SCP-6542
rating: +170+x
5/6542 LEVEL 5/6542
CLASSIFIED
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Item #: SCP-6542
PAGNUM

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SCP-6542, taken from its containment chamber inside of the Marzec Church in Zielonka, Poland.


SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: As SCP-6542 facilitates its own failed form of self-containment — still requiring intensive observations and proactive procedures from the Foundation — the Pagnum classification has been deemed appropriate. SCP-6542 is actively drained at a constant rate of 20,000 liters per hour. All contents derived from SCP-6542 must be processed in accordance with Document 6542-Alpha. Copies of said document may be retrieved freely at Area-120 from Rs. Laura Rains at any time.

In the event that human consumption of SCP-6542's contents is unsuccessful, the subsequent emergency procedures are to be enforced until such issues have been rectified.

EMERGENCY PROCEDURES: All personnel self-identifying as believers in the Christian faith must bathe themselves within SCP-6542 for no less than one hour. The anomaly itself must not remain unoccupied for longer than twelve minutes between bathing periods. Upon exiting, medical personnel are to clean and inspect each individual for any unusual properties such as stigmata.1


DESCRIPTION: SCP-6542 is a large white marble vat of anomalously preserved milk, located within the Marzec Church. Attempts to remove this milk from the container will not cause the overall volume of SCP-6542 to decrease. Analysis of the milk contained within reveals it to have originated from non-anomalous domestic sheep.

At seemingly random intervals, a human shadow will become visible within SCP-6542. Upon seeing this shadow, all individuals who self-identify as a member of a Christian denomination describe debilitating feelings of dread, anxiety, and guilt. Upon the further formation of this shadow, a lactoderm2 will begin forming across the surface of the milk. Testing has revealed that this lactoderm contains traces of human endometrial cells, and will increase in density until an individual practicing the Christian faith is submerged into SCP-6542 (refer to ADDENDUM 6542-3).

If allowed to cover the entire surface of the milk, the lactoderm will begin transmuting into cheese, which will continue unless a subject is submerged within.3 Should the entirety of the milk currently held within SCP-6542 be transmuted into cheese, a RAPTURE event will manifest. During this period, large quantities of non-anomalous milk, far exceeding the tub's volume, will flow from SCP-6542. RAPTURE events typically last 1-2 hours, with SCP-6542 releasing upwards of 300,000 liters of milk and/or cheese from within its container.

SCP-6542 was discovered in a routine scan for heterodox4 Christian practices in order to locate possible anomalous activity. The prevalence of lactic symbolism and the statistically significant low level of crime in Marzec prompted a deeper investigation. Containment of the anomaly was willingly surrendered to the Foundation after the Patriarchs of Rome and Byzantium declared the practices in Marzec heretical.


ADDENDUM 1: REPORT OF EYEWITNESS PARANORMAL EVENT
DATE: 1992/11/26
WRITTEN BY: Dr. Anderson Mackay
SUPPORTING: Rs. Markus Rains, Dr. Andrew Sinclair, Jr. Rs. Niles Gustom, et. al.
OVERVIEW

On 1992/11/14, Foundation satellites detected an unknown abnormality centralized within the Marzec Church. Local police were later dispatched alongside Foundation personnel to the scene of the event, which had already been overtaken by a RAPTURE event. A total of 123 casualties were recovered, 7 of which later expired due to related causes.

Interviews between several eyewitnesses have detailed the following series of chronological events that occurred both before and after the RAPTURE event. Such events would later spark the phenomenon's first active investigation.

TIMELINE OF EVENTS
-08:00 Internal emails sent to Marzec Church staff indicate that, due to scheduling complications, the monthly public baptisms will have to be delayed again for the third time since September. Concerns about the volume of the central baptism chamber are raised and quickly dismissed.
-3:12 The facility opens, and the first few civilians begin congregating within the outer hall. Members of the Church administration report hearing moans, bells, and chords emanating from the central stage, but cannot locate their source.
-1:25 Civilians are allowed within the central sanctuary. The crowds begin filling seats throughout the room. One member slips in an unknown material as he goes to sit, and cries weakly whilst laying in the fetal position. Interviews with the ministry leader indicate that the substance appeared to be molten cheese.
-0:22 Initial worship begins and ends. All members return to their seats as Father Anders walks onto the central stage. The crowd claps as he enters. Members of the stage crew note some disturbance on Father Anders's microphone as it records the faint voice of an unknown individual. No one else notices these disturbances.
-0:15 Members of the crowd complain of a foul yet intoxicating smell. Father Anders apologizes, briefly making a joke about a member flatulating, before Maintenance arrives once more to investigate. Father Anders continues his sermon.
-0:06 The top of the central monument begins to warp outwards. Several members take notice and vocalize concern to other staff, but Father Anders continues his speech. Maintenance is unable to locate nor prevent the source of the leaking.
-0:02 Milk begins flooding from more leaks and the now-present gaps at the top of the central monument. Father Anders notices and asks everyone to quickly retreat from the facility. While some members retreat, others fall to their knees and begin babbling incoherently.
0:00 The RAPTURE event begins. The lid of the central monument is ejected upwards, crashing into a nearby chandelier before impacting the central stage — damaging it severely. Milk is also ejected at a rate of 2,820m3/s. Several audience members are quickly swept away by the rushing milk and cheese curds, including Father Anders.
+0:08 The first few members of the Church are seen exiting the building. Milk has begun to fill the central chamber and outer halls, increasing in rate as it continues. The rushing currents of the fluid trap members along the walls of the facility. The milk now stands at a depth of nearly two meters. Glass begins shattering as lowered windows cannot take the pressure, leaking milk into the parking lot outside.
+0:11 Foundation forces are dispatched to the scene for cleanup and proper containment. A perimeter is made surrounding the Marzec Church as it continues to flood.
+0:45 The rate of flow begins to decrease. Outside drains begin overflowing from milk and cheese. Foundation members begin pumping out the milk to surrounding drainage to accommodate.
+1:12 The depth of milk seen within the Church decreases dramatically to 1.1 meters. No corpses are seen floating on the surface of the milk. Much of the congregation has vanished.
+1:22 De-escalation and amnesticiation protocols are initiated. Local authorities are removed from the premises as Foundation agents begin scrubbing documents of the Marzec Church's existence. Official containment begins.

ADDENDUM 2: OBSERVED CHANGES FOLLOWING RAPTURE EVENT
LEAD RESEARCHER: Rs. D. Odo
ASSISTING RESEARCHER: Dr. Lordan Xyon, Dir. Daniel Asheworth, et. al.

In the weeks following SCP-6542's first RAPTURE event, containment personnel within Provisional Site-6542 reported identical and unusual dreams. These dreams would later correspond to several observed changes in SCP-6542's behavior. Both are presented below in chronological order.

Descriptions of the dreams invariably and strongly resembled narrative structure and imagery from Bibles published in the native languages of the dreamers. The following English dream transcriptions resemble passages in the King James Version, published in 1611.

DATE 1992/11/15
DREAM

Upon such sights I witnessed that of the Son of Man, clothed with cheesecloth to his feet, and wrapped in a golden liquid. His head and hair were white as pulled mozzarella, firm like mascarpone, and his eyes a rippling whey. His feet smelled heavily of limburger, with his voice the sound of butter churning.

He had in his hand seven holes stolen from a wheel of swiss cheese. Escaping from his mouth was an unruly blade, and his face a rich-red sauce.

When I saw him, I fell before his feet as dead. He laid his right hand onto me and spoke "Be not afraid! I am the first and the last. I am He who lives beyond Death. Behold. I am alive forevermore, and I hold the cream of hell and heaven."

RESULTS Following reports of this dream, an unknown shadow began forming along the surface of SCP-6542. Shadows cast upon SCP-6542 are now widely recognized as a single masculine figure upon a wooden cross.
DATE 1992/11/16
DREAM

Before thee lay a throne set in heaven, which He sat upon; He who was gorgonzola and stiltson, who had obtained a brilliance about the throne, like a wheel of aged white cheddar. Before the throne there was a sea of cream, and surrounding the throne were four beasts full of eyes.

The first a lion, the second a cow, the third had a face like a woman, and the fourth a flying eagle. Each had several udders with six teats, and the beasts gave milk and honey to He who sat on the throne, who lives forever and ever.

RESULTS The overall volume of milk generated by SCP-6542 was observed to increase by approximately twenty-four times after the aforementioned dream was reported.
DATE 1992/11/17
DREAM You have abandoned your first love. Repent, and do your first work. Repent, and eat milk instead of meat. You copulate not to draw forth milk, but instead for pleasure. Wake up! Your souls are neither cold nor hot; I would wish you to be either, but since they are merely lukewarm, I can only taste a foul curdle in my mouth.
RESULTS All self-identified Christians in Marzec became physically nauseous upon eating meat.
DATE 1992/11/18
DREAM To the victor, I bestow the cheese of life, which comes from the paradise of God. To the victor, I shall provide some of my hidden milk, and will give him a magnificent ball of mozzarella, and upon that mozzarella, a new name will be written, which none can know but he who receives it. The victor, I will clothe in fresh cheesecloth. To the victor, I will give the right to sit at my table and gaze upon my galaxy.
RESULTS All self-identified Christians in Marzec expressed fanatical cravings for milk. Riots would later break out within Marzec's grocers following a shortage of purchasable milk. 12 Foundation personnel were injured.
DATE 1992/11/19
DREAM

We shall hunger nor thirst anymore. The sun shall not burn us. The lamb who flocks amidst the throne will provide and lead us unto living fountains of milk, and God shall wipe away all tears from our eyes.

He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He gives unto us the milk of the fountain, which gives unto us freely.

RESULTS The milk within SCP-6542 curdles entirely into cheese by sunrise the subsequent night, prompting immediate de-escalation by Foundation personnel to deter another RAPTURE event.

ADDENDUM 3: EXPLORATION OF NEWLY DISCOVERED SCP-6542 PHENOMENA

DATE: 1992/12/07

MTF ALPHA-33 MEMBERS:

  • ΑBASLOM: MTF Beta-7 "Paranaughts" (Spatial Ontokinetics)
  • CHAI: MTF Eta-7 "Maz Hatters" (Hazmat Protections)
  • DELTA: MTF Eta-77 "Spheres Within Spheres" (Tactical Theology)

FOREWORD: Following a drastic increase of both RAPTURE event frequencies and their potential threat to the Veil5 efforts to reduce or outright cease their manifestations were highly prioritized by Foundation researchers.

Following further investigation, it was revealed that once a subject6 was submerged within SCP-6542 prior to its RAPTURE event, the anomaly's effects were dampened or, in some cases, nullified entirely. Submergement into SCP-6542 likewise introduced newly discovered anomalous phenomena, which was later recorded by Provisional MTF Alpha-33 "Lactose Intolerant" whilst testing.

<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>

Camera recording begins with ABSALOM entering the dimensional space created by SCP-6542. Other members of Alpha-33 wait until ABSALOM signals that the dimension on the other side appears to be physically stable and contains breathable air. The remainder of Alpha-33 then enters.

Body camera footage shows a vast and blurry white abyss, though as more members of Alpha-33 enter, the footage quality improves, revealing a street. Buildings are situated along one side of the street. The closest is no taller than two stories, with sleek alabaster skyscrapers being somewhat visible in the distance.

On the other side of the street, there is a body of liquid that stretches beyond the camera's view. A pale, golden light in the sky tints the liquid the color of honey.

DELTA: Huh… dunno what I was expecting. It's all milk and honey.

ABSALOM activates a matter-analyzing device, pointing it at the body of water. CHAI pulls out an Akiva measuring device, and DELTA tests the ground while also pointing a laser sight at the skyscrapers. The ground is noticeably firm but malleable and springs back at the touch.

ABSALOM: According to my scanner here, that's not actually honey. Probably whey from the looks of it.

DELTA: [Offhand] So much for that, then.

CHAI: I'm getting nothing over here. Whole place is filled to the brim with Akiva.

ABSALOM: Understood. [Pause] DELTA, any results?

DELTA: Not really — everything's super inconsistent. Like, take those skyscrapers over there, for example. They should be anywhere between a hundred meters and twelve kilometers away, right? But really it's just a mirage; they don't actually exist.

DELTA clears his throat as he lightly stomps his boots into the ground, causing the surface to undulate.

DELTA: Anyway, our best bet is to head towards the city center, I think.

ABSALOM: Agreed.

Alpha-33 begins walking towards the skyscraper buildings. As they walk further, a large and expansive city becomes viewable. The buildings within have the architectural style of an ancient Roman tenement, with some appearing to ooze or jiggle like mozzarella. Alpha-33 intercepts a large road leading into the city, which they traverse to enter.

Alpha-33 proceeds forward. The buildings seen earlier still do not appear to change in perceived height. All three agents are heard making sounds of consternation and complaint.

ABSALOM: Chai, you ever deal with an infinite loop before?

CHAI: Once or twice. The trick with dimensions like these though is that once you realize it, they become a lot easier to escape from.

DELTA: Infinite dimension loops should be the least of our worries. Especially in a place like this, we need to be careful. None of you are trained in dealing with Covenants — especially not any dealing with akivic or tartarean entities.

They continue walking onwards. After several minutes, the street they're traversing terminates, leading to another sea of whey similar to the one seen previously.

ABSALOM: We're definitely looping.

DELTA: No, I don't think so. Everything still looks different.

He points across the sea of whey, indicating towards a large, white citadel situated beyond a series of hills. As the camera perspective shifts, a loud beep is heard faintly.

CHAI: Akiva levels increasing. Looks like something's approaching us?

ABSALOM: There.

An unknown male figure (hereby referreed to as SCP-6542-A) strides from across the sea of whey and towards Alpha-33, walking atop the liquid. As it approaches, the camera slowly begins distinguishing its features. From this perspective, SCP-6542-A can be seen wearing a white robe. Its skin is likewise white, with long, thick hair resembling shredded cheese.

SCP-6542-A: GREETINGS, MY CHILDREN! BE NOT AFRAID! THE SON OF MAN WELCOMES YOU!

A noticeable audio distortion is detected, presumably caused by the entity's voice disrupting the physical hardware of the recording device.

ABSALOM: Who are you?

SCP-6542-A: I GO BY MANY NAMES! HEIR OF DAVID AND SOLOMON! THE SON OF MAN! JESUS OF NAZARETH!

SCP-6542-A smiles, swinging its arms outwards.

SCP-6542-A: YOU'VE HAD A LONG JOURNEY! PLEASE, JOIN ME! SIT AT MY FATHER'S TABLE! LET US BREAK BREAD!

DELTA turns towards ABSALOM.

DELTA: We aren't actually going to listen to Cheesus over there, right?

CHAI: Why not? He might have something useful. We just have to be careful with any potential hazmat — remember our protocols.

ABSALOM: I agree — this might be our best chance to get information. And besides—

ABSALOM gestures at the street they entered from; it is now a dead end.

ABSALOM: Not like we have much of a choice here.

DELTA: I can't believe you're both taking the "BE NOT AFRAID" thing seriously.

ABSALOM: He's Jesus Christ. How bad could he be?

CHAI: To be fair, I don't think the Bible ever mentioned him being made out of cheese.

ABSALOM: It never said he was white either — stay on guard.

ABSALOM clears his throat, turning towards SCP-6542-A.

ABSALOM: We'll join you.

SCP-6542-A: EXCELLENT!

A hollowed wheel of parmesan spontaneously arises from beneath the pool of whey. As it manifests, SCP-6542-A gestures for Alpha-33 to sit inside. They eventually comply, sitting within the wheel before it begins sailing forward. SCP-6542-A walks alongside from the water's surface as it continues sailing, but does not speak until they have reached the citadel's shore.

Upon arrival, Alpha-33 is led from the sea of whey directly to the citadel's front entrance. After several minutes they arrive and enter inside. After passing a large corridor, the group is met with a table loosely resembling Da Vinci's 'The Last Supper.' Tapestries with religious imagery are likewise apparent throughout the citadel.

SCP-6542-A: MY CHILDREN, SIT! FEAST ON MY BUTTER AND DRINK MY WHEY! MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER IN MY FATHER'S KINGDOM AND FIND PEACE IN MY COVENANT!

SCP-6542-A pours a translucent white drink for each member of Alpha-33. Once finished, SCP-6542-A then locates clumps of butter shaped similarly to fish and gives one to each member. Alpha-33 does not move to eat or drink.

CHAI: So… uh, this covenant of yours?

SCP-6542-A: YES, MY COVENANT.

CHAI: What are you talking about when you say that?

SCP-6542-A: SURELY YOU ALREADY KNOW! IT IS MY PROMISE, FOR ALL WHO HEED MY WORDS! INCLUDING YOU, SAMUEL CHAI! FOLLOW ME, AND I SHALL GIVE UNTO YOU ETERNAL LIFE! YOU SHALT NOT PERISH NOR SUFFER AS YOU HAVE IN THIS LIFE!

CHAI: Sounds like you know a lot about my personal life.

SCP-6542-A: YES! FOR YOU ARE ALIVE IN ME! BY MY SACRIFICE, YOU ARE SAVED! FOR YOU HAVE LISTENED TO THE DREAMS I SENT YOU, AND MADE YOUR WAY BACK TO ME.

SCP-6542-A takes a swig of whey from its goblet. Its eyes roll back briefly. The whites of its eyes are the same color as its skin.

ABSALOM: What… what happened to you?

CHAI: Absalom—

SCP-6542-A: NO, I BID YOU SPEAK ALDRICH ABSALOM. WHAT AILS YOU SO?

ABSALOM: Excuse my bluntness, but I thought… I thought you went to Heaven? Like, you rose into Heaven on a cloud and sat at the right hand of the father and yadda yadda all of that… so how can you be here?

SCP-6542-A takes another swig of whey. When it lowers its cup, its eyes are more yellow. Its voice is significantly quieter.

SCP-6542-A: A TROUBLING STORY.

CHAI: What better way to share a story than over a meal?

SCP-6542-A: YET YOU HAVE NOT EATEN. [Pause] BUT VERY WELL, I WILL SHARE WITH YOU MY THOUGHTS.

It cuts a slice of butter and proceeds to chew momentarily.

SCP-6542-A: AFTER I LAY DEAD FROM MY SACRIFICE, I HAD FULLY INTENDED TO RETURN AND BRING ABOUT MY FATHER'S KINGDOM ON EARTH — JUST AS THE SCRIPTURES PROCLAIM. OUR WORLD HAS BEEN MADE IMPURE, SO UNWORTHY AND SINFUL. I WAS BORN TO BEAR THAT SIN AND FORGIVE MAN SO THAT THEY MAY JOIN MY FATHER.

ABSALOM: Yeah, yeah we know all that bit – they teach it every Sunday to children.

SCP-6542-A: THEY TEACH YOU FALSEHOODS. I AM HERE; I HAVE NOT STEPPED FOOT AGAIN UPON THE EARTH. DOING SO WOULD SURELY SIGNAL THE END TIMES. BUT HAVE HOPE! SUCH A DAY IS FAST APPROACHING!

DELTA: Horseshit.

SCP-6542-A: IT IS TRUE. BELIEVE ME!

DELTA: I don't.

ABSALOM and CHAI pause, staring at DELTA as SCP-6542-A chokes briefly on its stick of butter.

SCP-6542-A: … I FORGIVE YOU.

DELTA: What?

SCP-6542-A finishes eating its butter and drinks the last of its whey. Flakes of cheese fall from the surface of SCP-6542-A.

SCP-6542-A I SWORE TO RETURN WITHIN THE LIFETIMES OF THOSE WHO HEARD MY WORDS! YET AS I LAID IN MY TOMB AFTER MY DEATH ON THE CROSS, THREE SHEPHERDS SNUCK INTO MY COFFIN AND APPROACHED ME.

CHAI: Did you know who they were?

SCP-6542-A: I KNOW NOT. BUT UPON SEEING MY MORTAL COIL — FOR REASONS I CANNOT COMPREHEND — THEY SEALED ME AWAY IN SHEEP'S MILK.

ABSALOM: Okay… right, but what about the holy spirit and the return and ascent into heaven or whatever?

SCP-6542-A pauses.

SCP-6542-A: OH, YE OF LITTLE FAITH. [Pauses] YES, SAMUEL CHAI?

CHAI: Yeah, sorry, I just… so if you were stuck here, is that why you never came back? You sacrificed yourself to absolve your followers of sin, but never brought your kingdom of heaven on earth?

ABSALOM: Assuming you're telling the truth, that is.

SCP-6542-A: I HAVE LIVED FOR OVER TWO MILLENNIA, AND IN THAT TIME I HAVE BROUGHT MY FATHER'S KINGDOM INTO THIS PRISON. A KINGDOM WHICH MY FOLLOWERS CANNOT YET SEE, YET YOU CAN.

CHAI: I mean, yeah, I guess. It's quite a pretty kingdom too — I can't deny that.

SCP-6542-A: SAMUEL CHAI, YOU ARE KIND! THANK THE SINS OF MAN FOR THIS KINGDOM! FOR SINS CURDLE THE MILK AND FROM THAT I CAN BUILD THESE WONDERS.

CHAI: Oh. So what you're saying is…?

SCP-6542-A: THE SINS OF MAN, THEY ARE HERE! AND FROM SUCH SINS, I MUST REVEAL AN UNDENIABLE TRUTH.

Flecks of milky spittle fly from SCP-6542-A's mouth. He seems apoplectic with anger.

ABSALOM: What truth?

SCP-6542-A: YOU ARE FORGIVEN! AND I LOVE YOU, EVEN DURING MY ENTRAPMENT. ALL I REQUEST IS THAT YOU DRINK MY MILK! EAT OF MY BUTTER! FOR THAT IS HOW I MIGHT SHOW YOU THE WAY FROM MILKUTH TO CHEDDAR.

DELTA: … what?

SCP-6542-A: ALAS! WOE! HAS KABBALAH BEEN FORGOTTEN IN YOUR AGE? FROM THE KINGDOM TO THE CROWN!

CHAI: Oh — you mean Malkuth to Keter.

SCP-6542-A: YES… AS I SAID! MILKUTH TO CHEDDAR! DRINK FROM ME, AND YOU SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE! DRINK MY MILK, AND YOUR SINS SHALL DROWN AWAY! THAT IS ALL I ASK! THAT, AND FOR YOU TO SPREAD MY WORD TO OTHERS IN YOUR WORLD.

ABSALOM: We'll consider—

DELTA: Absolutely fucking not.

SCP-6542-A: MY CHILD—

DELTA: There's no way you're my personal savior. No way. I mean, come on, Kabbalah isn't even part of Christianity. And, really, "Milkuth" and "Cheddar"? No self-respecting rabbi would ever say something that absurd.

SCP-6542-A winces as DELTA speaks. Suddenly, the entity turns its head. SCP-6542-A's skin cracks as it moves. Beneath the cracking surface, tan skin is visible.

DELTA: What are you doing?

SCP-6542-A: TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK.

DELTA moves to stand but realizes he cannot. Panicked, ABSALOM and CHAI try to stand as well but begin sinking into the floor instead, which has become cottage cheese. They are buried to their knees.

The walls and floors fall away from around them. They are now standing atop a tall marble pillar. The clouds, far below, are dense and compact — illuminated by an unknown source of brown light.

SCP-6542-A: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU. EVERYTHING I'VE DONE. WHY WON'T YOU ACCEPT MY LOVE?

DELTA: You call this love?

SCP-6542-A extends its arms wide. Holes form in its brow of cheese; rivulets of blood spurt from it. Its hands likewise begin bleeding.

SCP-6542-A: YOU MUST SPREAD MY GOSPEL. TELL THEM THAT THEY MUST DRINK, BEFORE MY KINGDOM COMES. FOR MY WILL MUST BE DONE. ON EARTH, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.

Bodycam footage abruptly ceases, preventing further viewing.

<END TRANSCRIPT>

CONCLUDING STATEMENT: Alpha-33 was later retrieved from SCP-6542 with minor injuries.

Following Alpha-33's exploration into SCP-6542, a subsequent RAPTURE event caused little to no damage to Foundation operations.

Additionally, later investigations by Foundation theologians determined that all members of Alpha-33 had somehow been completely cleansed of sin. Members of Alpha-33 were unable to recall any events following the aforementioned log.


ADDENDUM 4: EMERGENCY MEETING

DATE: 1992/09/05

PARTICIPANTS:

  • O5-2
  • O5-4
  • O5-7
  • O5-10

FOREWORD: The following meeting was held after subsequent RAPTURE events were reportedly increasing in severity, frequency, and overall capacity. All other O5 Council members were unavailable.

<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>

O5-2: Is this really everyone?

O5-10: Looks like it.

O5-2: I… huh. I thought more of us would care about this. But fine, whatever.

O5-7: Well, all things considered, at least we've already absolved ourselves of sin, right?

O5-10: Do not talk about that, Seven.

O5-7: I'm just saying that we still have that going for us.

O5-4: Let's focus, everyone.

Silence.

O5-2: Okay. [Clears throat.] I'll just be up-front and re-iterate to the Council that SCP-6542 currently poses an insurmountable threat to the stability of the Veil and operations both inside and outside Poland.

O5-10: And what's the exact threat imposed here?

O5-2: Not sure, we don't have enough information for specific details. The best we can do is assume based on our recent projections — and right now those aren't looking so great.

O5-2 retrieves and begins shuffling through several sheets of paper.

O5-2: Our current methods for suppressing SCP-6542's anomalous effects are… inefficient. We have, at best, twelve more months before these RAPTURE events begin covering entire countries, or maybe even continents. A recent incident last week nearly caused the entire city of Zielonka to flood.

O5-7: Has the town been placed under quarantine, or has anything happened to the residents?

O5-2: Yes and yes. Theological personnel ran a few tests — almost all the citizens of Zielonka have been completely cleaned of sin, just like us.

O5-4: Is that a bad thing?

O5-10: It could be, especially if word gets out about it and someone catches wind of our operations. Imagine a world where everyone travels to Poland and hopes to get swept away by milk.

O5-2: While Ten is technically correct here — it's not detrimental. It certainly doesn't harm anyone, if that's what you're asking, Four.

O5-4 nods.

O5-7: Why didn't we just bathe in this milk ourselves? Instead of doing… all of that.

O5-2: As far as we can tell Seven, it only works for devout Christians — which applies to none of us, least of all me.

O5-7: Okay, but how can you say this is a threat if, as you just said, it doesn't harm anything? Would someone actually notice that this thing was anomalous?

O5-4: You mean other than the floods of milk?

O5-7: Well, duh, but that's not what I meant. Why not just trap it underground in some lead container and nuke the damn thing? Be done with it entirely.

O5-4: Did you really just recommend nuking a coffin as a legitimate idea that we should consider?

O5-10: It's not entirely absurd, Four. We've certainly done weirder things, but this sounds inefficient and completely antithetical to our goals.

O5-2: And infeasible. That thing isn't moving anywhere. It's way too heavy for any machinery to lift or carry, and beyond that, we might accidentally instigate more RAPTURE events by trying. We've only been able to kill one version of Heaven with modern military technology, and with this one we still don't know how robust it is. And — what's worse — the collective delusions associated with the anomaly are spreading. Everyone in Zielonka has been having the same shared dreams about, well, cheese kingdoms and oceans of milk.

O5-4: In that case, why not just destroy Christianity itself? We do have weapons that can eradicate concepts from the Noosphere.

O5-7: That would be way more ridiculous than just nuking a single tub, by far.

O5-4: I don't see anyone else pitching any better ideas.

Further silence by all members of the Council.

O5-2: There is… one thing, I think. Something we haven't considered yet.

O5-10: Really? What's that?

O5-2: Well, look, the milk's only dangerous because of all the flooding, right?

O5-4: You can't be serious.

O5-10: Two, I already know what you're thinking.

O5-2: Oh, come on Ten. What's the harm in trying? I consider myself an authority on what Jesus would want, and I know for a fact that this will work.

<END TRANSCRIPT>

ADDENDUM 5: ATTACHED PROPOSAL

Approved following verdict and confirmation by the O5 COUNCIL.

DETAILS

DATE: 1992/09/12

CURRENT STATUS: [ONGOING]

OPERATING REGION(S): NORTH AMERICA, POLAND

ORGANIZER: O5-2

SUMMARY

Following further conversations with all members of the O5 COUNCIL, a new strategy, hosted primarily within North America, was officially approved by majority vote.

Following approval, transferral and outsourcing of SCP-6542 material into U.S.-based containment Sites was immediately authorized to both assist struggling facilities in Poland and decrease the total quantity of milk produced from the anomaly. Said strategy would eventually lead to a federally and nationally approved ad campaign hosted by Foundation front companies, which would then be used in tandem with physical SCP-6542 material.7 The approved campaign was later proposed to the Department of Education, which accepted and authorized the distribution of promotional materials throughout public schools across the United States.

Thus far, the Foundation's strategy has proven effective in reducing all produced SCP-6542 material to sustainable levels. It should further be noted that, following this campaign, RAPTURE events from SCP-6542 began to decrease dramatically in size and frequency, effectively becoming outright null as of writing.

An example of this campaign, approved for viewing by O5-2, has been attached to this report for reference.



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