SCP-6221

rating: +116+x
Item#: SCP-6221
Level2
Containment Class:
safe
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
dark
Risk Class:
notice

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An image from SCP-6221-21, in which Santa Claus converses with a pair of hostages, attempting to coerce them into eating Blitzen the reindeer.

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-6221 are to be contained at the Sites at which they were delivered; digitization efforts are underway. Due to the fact that SCP-6221's anomalous effects are only visible during November and December, testing is only to take place during these months. Foundation personnel who are inadvertently exposed to SCP-6221 are to undergo quarantine until December 26th, and avoid the following stimuli:

  • Christmas-related media (music, movies, animation, novels)
  • Christmas-related clothing (stockings, 'Santa' hats, winter clothes)
  • Christmas decorations
  • Snow
  • Food and drink associated with the holidays such as eggnog and sugar cookies
  • The concept of giving or receiving gifts

Description: SCP-6221 refers to a collection of films, television programs, animations, and a single music album that, as of writing, comprises at least 24 distinct pieces of media. All SCP-6221 instances are styled as Christmas or holiday-centric media, but rather than having typical morals or themes that are expected from this form of media (i.e. affirmations of the Christian faith, the virtues of charity, and the power of a child's belief) the content is highly subversive, and in the case of animated media, inappropriate for the alleged target demographic of children due to the presence of violence.

Each SCP-6221 instance was delivered to various Foundation sites across the Northern Hemisphere in December of 2021. Each of them was accompanied by an identical note:

Dear SCP Foundation,
We here at Vikander-Kneed Technical Media know that it has been a very difficult couple of years, but have no fear! We're here to bring Christmas cheer all over the world, starting with you. Since you've shown such a vested interest in our product line, we have elected to give you twenty-four—yes, that's right, twenty-four!—brand new Christmas Classics, free of charge! It's like your own advent calendar!
The thing is, we can't get more than one package past your perimeters without them being shot down, so we're delivering them across the globe. Worry not, we're ensuring the content is appropriate for your region.
Merry Motherfuckin' Christmas,

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Each note had an embedded cognitohazard that caused individuals who read it to hear the note as if it were read in the voice of American comedian and actor Jeff Dunham. The intent behind this is unclear.

A list of selected SCP-6221 instances is included below.


Addendum: SCP-6221 Instances:

SCP-6221-01 is a near-mint VHS tape including an original hard plastic case with illustrations of various characters created by Charles M. Schultz. The art depicts these characters holding torches, pitchforks, hammers, and sickles, under a title that reads "Eat the Rich, Charlie Brown!"

The special is styled after the typical Peanuts holiday specials and featuring the vast majority of the 'Peanuts gang'1 as they attempt to instigate a socialist revolution by raiding and destroying a department store on Christmas Day. The events of this special takes place directly after the ending of A Charlie Brown Christmas, and the aluminum trees that made up a minor plot point are used by Snoopy to demolish the front of the department store, allowing the characters to break in.

At one point, an adult human is seen, a severe oddity for a Peanuts cartoon. This individual is identified as the owner of the store, Mr. Manybucks (spelling unclear). The cast proceed to graphically bludgeon him to death as he protests the destruction of his store and the loss of his Christmastime profits.

Point of Delivery: Urban Site 58, San Francisco, California. This is the closest major Foundation Site to Charles M. Schultz's place of burial.

Effects: Viewers are more reticent to the concept of shopping for Christmas. Furthermore, repeat viewings lead to a desire to seek out and attack individuals whose net worth exceeds $10,000,000 USD. These largely fade within a week of viewing.

SCP-6221-02 is a DVD with a photograph of POI-8832 ("Diego Marquez") on the front of the case, entitled "A Very Special Holiday Message from the Second Haptic Assembly".

The video shows aberrations consistent with a low-quality transfer from a VHS tape to a DVD, and depicts POI-8832 delivering a sermon themed around the celebration of a winter holiday whose name is indistinguishable, as there is an audio glitch each time it is spoken. An excerpt is below:

POI-8832: Friends, now is the time of year where it gets colder and darker every day. Now is the day to come into the embrace of the Hundreds of Hands that make up the Assembly. Every year on [indistinguishable], we come together and celebrate by coming together and thanking the Many-Handed Ones for holding up the Stars and Moon.
We also rejoice by drinking the blood of the Eckhart family, the bastards that killed my Father. Now, since there's no direct lineage, we have to resort to members of parliament, or even prime ministers. Thankfully, the Prime Minister of Aus[inaudible] is our best source for that, and god knows he's not running out any time soon! Fat bastard.

Point of Delivery: Site-91 in York, England, in the former quarters of Agent Rebekah Douglas.

Effects: Individuals who view SCP-6221-2 more easily comprehend the events of Operation Hecatoncheires than individuals who do not. As such, Site-91 is currently considering its use as a tool in briefing archivists on the subject.

SCP-6221-07 is a Blu-Ray anniversary release of the film Die Hard, with the title changed to "We Get It, Die Hard is a Christmas Film, You're Not Clever." The plot of the film is identical to Die Hard, but there are several alterations to the cast, soundtrack, costuming and props.

John McClane is anachronistically portrayed by Macaulay Culkin, who appears to be in his thirties; Culkin would have been seven years old when production commenced in November 1987. In addition, several parts of the sound track have been replaced with 'hard rock' covers of Christmas songs; for example, during a fight between McClane and Hans Gruber part way through the film, Trans-Siberian Orchestra's version of Carol of the Bells plays. Several characters are also seeing wearing archetypal 'Santa' hats, and Gruber contemptuously bites the head off of a gingerbread man during the scene where he is making demands to the LAPD.

Point of Delivery: Site-43, Lake Huron, Canada

Effects: Subjects who view SCP-6221-07 become anomalously intolerant to any discussions of classification to the extent that arguments, and even violence on one occasion2, have followed from discussions revolving around classification of objects or concepts.

SCP-6221-10 is a 25-minute long animated Christmas special called "The Grinch Was Right To Steal Christmas!". Animated in the same style as the 1966 special How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, the short re-imagines the Grinch's attempt to ruin Christmas as a righteous crusade against the hyper-materialistic Whos in Whoville. During the encounter with Cindy Lou Who, The Grinch confesses to wanting to steal Christmas, saying that the holiday 'represents the worst part of the year, propped up by hypocrites that preach charity and goodwill while lining their pockets with toy and candy sales'.

The Grinch succeeds in destroying the presents by tossing them out Mt. Crumpit, and the Whos are shown to be better off without Christmas in their lives.

Place of Delivery: Site-87, Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin

Effects: Viewers of SCP-6221-10 will attempt to non-violently sabotage Christmas-related events such as gift exchanges and Christmas parties. Site-87's 'Secret Santa' assignments were posted to its SCiPNet Public Message Board the day after assignments were sent out, necessitating a reshuffling of names.

SCP-6221-12 is a mildly-degraded VHS tape, delivered in a generic brown case with a sticker on the spine indicating that it was once property of the Bentonville Public Library.

Titled "Grandma Got Run Over By A Wal-Mart Truck", the film mimics the animation, character design, voice acting, and plot from the 2000 Christmas movie Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. Instead of being hit by Santa Claus's sleigh, the character of Grandma Spankenheimer is hit and killed by a Wal-Mart truck driver who is high on amphetamines. The driver is instructed by the company to dispose of the body. The film then follows Jake Spankenheimer and Santa Claus's attempts to prove grievous wrongdoing by Wal-Mart and claim justice for the deceased Grandma Spankenheimer.

As in the original film, the last act is a courtroom drama.

Point of Delivery: Site-118 in Arkansas, United States.

Effects: Inconsistent. 30% of viewers have expressed a desire to burn down the nearest Wal-Mart, and 60% began formulating ideas to disrupt the Wal-Mart Supply Chain. The final 10% expressed a desire to somehow desecrate the grave of Sam Walton.

SCP-6221-15 is a CD Album entitled "All I Want For Christmas is Forever". The first track on the album is Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You"; all subsequent tracks are allegedly covers of the same song. An unknown number of tracks exist on SCP-6221-15, with notable instances including:

  • Track 39, which appears to be sung in an unknown language similar to Attic Greek, speculated to be Minoan.
  • Track 102, which was entirely in Morse code, and took approximately sixteen minutes to play.
  • Track 222 , which instead is a rendition of Tom Jones's It's Not Unusual. Track 223, immediately following this, is the original All I Want For Christmas Is You.
  • Tracks 302 through 417, which are all spoken-word renditions All I Want For Christmas Is You in various languages, each by a new speaker.
  • Track 418, which is a twenty-seven hour long scathing critique of tracks 302 through 417.

SCP-6221-15 cannot be removed from the device playing it unless the device is damaged in some form, as it fuses the CD Drive shut. SCP-6221-15 is incapable of being damaged during the removal process, but has been scratched during handling following its removal.

Point of Delivery: Site-16, current base of operations for Mobile Task Force Eta-11 ("Savage Beasts"), which specializes in containment of musical anomalies.

Effects: Playback of SCP-6221-15 results in listeners experiencing nausea when in proximity to devices playing Christmas music, and projectile vomiting when a non-anomalous version of All I Want For Christmas Is You plays. Following this gastric event, listeners will attempt to destroy all speakers playing the song in their proximity.

SCP-6221-20 is a Blu-Ray disc delivered in an unlabeled case. Written on the disc with permanent marker were the words "Stock Hallmark Christmas Film #29123".

The plot depicts a white male pursuing a romantic relationship with a white female who is a single mother, during the Christmas season. Actors portraying all characters, and the names of the characters themselves, change from scene to scene, even shot to shot. No identifiable actors have been found in the films, barring an inexplicable cameo from Julia Louis Dreyfus as the owner of a 'Bed and Breakfast and General Store' the characters stay at in the second act of the film.

Point of Delivery: Site-79, which is notable for studying anomalies related to dreams and the Oneiroi collective.

Effects: No individual has successfully watched SCP-6221-20 to completion. It is an intense soporific which causes individuals to fall asleep when viewing or documenting it.

This description was written over the course of two days by three different individuals, due to the personnel documenting it experiencing periods of abrupt sleep while writing.

SCP-6221-21 is a betamax tape with the title "The Night Santa Went Crazy" crudely written in black permanent marker. It is an exploitation film, with a copyright date of 1973; despite this, the film is attributed as being 'Based on the 'Weird' Al Yankovic Song' of the same name, which was released in 1996.

The film closely follows the plotline of the song; on Christmas Eve, Santa attacks the elves in his workshop in a drunken rage, holding them hostage, and murders the majority of his reindeer. The film follows the later 'extra gory' version of the song, where Santa Claus is shot dead by SWAT.

Place of Delivery: Area-09, Duckwater, Nevada

Effects: SCP-6221-21 causes an intense distrust, bordering on phobia, of Santa Claus. When confronted with images of Santa Claus, or an individual dressed up as Santa Claus, they will attempt to flee, and if they are unable to, they will attempt to violently subdue such individuals.

Jokingly referring to this phenomenon as 'Claustrophobia' within the presence of viewers of SCP-6221-21 has resulted in five concussions, four broken fingers, three bloody noses, two chipped teeth, and a single broken knee.

SCP-6221-24 is a VHS tape in a heavily-degraded cardboard sleeve; only the title, "Rudolph the Red State Reindeer", is legible.

SCP-6221-24 is animated in a style typical of Rankin/Bass claymation productions; however, Rudolph is bipedal throughout the film. The plot concerns Rudolph coming to believe that Christmas is falling out of favor, and launching a political campaign in an effort to fight against the 'War on Christmas'. While mostly disregarded, he finds favor in Florida, where he runs for governor on a pro-Christmas platform, sweeping the election.

Rudolph expects to create a Christmas wonderland in Florida, but instead finds himself mired in politics, as his voters believe that his pro-Christmas platform followed a Christian Theocratic ideology, and he is unable to walk back from it. Over the course of the film, Rudolph passes more and more extreme policies— forbidding the celebration of any holidays in December other than Christmas and the New Year, forcing women to wear Christmas sweaters year-round, and dismantling Florida's healthcare system.

This final action is what causes Rudolph's friend, Hermy the Elf, to run against him as a democratic challenger in the next election, a year after Rudolph has renamed Florida to 'Christmasland' and has declared Miami, Tampa and the Florida Keys as 'naughty list zones' (implied to be large internment camps). Due to his rising popularity, Hermy is assassinated by Clarice, Rudolph's love interest; this act causes an outpouring of support for Frosty the Snowman, who had been the candidate for lieutenant governor. Despite widespread gerrymandering and an attempt to shut down polling places using Christmasland's National Guard, Frosty is elected Governor of Christmasland, and systematically undoes all of Rudolph's changes to Florida.

Rudolph is said to be permanently 'on the naughty list' in a narration by Santa Claus at the end of the film.

Point of Delivery: Regional Headquarters-352, Gulf Coast of Florida.

Effects: SCP-6221-24 uses a parody of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer poem over the closing credits; however, attempting to transcribe it has led to all of the text being changed to the phrase "Lyrics Copyright Vikander-Kneed, Suckers", repeated ad nasueum. Viewers repeat this song, and other songs with similar parodic content, when exposed to images of Rankin/Bass characters. This effect fades on December 26th.

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