SCP-7168
rating: +36+x

By Marceline D. Raynes

Link To Guide
Item#:7168
Clearance Level 2: Clearance
Containment Class: safe
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Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}
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Disruption Class: #/vlam
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Risk Class: #/notice
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Special Containment Procedures: The conspiracy theory of global Tetrahydrocannabinol1 tolerance (Cover Story 60) increase has been perpetuated by the Foundation, and corporate Tetrahydrocannabinol manufacturers have been blackmailed to comply with this conspiracy. The War on Drugs (Cover Story 7), has been reinstated with the intent to dissuade the general public from consuming Tetrahydrocannabinol.

Those affiliated with various drug empires across the globe have been informed of the tolerance conspiracy theory by embedded Foundation agents within their ranks, and have been strongly advised against selling Tetrahydrocannabinol products to their customers. Civilians who remain vigilant and skeptical of the conspiracy are to be discretely detained by Foundation agents and subjected to experimentation.

Tetrahydrocannabinol experimentation is to be supervised by Researcher Umar Hadid of the S.T.O.N.E.R. Division2. Experimentation is to continue until an accord with SCP-7168-A can be established, as it is hypothesized that doing so will rectify the societal damage done by its anomalous properties.

SCP-7168-A is confined to its extra dimensional hyperlocation and cannot be practically contained without risking further disruption to the standard, non-anomalous effects of marijuana consumption, or perpetuating SCP-7168 indefinitely. Attempts to communicate with the anomaly are the primary goal of Operation ROOT.

Description: SCP-7168 is the phenomenon currently affecting all non-anomalous strains of marijuana. SCP-7168 negates the perception altering effects of, and hallucinations induced by, marijuana. While under the influence of Tetrahydrocannabinol, individuals have reported feeling an overall increase in libido, nausea, guilt, and relaxation, although the perception-altering effects of the substance are absent. Additionally, individuals have reported experiencing hallucinations depicting a "white, formless void", occupied by a sole humanoid entity, designated SCP-7168-A.

Megajuana.png

Researcher Hadid's custom strain.

SCP-7168-A's visual appearance drastically varies to each individual who observes it, with very few consistencies. From the accounts collected from the experiment subjects, SCP-7168-A is always female-presenting, standing at least two meters taller than the individual, and possesses two eyes, one of which luminates a green aura. SCP-7168-A is also highly temperamental, often harassing or belittling individuals who observe it.

SCP-7168-A has admitted to causing SCP-7168, although its reason for doing this is unknown.

Discovery: Researcher Umar Hadid inadvertently discovered SCP-7168-A following the manifestation of SCP-7168. When Researcher Hadid noticed that the marijuana infused brownies he had baked failed to initiate the desired effect, he originally attributed the phenomenon to his rapidly increasing tolerance. Researcher Hadid reported to a Foundation co-worker in his company at the time that he caught a momentary glimpse of a tall female humanoid, who regarded him with disdain. The other individual with him, MTF Delta-20's Jason Mendoza, reported a similar experience, although when he made flirtatious advances at the humanoid, it ignored him.

At this point, Researcher Hadid suspected that anomalous activity was involved. He contacted Alaina Chin, the Director of Site-83, through email, and requested to conduct a series of tests on D-Class personnel and volunteer Foundation researchers. The email below has been included for posterity.

Site Director Chin consulted with Ethics Committee Liason, Michael Keetan, who reasoned that there would be no harm being done to individuals who partook in the proposed experimentation. Site Director Chin greenlit the request, stipulating that the pool of test subjects consist of D-Class personnel and volunteers. The on-going phenomenon was given SCP Classification, and the experimentation was conducted shortly thereafter.

Trials:

On February 14th, 2025, Researcher Hadid began conducting various experiments with volunteer Foundation personnel using different strains of marijuana, each developed and cultivated by the S.T.O.N.E.R. Division.

Amount
Observed Effect
Comments
10mg
Scruby was supplied with 10mg of Marijuana resin to burn and inhale through a Foundation-grade water bubbler. After completing the initial stage of the experiment, Scurby sat cross-legged in the testing chamber, singing to himself while waiting for the perception-altering effects to manifest. After two hours, Scruby reported that he was not feeling the effects of marijuana ingestion and requested to return to the dormitories.
"This honestly fucking sucks. I thought this place was supposed to have all sorts of illicit materials hidden from the normal world, and so far all you've given me is pretty bad weed." -D-0607

"I have to apologize for wasting your time, D-0607. We are trying a new culture, grown right here at Site-83, designed to make you feel more relaxed when ingested. There's an on-going global crisis and I need to find a way to fix it." -R. Hadid

"Well you're gonna have to try harder." -D-0607

"Thank you for that wealth of information." -R. Hadid
50mg
Dr. Nathaniel Burr was supplied with a tray of thirteen freshly baked cookies, infused with the aforementioned strain. While displeased with the taste, Dr. Burr complied with Researcher Hadid's instruction and waited in the testing chamber for the effects to manifest. After two hours passed, Dr. Burr reported feeling mild nausea and witnessing a semi-transparent hand manifest in front of him and unfurl its middle finger. The nausea and visual anomaly were attributed to the trace amounts of LSD infused with the marijuana.
"How are you feeling, Dr. Burr? Do you have any residual nausea?" -R. Hadid

"There's a weird taste in my mouth, and I feel like I've pissed someone off, but I can't place who." -Dr. E

"It's… that's not incredibly helpful. Thank you for your time, Dr. Burr. I'll have to increase the dosage next time." -R. Hadid
235mL
Broadus was supplied with a 235mL cup filled with gelatinous candied worms, infused with the aforementioned strain. As Broadus's tolerance was exceptionally high due to his prolonged experience with marijuana, the perception-altering effects took significantly longer to manifest. Once they did, however, Broadus reported seeing the semi-transparent outline of a female, humanoid visual anomaly. Broadus attempted to contact the visual anomaly, although he vomited before he was able to do so, causing the anomaly to demanifest.
"You tell us that you've seen some visuals briefly, elaborate on that." -R. Hadid

"Yeah, baby. I got a decent buzz and saw a fine woman, taller than me and greener than grass. I tried to talk to her, lay on that Snoop charm, but she gave me the cold shoulder. I think I got some rejection issues I need to work out. These hallucinations are bumming me out." -D-2210

"I'll do what I can about getting you seen. You're sure that was all you saw?" -R. Hadid

"Snoop don't lie, son." -D-2210

"No, of course you don't. Why would you? It's not your ass that's on the line." -R. Hadid
1L
Agent Mendoza was supplied with one liter of tea, infused with the aforementioned strain. Agent Mendoza reported feeling a powerful sense of guilt, although he stated that the feeling felt entirely baseless. After three hours, Agent Mendoza began to feel a minor alteration to his perception, claiming that the same female humanoid he witnessed with Research Hadid had manifested again. The visual anomaly appeared greatly displeased by Agent Mendoza's presence. It waved its hands in a circular motion in front of its body, following which Agent Mendoza vomited, causing the visual anomaly to demanifest.
"I've got the Director breathing down my neck and the whole Foundation's hopes of restoring peace riding on this, Agent Mendoza. Can you please tell me something actually useful?" -R. Hadid

"Man, Umar, you already know what she looks like. Tall, pissed as fuck, beautiful, and definitely not into me. Maybe the weed itself is the anomaly. Maybe it's aliens. Maybe we actually are growing a collective tolerance as part of some rapid evolution. Ever think of that?" -Agt. Mendoza

"God damn it, that's not how it works, Jason!" -R. Hadid
2L
Researcher Hadid supplied himself with two liters of tea, infused with the aforementioned strain. Researcher Hadid initially reported that the effects were taking longer than usual to manifest, despite his relatively low tolerance. Once the perception altering effects manifested, however, Researcher Hadid hallucinated that he was in a potentially infinite white void, occupied solely by a female humanoid entity. He approached the entity, who turned to face him and shouted, apparently causing Researcher Hadid to vomit and abruptly end the hallucination.
"Son of a bitch." -R. Hadid

While Researcher Hadid was unable to glean significant data from the brief experimental trial, he did confirm that anomalous activity was presently affecting marijuana. Over the course of the ensuing three days, Researcher Hadid cultivated a modified strain of marijuana comprised of the five modified strains used during the trial. Using accelerated growth hormones, Researcher Hadid grew and treated a unique strain of marijuana and returned to the testing chamber to document its effects on himself. The following video footage was recovered after the incident on February 18th, 2025.

Foreword: It should be noted that, following his transformation, Researcher Hadid is speaking through the reflection, while SCP-7168-A is speaking in the physical world.

<Begin Log>

Researcher Hadid is sitting with his back against the wall of the testing chamber, inhaling 2267kg of marijuana over the course of four hours through a Klein bottle, retrofitted with a small access designed to hold ground up marijuana matter. Researcher Hadid produces a lighter from his pocket and lights the access port, exhaling before inhaling vapor. Researcher Hadid convulses briefly before retching, then regaining control.

Hadid: For the love of God, please. Just give me a single win, that's all I ask for.

Researcher Hadid remains sitting as the marijuana begins to take affect. He raises both hands up to his face slowly, turning them over and marveling at his surroundings. His mouth is agape as he stands and paces around the testing chamber, avoiding obstacles that cannot be observed by the camera. After several minutes of this activity, Hadid abruptly stops and stares upward.

Hadid: Woaaah. You're… beautiful!

Hadid doubles over, clutching his abdomen, as he begins to retch again. Before he can vomit, however, he undergoes several physiological changes rapidly. He grows an additional two meters in height and his arms elongate and alter pigmentation, changing from dark brown to light green. His hair lengthens and becomes iridescent while being affected by a breeze that is not present in the testing chamber. His eyes alter hue and begin to luminate green. At this point, Hadid physically resembles the female humanoid entity as described by Broadus. Hadid walks to a reflective surface in the test chamber and examines himself. Despite the physiological changes, Hadid's reflection is unaltered.

SCP-7168-A: What in the fuck do you think you're doing? I stopped you people from getting high for a reason. You really think that you can just steal my gifts and I'd, what, just roll over and be cool with that? Doesn't "Goddess" mean anything to anyone anymore?

Hadid: I made my own strain. Who are you? Are you real?

SCP-7168-A: (Sighs) What is it going to take to get a little respect around here? Thousands of years making everyone happy and not a single "Praise Reefer the All Loving" or even a fucking "thanks Reefer, you really are the bees tits". Fuck you.

Hadid: I'm… okay, I'm sorry. (He laughs) Your name's Reefer? What are you, some kinda… weed goddess?

SCP-7168-A: (Crosses its arms) I am THE weed goddess, fuck you very much. And I'm tired of being treated like an old toy you play with a few times and then throw away. If you aren't gonna recognize all the hard work I do maintaining an, and let me emphasize here, entire planet's worth of stoners, then you don't get to be stoners anymore. Understand that you little ungrateful asshole kleptomaniac piece of shit. You know what you're doing is illegal, right? It's blatant intellectual theft.

Hadid: I didn't know, fuck, I didn't know. I'm sorry Reefer. I love you.

SCP-7168-A: Oh my god, do you really think you can make up for this with sex?

Hadid: What?

SCP-7168-A: …What?

Hadid: Huh?

SCP-7168-A: You mean you didn't do all of this to try and fuck me?

Hadid: No, what? I just wanted to get high— I mean, the world is in ruin now because of the drug problem. It's been weeks, Reefer. Weeeks. Kingpins are going apeshit, as are their customers. There's a revolt going on in France, again! The Canadian weed market has crashed and they're in economic ruin! Riots, looting, society is breaking down on a macroscopic level and on top of it all I'm about to be head of the S.T.O.N.E.R. Division at my job, and I cannot do that sober.

SCP-7168-A: Oh. Sorry. Actually, no I'm not. Fuck your job, fuck your species. That all sounds like a personal problem. Why should I go out of my way to help you when no one has done anything for me? How much longer do I have to stick my neck out for absolutely nothing in return?

Hadid: You want… you want to get paid? I can pay. I'd love nothing more than to pay you for your services.

SCP-7168-A: No you smooth-brained jackass, I don't want to get paid. Also, gross. Can't you read subtext?

Hadid: I'm a little out of it.

SCP-7168-A: I just want to be loved again. People have forgotten that I even exist. You just smoke and eat hot chips and lie. There's no ritual behind it anymore. Israelites used to burn ganja thousands of years ago during ritualistic worship at their temples to commune with me. The Mayans used to smoke every third moon to maintain a relationship with me. The Rastafarians once revered me, and Ronald Reagan once feared me. I mattered.

Hadid: That's incredible. You're incredible. You matter to me.

SCP-7168-A: Do you know how many people have done exactly what you're doing now? Assuming my form and tripping hella balls? You aren't the first, but you'll probably be the last.

Hadid: But whhhyyy?

SCP-7168-A: Because.

Hadid: 'cause?

SCP-7168-A: Because I'm tired of the bullshit.

SCP-7168-A sits cross legged, facing away from Researcher Hadid.

Hadid: Reefer, don't be mad. Please. I just want to help.

SCP-7168-A: Do you really want to help or do you just want to get high again?

Hadid: Can't it be both?

SCP-7168-A: You're unbelievable!

Hadid: (Holding up hands) Woah, okay. Okay. I'm just, give me a sec to sober up a little.

Silence for several seconds.

Hadid: Look, Reefer. I can't apologize for what everyone before me has done, or how people in the past have treated you. You're the weed goddess, and you should be treated like a goddess. I love what you've done, and I really, really appreciate the thankless work you do behind the scenes. Can you please let people get high again without resorting to this extreme?

SCP-7168-A: Is that sarcasm?

Hadid: I am stoned out of my mind.

SCP-7168-A: (She sighs) I guess not. Okay, look, whoever you are, I'll give my gifts back on the condition that you let me do a little "retconning". Your intellectual theft has given me a genius idea, and I'm hoping whatever powers that be down in your plane of existence will help me out.

Hadid: (Retching) Anything for you, Reefer, I love you.

SCP-7168-A: Don't make it weird, dude.

<End Log>

Researcher Hadid vomited following the conclusion of the log, and the expected effects of marijuana began to remanifest across the continental United States. SCP-7168 is pending "Explained" classification at the time of writing.

An additional property of non-anomalous marijuana strains has manifested following Researcher Hadid's interaction with SCP-7168-A. Individuals who ingest or inhale non-anomalous marijuana will invariably worship a deity of unknown religion known as "Reefer". Observed worshiping rituals have so far included the additional consumption of marijuana followed by praise to the aforementioned deity for their service. This behavior can be attributed to the perception-altering effects of marijuana. That explanation has already been accepted by the civilian population, and due to this phenomenon posing no risk to breaking the Veil of Secrecy, SCP classification has been deemed unnecessary.

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