SCP-7066

Item #: SCP-7066

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment: SCP-7066 is stored in a standard low-priority anomalous item locker at Site-19. Testing has been discontinued indefinitely by a majority vote of the Ethics Committee.

Description: SCP-7066 is an anomalous Blu-ray DVD copy of the sixth season of The Simpsons, an animated sitcom created by American cartoonist Matt Groening.

Individuals who view SCP-7066 will soon become subject to a myriad of unusual and highly distressing anomalous phenomena, culminating in their transformation into an instance of SCP-7066-1. This most often occurs as follows:

  • 3-5 days after completion: Subject begins to exhibit significant behavioral changes, with a particular proclivity towards indolence, alcoholism, and uncharacteristic ineptitude.
  • 5-10 days after completion: First signs of physical abnormalities. Rapid hair loss typically occurs at this stage. Subject’s skin will begin to discolor. Tumors resembling excess fat will begin to form throughout the subject's body.
  • 10-15 days after completion: Subject's legs will begin to atrophy under the weight of tumoral growths.
  • 15-20 days after completion: Subject will begin to undergo severe exophthalmos, disrupting sleeping patterns.
  • 1+ month after completion: Tumors spread to the subject’s entire body. Subject’s voice begins to deepen, with new oral cavities forming in the subject’s neck and torso to accommodate increased tumoral presence. Further progression of anomalous effects cease.

Investigations into SCP-7066’s origins are ongoing.

Discovery: SCP-7066 was retrieved from PU-ASX#623 on August 7th, 2047, as a part of a broader initiative by the Department of Applied Metaphysics to establish containment of dangerous anomalies in parallel realities with defunct or nonexistent SCP Foundations.

Of note, PU-ASX#623 was believed to have undergone a large-scale XK-Class “End of the World” scenario at some point1 prior to its discovery. However, the building in which SCP-7066 was discovered — an abandoned FOX2 recording studio in Los Angeles, California, showed signs of habitation mere days before discovery.

SCP-7066 was found playing in a concealed sub-basement of the building, along with over a dozen deceased instances of SCP-7066-1. A frayed Post-it note, attached to the VCR display, read as follows:

Need to iron out a few kinks, but this should be enough to hold us off — for now.

It’s been a rough sixty years, Matt, but we’ll weather this. We always do. I promise. Call me when you’re ready.

The show must go on.

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