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Item #: SCP-5195

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5195 is secured in a lead-lined deep-storage chamber at Site-95's underground facility. It is isolated from all contact and radiometrically monitored for deviations from expected norms.

Description: SCP-5195 is an early 17th century baroque globe produced in Vienna by an unknown craftsman. When acted upon with sufficient force or energy, this force (scaled up) occurs in a region of earth corresponding to the same point on the globe. This effect extends an undetermined distance out from the globe's surface.

SCP-5195 was purchased in 2008 by Joshua Zayne, an American tech-investor. In 2010 — after losing his fortune in online trading — Mr. Zayne extorted several competitors by jamming satellites with directed radio signals aimed at SCP-5195. He used a similar technique to broadcast anonymous demands across these satellites.

On March 11, 2011, a Foundation agent contacted Mr. Zayne (at the time known only by his moniker, 'MysterDeez') via an anonymous chatroom:


XIAOSHAN: MysterDeez?


XIAOSHAN: I am contacting you on behalf of my organization to ask that you cease all action pertaining to the disruption of communication satellites immediately.

XIAOSHAN: You have not only damaged commercial interests, but the interests of numerous global agencies. Agencies that rely on these satellites to save lives.

XIAOSHAN: Turn yourself in, and I promise you clemency for all illegal activities you have committed up to this point.

XIAOSHAN: We know what you're doing, and we know how you're doing it. This is your one and only opportunity to walk away.


MYSTERDEEZ: Y'know, I was initially a little worried someone would be smart enough to figure this out. Thanks for confirming that I've got nothing to worry about, shit-for-brains.

MYSTERDEEZ: You wouldn't be contacting me like this if you had even the SLIGHTEST clue of who or where I am.

MYSTERDEEZ: And no, you've got no idea what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. I've got the whole world in the palm of my hand. Literally.

MYSTERDEEZ: Here. Lemme show you what I can do with just my pinkie.

Following this exchange, a magnitude 9.1 earthquake offshore of the Tōhoku-Oki region in Japan occurred. The ensuing tsunami claimed the lives of nearly 20,000 people.

In 2012, Mr. Zayne demanded a ransom of several million dollars in the form of bitcoins. In exchange, he would refrain from "turning Taiwan into a finger-shaped smudge".

The following exchange occurred on February 2nd, 2012:


MYSTERDEEZ: You got my money, shit-for-brains?

XIAOSHAN: You're right. We don't know who or where you are.

XIAOSHAN: As for how you're doing this… well, some of our labcoats have a hunch. But that's all we've got: A hunch.

MYSTERDEEZ: This going somewhere? You got my money, or should I show you what I can do with my thumb?

XIAOSHAN: A hunch, some fancy math — and the resources to measure the angle of contact from the world's biggest underwater fingerprint.


XIAOSHAN: Well, that, and the world's biggest directed energy cannon, pointed at the world's biggest orbital reflector dish, aimed at one precise spot far out in deep space.

MYSTERDEEZ: wtf??///

MYSTERDEEZ: ///;nisehro;hnvo;zgrj

MYSTERDEEZ: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''


XIAOSHAN: 360 noscope, shithead.

Shortly after this exchange, Foundation satellites detected an extremely small beam of gamma radiation emitted just outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Agents tracked the trajectory of this narrow beam to its source: SCP-5195, located in Mr. Zayne's home.

Mr. Zayne (killed via a brain aneurysm triggered by the beam) was found nearby.

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