dr. Lewis: One of the sausage dogs I treated a few years back grew an inch in length when I gave it a microchip.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: … I see.
Dr. Lewis: None of the other vets believed me. In the end I told myself I imagined it. Maybe I did, but, hey, you guys being here shows I could've been right.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: Potentially. Anyway, I'm afraid you don't have quite enough experience to work with us.
Dr. Lewis: What? I've been a practicing vet for nearly 10 years.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: And that's very admirable, but we're not just looking for people whose skills solely lie in animal care.
Dr. Lewis: … This is a facility dedicated to animal care, I don't understand.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: Do you have any combat experience?
Dr. Lewis chokes on the water she was drinking.
Dr. Lewis: Wh— Why would I need combat experience?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: You don't need a lot of it, but you will be looking after animals with properties certain hostile parties will be interested in abusing. We have seals who produce yellow cake for waste. You can see how that may invite opportunistic thieves.
Dr. Lewis: So, what, I'll have to do artillery drills between giving suppositories to nuclear puppies?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: No no, you'll have dedicated security staff. You'll just be expected to have self defense and fire arms training, in case of worst case scenarios, you know. There's like a… 99.99999999… 9 percent chance nothing like that will ever happen?
Dr. Lewis: I'm guessing the .00000001 has a precedent?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones hesitantly lifts her left hand to show she's missing two fingers.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: Chaos Insurgency raid.
Dr. Lewis is silent.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: You missed a zero, by the way.
Dr. Lewis: Well… I guess I should train a bit more anyway.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: We also have some concerns about your inoculations. Says here you never got your rabies vaccine?
Dr. Lewis: I got a booster a couple years back when a fox bit me.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: Yes, but you never got the vaccination for super-rabies.
Dr. Lewis looks on dumfounded.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: It's an anomalous strain that makes you—
Dr. Lewis: I appreciate your time, but I need to, uh, consider my options.
Dr. Lewis abruptly terminates the interview.
<End Log>
Draft Email: To be sent as part of the fundraising and volunteering campaign
The Foundation Needs Your Help, Wales! :flag-wales:
Dr. Dhanial-Jones.
Hi [INSERT NAME HERE],
I'd like to show my gratitude towards you signing up to the Foundation mailing list! It's important to keep up with all the important happenings in this brave new world of the anomalous!
Whilst you were probably hoping to learn about giant monsters and magic tricks, which we do deal with, there are other equally important causes you can help us with.
Did you know there is a species of anomalous fox that reproduces through osmosis? Feeding one captive fox is expensive enough, nevermind a second one appearing when you turn your back for a second.
For just £10 a week, you can help us feed and care for these precious creatures! We'll send you important pupdates23, and you'll get discounts at our gift shop!
Kind regards,
Sorraiya.
Addendum 7461-2: Meeting regarding the state of Foundation charitable initiatives
In attendance:
- Dr. Sorraiya Dhanial-Jones, lead vet at the Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital.
- Dr. Les Bark, Level 3 Researcher.
- Prof. Carly Smith, Chair of the Foundation's Charitable Department, Western Europe division.
- Thomas Blake, Regional Director of Wales.
- Dr. Malachi Mulligan, Regional Director of the Republic of Ireland.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: I'd like to start proceedings by focusing on the positives.
Prof. Smith: What positives, exactly? Volunteer recruitment has been an absolute disaster.
Dr. Dhanial-Smith: Of the many interviews we've—
Prof. Smith: —Interviews. That's it. No one's wanted to sign up after you explain to them they'll have to be exposed to magic animal droppings without pay.
Blake: Donations are drying up as well. We haven't hit our targets in months.
Dr. Bark: I got beaten up outside the M&S I was collecting from.
Dr. Mulligan: And those holiday jingles you make the volunteers sing are just dreadful.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: Alright! So things aren't going perfectly.
There is a brief silence on the recording.
Dr. Bark: … Was there going to be a "but" after that?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: … Umm… I know! The plushies at the gift shop have sold really well!
Prof. Smith: Those are a loss leader.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones balls up the paper notes she had in front of her and throws them in frustration.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: That's it, I give up! You're right, Foundation and charity work don't mix!
She rises from her seat and paces around the room.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: We had more than enough in government funds, but no! Let's let the public get involved!
Dr. Bark: Actually the government has urged us to find external funding now we're a public fac—
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: —What kind of name is "Bark" anyway?!
Dr. Bark: It's more common in Eastern Europe and Scandinavia. Some people anglicised it to "Barke" with an "E", but my family—
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: —I don't care. And I'm not hearing any actual solutions from you lot, either!
Dr. Mulligan: I always thought this was a bad idea. I just came to say we won't be opening your proposed Irish site.
Blake: Why don't we merge with Site 44?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: This isn't Gavin and Stacey, I'm not going all the way to Essex every weekend.
Dr. Bark: What's wrong with Essex?
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: It looks like a post-apocalyptic Sussex.
Prof. Smith: We're getting off topic. The reality. Sorraiya, is that we'll have no choice but to shut you down unless you can muster up some good PR. Fast.
Dhanial-Jones pauses in thought. No one speaks for about a minute. Mulligan has started scrolling Facebook out of boredom.
Dr. Dhanial-Jones: … Tom, do we still have that warehouse full of pre-veil surplus equipment?
Blake: You mean where we kept our crap?
Addendum 7461-3: Carboot promotion
Own a Piece of the Foundation!
Foundation Staff putting in the hard graft!
Raise funds for the poor little critters at the Foundation Anomalous Wildlife Hospital!
The SCP-7461 guys have gotten far with the help of our volunteer team and patrons, but there's still more work to be done!
For years our organisation was secret, but now, you can own a piece of the Foundation, and "contain" an anomaly for yourself!
Come on down to the Hospital, and, for the first time ever, you'll have the opportunity to purchase surplus Foundation gear and declassified anomalous objects (screened for safety, of course)!
Want a genuine Alpha-1 "Red Right Hand" fanny pack? Want a Site 44 lanyard? Want a mug that makes coffee taste like your favourite herbal tea? We have it, while stocks last!
Just look at these mighty stompers! We titled them "These Boots are Made for Walken" back in the day. If you wear them, you get the ability to do a perfect impression of the actor! These could be yours for only £5! That's less than a cup of coffee costs these days!
Don't just take our word for it, come down and take a look!
Everyone at the Foundation team looks forward to seeing you!
Nos da!
The sale was considered a mild success. The Foundation made £1,071 profit, with all proceeds going to treat SCP-7461 instances. Dr. Dhanial-Jones was awarded an extra day annual leave as a reward for her efforts.
The Christopher Walken estate has subsequently issued the Foundation a Cease and Desist, and are currently working with the Foundation legal team.
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