Foreword: Following reports of feeling "like a geezer", the entity expired from natural causes during its second week in Foundation custody. Although Dr. Mendoza initially reported SCP-7097 as neutralized, hidden recorders in the garbage disposal later detected the entity conversing with the Site Janitor.
[Audio Only Log, 19:29 hours]
SCP-7097: -And would it kill these eggheads to use my name once in a while? I'm getting real sick of being called "7097" as if I'm a prison inmate!
Site Janitor: Yeah, there’s this one researcher who always calls me "Site Janitor" instead of Gerald, and she’ll snap her fingers to order me around like I'm a dog or somethin'. Just 'cause I don't have a lab coat doesn't mean I'm a slave, you know?
SCP-7097: Mendoza, right?
Site Janitor: Well, uh-
SCP-7097: Don't listen to her; you're not any less than that harpy no matter what she says.
SCP-7097 [hushed]: And you wanna know something about Dr. Mendoza? She acts all high and mighty, but she's got the most disgusting gas in this whole place. No joke, I can smell it from a mile away even with perfumes all over my damn room! I'm literally next to a dumpster right now and it smells better than her after Taco Tuesday.
Closing Statement: SCP-7097 is successfully re-contained. The Site Janitor is reassigned to sanitization of the Sector Three cockroach farm, per the orders of Dr. Mendoza.
Researcher's Note: It appears SCP-7097 can come back from the dead. We can rule out anomalous reanimation since the original entity was fully incinerated, and the new iteration of SCP-7097 is approximately one millimeter larger.
For the time being, at least two live female Drosophila specimens must be kept in jars near the entity's cell.
-Dr. Mendoza
Foreword: Dr. Mendoza attempts to interview SCP-7097. After enlisting the help of Dr. Kelly, the entity provides information on its abilities and origin.
[Video & Audio Log, 11:23 hours]
Dr. Mendoza enters SCP-7097’s cell.
Dr. Mendoza: SCP-7097-
SCP-7097: Call me Cassidy!
Dr. Mendoza: [rubbing eyelids] For the fourth time, the answer is no.
SCP-7097: Then buzz off.
Dr. Mendoza: We have vital questions about your previous containment breach, SCP-7097.
Dr. Mendoza pulls out a questionnaire form and slides it toward the entity.
SCP-7097 "rolls" its compound eyes.
Dr. Mendoza: [inaudible grumbling] -Damn sorority fly…
Dr. Grace Kelly sedating Drosophila specimens.
Dr. Mendoza leaves the room, and Dr. Kelly enters a minute later. She is carrying a package.
Dr. Kelly: Hey Cassidy! I brought you something good this time!
SCP-7097: Grace! Good to see you again! That ruby necklace is just gorgeous.
Dr. Kelly: Aw, thanks. You’re the only one who ever notices.
SCP-7097: So, what did you bring today?
Dr. Kelly: It’s a movie where- [Dr. Kelly summarizes "The Notebook."]
SCP-7097: Sounds great! Also, [lowers voice] you’re not gonna believe what Marnie’s been doing on her “smoke break.”
SCP-7097 and Dr. Kelly both watch “The Notebook” and exchange information about Foundation staff members.
Dr. Kelly: Well, it’s been fun, but I should get going.
SCP-7097: Wait, let’s play truth or dare first!
Dr. Kelly: I don’t know, you’re always so good at those games…
SCP-7097: Look, I’ll let you have the first move. Sounds good?
Dr. Kelly: Well, if you say so. Truth or dare?
SCP-7097: Dare!
Dr. Kelly reveals Dr. Mendoza’s questionnaire form.
Dr. Kelly: I dare you to fill this out, with accurate information.
SCP-7097: Boo! Why are you helping captain buzzkill?
Dr. Kelly: Sorry Cassidy, but I still have a job to do.
Dr. Kelly smiles mischievously.
Dr. Kelly: And you want it to be my turn next, don’t you?
Closing Statement: SCP-7097 filled out the questionnaire, though its answers were unsatisfactory. Afterward, Dr. Kelly selected “truth” and was compelled to give personal information which has been excluded from this document, per her request.
The following is a transcript of SCP-7097’s questionnaire form, filled out via dictation:
How do you inhabit new Drosophila instances?
Dunno. I die, and then I feel myself floating, no, searching. Then I wake up, and I’m in another body.
Is there a limit to your aforementioned ability? If so, what is the limit?
I can’t live in a guy fly, since that would be icky. Other than that sky’s the limit, I guess.
How long have you existed?
Eleven months. My first birthday is coming up!
Who created you?
Bunch of nerds like you.
Why did your creator(s) make you?
No response.
What are you?
A failure.
