A standard Spring Blossom pack of SCP-500-EX-1.
Name: SCP-500-EX
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-500-EX-1 is to be held within the medical wing at all Foundation facilities. In the event that personnel complain of any ailment that is not immediately harmful to their well-being, they are to be given SCP-500-EX-1 six hours prior to other means of treatment. Exceptions may be made if medical personnel believe that other treatments would be more efficient in treating the symptoms.
SCP-500-EX is to be monitored by two armed members of security personnel. An additional two members of security personnel are to be placed at each of the two three four six seven factories owned and operated by the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. All security personnel are to be armed and ordered to not interfere with the actions of the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. Any action committed by either the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation or SCP-500-EX is to be immediately reported to Site-11 intelligence command.
In the event that SCP-500-EX attempts to sell SCP-500-EX-1 specimens without approval from the Foundation, SCP-500-EX is to be threatened with the termination of Agreement-500-EX-A until their actions cease. If SCP-500-EX withdraws from Agreement-500-EX-A or the Foundation invalidates the agreement, SCP-500-EX is to be contained within Site-11.
Description: SCP-500-EX is a 1.8 m (5'11 ft) tall 81.6 kg (180 lbs) human male named Arthur Swanson. Medical analysis has concluded that SCP-500-EX's anatomy is non-anomalous, however, SCP-500-EX is able to produce anomalous pills (SCP-500-EX-1) while overseeing a production line within any of the seven factories owned by the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. SCP-500-EX is the current CEO and owner of the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation, which apart from the production of SCP-500-EX-1, is non-anomalous. The company was formed in 1878 and specializes in the production of medicine and medical materials such as bandages, disinfectants, and medical syringes. The company owns and operates seven factories across four U.S. states1. Around half of the managerial and high-ranking staff at the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation are embedded Foundation agents to ensure the provisions of Agreement-500-EX are followed by SCP-500-EX.
SCP-500-EX-1 provides numerous positive anomalous effects in a several-day/week-spanning period following ingestion. These effects become more pronounced after repeated usage. The label on SCP-500-EX-1 stated that it was able to cure ailments including, but not limited to: Migraines, Cramps, Fatigue, Insomnia, and the Flu. It is not currently understood how SCP-500-EX enhances the properties of SCP-500-EX-1. Prior to its discovery, SCP-500-EX-1 was labeled as "Miracle Migraine Pills" and sold across the US States of Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Kentucky, Illinois, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New York, and the Canadian province of Ontario.
"Why is, "-EX" placed in the text after the mention of SCP-500 and SCP-500-1? Is this a spelling error or something else? Doesn't that usually go on Explained articles?" ~Research Intern Azrael Mackenzie.
"Due to database limitations, it serves to differentiate between this SCP-500 and the main SCP-500 articles. Both were classified together as they are similar, but the -EX is used to serve to differentiate between the two as SCP-500-EX is currently being used to synthesize SCP-500 and create more specimens. The "-EX" in this context, stands for experimental as the designation was given prior to the creation of the, "Explained" classification. For further information, see the Level-2+ Research Log 500-EX-A." ~Senior Researcher Luz Gallegos
Item #: SCP-500-EX
Object Class: Explained
SCP-500-EX stored within a standard plastic vial.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-500-EX is to be stored within plastic containers labeled "SCP-500-EX-1". These containers are to be located within the medical wing of every Foundation facility with level-0 security credentials required to access. With the exception of medical staff, personnel below level-2 clearance are to be told that SCP-500-EX is anomalous and shown the original article for SCP-500-EX. If personnel inquire, they are to be informed that "-EX" stands for "Experimental" and that the Foundation is working to produce an experimental, higher-quality variant of SCP-500-EX.
There is to be a minimum of ten bottles containing a minimum of fifty pills per bottle at every facility.
All employees of the Spring Bottom Medical Corporation have been located, amnesticized, and allowed to retain their positions within the company as of 04/08/1913.
Description: SCP-500-EX refers to sugar pills produced by the Foundation for medical use via the Placebo Effect. SCP-500-EX does not possess anomalous qualities, however, due to the Placebo Effect SCP-500-EX still functions to cure minor ailments among unaware staff and D-Class personnel.
The Placebo Effect is a psychological medical effect wherein subjects receive fabricated medical treatment but believe they are getting the real treatment for their medical condition. This results in their condition improving due to a series of complex neurobiological actions within subject's brains. The most common form of the Placebo Effect globally is via Placebo pills which are identical to sugar pills in most cases, although there are numerous variants with Placebo pills having herbs within them. Numerous studies have shown that subjects who undergo the ingestion of Placebo pills may report the pills to improve nausea or pain that they are dealing with and better sleep patterns.
SCP-500-EX may be used at the discretion of medical personnel if subjects complain of the following:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Headaches
- Cramps
- Anxiety2
- Symptoms of the Common Cold
- Fatigue
- Nausea
When subjects are given SCP-500-EX, they are to be informed to return to the medical wing if symptoms persist for a period of eight to seventy-two hours, depending on what SCP-500-EX is used to combat on a case-by-case basis. In the event that subjects return and claim that SCP-500-EX was ineffective, they are to be given legitimate treatment for the ailment that they claim to suffer from. In the event that subjects report similar or identical symptoms within a three-month span, they are to be given proper medical treatment. Failure to do so/the abuse of SCP-500-EX by medical personnel will result in a reprimand.
Discovery and Research
On July 18th, 1892, Senior Commander Horace Meier of Site-11 sent a letter to O5-11 detailing an anomalous experience they had, from Cleveland, Ohio, United States.
Gretings, for I wish that this letter finds you in good health, I most certainly will be. I believe I have stumbled across a most wonderful anomaly which will ultimately prove most beneficial to the Foundation in its recent course of expansion.
While I was traversing through the countryside my mobility ceased tremendously as my legs had seized into constant cramping for what seemed like hours. I had one of my assistants run into the town of Norwalk to get something to help with my mobility, only for him to return not with a wheelchair nor a cane, but with a pack of 6 white pills that he claimed advertised as being able to cure my pain within hours. I was initially filled with fury at him as he stated that the pills cost 25 cents! But alas, he swore that the merchants stated that these pills would cure any cramps and after believing his rhetoric, I took them and was filled with an immense energy, and within less than 3 hours I was once again walking without being halted by any pain! I immediately went to the store with the assistant again and after inquiring, we were able to learn of this salesman named "Arthur".
We bought several more packets of the pills and have sent them in an attached package. The only other information we have been able to extract was that the pills were made by a company named "Spring Blossom" and that these pills can supposedly deal with headaches, other pain, and even minor illness. What intrigued me and leads me to believe that these pills are anomalous is that the company advertises these pills as being 3 ingredients only, of which all three are non-anomalous.
I hope that my hypothesis about these pills is true, as this will greatly benefit productivity within the Foundation if that is the case.
Sincerely,
Horace.
Testing would promptly begin with the supply of 80 pills to conclude if SCP-500-EX-1 was anomalous prior to its designation as an SCP.
SITE-11 STAFF BULLETIN FOR THE MONTH OF AUGUST 1892.
ALL PERSONNEL WITH MINOR MEDICAL ISSUES WILL BE ABLE TO OPT INTO A MEDICAL TESTING PROGRAM FOR A $10 REWARD FOLLOWING THE CONCLUSION OF THE TEST. THIS TEST WILL INCLUDE AN ANOMALY THAT MAY HEAL YOU OF ALL AILMENTS. LEARN MORE ON PAGE THREE OF THE SITE NEWSLETTER.
Name: Cornelius Huckleberry Age: 37 Symptom(s): Minor Insomnia. Huckleberry was given two pills a day for the duration of one week. Within twenty-four hours Cornelius reported their sleep schedule improving and by day four had reported the disappearance of insomnia-like symptoms. Pills remaining, sixty-six.
Name: Robert Wilson Age: 19 Symptom(s): Reoccurring pain within left arm following a knife attack from a D-Class personnel 8 months prior. Wilson was given one pill a day for the duration of two weeks. Wilson stated that the pain progressively got more tolerable, however, it did not fully go away within the two week span. After approximately 11 days off of SCP-500-EX-1, Wilson further complained about the pain returning and was granted one additional week of SCP-500-EX-1. Pills remaining, forty-five.
Name: Chelsea Dreyfus Age: 20 Symptom(s): Migraine lasting for over 4 hours. Dreyfus was given two pills with a duration of six hours between each dosage. Dreyfus reported the migraine being less painful than it was two hours prior. Within 9 hours, Dreyfus reported to medical personnel claiming to be migraine-free. Pills remaining, forty-three.
Name: John Fullman Age: 67 Symptom(s): Stomach Cancer. Fullman was given two pills a day for the duration of twenty days. Fullman claimed to have rejuvenated energy during this period, although physical symptoms did not improve. Fullman would expire four months following this trial. Remaining pills, three. Purchases have been made across numerous stores in the Toledo area to increase the number of pills in storage to forty-six. Shipments are expected to arrive in eighteen days.
Name: Barry Niccolo Age: 59 Symptom(s): Overall fatigue and lack of energy. Niccolo was given one pill a day for the duration of three days. Niccolo reported increased energy over the three-day period, however, Niccolo complained of his symptoms of fatigue returning after forty-eight-hours of being off of SCP-500-EX-1.
Shipments of replacement SCP-500-EX-1 have arrived. Niccolo has been placed under a daily dose of two pills a day for one week. Niccolo stated that fatigue disappeared by day five. Pills remaining, thirty-two.
Name: Theodore Love Age: 59 Symptom(s): Hearing difficulty caused during service in the American Civil War. Love underwent three separate hearing tests on three separate days to determine Love's level of hearing prior to treatment. Love was given two pills a day for the duration of two weeks. After the two week period had concluded, Love was administered hearing tests. The test results concluded that Love's level of hearing had not been affected by SCP-500-EX-1. Pills remaining, four. Six additional packets of SCP-500-EX-1 have been purchased at a drugstore in Cleveland increasing the number of pills to twenty-eight.
Name: Charlie Berry Age: 42 Symptom(s): Excessive fever, coughing, fatigue. Suspected to be the Flu. Berry received two pills a day for the duration of one week. By the forty-eight-hour mark, Berry reported increased energy and less fatigue. Berry claimed to have felt mostly cured of the Flu by the four-day mark, however, physical testing concluded that Berry still had physical symptoms such as fever and Agar testing. Pills remaining, fourteen.
On December 14th, 1893, after conversing with numerous drug stores in Knox County, the post office box of the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation was discovered in Toledo, Ohio, and letters were sent to establish a line of communication between them and the Foundation. On February 3rd, 1894, the personal residence of Jonah Richards3 received a letter inviting representatives of the Foundation to meet with their CEO; Arthur Swan on March 2nd, 1894 at 11:30 AM local time. The letter also informed members of the Foundation that there would be two rooms booked in the Boody House Hotel under the names "Johannes Miklos" and "Emelio Hitchcock" from the 1st to the 8th of the month.
Letters were sent to the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation in the month leading up to the meeting, though no reply was sent back. Numerous agents arrived at the Boody House Hotel lobby led by Senior Researcher William Wallace at 9:30 AM, local time while waiting for the interview. At 11:24 AM, local time Swanson arrived at the lobby and began to ask civilians sitting in the lobby if they were with the SCP Foundation. The team led by Wallace intervened and guided Swanson to a private hotel room where the interview began.
INTERVIEW LOG
DATE: March 2nd, 1894. 11:31 AM
INTERVIEWEE: Arthur Jackson Swanson "SCP-500-EX"
INTERVIEWER: William Charles Wallace
SCP-500-EX "Arthur Swanson".
[BEGIN INTERVIEW]
Wallace: Hello Mr. Swanson. Thank you for offering and agreeing to this interview.
SCP-500-EX: My pleasure! I hope y'all people are having a wonderful time so far right 'ere Toledo! If I am correct, I understand y'all folks are with a group known as the "SCP Foundation"?
Wallace: Yes we are. The Foundation would like to extend its gratitude for the hotel rooms you have provided to our agents for the duration of their stay.
SCP-500-EX: No worries at all! It's my pleasure and duty to ensure any customers of my company are well acquainted! You know this city does have quite a history. Ya ever pondered 'bout why Michigan has that weird peninsula above the state? It's cause Michigan went to war with Ohio over this very town! Both sides wanted the Maumee River that runs through the city just a few blocks away from 'ere. Something about controlling the trade from The Great Lakes I think. But regardless, in the end, Ohio won but as compensation, President Jackson awarded Michigan the upper peninsula. I had a granpappy who was part of the militiamen in Perrysburg. You lot should go sightseeing around during your stay.
Wallace: Indeed. Grow up in this area? Or are you from somewhere else?
SCP-500-EX: I was born 'ere. I mean, not 'ere exactly I was born down in Waterville just down the river but y'know, same area.
SCP-500-EX lets out a brief chuckle.
SCP-500-EX: But we moved 'round the states lot. Sometime in 1856, ma pappy moved us all out to Maryland. Always was disgusted by the rebels and them owning slaves so he joined the army and fought from 1861 to Appomattox Courthouse. Even in the battle of Gettysburg. When he got back he moved us all out west to San Francisco for 'bouta decade. Then he bought a farm 'round Topeka and I stayed there 'till I was 23. Then I left for my hometown right here in Toledo where I started to sell some medicine. One decade later, 'ere I am!
Wallace: Speaking of, today we are here to talk about some of the medicine your company sells. The "Miracle Migraine Pills". Can you inform us about how you make them and their anomalous effects? What we are curious about is that they are nearly identical to common sugar pills, but still manage to cure many things. Can you explain how it works?
SCP-500-EX chuckles.
SCP-500-EX: All in the magic! It's just a little personal secret that I myself know.
SCP-500-EX taps on their head.
Wallace: As you may have surmised, the SCP Foundation is an organization that is dedicated to the containment of the anomalous and unexplainable within our world. We believe that your pills are anomalous and as such wish to contain them. We hope to get your cooperation with this but will proceed without it.
SCP-500-EX: Relax! I am fully willing to cooperate with the Foundation! I would just like to enter some negotiations first! After all, Miracle Migraine Pills do make up a sizeable chunk of my company's revenue. Can I assume that you use 'em after purchasing them? Or do you throw 'em all into a fire to destroy them after?
Wallace: Our goal is to contain anomalies, not destroy them. But yes, we have undergone limited practical use with the pills.
SCP-500-EX: Wonderful! Perhaps we can negotiate a deal where you are the only people who will get the Miracle Migraine Pills at a competitive price, and they're left offa the public market!
Wallace: I will talk with my superiors to see if we can attempt to negotiate a purchase.
SCP-500-EX: Wonderous! Perhaps in two days time at 12:30 PM, I'll show you around my factory? It is only a 20-minute horse carriage ride away from this hotel! We can discuss the details right there in my office!
Wallace: That would be lovely! We will prepare to meet at that date with any potential deal. Before we end the interview I have one last question.
SCP-500-EX: Of course! What is it?
Wallace: Do you have a list of what stores you give the Miracle Migraine Pills to?
SCP-500-EX: Hmmm. I do not know exactly what stores I provide the pills to off of the top of my head but will provide you with one when you visit my office!
Wallace: Thank you.
SCP-500-EX stands up and shakes Wallace's and the rest of the agent's hands.
SCP-500-EX: Well it's great meeting y'all! I hope to see you again soon! Well I know I will haha. I look forward to it! I will make sure to stay quiet about this meeting until our next. Have a good day fellows!
SCP-500-EX leaves and the team returns to their hotel rooms. A report is transmitted to Site-11 command via telegraph.
[END INTERVIEW]
CLOSING NOTES: Follow-up interview set for 12:30 PM on March 4th, 1894, at 555 Star Lane, Toledo, Ohio, United States. The intro offer is to buy three thousand pills of SCP-500-EX-1 (500 packets) at a price of $150 and an additional twelve hundred pills (200 packets) for $75 every three months. In exchange, SCP-500-EX will agree to not sell SCP-500-EX-1 to the general public, or any other organization without approval from the SCP Foundation. SCP-500-EX will be able to retain their freedom so long as they abide by the agreement.
INTERVIEW LOG
DATE: March 4th, 1894. 12:30 AM
INTERVIEWEE: Arthur Jackson Swanson "SCP-500-EX"
INTERVIEWER'S: William Charles Wallace, George Richard McDonnell
SCP-500-EX: Welcome to ma office gentlemen! I already know Mr. Wallace but I haven't met you yet! What's your name?
SCP-500-EX stands up and shakes McDonnell's and Wallace's hands.
McDonnell: George McDonnell. I'm here to make the deal between you and the Foundation today.
SCP-500-EX: Of course! No point in wasting any time. What're y'all offering?
McDonnell: There's much more paperwork with the specifics of the arrangement, however, the general provisions are that in exchange for 500 packs of SCP-500-EX-1-
SCP-500-EX: Sorry to interrupt, but just to clarify SCP-500-EX-1 is the Miracle Migraine Pills?
Wallace: Yes. You're also referred to as SCP-500-EX in transposition.
SCP-500-EX nods and raises his hands.
SCP-500-EX: Just making sure! Sorry 'bout interrupting, but go ahead.
McDonnell: Don't worry about it. As I was saying; the general provisions are quickly read out in the article. They're pretty short, basically, just you agree to supply us with SCP-500-EX-1 in exchange for money, along with following some rules as to not release info you know about the Foundation to the public.
SCP-500-EX: Howbout this, for nothing extra I'll give you all of the SCP-500-EX-1 that I have at the moment. But there will be an additional $10 for every additional mass purchase. Sound good?
McDonnell: How many extra SCP-500-EX-1 packets do you have on hand?
SCP-500-EX: One hundred and eighty-four!
McDonnell: I believe that will work.
SCP-500-EX lets out a grin and shakes both of their hands.
SCP-500-EX: Alright! Now I will likely take a few days to read this over gentlemen. After all, always read the fine print! But I promise you that I will personally walk to the hotel you folks are staying in to hand the signed paperwork over!
McDonnell: Well, it is probably best if I go back to the hotel to report this. A chunk of the agreement that I am sure you will read focuses on research. Dr. Wallace here will occasionally study the creation process and you yourself. I am assuming that is okay?
SCP-500-EX: Of course it is! Ya guys are my new business partners! So I should show some level of trust! Matter of fact, ya guys ready for that tour 'round the facility I have, here and now?
Wallace: Splendid! Well all of us best be going now!
Everyone walks out of the room. SCP-500-EX quickly runs back in to get something from a drawer on his desk.
SCP-500-EX: Whew! Almost forgot 'bout this!
SCP-500-EX hands Wallace a couple of pieces of paper.
SCP-500-EX: There's a list of all of the names and addresses of the 284 stores that I sell Mira- er, sorry. SCP-500-EX-1 in. This should help in your containment correct?
Wallace: Correct. Thank you for all of your assistance.
SCP-500-EX: Not a problem at all! Now, let's go on with that tour!
SCP-500-EX and Wallace leave to tour the factory while McDonnell leaves for the hotel to telegraph the report back.
[END INTERVIEW]
CLOSING NOTES: SCP-500-EX seems to be very cooperative with the Foundation so far. As you have seen in the transcribed conversation, the Foundation has managed to secure hundreds more of SCP-500-EX-1 with the cooperation of SCP-500-EX and I believe our relationship with SCP-500-EX is going to be greatly beneficial. Dr. Wallace will report within a few days on the factory.
March 6th, 1894
William Wallace
I would like to report that SCP-500-EX has signed the agreement. A copy of the paperwork is en-route with the pills promised as per the agreement. SCP-500-EX has begun to shift their factory production to focus on medical materials and other non-anomalous medication.
I would like to request a task force of twelve men be sent to the towns of Toledo and Detroit to monitor both active factories under the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation and SCP-500-EX.
Sincerely,
William Wallace.
| SCP-500-EX/SCP-500-EX-1 1895-1905 TIMELINE |
| 1895: | January 25th, 20 subjects undergo SCP-500-EX-1 testing. Five subjects ingest one pill a day for the duration of one year, five subjects ingest three pills a day for the duration of one year, and ten subjects ingest two pills a day for the duration of one year. Upon the conclusion of testing, broader usage of SCP-500-EX-1 will be considered. |
| 1896: | January 25th, 19 subjects survive in good health at the end of testing. The 20th subject, Edward LaFoullate, ceased life function following a severe infection of Influenza. Gradual usage in Site-11 approved by site command. From July 18th, SCP-500-EX-1 is to be used on all D-Class personnel to treat non-life-threatening injuries. |
| 1897: | February 1st, medical resources used to medically treat D-Class personnel had declined by 71%. SCP-500-EX-1 is to be used as a primary treatment ten hours prior to other means of treatment to reduce unnecessary medical expenditures. September 4th, usage of SCP-500-EX-1 is to be used across all SCP Facilities across the Northeastern United States and Eastern Canada. |
| 1898: | March 20th, Foundation medical expenditures within sites using SCP-500-EX-1 down 67%. Negotiations have begun with SCP-500-EX to purchase additional SCP-500-EX-1 instances. November 27th, a business deal has been made to purchase an additional 200 packs of SCP-500-EX-1 for $65. A further agreement was reached that the price for each packet would be $0.50 starting January 1st, 1900. |
| 1899: | April 1st, an effort is to begin to ship several dozen packets of SCP-500-EX-1 to all global Foundation locations. All Foundation facilities within North America are to be equipped with SCP-500-EX-1 by December 31st, 1899. O5 vote: 11-2. |
| 1900: | January 1, Distributionary hubs have been established at Site-14 for shipping across the Pacific Ocean and at Site-184 for shipping across the Atlantic Ocean. The previous arrangement has gone into effect, and the price per packet of SCP-500-EX-1 has risen to $0.50. SCP-500-EX has informed the Foundation about the opening of a third factory for its non-anomalous business. |
| 1901: | June 11th, 90% of Foundation locations globally have received an adequate supply of SCP-500-EX. Global supply is expected to be complete by January 1st, 1902. August 9th, an additional 500 packets of SCP-500-EX-1 have been purchased for $250. |
| 1902 | January 1st, Foundation medical expenditures since March 20th, 1898 have decreased by 71%. SCP-500-EX has reported the opening of a fourth factory owned by the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. October 12th, SCP-500-EX has reported the opening of another two factories. |
| 1903 | April 14th, an additional 1000 packs of SCP-500-EX-1 have been purchased by the Foundation due to mass shortages. SCP-500-EX offered to give all packets for free in exchange for the price of each packet of SCP-500-EX-1 being raised to $1. O5 vote: 5-8. A counteroffer has been reached to raise the price to $0.75 per packet. In addition, a further 200 packets are going to be ordered per every routine order. |
| 1904: | February 20th, usage of SCP-500-EX-1 is to begin field testing to determine of SCP-500-EX-1 has practical use during missions. August 20th, SCP-500-EX-1 only had success in improving the results of agents in the field 4.3% of the time. Senior Researcher William Wallace hypothesized that heightened levels of adrenaline lead to SCP-500-EX-1 having a reduced effect in the majority of cases. This was determined to be the solution and field usage of SCP-500-EX-1 has been scrapped. |
| 1905: | June 14th, SCP-500-EX has reported the opening of a seventh factory for the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. Senior Researcher William Wallace has announced his retirement effective January 15th, 1906. Researcher Johnathan Cleveland is to be promoted to the head researcher of SCP-500-EX and SCP-500-EX-1 effective immediately following Wallace's retirement. |
Production Test 500-EX-A
Date: March 19th, 1906
Researcher(s): Johnathan Cleveland, Jerimiah Dougherty
Purpose: To conclude if it is necessary for SCP-500-EX to oversee the production line of SCP-500-EX-1 at a factory owned by the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation, or if SCP-500-EX-1 will be produced if SCP-500-EX oversees any production line producing sugar pills. If so, transportation costs to transport SCP-500-EX-1 from the location of the factories in Ohio to Site-14 and Site-184. SCP-500-EX was awarded $100 for their participation, although they repeatedly stated that the new process will most likely not produce SCP-500-EX-1, as they can not adequately ensure that the pills become anomalous outside of their original production lines.
A technician activates a phonograph in the room while Cleveland and Dougherty are having a conversation.
Dougherty: It isn't too late to call off the experiment. We could save $10 for each of the personnel volunteering.
Cleveland: If I wanted to save money, I would've just used D-Class.
Dougherty: That's another thing, why didn't you just get D-Class to do this? Why'd it have to be employees?
Cleveland: The D-Class'd just tell us what we want them to hear. It's happened before. Besides, barely any of the D-Class in the site have even had the current SCP-500-EX-1 cause we cycle through 'em too fast. So they wouldn't know what it actually does. Then the few that have aren't sick right now.
Dougherty: Fine. But I still stand that it is not too late to cancel the whole thing. With SCP-500-EX saying that it won't work I doubt-
Cleveland: Come on? You're seriously going to take that charlatan's word for it? You do know that he also charges the Foundation for transportation and imagine aaaaallll of that money he would lose out on if he stopped shipping from Toledo to Sacramento.
Dougherty: Yeah, but then wouldn't he just decide to not make SCP-500-EX-1?
Cleveland: Eh. Even if he does it's worth a shot. The old researcher barely did any actual research because he didn't need to as his SCP was "The Thaumiel SCP that is reducing costs".
Dougherty: You make a good point.
Ten Foundation personnel walk in accompanied by SCP-500-EX and two members of security.
Cleveland: Greetings ladies and gentlemen. For the purposes of these tests, you ten will be designated as TS-500-EX-1 through TS-500-EX-10. All of you have already been handed a note with your designation for this test, you may take this time to memorize it if you haven't already.
Cleveland pauses for two minutes to let the personnel memorize their temporary identification.
Cleveland: Alright. I assume y'all are good. Today you have all been selected for a test as you all have reported to the medical bay citing symptoms ranging from migraines to cramps. As you all are aware, the standard procedure is to give you folks a sample of SCP-500-EX-1 until your condition improves, however, we are undergoing testing to discover a new means of producing SCP-500-EX-1. We believe that this new way of producing SCP-500-EX-1 will work exactly the same and save the Foundation expenses on trans~
SCP-500-EX: Just to clarify someth'n a brief second, this new way of producing SCP-500-EX-1 likely will not work. From what they've told me, this is merely a test to permanently conclude if it will or will not. Which I am most certain it won't. But I guess the higher-ups just ain't listenin' to me! Guess it makes me more in the end so why should I care?
Cleveland: Yes… thank you, Mr. Swanson. As he said, this may not be fully effective though we do have significant reasoning to believe it will. You each will be given two pills of SCP-500-EX-1 a day for one week and we will check back in then. That is all for now.
SCP-500-EX turns on a machine within the room they are standing in, which has been designed to replicate the production process of SCP-500-EX-1 in the factories of the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation. 11 minutes pass before the first pills are produced.
SCP-500-EX: There ya have it gentlemen! 140 fine pills of "SCP-500-EX-1"4. Now I will be expecting ma payment soon.
Dougherty: Of course sir. Follow me to accounting and we will get that sorted out.
SCP-500-EX: Wonderous! It stinks back here. Literally, y'all need to install some sorta ventilation 'round this section.
Cleveland: I believe you two should leave to get your payment assorted. Have a great day.
Dougherty leaves with SCP-500-EX and the two guards to head to accounting.
Cleveland: Ignore what SCP-500-EX said. He gets paid extra to ship it directly to our facilities from Nova Scotia to Sacramento. He's only saying that to try to dissuade us from testing. The pills will work exactly the same as normal ones.
Various conversations between the test subjects can be heard, ranging from subjects doubting the legitimacy of this SCP-500-EX-1 to believing in it. Cleveland walks over to the production line and hands each test subject one pill of SCP-500-EX-1.
Cleveland: Go directly here later to get the second pill before you sleep. By tomorrow we will have pills in containers ready for all of you.
The test subjects walk out as Dougherty walks back into the room.
Cleveland: That guy has to have sabotaged it. But why'd he try so hard to convince everyone that it wouldn't work?
Dougherty: Probably wants to look smart. If it fails he can say "Oh. You know I did tell you that it wouldn't work."
Cleveland: Regardless, he gives me the same appearance as a snake oil salesman. But of course, I'm stuck studying him unless I can transfer to another SCP.
Dougherty laughs.
Dougherty: Very sad. You have to spend a few days every few months overseeing the production line of the factory with him. I couldn't dare stand it.
Cleveland: Shut up.
Dougherty: Fine. After work wanna head to get a bit of whiskey?
Cleveland: Sure. Oh yeah, can you turn this thing off?
Cleveland points to the phonograph and the technician turns it off.
Test results
Date: March 26th, 1906
Researcher(s): Johnathan Cleveland, Jerimiah Dougherty
Conclusion: Mixed results. Six test subjects reported that SCP-500-EX-1 had no effect. Four subjects (TS-500-EX-2, TS-500-EX-3, TS-500-EX-7, and TS-500-EX-9) reported being symptom-free by the end of the one week period.
TS-500-EX-1: Nothing changed. I had terrible cramps in my leg and they never got less severe and are still present.
TS-500-EX-2: I was a bit skeptical at first, but low and behold within a few hours of ingesting SCP-500-EX-1 my headache was feeling better. By day two it was gone.
TS-500-EX-3: Had some pretty bad sleep. By day six it was pretty much gone and by now I feel a lot better rested.
TS-500-EX-4: As soon as SCP-500-EX said that it wasn't gonna work I knew it wouldn't help. Sure as hell, I was right.
TS-500-EX-5: Felt a really bad headache and the pills didn't help with my pain like they normally do. I would say SCP-500-EX was right in that it wouldn't work.
TS-500-EX-6: Whilst SCP-500-EX-1 usually does help with any issues, in this case, my issue (constipation) did not get fixed by the new SCP-500-EX-1 pills.
TS-500-EX-7: I had been feeling nausea for about a day prior but just two days of SCP-500-EX-1 were able to relieve it. I told TS-500-EX-9 about it and he was shocked. Saying it wasn't working for him or whatnot.
TS-500-EX-8: After this can I get actual treatment for my fever? Cause the pills didn't do shit. I can barely focus on anything. The only thing I remember clearly is you giving me the pills that the guy said wouldn't work. Then over the week, nothing changed. What the fuck is the point of this study?
TS-500-EX-9: At first the pills didn't kick in. But ironically literally right as TS-500-EX-7 told me it was working for her it started working for me. I didn't really notice it but my cramps were gradually getting better. By today it is gone.
TS-500-EX-10: Had a migraine for a while and the pills didn't take away my headache. I was pretty much always skeptical from the start and it didn't improve afterwards. The pain slowly went away by around day five but I am not convinced it was the pills rather than just it being natural.
Note: No current explanation has been provided to explain the decisive results shown in the trial. As such, until one is provided the experiment is to be considered a failure. SCP-500-EX-1 is to continue to be purchased from the previous factories.
"I know some people let SCP-500-EX read the classified versions of these reports, and I would prefer if you did not. But in this case, it is critical that SCP-500-EX does not read this report. There is a high likelihood that there is a factor in the production of SCP-500-EX that we were close to discovering which SCP-500-EX attempted to halt via trying to stop the experiment prior to its start. I believe this hidden element was used on some of the subjects, and if we can isolate this factor we may even be able to halt any further purchases in favor of our own production. Experimentation is to begin in five days." -Johnathan Cleveland
Date: March 31st, 1906
Researcher(s): Johnathan Cleveland
Purpose: Recommence the same test conditions as done five days prior. Two days prior, SCP-500-EX was brought to produce seventy samples of SCP-500-EX-1 at Site-11. Each subject was given two pills a day for one week.
Result: All five subjects have reported being symptom-free by the end of the one-week period. Further investigation is required to inquire as to the cause of the failure in the majority of subjects seen in the first experiment.
Conclusion: SCP-500-EX actively deceived test subjects in order to ensure the failure of the prior experiment. As such, it is hypothesized that the Foundation was close to discovering the process of creating SCP-500-EX-1 without the necessity of the presence nor payment of SCP-500-EX. Site Command at Site-11 has agreed to designate the following experiments as high priority and grant any requests made by Senior Researcher Cleveland related to SCP-500-EX and SCP-500-EX-1.
NOTICE FROM SITE-11 DIRECTORY
Due to the implementation of new security protocols, in the event that you come in contact with SCP-500-EX, you are to maintain minimal conversation unless approved by Senior Researcher Johnathan Cleveland. You are under no circumstances to show SCP-500-EX any documents found within the file of SCP-500-EX. If you are discovered to have alerted SCP-500-EX to any part of their documentation, you will be demoted and/or removed from your employment with the Foundation, with reassignment to D-Class pending. Past infractions will not be punished retroactively, however, future misconduct will result in harsh punishment.
— Senior Researcher Johnathan Cleveland
Date: April 8th, 1906
Researcher(s) Johnathan Cleveland, Jerimiah Dougherty
Dougherty: It ain't gonna work.
Cleveland: It will.
Dougherty: You can't just call some pills you made an anomaly and expect it to be anomalous.
Cleveland: SCP-500-EX did. So far, it's worked well enough for them.
Dougherty: Of course! That explains everything! SCP-500-EX somehow tricked hundreds of independent shops and the entire Foundation for decades! With dozens of agents watching his every move!
Cleveland: C'mon. For every individual shop that was selling the pills, there were at least 10 more that SCP-500-EX wasn't able to convince to sell them. The guy gave us all of his documents and there were 'round 4,000 stores that refused to sell SCP-500-EX-1.
Dougherty: And how exactly does that relate to this experiment? You haven't exactly given me any reasoning or even a written hypothesis. The only thing I know is that if any of the personnel are naughty and let slip any of the information related to SCP-500-EX they get demoted to monster food.
Cleveland: I have personally traveled to around 400 drugstores that either denied to sell SCP-500-EX-1 or have sold it. All of the ones that denied it said that the pills didn't work, and the only reason SCP-500-EX-1 began to be sold was because SCP-500-EX paid the store around $10 a week to sell it while the store still got the majority of profits. Even then SCP-500-EX spent about a month having to convince people SCP-500-EX-1 worked before it finally took off. The vast majority of its success was after people were convinced it would work.
Dougherty: Then that convinced you that it was the reason why the first experiment had mixed results?
Cleveland: I've spent hours analyzing every second of the test and interviewed each of the subjects over a dozen times, and the only thing that I've noticed different is that in the first experiment, SCP-500-EX told the subjects that it would fail, and in the second I told the subjects it would work.
Dougherty: Then the Foundation just didn't realize that for 14 years! Perfectly logical.
Cleveland: The old researcher is a bum who sat back on the easiest job in the Foundation. Literally, all he had to do was watch over the production line a few times with SCP-500-EX and oversee distribution and he became one of the most important researchers.
Site-11 Junior Guard Williams Zumpano walks into the room in which the two researchers are conversing.
Dougherty: Hello Mister Zumpano. I trust you have come to report your migraine dissipating.
Zumpano: Indeed! Within the hour of taking the pills, my energy had rejuvenated! By now I am feeling berry!
Cleveland: Glad to hear it. Take your pills tomorrow to ensure that the migraines are done and dealt with, and I am glad to hear you are in great health. Do you feel any other symptoms, or did SCP-500-EX-1 cure everything?
Zumpano: Nope! I feel great!
Cleveland: Excellent.
Cleveland hands Zumpano a letter.
Cleveland: Within there are three pills. Take one tonight before you sleep, one tomorrow when you wake up, and one tomorrow when you sleep. Within $5 are also found for your participation in the experiment. Have a great night, Williams.
Williams exits the room.
Cleveland: There you have it.
Dougherty: Damn. Guess you were right. I mean, I guess there is still a chance that this is an isolated incident.
Cleveland: We'll monitor others to see if there are similar results, if there are similar results we can conclude it to be the cause of the anomaly for SCP-500-EX-1.
Dougherty: As for SCP-500-EX?
Cleveland: Probably detain them and seize their company. At least attempt to recover some of the lost finances. As for now, we should keep the results of the study classified to relevant personnel prior to further action.
Dougherty: Alright. Should we begin preparations regardless of the results to detain SCP-500-EX?
Cleveland: Of course. I shall send a report to O5-command regarding the new experiment as soon as it concludes. Tell the guards of SCP-500-EX to be on alert for reinforcements, and send additional personnel to secure the factories owned by SCP-500-EX.
Dougherty: On it.
Dougherty exits the room while Cleveland writes a report on the experiment.
Post-Experiment Report: All subjects receiving treatment via Foundation-produced specimens of SCP-500-EX-1 have recovered from their ailments. With the SCP-500-EX-1 specimens functioning the same as normal variants, it is believed that SCP-500-EX and SCP-500-EX-1 are non-anomalous, and function via the subject's belief that the pills are anomalous.
Further experimentation is to be conducted to deduce the exact science behind the effect seen in SCP-500-EX-1. Action is under review to determine the appropriate way to deal with SCP-500-EX and recuperate lost funding.
SCP-500-EX has officially been designated as explained, documents are to retroactively have "-EX" applied after "SCP-500" or prior to "-1" in all documentation and transcribed logs.
Containment-Mission 500-EX
April 11th, 1906
T-minus, four hours: Means of communication through known properties of the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation have been severed. Five of the seven factories have been seized by Foundation agents and 86% of employees have been temporarily detained. A delegation consisting of Head Researcher Cleveland, Assistant Researcher Dougherty, and four armed Foundation employees have entered Toledo, Ohio, United States, to interview and detain SCP-500-EX.
T-minus, one hour and thirty minutes: All properties owned by SCP-500-EX and the Spring Blossom Medical Corporation have been seized by the Foundation, with the exception of the Toledo factory. 89% of employees have been temporarily detained.
T-minus, forty-six minutes: All employees not actively working at the Toledo factory have been successfully detained.
T-minus, fourteen minutes: The Foundation delegation has proceeded en-route to the location of SCP-500-EX.
T-minus, two minutes: The delegation has arrived at the factory. Efforts are underway to detain all employees. Both researchers and one guard proceed to SCP-500-EX's office.
The three members of the delegation proceed into SCP-500-EX's office.
SCP-500-EX: Ah, greetings! I was unaware of your lil' visit today! If I were I would've made the office not look like shit.
SCP-500-EX laughs. The other three remain silent.
SCP-500-EX: Not much of a sense of humor? Eh, no worries. What's your business 'ere?
Dougherty: We believe there is a substantial threat to the safety of you and your enterprises, as such we are securing your facilities.
SCP-500-EX: Explains the well-dressed well-armed man. You know the telegraph lines to my other facilities ain't been working for the past few hours. It may be worthwhile to check those as well.
Dougherty: Efforts are already underway. If you may, I would like to ask you a few brief questions. But first, may you inform your employees that we are here for their safety?
SCP-500-EX: Of course! Small price to ensure ma security!
SCP-500-EX reaches for the intercom microphone.
SCP-500-EX: Attention workers, there are some fine gentlemen here with one of our company's business partners. They are here to guard our facilities from any potential dangers, as such, do not interfere with their activities and follow anything they say. They are armed, but just take that to show how safe we are. Thank you.
SCP-500-EX places down the microphone.
SCP-500-EX: As you were saying, what questions do ya have?
Dougherty: Firstly, may you tell us as to what allows you to create SCP-500-EX-1?
SCP-500-EX: Told ya already! It's a part of ma whatchamacallit… anomaly!
Dougherty: Are you sure?
SCP-500-EX: Of course! Make your own pills and try.
Cleveland: We did.
SCP-500-EX: Ah yes, Mr. Cleveland, I recall was there! From what I ponder it was a resounding failure. That is very sad.
Cleveland: It was.
SCP-500-EX: Exactly ma point! Ya need me to-
Cleveland: I'm going to cut you off there. Remember the second batch of pills we paid you to produce? Well for some reason, the second time around the pills worked.
SCP-500-EX: Oh. That's fascinating… Do ya have any clues as to how it worked?
Cleveland: Well, after days of meticulous analyzing, we discovered that there was a singular difference in the circumstances. That was you telling the subject that it would not work. So we constructed a completely new production line void of your influence, and without your presence proceeded to make new pills. The most interesting result was that subjects whom were told that the pills were SCP-500-EX-1 were surprisingly healed of their ailments. Do you have any clue as to why that was the result?
SCP-500-EX remains silent.
Cleveland: Not a clue?
SCP-500-EX: No.
Cleveland: Well, our leading theory is that SCP-500-EX-1 is actually non-anomalous. Just works via one's own belief. More importantly, we believe that you knew about this prior, and are going to get answers.
The guard walks over to SCP-500-EX and detains them.
SCP-500-EX: If you do this I will expose everything I fucking know to everyone as soon as I get out. Unhand me this instant!
Dougherty: You won't exactly be "getting out" anytime soon. You are to remain silent as we transport you to Site-11, if you do not comply we will take harsh action.
The four walk out of the office and through the factory. All of the employees have been rounded up into one room as reinforcements previously assigned to contain SCP-500-EX arrive to help keep the crowd detained.
SCP-500-EX: Did you guys fucking kidnap all of my staff? What are you going to do? Kill them all? All of this over a few thousand fucking dollars?
Cleveland: We are not going to terminate them. As we said, remain silent.
SCP-500-EX is transported to Site-11 for detainment and interogation. On April 16th, 1906, SCP-500-EX is interrogated. The transcript is recorded three (3) hours into the interview.
Cleveland: Tell the truth. If you do, you'll be let out a lot sooner than you would otherwise.
SCP-500-EX: Fine. I was reading literature, "On the Imagination as a Cause & as a Cure of Disorders of the Body" by John Haygarth. Someth'n like that. He demonstrated that one of the popular medical devices at the time worked via the same effect as SCP-500-EX-1, where the patients believed that it would work. One of my brothers got sick-
Cleveland: Pause just a second. You have brothers that you have not informed the Foundation about?
SCP-500-EX: Three of em. But one of em got sick as hell with headaches and shit and since we couldn't afford any medicine I gave him some sugar and water and told him it would cure him. Then it worked and he said he didn't have any symptoms anymore. So, after I moved back to Toledo I did a few experiments which saw similar results, and then I tried to start selling em at drug stores.
Cleveland: Then I am assuming afterward when the opportunity presented itself, you decided to scam the foundation?
SCP-500-EX: Yes.
Cleveland: I'll talk about getting you released soon, though you will likely not be for a few months if not years. In addition, your assets will be seized by the Foundation in addition to recoup lost finances. Fortunately, your personal assets are selling for a substantial sum of money.
SCP-500-EX: Fuck you.
Cleveland: Have a great day too.
O5 Consensus-500-EX-A
"Given the exemplary research by Dr. Cleveland, paired with the confession of SCP-500-EX, it has unanimously been concluded that SCP-500-EX is non-anomalous. Per the proposal of Dr. Cleveland, it has been decided to not alter the original article, in favor of maintaining the common belief among low-ranking personnel that SCP-500-EX-1 is anomalous. Due to the saved expenses on medical costs, and reduced overuse of legitimate medical facilities, SCP-500-EX-1 is to maintain use at all permanent Foundation facilities." ~O5-1
O5 Council Vote
YEA NAY ABSTAIN O5-1 O5-3 O5-8 O5-2 O5-4 O5-5 O5-10 O5-6 O5-7 O5-9 O5-11 O5-12 O5-13
Cite this page as:
"SCP-500-EX" by VapidPoem, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-500-ex. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
Filename: Homeopathic pill.jpeg
Name: Homeopathic pill.jpg
Author: Shutbjt
License: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International
Source Link: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Homeopathic_pill.jpg
Filename: Medication (AM 614757-1).jpg
Name: Medication (AM 614757-1)
Author: Aukland Museum
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International
Source Link: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Medication_(AM_614757-1).jpg
Additional Notes: The image seen in the article is a photoshopped version of the one off of wikimedia.
.jpg){kind=link}
Filename: File:Portrait of man in suit (AM 79078-1).jpg
Name: File:Portrait of man in suit (AM 79078-1).jpg
Author: Collins, Tudor Washington
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International
Source Link: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Portrait_of_man_in_suit_(AM_79078-1).jpg
.jpg){kind=link}