SCP-5283
rating: +84+x

Item #: SCP-5283

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, SCP-5283 is currently self-contained at Site-37.

Description: SCP-5283 is an immovable, third-party Nerf N-Strike Elite Universal suction dart stuck to the ceiling of Site-37's central cafeteria.

Addendum-1: Removal Attempts
Attempt Method Outcome
#1 Researcher Harbor Wilson attempts to pull SCP-5283 from the ceiling. Failure
#2 A different staff member attempts to pull SCP-5283 from the ceiling. Failure
#3-8 Dr. Wilson directs six other staff members to attempt to remove SCP-5283 Failure
#9 Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a knife. Failure
#10 Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a motorized saw. Failure
#11 Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a chainsaw. Failure
#12 Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a PLS.1 Failure
#13-16 Dr. Wilson attempts to remove the entire ceiling tile SCP-5283 is attached to.2 Failure
#17 Dr. Wilson attempts to burn SCP-5283 using a lighter. Failure
#18 Dr. Wilson attempts to melt SCP-5283 using a flamethrower. Failure
#19 Dr. Wilson attempts to destroy SCP-5283 using three minuscule detonation charges. Failure
#20-23 Dr. Wilson attempts to destroy SCP-5283 with a shotgun. Failure
#24 Dr. Wilson attempts to destabilize the local reality around SCP-5283 to result in its disconnection from the ceiling. Failure
#25 Dr. Wilson prays for SCP-5283's removal. Failure
#26 Dr. Wilson prays for his removal. N/A
#27 Dr. Wilson spends approximately 78 minutes shouting at SCP-5283, demanding it fall off of the ceiling. Failure
#28-███ Dr. Wilson attempts to punch SCP-5283 off of the ceiling. Fuck This Failure

Further attempts are pending.

Following this email correspondence, Dr. Wilson was seen walking into Site-37's central cafeteria while muttering the phrase "What kind of bullshit idea is that?" He then reportedly walked over to SCP-5283 and asked, "Can you please get off of the ceiling, SCP-5283?" He was immediately met with the laughter of most nearby staff - much to Wilson's seeming embarrassment - though it ceased moments later when SCP-5283 seemingly obliged the request, falling from the ceiling. Since its removal, all anomalous effects have ceased and SCP-5283 has been reclassified as "Neutralized."

Dr. Wilson has since started seeing a Foundation therapist.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License