you’d get it if you were there
SCP-563-J intruding on Agent Pangilinan’s date with their girlfriend.
Item #: SCP-563-J
Object Class: Keter, the horse is here.
Special Containment Procedures: All attempts to contain SCP-563-J have been unsuccessful. SCP-563-J manifests worldwide with no discernible pattern and cannot be intercepted. Individuals present during SCP-563-J manifestations are advised to follow the PETR Hostile Entity protocol:
- Perform caution in order to avoid provoking SCP-563-J.
- Evacuate indoors until SCP-563-J de-manifests.
- Testify and inform the Foundation of SCP-563-J's presence.
- Remain calm and alert, regardless of any feelings induced by SCP-563-J.
Description: SCP-563-J is an entity that resembles a horse1 which manifests within the vicinity of any lesbian-presenting couple.2 Couples who have witnessed SCP-563-J report a feeling of uneasiness and anxiety caused by the presence of the entity. When asked about the reason for these feelings, the witnesses are unable to give direct or tangible answers.
Despite the reported uneasiness, there have been zero reported attacks or physical harm inflicted by SCP-563-J. The PETR Hostile Entity protocol has been established as a failsafe.
SCP-563-J typically de-manifests after 15-30 minutes since appearing or upon the targets leaving its vicinity. In one case, however, it has been reported to watch for up to 18 hours.
Addendum 563-J.1: Anecdotal Reports
Interviewed: Senior Researcher Pauline Kien
“One second we were walking in the park, next thing you know, there’s this horse watching us. Becky noticed it first, and I wondered what suddenly got into her. But then I saw it too. I immediately grabbed her hand and started walking away as fast as possible.
There’s something wrong with it, I’m telling you. It just watched, but I swear it had malicious intentions.3 Until that thing is contained, Becky and I aren’t going on dates outdoors anymore.”
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“I'm still on edge… It doesn’t even do anything. I try to keep a good work-life balance, right? But every time I try to go somewhere with my date, it's there. I should not have to scope out venues and look over my shoulder every 5 seconds while I try to put on a brave face so I don't embarrass myself in front of her. I really should just toughen up… it's just a horse."
Interviewed: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
“You know what I think? I think it’s memetic.”
(Interviewer) "Just to clarify, have you seen SCP-563-J, Dr. Lillihammer?"
“No. I’m just telling you guys what’s up, because you clearly need my help cracking this.”
(Interviewer) "Do you think you'll ever see SCP-563-J? Do you think you'll get scared as well?"
“Yeah, as if I’d ever let my guard down while out with a date. As soon as that horse appears, I’m running a memetic analysis faster than it can say neigh.”
Interviewed: Dr. Rebecca Fawley
“Pauline, please let it go. We haven’t had a date in 3 months.”
Interviewed: Dr. Elaine Foster
“That wasn’t a horse. I don’t think horses can be evil. I always loved horses, back when I was a little girl, I-“
The interviewer reminds Foster to get back on topic and asks about her relationship with Nadine Porter, who she was with when she saw SCP-563-J.
“Oh, right. I didn’t even know we were on a date.”
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“We were hiking, then the thing showed up right before our eyes! Anna told me to take a picture of it for proof, but I was too put off by its… immensely evil aura that I had to make her do it. I’m a literal field agent, this shouldn’t be so hard for me. It's just a horse.
She probably thinks I’m a quivering pussy now. At this rate, she’s never gonna [SEXUAL CONTENT EXPUNGED FOR RELEVANCY].”
Interviewed: Agent Molly Kennedy
“I saw it when I was getting groceries with my husband. She’s my wife now.”
NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
Due to increasing frequency of SCP-563-J sightings, Foundation personnel with security clearance of Level 2 and above are permitted to directly add statements to this file.
— Automated message from RAISA
Interviewed: Senior Researcher Pauline Kien
“Remember how we thought SCP-563-J only manifests outdoors?
I took Becky to the mall today. You’ll never guess who showed up in the middle of the department store.”
Interviewed: Dr. Cyril Kien
“Nobody's asking the real questions. Why would a horse target lesbians specifically? What does it even have to gain? How does it find them? How does it know that they're lesbian? What if… the horse is a lesbian too? Food for thought."
Interviewed: Researcher Karina Lee
“Uhmm… Isn’t Pauline transmasc? That’s just a straight couple with extra steps…”
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“Okay, whoever you are, pick up a history book? Transmasculine lesbians and butches have always been here.”
Interviewed: Researcher Karina Lee
“How about you pick up your date without getting interrupted? Oh wait, you can’t.”
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“God, I am so sick and tired of toxic people speaking over lesbians. SCP-563-J has historically only manifested in the presence of lesbians, and that’s not gonna change any time soon!"
Interviewed: Dr. Heather Garrison4
“Nope, not memetic. And she was too distracted when it showed up, I beat her to it.
Maybe it’s a semiohazard that targets people who identify or will identify as lesbians?“
Interviewed: Researcher Karina Lee
“So it only goes for people who identify as lesbians. It doesn’t mean they’re actually lesbian.”
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“Hey, Lee? Here’s my SCiPnet. (mjpangilinan@scp.int) Do me a favor and block it.”
Interviewed: Dr. Cyril Kien
“But isn’t Becky bisexual?”
[SEVERAL INTERVIEWS EXPUNGED FOR IRRELEVANCY]
Interviewed: Senior Researcher Pauline Kien
“For the sake of productivity, I suggest we stop adding statements that are irrelevant to SCP-563-J sightings.”5
Interviewed: Agent Brayden Peterson
“I wish I was SCP-563-J. I love watching lesbians.”6
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“I thought a vacation would help… It followed us to Paris.
Something’s gotta give.”
Addendum 563-J.2: Neutralization
On 2023/6/17, SCP-563-J manifested in the Memetics and Countermemetics Office in Site-43 in the presence of Dr. Lillian Lillihammer and Dr. Heather Garrison, who were left alone working overtime.
The two simultaneously declared “DIBS!” before Lillihammer made an antimemetic gesture and Garrison hit SCP-563-J with a countermeme, ejecting it from the Noosphere.
SCP-563-J demanifested then, and no new incidents have been reported.
Interviewed: Dr. Rebecca Fawley
“Pauline and I went to the farmer’s market today! I’m proposing to her on Tuesday.”7
Interviewed: Agent Maria Josefina Pangilinan
“Good riddance. I have been having so much sex.”
Addendum 563-J.3: Further Developments
On 2024/4/2, Dr. Felix Amoreaux and Dr. August Rhodes reported spotting a horse matching the description of SCP-563-J during their honeymoon in Denmark.
Further investigation is ongoing.
The view from the couple's hotel room window.
