rating: +100+x

by J Dune



Item #: SCP-5813-1

Object Class: Neutralized (Formerly Keter)

Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-5813-1 is considered neutralized, further containment is deemed unnecessary. Its body is held in Area-179's anomalous entity cryogenic storage. Performing research on the cadaver is available to all staff Level 3 or higher.

Description: SCP-5813-1 is a male humanoid, 1.81m in height, which is biologically non-anomalous and physically identical to SCP-5813. The entity was created in 1854 as a combined effort by the Foundation and PoI-4661 to keep knowledge of SCP-5813's anomalous nature from becoming public.

SCP-5813-1 possesses knowledge typical of a subject serving public office but is incapable of taking a stance or making decisions without authorization from its handlers. The entity is fully versed in previous decisions made by SCP-5813 as well as its perceived history.

SCP-5813-1 was found deceased in its containment area on 1874/3/8. On 1874/3/9, the entity dispensed a note from its mouth during its autopsy, a transcript of which can be found below.


To whom it may concern,

I was delighted to know that I was not the only one to have found something strange in our dear former president, but I did not expect it to affect you lot! When you approached me with your dilemma, I jumped for joy. You had tried to make your own 'little misters', but they just didn't work out. Our combined efforts have created something beautiful, my friends.

I've had a toy line in mind for quite some time, but never really had anyone to test it on… But you are among my greatest collectors, and I am honored to announce that you were the proud owners of a custom-made, one of a kind, never before seen, never will be seen again, honorary, celebratory, inauguratory, little mister!

That's right; though it appears your trial has run out, you were the very first to own a little mister! But don't get too comfortable, as soon there will be more to collect! Collect them all and become Mr. Collector!

Just sign below, and solidify your name as the proud collector of our premiere little mister: Mr. President!


Eternally yours;

Dr. 'Wondertainment' (Does that sound proper?)

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