SCP-5243-J

Item#: SCP-5243-J
Level5
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
amida
Risk Class:
critical

AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.jpg

AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg, photographed on 2024-01-07 using 79% of Site-43's available computing resources.

Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-5243-J is a recurrent catastrophic systems failure, it is 'contained' by amelioration of its effects.

Every year, on the seventh day of January, the following actions must be taken at Site-43:

Any actions timed to the precise second have extremely narrow windows of opportunity
Local Time Action Required
06:00:— Technical and support personnel must be fully prepared for immediate repair or reconstruction of all computer apparatus Site-wide.
17:18:22 Chief A. Torosyan must leave Site-43 and travel to the Ausable River.
18:11:01 Site Director Dr. A. McInnis must check his 43NET messages.
18:21:34 Dr. McInnis must send the draft file for SCP-5866 to Dr. H. Blank in an email with the subject line "Logo request".
18:22:25 Dr. Blank must read Dr. McInnis's email and the attached file in their entirety.
18:23:41 Dr. L. Lillihammer must make an offsite backup of AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg.
18:25:20 Chief Torosyan must personally apologise to every beaver within SCP-6622.
19:09:59 Dr. Blank must open the onsite copy of AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg.
19:26:— Dr. Blank must begin creating a vector logo image based on the draft file's header document, and store it within AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg.
20:45:23 Dr. W. Wettle must lean on the wall opposite the Site-43 topside elevator.
20:45:35 Dr. Wettle will and must fall to the ground.
20:51:09 Dr. Blank must copy the logo image into its own file, and send this file to the Joint Chairs and Chiefs.
20:52:43 Chief D. Ibanez must attempt to print the logo image using the main printer in the Security and Containment bullpen.
20:53:22 Dr. Blank must close AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg.
20:53:48 Dr. U. Okorie must activate the containment breach alarm.
20:53:56 Chief Ibanez must kick the printer four times.
20:59:11 Dr. Lillihammer must instruct Cliometria.aic to merge AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg with its offsite backup.

If the above-named individuals are unavailable to perform their containment duties, their assigned surrogates must be enlisted to replace them.

Except Dr. Blank, because this is his problem now.


Description: SCP-5243-J is an annual digital containment breach/unstable time loop occurring in Site-43 and 43NET, resulting in the loss or alteration of Foundation emblems, insignia, and logos as a result of a catastrophic overflow of vector art effluence.

For the majority of his employment, Dr. H. Blank has been responsible for creating logo images for Site-43, including for its Sections and SCP object file covers. He continues to create all of these images in a single file named AssortedArtFuckeryDocument.svg (henceforth AAFD), currently 1.8GB in size. This led to the events of 7 January 2021, outlined below:

Incident Report S43-2021-03
Date: 2021-01-07. A reminder, to no personnel in particular, that this date format is an international standard, while MM/DD/YYYY is not.
Officer of Record: D. Ibanez (Chief of Pursuit & Suppression)
Consulting: Dr. A. McInnis, Dr. H. Blank

Summary: At 20:40 hours, Dr. Blank's AAFD vector image file reached critical recondicity. This coincided with the emergency venting of counterchronological material through pipes adjacent to the Identity & Technocryptography Section. A brief torrent of supernatural activity followed, with effects including but not limited to:

  • Permanent inaccessibility of the above-mentioned file
  • Increases/decreases in the number of visible Foundation or Site-43 emblems
  • Transfiguration or deletion of SCP and Section logos
  • Power supply issues
  • Colour spectrum shifts
  • Macropsia, teleopsia, metamorphopsia, teichopsia
  • Non-linear progression of loading bars
  • Apparition of extradimensional artwork
  • Digital reification
  • Structural evaporation
  • Apotheosis
  • Stuck pixels

Detailed Report: At 18:21, Director A. McInnis sent Dr. Blank the recently-approved SCP-5866 file, and requested that he design a logo for the file cover.

At 18:22, Dr. Blank received Dr. McInnis's message. Dr. L. Lillihammer, who was conversing with Dr. Blank in his office at this time, immediately instructed him not to open AAFD before she backed it up, stressing the file's capacity to harm 43NET. She then ran to her own office to perform such a backup.

This action placed severe strain on the Site's power grid, ultimately causing damage to multiple instances of SCP-6622, which were unprepared for such an occurrence. Once the backup completed at 19:09, Dr. Blank was permitted to open the local copy of the file.

As the new logo neared completion, a number of dramatic local reality alterations became visible throughout Site-43. These primarily took the form of the erasure or alteration of SCP iconography and logos from both digital and physical records, including but not limited to those originating from Dr. Blank's AAFD file. Dr. Blank himself did not notice any of these.

One such incident involved Dr. W. Wettle, who was leaning on a wall decorated with the Site-43 rainbow emblem. This wall spontaneously exploded at 20:45, causing serious injury to Dr. Wettle.

At 20:51, Dr. Blank finished designing the logo and copied it to a separate file, which he then sent to the Site-43 Joint Chairs and Chiefs. Chief D. Ibanez received this email, and attempted to print the image in order to append it to the SCP-5866 file. The printer was incapable of doing this, instead emitting numerous beeping and grinding noises.

Dr U. Okorie was spending the evening reorganising her office, and at 20:53 noted unusual visual effects on the front covers of the documents she was filing; she immediately activated the containment breach alarm. Dr. Lillihammer subsequently phoned Dr. Blank; the two exchanged in a profanity-laden discussion about the origin of the breach for several minutes. Chief Ibanez kicked the printer multiple times, finally causing it to print the image correctly. This action is believed to have created a vital point of stability that later made the restoration of normal conditions vastly easier.

After their phone call, Dr. Lillihammer directed Cliometria.aic to delete AAFD and restore it from backup. Cliometria did so, additionally merging the new 5866 logo with it. Following the saving of the new file, the reality alterations immediately ceased; all transformed and erased imagery was returned to normal with the exception of the destroyed wall, much of which Dr. Wettle had inhaled.

7 January every year features an exact reprise of these events. Site-43 will experience reality alterations identical to those described above, which will only revert if every action taken by the six personnel directly involved in the original incident (Dr. H. Blank, Chief D. Ibanez, Dr. L. Lillihammer, Dr. A. McInnis, Dr. U. Okorie and Dr W. Wettle) is precisely re-enacted. Additionally, the resultant power failures will persist without the appeasement of the beavers comprising SCP-6622, currently Site-43's primary source of power; Chief A. Torosyan has been assigned to perform this duty.

As of 2023, Dr. Blank retains his unofficial role as the Site's chief iconographer. No additional incidents involving AAFD have occurred; Dr. Blank has repeatedly refused to stop using the file, citing nebulously-defined reasons relating to "version control".

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