SCP-5306
rating: +45+x
Item#: 5306
Level2
Containment Class:
safe
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5306 is contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-63.

SCP-5306-A is kept in Warehouse B of Site-63. Access for testing purposes is currently unrestricted.

SCP-5306-B is to be kept in storage locker 7-D in Site-63. Currently, SCP-5306 is not permitted access to SCP-5306-B.

Description: SCP-5306 is an animate, sapient human skeleton dressed in a tattered coat, leather boots, and three empty holsters on its belt for various weapons, all of which show signs of severe water damage. The entity wears an eye patch over its left socket, despite lacking eyes in both. When SCP-5306 is damaged, it will regenerate within an hour; this regeneration appears to function similarly to a reptile regenerating lost limbs, although there does not seem to be any limit on which body parts can be reformed. The regeneration has interfered with carbon dating attempts to determine SCP-5306's exact age, although it claims to be over three hundred years old. The anomaly does not require sustenance to survive, but does seem to enjoy the action of pouring sea water into its mouth. SCP-5306 refers to itself as "Captain Frederick."

SCP-5306-A is a brigantine ship with several holes and other signs of damage along the hull. Despite the damage, it remains functional and is capable of diving and resurfacing. SCP-5306-A is capable of regenerating in a similar manner to SCP-5306, although it always retains a small amount of damage. SCP-5306 can operate SCP-5306-A on its own, even though ships of its model typically require multiple crew members to operate.

SCP-5306-A was found at the bottom of the ocean slightly off the coast of Florida in 2012, but it was not connected to SCP-5306 until 2021.

The following timeline has been constructed from oral histories and legends describing events involving SCP-5306-A.

1738: SCP-5306-A is first seen attacking a fleet of trade ships in the Atlantic ocean.

1742: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle for the first time. An hour later, it rises out of the sea and successfully destroys the ship that was responsible for the damage.

1768: A cache of gold coins is found buried near a small fishing village near the site of a previous SCP-5306-A attack. The following day, the village is burned to the ground and the gold is lost. Locals claim SCP-5306 was responsible.

1805: SCP-5306 is captured while looting a damaged ship. It escapes by injuring itself to the point that it can fit through a small hole in the ship's hull.

1822: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle with multiple trade ships. SCP-5306-A resurfaces and continues the fight but is sunk again. SCP-5306-A is sunk an additional three times before it destroys the entire fleet.

1873: A cache of gold coins is found buried near a large trade port close to the location of a previous SCP-5306-A attack. A ship resembling SCP-5306-A is seen approaching the town through the fog, but it does not engage.

1889: SCP-5306-A attacks a fleet of trade ships, and is sunk in battle. SCP-5306-A resurfaces an hour later but does not re-engage.

1917: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle and does not resurface.

2021: SCP-5306 is taken into Foundation custody after it is seen in a computer supply store in San Jose, California.

After SCP-5306 was apprehended, a raid was conducted on its place of residence, a houseboat that was docked near the location of the entity's capture. Locals reported never having seen the boat before it arrived earlier that morning. The following items of note were found within the boat:

  • One sketch of a ship matching SCP-5306-A.
  • One half-complete model of an 18th century brigantine.
  • Four pirate-themed novels, each somewhat water damaged.
  • One set of golf clubs that had accumulated a significant amount of dust.
  • One wastebasket containing various bills dating between 1963 and 2016 and a copy of How To Break an Ancient Curse by Itztlacoliuhqui-Ixquimilli.

The return of the items to SCP-5306 is pending.

The following interview was conducted shortly after initial containment.

Interviewer: Doctor Randal

Interviewee: SCP-5306


[BEGIN LOG]

Randal: To begin this interview, we'd like to know what you were doing in that computer store.

SCP-5306: Lookin' to pick up some parts for my new ship. I heard they had a sale on.

Randal: And you didn't think they would be scared of you?

SCP-5306: There was a store selling pirate games next door, figured they wouldn't mind doing business with an actual pirate.

Randal: So you're a real pirate, not just in costume?

SCP-5306: Well 'course I'm real! I was a terror o' the high seas, scourge o' the European trade routes, and the richest corpse above ground! Or I was, anyway.

Randal: So you are aware that you're a skeleton.

SCP-5306: Yes.

Randal: Right then. Can you please tell us how you came to be that way?

SCP-5306: Oh, you know how it is. Steal gold from a tomb, get cursed to live forever as a skeleton, get a magic ghost ship. It was pretty standard piratin' back in the day.

Randal: Okay… do you know what happened to this gold?

SCP-5306: It's been almost three hundred years, I kind o' lost track.

Randal: Three hundred years? What have you been doing all this time?

SCP-5306: Well, for a while I would plunder merchant ships, got quite rich off o' that… then they started making ships out o' metal instead o' wood and replacing cannons with missiles. I couldn't keep up. It just wasn't a stable career anymore.

Randal: So you retired?

SCP-5306: For a while. I kicked back, took up a few hobbies. But I couldn't handle the quiet un-life. So I modernized my business. I found a new form of piracy that doesn't have any chargin' into battle, but still has all the thrills and adventure.

Randal: Really? Can you elaborate on this?

SCP-5306: It's a pretty big site actually, femur island dot-com. I actually had more fun with that than any of my time on the water. The internet is about as lawless as the open sea, but I don't have to worry about being shot at.

Randal: Uhh… Never heard of it.

SCP-5306: You should check it out. I got a lot of pirate movies on it. It's uncanny just how accurate some of them are.

Randal: This might be a problem.

[END LOG]

Following this interview, Foundation staff returned to SCP-5306's place of residence and found an anomalous laptop hidden under the bed. The laptop, hereafter designated SCP-5306-B, had been decorated with multiple pirate-themed stickers and had the name █S█S Flying Anne's Pearl1 engraved on the back. SCP-5306-B is anomalously buoyant and is immune to any damage that could be caused by water. When damaged by other sources, SCP-5306-B regenerates in a similar manner to SCP-5306. It is also capable of functioning with no power supply and is able to receive a stable internet connection even while isolated inside a Faraday cage.

SCP-5306 told Foundation staff that it had been using its website, FemurIsland.com, to illegally distribute copied digital products for three years before it was apprehended by the Foundation.

SCP-5306 also told staff that FemurIsland.com had generated over a million dollars since its inception. Foundation use of this website to cover containment costs is currently under Ethics Committee review.

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