rating: +79+x

Item #: SCP-600-CO

Object Class: Alive

Special Containment Procedures: All instructions for the care of SCP-600-CO have been followed precisely, with special care being given to following the orders needed to keep it from perishing:

  • Monitoring of moisture and humidity levels.
  • Ensuring proper soil pH levels.
  • Taking pictures of any new growth or leaves to show you when you get home.
  • Appreciating SCP-600-CO in all of its living, alive majesty.

It cannot be overstated how awesome and alive SCP-600-CO was, is, and will continue to be.

Description: SCP-600-CO is your perfectly healthy and normal houseplant, which I have been watching for you since you left for vacation last month. Nothing has changed about it since you last saw it. Why would you even think otherwise?

Analysis of SCP-600-CO's current status suggests it has, in fact, never been healthier. The moisture meter left to monitor SCP-600-CO's soil has shown that it has the best moisture. It's the moisture they keep talking about, everyone says there's nothing like the liquid goodness inside of SCP-600-CO.

Oh, it wasn't supposed to be that moist? Never mind then, dry as a bone. Or, not like literally. Bones are full of blood and marrow, right?

No, forget I mentioned blood.

The pot SCP-600-CO has been living in since before I began watching it is intact and, in fact, was cleaned up by me prior to your arrival to ensure that SCP-600-CO looked its very best to welcome you and has in no way been shattered, obliterated or otherwise rendered anything but exactly how you remember it.

Everything is fine. Why do you ask?

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