• rating: +86+x

Item #: SCP-7052

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any information about SCP-7052 leaked to the public must be censored. In case of widespread leaks, misinformation about the dangers of SCP-7052 will be released. Found instances of SCP-7052-1 are to be monitored and, if displaying unusual or dangerous behavior, contained in standard humanoid cells at the closest Site. SCP-7052-1-16 needs to be recovered as soon as possible.

Description: SCP-7052 is the practice of inserting spoons in one's rectum. Although this action initially appears as irrational, it will result in numerous anomalous effects beneficial to the subject (hereinafter referred to as SCP-7052-1). These effects typically manifest within five to ten minutes after the insertion. The anomalies vary, although the following effects are always present:

  • Increased sexual attraction towards SCP-7052-1 affecting people of gender based on SCP-7052-1's sexual orientation1
  • Improvement of SCP-7052-1's physical and mental abilities
  • Sudden healing of SCP-7052-1's wounds, infections, and carcinomas
  • Various ontokinetic effects that result in the enhancement of luck in SCP-7052-1's life - such as higher probability of winning lotteries and other chance-based competitions
  • Improvement in mood

The intensity of these effects depends on the depth of the insertion, as well as the number and size of spoons inserted. The most intense effects, reported at 12 standard silverware spoons, had strong ontokinetic properties. This instance, referred to as SCP-7052-1-9, was formerly a D-class member known as D-952674 (see Addendum-2).

Addendum-1: List of known instances of SCP-7052-1 (excluding D-class personnel)

Date of discovery Location Note
07/08/2015 Moscow Monitored; a successful Russian wrestler
01/22/2016 Site-19 An adult film actress; contained due to apparent anomalies
11/19/2018 Site-19 A researcher at Site-19
11/20/2018 Site-19 A researcher at Site-19
09/15/2020 Portland, OR Monitored; an American bus driver
01/15/2022 Osaka Monitored; a Japanese billionaire
05/27/2022 Site-83 A criminal; contained
09/01/2022 UNKNOWN A former researcher at Site-19

Incident Iota

Subject: D-952674

Procedure: Experimentation with high-intensity SCP-7052

Results: D-952674 had to be terminated due to extreme anomalies.


Dr. Lorenz: You will enter this room. We will give you some privacy. In there you will find a box full of spoons. Your task is to insert as many of them as you can in your rectum.

D-952674 Oh. Of course, sure, okay, you're serious?

Dr. Lorenz: Yes. Please proceed.

[D-952674 enters the room for 40 minutes before emerging]

Dr. Lorenz: Oh what the hell?

Dr. Tawar: D-952674, please stop where you are!

[D-952674 is levitating a meter above the floor, multiple spoons are orbiting around him, his eyes are glowing and changing colors, and objects around him are being deformed and transformed]

D-952674: I have achieved godhood!

[D-952674 sends a spoon flying towards the two researchers, which misses and skims closely to Dr. Lorenz's ear; the door behind D-952674 breaks away from its frame]

Dr. Tawar: [in intercom] We need a response team at SGD-5 immediately!

Dr. Lorenz: How many spoons did you stick in your ass?!

[All electronic displays in the vicinity start showing the number 12]

D-952674: Just enough.

[D-952674 shoots two more spoons at Dr. Lorenz penetrating his abdomen]

Dr. Lorenz: Agh! Shit!

Dr. Tawar: Where's the fucking team?

[Dr. Tawar throws a chair in the direction of D-952674. Just before hitting D-952674, the chair transforms into a feather]

D-952674: You can't get me.

[Team of four heavily armed men enters the area and start shooting at D-952674 who seems unaffected by the bullets]

████████: What the fuck is this?

██████████: Move aside everyone!

[██████████ throws a hand grenade at D-952674. The explosion knocks D-952674 down to the ground]

██████████: Keep firing!

[A spray of bullets flies towards D-952674 until he is static and the ontokinesis disappears]

Incident Theta

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