This designation, SCP-7079, does / does not exist.
Do not edit this file or change its location. The slot and described text are placeholders that exist purely for parity checking and internal systems analysis for edge-case anomalies of a distinct variety. Not only is there no reason to edit the file (as no personnel are assigned to this designation), this document is a template, and in all likelihood, any references to this designation found elsewhere are erroneous, with the described anomaly being similarly nonexistent.
ON THE NATURE OF CONTAINMENT IN REGARDS TO AN ANOMALY THAT COULD BE SCP-7079: SCP-7079 does or does not exist. Containment procedures and descriptors/identifiers with certain terms listed in reference to an anomalous designation of this type may or may not hypothetically reinforce the continued existence of the anomaly in question, which does or does not exist. It may or may not be necessary to interject any potentially certain statement regarding SCP-7079's assigned anomaly, whatever it may be, were it to exist, with diluting or vagueifying statements. Due to the possible nature of this so-called anomaly, the presence of such statements may or may not be indicative of the existence of said nebulous "anomalous designation", which can and cannot be meaningfully confirmed.1
This document is to be kept as a placeholder in the slot for which it was chosen, and must not deviate from this distinction at any time.23
SPECIFICATIONS AND EXPLANATIONS, OF SORTS: SCP-7079 does or does not exist. If it were to exist, which is unknown at this time, it would likely4 be an anomaly focused on a probabilistic or non-probabilistic effect triggered by some vector perhaps implied to be present in the standard formatting and flow of an """"SCP Document"""", necessitating atypical semantics to avoid such things.5 Despite this, it is unknown if it is known if any such effects have been confirmed to a satisfactory degree at time of writing. It is only known what may or may not be acceptable verbiage, and the degree by which this is known to be true is unknown. Thus, this particular choice of language or any others encountered throughout the document are none or more of the following:
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| YEP, STILL BLANK |
CONTAINMENT STATUS: ⚠️ CONTAINED
ADDENDUM 7079-1: EXPERIMENTAL DATA OR EXTRANEOUS NOISE
NOTE: SCP-7079 and its related phenomena may or may not have been subjected to a series of cross-tests with SCP-2719. Honestly, I don't know what this section is doing here; seems unlikely that we'd ever approve this kind of testing and even so, would you actually believe it?
| Pointer | Outcome |
|---|---|
| SCP-2719's containment area | Was inside. |
| SCP-7079 | Went inside. Or didn't. |
| SCP-7079's existence | Went inside. |
| Chest tightening | Became inside. |
| Shortness of breath | Went inside. Inside distressed. |
| Intrusive thoughts about mistakes made in high school | Went inside. Inside dies. |
| A stranger | Went inside. |
| Inside | Became inside. |
| Spiraling | Went inside. |
| Someone who isn't me | Went outside. |
| Agoraphobia | Went inside. |
| SCP-7079's existence | Became inside. |
| Universal fear about the stability of the human race as a whole | Became inside. |
| External factors | Went inside. |
| Anxiolytic | Went inside. |
| A second stranger | Was outside. |
| Anxiolytic | Went inside. |
| Anxiolytic | Went inside. |
| Anxiolytic | Went inside. |
| Worries | Went outside. |
DISCOVERY OR LACK THEREOF: SCP-7079 may not exist, and if that is the case, a fact which probably remains unknown and unlikely to be determined, this section would be completely useless because, as stated, SCP-7079 may not exist. It might, though. It might not, but it might.
If it were to exist, which is an irrelevant hypothetical considering it can/cannot and will/will not be known, to you or to anyone and you and everyone, it could be suspected to have not been discovered at all, or perhaps been discovered by personnel of atypical configuration, necessitating this document be conveyed in its current form.
That's my cue.
The grounds of Synecdoche (Research Station Synecdoche, but you can just call it Synecdoche) are not like your typical Foundation site. Or at least, so I've heard. I don't know what a "typical Foundation site" is, even though I've seen many. You'd be surprised.
While I could try to explain how the inner chambers of Synecdoche turn inwards like spirals, I will not. I could mention that the floors are made of logical swiss cheese, that is to say they possess more logical gaps than your swiss cheese has holes, yet I refuse. Such trivialities serve no purpose to anyone other than Surrealistics, and even that much cannot be said. Purpose, a fickle thing, is not found on agnostics. Surrealistics don't need it. We only need Perspective, and separation from these things creates Perspective.
This day was the first in a long while I'd left Synecdoche, that spiral-room-cheese-floor secure site. It's comfier than you'd think, especially with Fourfold as the primary alternative. It's like the Four Seasons. I presume. Never been, but that's never stopped me from envisioning a hotel containing all four seasons. Seems pretty neat.
Anyway, I'd been assigned a mission, and that's why I am here. "Here", being not "there", Synecdoche, being not "elsewhere", elsewhere. I was sent "here" to recover an agent from "elsewhere" and am relaying this info to "here", you, not "there" or "elsewhere". It's all rather jarring, but given that jarring is quite common and inoffensive to Surrealistics, it was a comforting feeling. Besides, it's not every day you get to meet an agent that doesn't exist. Or, at least, didn't exist. What do you call something that doesn't not exist, but also can't be labelled as existent? I called this one a Deletions agent. N/A, actually. Personnel file says their name is N/A. Pretty unique, don't you think?
It's not every day you get to meet an agent that doesn't not not exist. It's a little known fact that the only thing separating Nonexistence from Existence is a healthy dose of realistic logical realism. Surrealistics lack that sort of compass entirely. We're not exactly known to work with other departments, and certainly don't mesh well with departments like Deletions. We just bump into each other's non-logical/non-non-existent shoulders on occasion, spilling whatever we're handling at the time, all over the good rug. It's always right underneath, that rug. I don't know why, but it is, and it has seen better days, my friends.
Still, it's not every day you get to meet an agent that doesn't not not not exist. If only I could find this agent. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I did find traces. They're coded, either too logically for a Surrealistic or far too nonsensically for me to parse them out. It was a reasonable and noble attempt at communication. But this crossroads is far greater an impasse than either of us knew. See for yourself. In fact, I'll join you.
| M | A | K | E | I | T | S | T | O | P | . | |||
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who are you?
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The Ethics Committee would just like to say you're doing a great job n' all, but it also doesn't understand what purpose it serves being here. Please explain why The Ethics Committee is here and why it has thoughts that are not its own.
Please.
Hmmm. Just ignore that. I don't think it matters.
On the other hand, this seems like it matters, but I'm not one for gauging the matter of various matters, and that's what's the matter. You know?
| S | H | A | M | E |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| D | R | I | F | T |
| V | O | U | G | Z |
| P | L | Y | B | W |
| K | N | Q | C | X |
| A | T | O | N | E |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| F | K | D | U | P |
| B | R | H | M | W |
| L | I | V | G | Q |
| Z | Y | C | S | X |
ADDENDUM 7079-2: INTERPRETIVE ANTISTENOGRAPHICS(?)
Steadfast will. Conchord grapes. Parsnip. Ischemia. Surface waves. NO Time like the present. Aromatics. Fortitude. Independent Living. Egregore. Gone home. Ordinary. Ostrich. Delaware. Tank top. Rumination. Yogurt. Threadbare. Homebound. Ornithon. Umpire. General Hamesthetics.1011
Just a reminder: SCP-7079 does or does not exist. If it did exist, which is unknowable, probably, The Ethics Committee would ask what it was up to next Friday. SCP-7079 would probably be a model and would most likely say yes to seeing a movie, because The Ethics Committee cleans up real nice.
…
Oh. These don't seem even remotely relevant, I can't comprehend most this stuff, anyway. We should keep moving.
Ah, there you are.
Shit. I don't think we're getting through. Where did the rest of the transcript go?
Hm. You don't happen to have level seven clearance, do you? Wait, seven?
ENTER LEVEL VII CREDENTIALS TO PROCEED
END OF FILE