INTERVIEWERS: Agent Alice Sterling, Agent Clark Adams
SUBJECT: SCP-5690-B
«BEGIN LOG»
ADAMS: Hello, ma'am.
SCP-5690-B: Please leave.
STERLING: We just have a few questions, miss. We're from the precin-
SCP-5690-B: How dumb do I look? You're Foundation, you have the goddamn logo on your patch.
[ADAMS adjusts his patch, coughing.]
STERLING: … Right, yes, of course. You're familiar with us?
SCP-5690-B: Everyone of note in Undervegas knows who you are. You can't really topple a demon kingpin without making waves, love.
STERLING: Well then, would you mind answering some of our questions?
SCP-5690-B: Yes.
STERLING: Why's that?
SCP-5690-B: I don't work for free, darling.
[SCP-5690-B hands a small flyer to STERLING.]
STERLING: … Seriously?
SCP-5690-B: A girl's gotta work.
STERLING: $70 for an hour? I don't - is that cheap?
ADAMS: Oh, yeah boss, that's a whole deal and a half. Generous discount. A real bargai-
STERLING: How many brothels do you go to?
SCP-5690-B: Look, are you paying or not?
ADAMS: Don't worry boss, I got this. [To SCP-5690-B] I'll give you $35 for a half hour.
SCP-5690-B: Huh, you weren't that quick last time.
ADAMS: It's only a few questions, we promise.
SCP-5690-B: Are you neg- you know what, I'll take it.
ADAMS: Great. [To STERLING] Alright boss, you owe the lady thirty-five.
STERLING: I thought you said you got it!
ADAMS: Do I look like the kind of lowlife who pays for sex?
STERLING: [Sighs] You- Yeah, alright, here.
SCP-5690-B: Thank you. And the clock is running.
STERLING: Okay. How long has this place been open?
SCP-5690-B: Oh, a couple years now. It's slow growth in this business, but steady, especially in the locale. Started with only me and two other girls, now we're up to sixteen.
STERLING: Does anyone know about your anomalous nature?
SCP-5690-B: Not… really. People know us as the place that's safe, not obscenely expensive, and most importantly, a really good lay.
STERLING: Anomalously good?
SCP-5690-B: [Muttered.] They don't call me a semen demon for nothing…
STERLING: What?
SCP-5690-B: What?
ADAMS: Do people actually call you that?
SCP-5690-B: … Sometimes.
STERLING: Moving on… what's your benefit from this arrangement?
SCP-5690-B: What do you mean?
STERLING: Couldn't you return to Hell? No having to worry about cops, and all the demon fucking you could want?
SCP-5690-B: No can do. We're of a specific breed of demon - we get full from the energy released between demons and mortals. Has to be both. We're the demons, and the mortals pay to come to us. We get the money and the sustenance. It's pretty efficient.
STERLING: Fair enough.
SCP-5690-B: It also lets me help the local girls.
STERLING: How's that?
SCP-5690-B: What, did you think I was importing girls from Hell to work for me? No, fuck no. Some of the girls here got pulled over during the city shifting to Hell and back - thanks for getting rid of those, by the by - and got no way to get back. They'd starve without this place, or be reduced to working the corners. Like I used to.
STERLING: So you give them a home in exchange for… I see. Very benevolent.
SCP-5690-B: Yeah, well, girls gotta stick together.
[Silence.]
STERLING: We may have overpaid for time.
SCP-5690-B: No kidding. You've still get about twenty left on the clock.
STERLING: Can I get a refund?
SCP-5690-B: … No.
ADAMS: Well, if we've still got time paid for, it'd be a waste if you, y'know…
STERLING: Jesus Christ, Clark.
SCP-5690-B: [Muttered.] Not that asshole. [To ADAMS] Well, I'm obviously down if you are.
STERLING: Amazing. I'll be in the car.
[SCP-5690-B grasps ADAMS' hand and begins leading him toward the stairs.]
STERLING: Wait, hold on.
SCP-5690-B: Yeah?
STERLING: Earlier you said 'specific breed of demon' — you're succubi, aren't you?
SCP-5690-B: [Laughing] Yeah, no, honey. Everyone thinks we are, but no.
STERLING: What are you, then?
SCP-5690-B: We're incubi.
STERLING: Aren't all incubi male?
SCP-5690-B: You'd think that. The only difference between a succubus and incubus is whether they're a bottom or a top.
STERLING: Oh. Well, have fun, you two.
[ADAMS' smile falters.]
SCP-5690-B: Oh, we will.
«END LOG»