Item #: SCP-5986

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any witnesses to SCP-5986 are to be amnesticized by Foundation agents stationed in maternity centers across Rhode Island.

Description: SCP-5986 is a phenomenon randomly occurring in the state of Rhode Island. SCP-5986 occurs primarily in newborn infants. During an SCP-5986 event, the affected child will begin to speak in a masculine, adult voice. The transcript of the recorded speech is below:

"What's up parents? Hey, did you know that children have three times as many taste buds as you old folks? It's crazy! That's why you should take me down to Millie's Candy Shop, so I can eat plenty of delicious, sweet goodness! And don't worry about packing on extra weight or getting cavities, as all of Millie's candy is zero-calorie with no sugar! That's right zero calories and no sugar! Maybe you parents will even want in on some of this action, eh? We'll see you there!"

The affected child will then wink before losing consciousness, ending the SCP-5986 event.

Other than SCP-5986 itself, no evidence has been found to support the existence of a Millie's Candy Shop. Millie's Candy Shop has been classified as SCP-5986-1. See Incident 5986-1 for more details.


Incident 5986-1

On March 11th, 2020, Sarah Hampton gave birth at home with assistance from her wife, Leah Hampton, and Paula Gallagher, a midwife from a local hospital.

The child was reportedly affected by the SCP-5986 phenomenon, however, it also gave directions to SCP-5986-1. Leah Hampton followed these directions, and posted about her experience on her amateur blog, Rhode Why?-land. A Foundation webcrawler quickly removed the blog post, and an archive can be seen below:

Heyo, Why?-landers! Good news! My wife, Sarah, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, who we decided to name Stein, right in the comfort of our own home. Thank you to all the commenters who gave recommendations for housewives on our last post! We hired Ms. Gallagher, and she was very kind and helpful through this stressful period of time.

A few other things happened too. When Sarah was finally holding Stein, he started talking in a really deep voice, about some Millie's candy store. Then he started giving directions, and, eager to capture his first words, I copied down them down verbatim! Then, after kissing Sarah, I followed 'em! Now, I know you all think I'm crazy. Leave my baby boy just an hour after he's been born? Well, I wouldn't have expected it either, but candy that doesn't give cavities and is zero-calorie from a reputable gal like Millie? I just had to try it!

They brought me to this cute, pink little house. It had a garden, but it was just lollipops stuck in dirt. I went in, and this nice young lady greeted me at the counter as I looked around. It was just like any other candy shop, nothing special there. This lady on the other hand, oh boy, she looked a bit like a circus clown, with face paint and all that stuff!

The lady introduced herself as the owner of the candy shop, Millie, then asked me what I wanted. I remembered the ad saying they had zero-calorie candy, but that just sounds like a bunch of gobbledygook, so I asked about that. And she laughed! Said everything they have is zero-calorie, all home grown right in her little garden. So I asked how she's able to grow candy, and she said she uses candy seeds. What an ingenious concept!

I asked for a sample, and she gave me a little pack of gummy bears, my favorite candy, and told me to give them a taste. But then something amazing happened. Holding them in my hand, they were weightless! I even tried dropping them, but they floated right in the air. Millie said that they naturally go down into your stomach when you eat them, and not to worry about it getting stuck anywhere along the way. Without hesitation, I shoved them in my mouth, and they were really really good! So I bought a few big boxes of them, they were so affordably priced, and Sarah also really likes gummy bears, so it'll help her get off her post-pregnancy cravings.

So I paid, looked up, and the store was gone. Gone! I was standing right in the middle of the woods with a bunch of gummy bears in my hands! But gosh, that Millie was so kind, and her candy is soooooooo good! You should definitely make your way down to Millie's Candy Shop— be it for your kids or for yourself. After all, adults have sweet teeth too!

Alright now, I've gotta get back to taking care of Stein, so thank you for reading, Why?-landers! See you next post, and remember, Millie's candy is all zero-calorie, the perfect diet snack!

Shortly after the post was deleted, Foundation agents were dispatched to Rhode Island, where all witnesses were interviewed and amnesticized. Upon attempting to follow the directions that had previously given to Leah Hampton, they led to a nearby forest.

Investigation and testing concerning the access of SCP-5986-1 is currently ongoing, as no other SCP-5986 instances have given directions following this incident. Foundation agents stationed in maternity centers have also been encouraged to advertise their services for home births in order to prevent similar incidents from occurring.

Incident 5986-2

On May 23rd, 2020, a Foundation agent stationed at a post office in Hope, Rhode Island reported the sudden manifestation of hundreds of letters within a postbox as they were emptying it. Upon further inspection, it was discovered that the letters were addressed to the parents of each child that had been affected by SCP-5986. A transcription of one of the letters can be seen below:

Sad news, pals. Millie's Candy Shop is closing!

That's right, now you'll have to settle for candy with CALORIES! Isn't that just disgusting?

I'd love to stay open and continue sating your cravings with my zero-sugar treats, but candy shops need business, and I simply wasn't getting any, despite all of my top-notch advertising! Perhaps it's because someone scared all my customers away!

Have fun making your teeth rot! And remember, dentists are always watching!

~ Your dearest ex-candymaker, Millie

As of Incident 5986-2, no new instances of the SCP-5986 phenomenon have occurred. Reclassification to Neutralized pending.

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