rating: +53+x

Item #: SCP-5521

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-5521 and its current inaccessibility, containment efforts are to be focused on the monitoring of Guy Fieri. Embedded agents within the Food Network are to secure any future episodes of "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" that feature footage of SCP-5521 and deliver them to Site-14 for study. Reruns of the program are to be aired in the episode's place, and any employees of the Food Network who view the footage are to be properly amnesticized.

Description: SCP-5521 is theorized to be an extra dimensional space, believed to be located somewhere in the southeastern United States. As of the creation of this article, only a select few individuals have been able to access SCP-5521. However, these individuals do not seem to recall any details of their time inside SCP-5521, nor how they were able to enter or exit. The only evidence of SCP-5521's existence is a segment from an episode of Guy Fieri's "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives," (see Excerpt 5521-459) where Fieri visits SCP-5521 and samples "local cuisine" from a restaurant within the space.

Discovery: SCP-5521 was discovered after embedded agents within the Food Network viewed footage from an upcoming episode of "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" that featured SCP-5521. Mr. Fieri was interviewed, but claimed to have no memory of visiting the restaurant within SCP-5521. After current containment protocols were established, no footage of SCP-5521 has been found in episodes of the series. A proposal to change Object Class to Neutralized is pending approval.

Addendum A: Excerpt 5521-459

The following is an excerpt from the episode of "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" in which SCP-5521 is featured.

(Unlike the rest of the episode, footage within SCP-5521 is not edited in any way. The reason for this is unknown, but it is theorized to be due to the nature of SCP-5521. The segment begins with Fieri and his camera crew approaching a building resembling an American diner.)

Fieri: Now, I haven't heard a lot about this place, but if there's one thing I keep telling you guys, it's that you can't be afraid to try new things. I don't know how good the food's supposed to be or even what these guys serve, but we're gonna find out, and I can not wait.

(As the group approaches the front door, the camera focuses on signage on the marquee above the door. The letters are in English, but much of the text consists of gibberish. The only recognizable words are "great eat." The group enters the building. While the interior resembles a typical American diner, much of the furniture does not appear to be properly proportioned for human use. Many of the booths are unnecessarily large, and the tables are irregularly shaped. None of the group appears to acknowledge this. Behind the counter is an entity resembling an adult octopus, wearing an apron and paper hat. The entity vocalizes in an indecipherable language and gestures to Fieri with its appendages.)

Fieri: No kidding! I always love meeting fans and seeing what they're capable of! Whatcha got for me, buddy?

(The entity produces a tray from behind the counter and sets it on its surface. On the tray is a mass of unknown biological material, which occasionally quivers in place. The entity vocalizes once again.)

Fieri: This is your house special, huh? I have to admit, I've seen a lot of diners use this cut of meat, but I've definitely never seen it prepared like this! That's what I love about this job; seeing all the awesome ways passionate cooks like you can take a typical dish and turn it on its head! You'll have to show me how it's done!

(The entity vocalizes while providing silverware for Fieri. Fieri cuts off a piece of the mass and eats it.)

Fieri: Wow! You've seriously knocked it out of the park, my man! The spin you've put on this dish is just so unique, I can tell you've put a lot of heart and soul into cooking this!

(Fieri continues to eat pieces from the mass for approximately three minutes before setting down his utensils.)
Fieri: Alright, now that we've experienced the flavor, why don't you take us back and show us the magic?

(The entity leads Fieri and his crew into a back room. Inside is a large mass of various biological material, similar to the mass Fieri had sampled, hanging from what appear to be meathooks. There is a large machine on the eastern wall, with rubber tubes extending out of its chassis and into the mass. An unknown substance is pumped from the machine into the mass.)

Fieri: Now this is what I call home cooking! Not only does it smell delicious in here, but it's nice and simple! It just goes to show that you don't need a whole bunch of fancy equipment to unleash the flavor!

(The entity extends an appendage into the mass, which emits a loud gurgling noise. The entity removes its appendage, revealing another, smaller mass in its grip.)

Fieri: I don't say this very often, but you, my friend, are very much an artist! You've got a gift, my man, I'm being serious! Not just that, I can tell you've dedicated yourself to this art completely! The food, the kitchen, the attitude, they all point to the same thing; you love what you do. Trust me when I say I haven't seen many cooks who express such unconditional love for their work. When this episode goes up, be ready for the crowds, because they're gonna be coming for this stuff by the thousands. You rock, man. Keep up the flavor.

(The entity squeals.)

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License