Item No: SCP-7156
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7156 is to be kept in a standard containment chamber at Section 197 at Site-UA-80. Access to experiments with SCP-7156 is possible with the permission of an employee with the third or higher level of clearance. SCP-7156 is only allowed to be read by D-Class personnel who are test subjects. All SCP-7156-2 are to be monitored for the duration of the SCP-7156-1 effect. Currently, the physical existence of SCP-7156-0 is considered impossible. MTF "Legend Makers" is to monitor mentions of SCP-7156-0 on the Internet and check them for signs of the existence of duplicates of SCP-7156.
Description: SCP-7156 is a copy of Martin Gardner's book "The Null-Party Professor" in Ukrainian. The cover of SCP-7156 reads "██████ █████". The text of the book is found to contain ██ grammatical errors, also instead of the Ukrainian letter "є" it uses the symbol "€".
SCP-7156-1 is an anomalous effect that occurs in a subject who reads at least 80% of SCP-7156; a subject exposed to SCP-7156-1 is hereinafter referred to as SCP-7156-2. Under the influence of the SCP-7156-1 effect, the subject of SCP-7156-2 becomes obsessed with the idea of assembling a surface that has zero (0) sides, and is hereinafter referred to as SCP-7156-0. Some subjects of SCP-7156-2 report that they "have a hard time imagining what SCP-7156-0 should look like and how it can be done." In approximately 90% of cases, the effect of SCP-7156-1 is manifested in the fact that the subject of SCP-7156-2 will attempt to create SCP-7156-0 from paper, cloth and other materials, or justify the theoretical possibility of creating SCP-7156-0. In approximately 10% of cases, the subject of SCP-7156-2 will attempt to prove the impossibility of the creation and existence of SCP-7156-0.
It has also been observed that after being exposed to SCP-7156-1, subjects of SCP-7156-2 acquire knowledge of the existence and feasibility of creating surfaces such as the Möbius Strip, the Klein Bottle, and the Projected Plane. SCP-7156-2 is sometimes referred to as SCP-7156-0 as "Slyapinarski's Sheet", where Professor Slyapinarski (hereinafter referred to as SCP-7156-W) is the protagonist of the story "The Null-Sided Professor", who, according to the text of SCP-7156, discovered and first created SCP-7156-0. It has also been observed that some subjects of SCP-7156-2, under the influence of SCP-7156-1, attempt to clarify or correct the definitions of terms such as "surface", "surface side" and "number of sides".
Tests show that the effect of SCP-7156-1 lasts for 7 to 10 days, after which disappears may disappear or go into a latent phase (see Incident INC-079-000X). Treatment of SCP-7156-2 with Class-A amnestics with the erasure of any information about SCP-7156 will result in the premature complete cessation of the effect of SCP-7156-1.
Below are the protocols of selected experiments with SCP-7156.
Supervisor: Researcher Zubova.
Subject: D-92835, female, 20 years old, Foundation Math Level 12 out of 100.
Procedure: D-92835 was ordered to read SCP-7156. D-92835 was provided with a pack of 50 sheets of A4 paper, scissors, pencils, a ruler and glue. An hour after the start of the experiment, the following interview was conducted with D-92835.
[Interview Starts]
Researcher Zubova: Hello, D-92835. Please tell me what you are doing now.
D-92835: (Next to D-92835 there are many sheets, cut, painted and pasted in various ways. D-92835 is spinning two pieces of paper in his hands.) I'm trying to glue it together… just like at school! Doctor, I can't. Help. Will this task be credited to me if you help me?
researcher Zubova: What do you need help with?
D-92835: //(Points to two pieces of paper) Glue this together.
Researcher Zubova: What exactly is it?
D-92835: Well, (D-92835 shakes a piece of paper, then puts it down, and pulls out a sheet of paper on which, apparently, Subject D-92835 tried to depict SCP-7156-0) as him, Professor… how is it there… not Moebius, but his. Well, that's it.
Researcher Zubova: D-92835, you say you're trying to make a professor out of paper?
D-92835: Doctor, I didn't do well in school. Can you help me? You remind me of my math teacher…
Researcher Zubova: D-92835, don't get distracted. What do you need help with? If you can't directly answer what exactly you need help, then try to tell what you read in SCP-7156.
D-92835: Scipe-7156 — is that what you call your algebra? Oh well. Doctor, Doc… Can I call you that, well, I read that there are figures that have one side. Not a side, as in a triangle, but as in a normal sheet, at a rectangle. Or a carpet. Two sides. These are the sides of which the rectangle has two, not four. One at the top, the other at the bottom. Here, I remember something. Well… Dock… If you flip the rectangle and glue the top and bottom, then there will be only one side of the rectangle. This glued rectangle is called the Möbius Strip — it was the scientist who first discovered this Strip. And you can also glue it so that it has zero sides, a Sheet of Slaps… Sla-pi-nar-go-go was also the scientist who was the first to calculate it. Or maybe zero, doc, if zero is also a number, then why don't we count from zero? Zero years, one year, two years…
Researcher Zubova: Nice, D-92835. Do you think that a sheet with zero sides can be made?
D-92835: Yes. Doc, I always didn't understand geometry, but I can see it. Imagine. Möbius strips, glued Klein bottles with one side and this associate professor Slapinarski, I even remember his name - with zero sides. You just need to… That's it… No, I don't understand. Help me, Doc!
n.s. Zubova: If you imagine it - a sheet with zero sides - then which side of it are you looking at?
D-92835: (Silent, then clasps his head in his hands) I… I don't understand.
[End of interview]
//Note: Over the next 7 days, D-92835 attempted to fold SCP-7156-0, once tearing her D-Class uniform and using its cloth as material to attempt to create SCP-7156-0. On the eighth day, the effect of SCP-7156-1 ceased to work.
Supervisor: Researcher Zubova.
Subject: D-33859, male, 29 years old, Foundation Math Level 35 out of 100. D-47662, male, 31 years old, Foundation Math Level 39 out of 100.
Experiment Progress: D-33859 and D-47662 were ordered to read SCP-7156. After that, researcher Zubova conducted the following interview with them.
[Interview Starts]
Researcher Zubova: Hello, D-33859 and D-47662. Please tell us about what you have just read.
D-33859: Nonsense! Zero-sided surface! I knew that moving away from the principles of materialism and realism would not end well! It's all Einstein with the false theory of relativity and quantum mechanics. And Cantor with his infinite sets! Do you know that his Cantor's theorem is a lie? And now this charlatan Slapenarsky! You know that if a segment consisted of an infinite number of parts, then its length would be infinite. But all modern geometry is based on this! Science has lost touch with reality! That's why surfaces with zero sides appear there!
D-47662: My new math states that there are three types of numbers. The positive ones are the ones that affirm reality, the negative ones are the ones that affirm non-being, and the neutral ones are zero. If the sheet of paper is neutral, then you can make it so that it has zero sides. I knew, I knew… and they blocked me from the [REDACTED] forum.
D-33859: Another one! There is only one type of number — natural numbers. Time. There can be no zero — two, this is the idealist speculation of bourgeois religious pseudo-scientists.
D-47662: Stranglers of scientific thought, conservatives won't stop me, they will take a very long time…
Zubova: Yes, be silent, calm, calm. D-33859, you claim that zero does not exist. Interesting. Justify your point of view. For example, how many pencils do I have in my hand? (Shows an open empty palm)//. Less than one?
D-33859: But there are always the smallest parts somewhere — atoms, electrons, or more elementary ones. Therefore, you probably have atoms of pencils or some other part in your hand. Not zero exactly. The same doc - when multiplied by zero, the number completely disappears, and in nature nothing disappears without a trace. Therefore, zero does not exist, it is religious nonsense from those reactionaries who wants to drag science into the Middle Ages.
D-47662: No, zero is the hyperdimensional beginning of the universe, from which it sprouts in two opposite directions — positive, good, creative, which corresponds to matter, white magic, and life, and negative, evil, destructive, which corresponds to antimatter, black magic, and death. Aristotle taught this, and he studied in Atlantis…
D-33859: A lie from a bourgeois apologist for religion! In the ancient world, when naturalistic, materialistic views prevailed, zero was not even recognized as a number. The Romans had no designation for it. Zero was first introduced by the Jesuit Descartes.
D-47662: … Therefore, a surface that immediately solidifies and collapses has zero sides. Oh, I also know how to create a surface that has one and a half sides, but I won't tell you. This is my patented method.
Researcher Zubova: It's all some kind of nonsense.
[End of interview]
Addendum 079-W0
██.██.████ with the permission of three Level 4 UA-80 personnel, an experiment was conducted with Dr. H█████████ as a test subject (see Experiment Log E079-27), with a Foundation Level 99 out of 100 level of mathematical reasoning. Dr. H██████████ read SCP-7156, after which he and his assistant, researcher Savelyev (the level of development of scientific thinking of researcher Savelyev on the Foundation scale is 88 out of 100), were isolated and under constant supervision for 8 days. During this time, Dr. H█████████ and his assistant wrote a scientific paper entitled TEXT-079-00-MX, in which he provides several definitions of the terms "surface", "surface side" and "number of surface sides", and argues that it is impossible to construct a surface with zero sides in ███ ordinary space, and provides a strong reasoning that surfaces with zero sides are impossible in ██ known types of anomalous space. Access to document TEXT-079-00-MX is possible upon request from Dr. Leonov.
I propose to consider SCP-7156-0 impossible, and to stop all experiments with attempts to create it.
- Request from Dr. H████████.
I agree.
Experiment E079-27 is believed to be the cause of Incident INC-079-000X, which is summarized below:
Incident INC-079-000X
On ██/██/█████, Dr. H█████████ was spotted in Section ███ of Site-UA-80, where SCP-[REDACTED] associated with a poorly understood form of spatial curvature was contained. Below is an abbreviated record of the following events, reproduced on the basis of data obtained from surveillance cameras and based on the interrogation of eyewitnesses:
██:██ - Dr. X████████ enters SCP-[REDACTED] containment chamber with forged clearance.
██:██ - Dr. H██████████ interviews with the personnel in the containment room and carries out scheduled maintenance. Dr. H██████████ demonstrates to staff a forged order to conduct an experiment with SCP-[REDACTED], claiming to be O5-██.
██:██ - Dr. H████████ accesses the [REDACTED] control panel. Meanwhile, employee █████, who doubts the validity of the experiment order, calls the Director of Site-UA-80.
██:██ - Site Director UA-80 confirms that no experiments with SCP-[REDACTED] have been planned, orders employee █████ to remain in place, and dispatches an armed MTF squad to Section ███.
██:██ - Site Director UA-80 contacts Section 197, Researcher Savelyev. N.S. Savelyev reports that Dr. H████████ left his workplace ██ minutes ago without explanation.
██:██ - Dr. H████████ is causing a breach of SCP-[REDACTED]. Other staff leave the containment room.
██:██ - Researcher Savelyev leaves his office and travels to Section ███.
██:██ - ██:██ at A surveillance camera installed in SCP-[REDACTED] containment chamber shows Dr. X████████ pulling out a paper figure shaped like a five-pointed star, and begins to fold, then takes off his clothes, and begins to make movements with his arms and legs. Due to the curvature of space, the image becomes more and more blurry.
██:██ - Dr. H████████████ is completely invisible.
██:██ - MTF squad reaches SCP-███-UA's containment chamber.
██:██ - Containment conditions restored to SCP-[REDACTED]. The surveillance camera is operational, showing a clear image of the containment chamber SCP-[REDACTED]. Dr. H█████████ is not visible in footnote. MTF Squad begins searching for Dr. H████████.
██:██ - Researcher Savelyev arrives at SCP-[REDACTED] to help locate Dr. H████████. The squad leader allows him to enter the cell.
██:██ - Researcher Savelyev, after inspecting the cell, begins to shout, "He could! Happened! It's still possible!"
██:██ - Dr. H████████ is found in the [REDACTED] cabinet with a lump of paper.
Subsequent interrogation of Dr. H█████████ revealed that he had no recollection of the events of the last █ days prior to the incident and his participation in Experiment E079-27, and a medical examination revealed that he had █ joint dislocations. Dr. H█████████ was administered amnestics and transferred to another Section after treatment. A search of his workplace revealed that he was in possession of a notebook with mathematical symbols and drawings, which appear to have been attempts to develop a method for assembling SCP-7156-0. References to some anomalous objects, including SCP-[REDACTED], have been found on some pages. On the last page was the text:
I'm sorry, I need to try.
Interrogation of Researcher Savelyev revealed that he knew that Dr. H█████████ continued to inquire about the possibility of assembling SCP-7156-0, and even mentioned in a conversation with Researcher Savelyev that the null-sided surface of SCP-7156-0 could possibly be created by using SCP-[REDACTED]. It has been established that Savelyev considered this to be a purely scientific interest, and was unaware of Dr. H█████████'s intentions to gain unauthorized access to SCP-███-UA. Researcher Savelyev also expressed doubts about the impossibility of the existence of SCP-7156-0. After the interrogation, the researcher Savelyev was allowed to remain in his post, but he was placed under increased care indefinitely. On ██/██/█████, the first proposals for experiments were submitted which are designed to test the possibility of the long-term effect of SCP-7156-1 and its transfer between subjects.
