SCP-5345
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warning.png
Item#: 5345
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
keneq
Risk Class:
caution

1024px-Conrad_Kennedy_III_vs._La_Parka_black_and_white.jpg

SCP-5345


Assigned Site Site Director Research Head Assigned Task Force
MXHGPC-Site-10 I. Sarmiento E. Trenton N/A

800px-LA_Park_at_LuchaTO_Jan_2016.jpg

SCP-5345

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5345 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment chamber at Site-10.

Description: SCP-5345 is a skeletal humanoid entity which performs as a professional wrestler in the state of Hidalgo, Mexico.

SCP-5345 physically resembles an animate human skeleton. It is sapient, intelligent, and exerts strength far beyond what its body mass would allow. Despite not possessing any organs required to do so, SCP-5345 is capable of speech, as well as visual and auditory perception.

SCP-5345's attire consists of a black "lucha libre"1 mask and complementary bodysuit adorned with white, skeletal design motifs. It stuffs this outfit with a variety of materials, including straw, cotton, and indiscriminate pieces of garbage. This action is intended to conceal its skeletal frame, giving the entity an inconspicuous, human-like appearance.

SCP-5345 self-identifies as "Los Huesos Malos"2. It believes itself to be the soul of a former professional wrestler named Ernesto Marquin, who must perform 'good deeds' for its community in order to regain control of a human body once again. Such claims cannot be verified, and records of a professional wrestler named Ernesto Marquin have yet to be found.

SCP-5345 arrives at independent wrestling events in the state of Hidalgo and attempts to take part in the show. This occurs with varying degrees of success, but has allowed the entity to amass a small fanbase, who remain unaware of its anomalous nature and that SCP-5345 is not playing a role nor is a legitimate part of the show. SCP-5345 uses force while performing, and is known to harm its opponents, often to the point of hospitalization.

Addendum.5345.1: Discovery and Interview Logs

SCP-5345's anomalous nature was discovered on 08/13/2020 at a wrestling event in Pachuca de Soto, Hidalgo, where, after jumping into the ring and interrupting a match involving two teams of wrestlers, the entity was stabbed with a makeshift knife by another performer. This was presumably intended to gravely injure SCP-5345, but instead resulted in its bodysuit opening and the padding inside falling out. The entity fled the building and proceeded to break into a nearby liquor store, where it stole several liters of product. A Foundation containment team arrived within hours to interview and amnesticize witnesses. Shortly after, SCP-5345 was found laying unconscious in the parking lot of a gas station, where it was then taken into Foundation custody at a provisional safehouse several kilometers outside the city.

MEMBERS:

  • Dr. Eric Trenton
  • SCP-5345

Forward: After a brief struggle of resistance, Foundation specialists transported SCP-5345 to a Foundation safehouse and placed the entity in a makeshift containment chamber. Dr. Trenton, a transfer researcher from Area-179, was chosen to interview the subject due to his previous work documenting humanoid anomalies.


<BEGIN LOG>


*All logs within this document translated from Spanish

(Dr. Trenton enters the interview room and takes a seat. SCP-5345 is held in a temporary containment unit. The entity sits with its arms folded and its bodysuit torn.)

Trenton: SCP-5345? My name is Dr. Trenton, and I'll be talking to you today. I have to say, I dig the outfit!

SCP-5345: Call me by my real name, jackass. Don't patronize me, you scone-eating bitch.

Trenton: I, uh, apologize. Right, Los Huesos Malos, correct? You're a wrestler, huh? I used to be super into wrestling as a kid. Austin, the Rock, all those guys.

SCP-5345: GAHAHAHA! I'd burn hot coals under Austin's ass and give the Rock tetanus. Those guys are frauds, hacks, corporate suck-ups. I'm the real deal, the one and only, baby! Would you believe me if I said this is the only time I've been arrested in this life? God, I missed interrogations, good cop, bad cop, the whole deal.

Trenton: Well, it's nice to meet you, and I'll be looking forward to hearing your perspective. What, ah, exactly do you mean by 'this life'?

SCP-5345: I mean you can't keep the bone daddy down! I didn't always look like this, no. And I wasn't always this charitable either. Ah, fuck it, I'll tell you a story. A long time ago, I looked just like you, minus the ugly. There were flesh on these bones. Ernesto Marquin, I was called. I was a bad, bad man. (Laughs)

(Trenton writes on his clipboard.)

SCP-5345: Still wrestled, wore a mask and all. But I didn't do it for the people, I did it for myself. Started out as a face.

Trenton: A face? That would be the good guy, correct?

SCP-5345: Wrestle-speak, yeah. A bad guy would be a 'heel', and let me tell you, I was shit at playing a face back then. Cheesy, unlikable, always trying too hard. Decided to change my gimmick to a heel, but that didn't work either. It just wasn't believable.

Trenton: You seem like you have the part down these days, at least from my perspective.

SCP-5345: It's not a part anymore. I started really getting into it, got a rush from the heat. Started doing heel-shit in real life. Strong arming promoters, changing outcomes of matches, taking payments that weren't mine, whatever. What I used to do was specifically work charity shows, pocket the money, and skip town. GAHAHA, those poor motherfuckers!

Trenton: And these were… charity shows?

SCP-5345: Money going into the local orphanages, churches, hospitals, what have you. Those kids were a lost cause with or without the money, so it was better off with me! (Laughs)

Trenton: That's… um, what would you do with this money?

SCP-5345: Booze, whores, drugs, and guns. The holy trinity! Audiences couldn't stand me, and the other talent couldn't either.

Trenton: I'd imagine.

SCP-5345: But you see Dr. Quintin, that was the old me. This big, bony heart has been set on a new path!

Trenton: And what would that path be?

SCP-5345: You might not believe me with that science brain of yours, but I met an angel! I was walking through a town one night, when a group of men from one of these orphanages stopped me. Guns pointed, ready to blow old Huesos out of his skin. Said I robbed them, and took everything they had left.

Trenton: Wait, you robbed an orphanage?

SCP-5345: (Scratches head) You know, I still can't remember if I did or didn't. I've definitely stolen from a few have-nots before, but I don't know if I took from that specific one. I was probably drunk. Anyways, they blew me to pieces, GAHAHAHA! I woke up awhile later in some type of room, and some hot-ass angel looking bitch was there. Said she'd make me an offer. If I could become loved in my community by doing good deeds, she'd give me a second chance at life. She told me I had a year, and I woke up in a dumpster looking like the bony badass you all know and love today.

Trenton: When was this? How many more days do you have left in your body?

SCP-5345: Oh, that shit happened five years ago.

(Silence.)

SCP-5345: WEEEELLL, I'm still working that bit out. I may have been the victim of a practical joke, or she may have just wanted talk to a stud like me, GAHAHAHA! I haven't heard from her. She, uh, also erased Ernesto Marquin from existence or whatever. People don't remember who I was or anything I did! It's like getting your resume reset!

Trenton: I… suppose. Uh, have you been performing good deeds?

SCP-5345: Good deeds? Are you kidding me? That's all I do anymore, asshole! They should call me Los Huesos Buneos for all the bullshit I go through to make sure my fans are satisfied. Audiences love me, hell, they show up just to see me. The amount of happiness in the world goes up every time I bash a chair into someone's skull.

Trenton: We've been told you show up uninvited. And we know you hospitalize people, because we covered the bills for 12 other wrestlers tonight. How is it a good deed if someone's still getting hurt?

SCP-5345: Well, yeah! That's my style. I'm the realest motherfucker in wrestling, and I'm a goddamn skeleton! Besides, half of those guys hated me when I was alive. Feels good to get back at those bastards, and put them in "La Trituradora de Huesos"3. That's my signature move, I pull their arms behind their shoulders until they pop! (Laughs)

Trenton: Why did you run away tonight? You don't seem like the type to care much about your appearance.

SCP-5345: Uh, I… I didn't want anyone to be overwhelmed! I pad my costume for comfort, okay? I'm perfectly fine with being a skeleton, okay? Christ.

(SCP-5345 digs in his pants, produces a flask, and begins 'drinking' from it.)

SCP-5345: God, you're making me drink. Anyways, I'm a changed man.

Trenton: Changed? Wait a sec, where'd you get that from?

SCP-5345: Keep it on me. You want proof I'm changed? Tonight I robbed that liquor store because I was thirsty. Years ago, I would've done it for fun.

Trenton: How are you even drinking that?

SCP-5345: You've been a great host, Dr. Benson. But I already told you, I have good deeds to perform. Got a body to get back and all. Can't spend all my time here when the show has to go on.

Trenton: Unfortunately I don't think —

SCP-5345: GAHAHAHAHA, You're not understanding what I'm saying, are you?

Trenton: I don't believe so. This is permanent containment.

SCP-5345: Don't take this personal, Tristan. I don't have a bone to pick with you, I just have business to attend to.

Trenton: What —

SCP-5345 dives towards the containment chamber's door, breaking it upon impact. Dr. Trenton is knocked to the ground by the force of SCP-5345's body.


<END LOG>



03:03: SCP-5345 assaults Dr. Trenton. A security alarm is set off. The entity attempts to flee from the interview room.

03:05: Guards stationed outside the room open fire on SCP-5345. It remains unharmed. The entity attacks both guards, knocking one unconscious and causing the other to run. SCP-5345 takes a firearm.

03:11: A squad of 7 STF guards stationed at the safehouse surround SCP-5345 and attempt to control the entity. It proceeds to engage in physical combat despite holding a firearm. Several injuries to Foundation personnel result, including severe burns from being placed head first into an oven and the throwing of two guards down a flight of stairs. SCP-5345 leaves the foyer.

03:15: SCP-5345 enters the outermost layer of the safehouse. The entity spears a personnel into the windshield of a vehicle and sets fire to another using gasoline and a blowtorch. SCP-5345 escapes in an automobile intended for field agent usage, and drives into the city of Pachucha. Foundation forces follow aerially.

03:44: SCP-5345 leaves its stolen vehicle and makes its way to into a cathedral. Two clergymen are physically assaulted in the process. One is thrown through a stained glass window and the other is slammed into a wooden pew with enough force to break it upon impact. Foundation personnel surround the cathedral with a helicopter and ground level task force members.

03:48: SCP-5345 drags a priest to the roof of the cathedral and places him over his shoulders. The entity delivers a protracted monologue, transcribed below.

SCP-5345: SCG Corporation! You think you can run around here, controlling everything and slapping things in cages just because they're weird? Just because they're a bad bone daddy? Just because, um, they don't want to get their ass pounded… kicked? Let me tell you a parable from the gospel of Malos. Sara was a little girl who looked up to old Huesos, and every week she loved watching Channel 12 and seeing him grind bones into cosmic stardust. Then one day, a bunch of lab coat wearing, scone eating, Go Fish-playing bitches showed up with test tubes up their asses and took Sara's favorite skeleton to prison. She's in tears, and it's all your fault. She's sick, and the only thing that's going to cure her is seeing the stinkbug face of Dr. Henson slammed into the side of an 18-wheeler twenty times over! I'm doing this for Sara, for the Make-A-Wish kid in the Huesos Malos t-shirt and sweatbands, and for every single one of my people. I do this so those little shits don't grow up to be big shits working for some university institution that wants to earn a paycheck! They know I'm the best in this business and you can't even begin to compete. Tonight, your chances of winning have gone down… drastically!

03:54: SCP-5345 places the clergyman on its shoulders to perform a 'suplex4' maneuver, and leaps from the roof of the cathedral into the crowd of personnel below. A containment specialist team arrives and successfully places SCP-5345 in a mobile containment unit. The priest is hospitalized with severe injuries.

04:15: The entity is transported to Site-10 and placed in a standard humanoid containment chamber.



Forward: Entity was subsequently interviewed by Dr. Trenton two hours after the incident. SCP-5345 is situated in a standard humanoid containment chamber. Its head is placed in its hands.


Trenton: SCP-5345, are you able to communicate with us again?

SCP-5345: (Startled) Huh? Wh - yeah. That was a pretty good show back there, don't you think? I kicked your chemistry teacher asses back to the drawing board! (Laughs)

Trenton: And yet you find yourself in a containment cell.

SCP-5345: It was worth a shot. An entertainer like me has to have a last stand. I'm sure someone out there enjoyed it.

Trenton: And the people you hurt, myself included? I treated you pretty fairly, don't you think?

SCP-5345: Listen kid, people are always getting hurt around me. Makes no difference.

Trenton: Then I hope the gravity of your situation sets in sooner than later.

SCP-5345: Gravity? Come on. I'm… I'm Huesos Malos, the baddest motherfucker in the solar system. You think this box is going to contain me?

Trenton: I do.

SCP-5345: Then you think wrong.

(Silence.)

Trenton: I'm assuming you're content remaining a skeleton in a cage for the rest of your existence?

SCP-5345: You talk like I'll be here forever. Remember, I'm a lucky bastard. I'll be out of here before you realize it and back into the arms of my people.

Trenton: What people? You're a mere amusement at best, and the target of hate at worst. Did you ever wonder why it's been five years since you were given a second chance at life?

SCP-5345: You have no clue what you're talking about. I've touched hearts! Even as a skeleton, I touch hearts!

Trenton: I'll allow you to believe that. In the meantime, you'll be placed under psychiatric care to help overcome your evident anxieties of your skeletal form. Any questions?

SCP-5345: I've never been anxious in my life, asshat. I'm perfectly fine with the way I am.

(SCP-5345 reaches towards its crotch, presumably searching for a flask.)

Trenton: That's wonderful, but it won't change anything. Welcome to the Foundation, SCP-5345. I'll see you in the morning.

(Trenton prepares to leave the room.)

SCP-5345: Hey, wait! I'm not, like… shit. I'm going to be able to leave this cell, right?

Trenton: On occasion, if we deem it necessary. You did cause us a great deal of trouble tonight, so I wouldn't count on it soon.

SCP-5345: Well… how am I supposed to do good deeds and all? How am I supposed to gain my body back? I can't do anything in here!

Trenton: You'll have plenty of time to think about that. You know, this isn't personal, SCP-5345. I think you're intelligent enough to understand how people work, or at least what upsets them. You should use that intelligence to figure out why things haven't been going your way these past few years.

SCP-5345: GHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess they were right. I never was good at this whole face thing. Bad to the bone, can't help it!

(SCP-5345 laughs for an extended period of time. Its laughs slowly become choked and forced. Dr. Trenton exits the room.)

SCP-5345: (Yelling) It's just business, you bastards!


<END LOG>



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