Instance: 6
Location: Taj Mahal - Agra, India
Size: 40m x 40m
Notes: An advert for a Japanese car manufacturer, etched into the structure by unknown means. The mausoleum has been coated with memetic nanotechnology to make the advert virtually undetectable and will need to be demolished for definite removal.
Instance: 8
Location: www.██████.com
Size: 200p x 250p
Notes: An advert for consolidated financial solutions. Embedded code identified as XHTML. Attempts to remove are unsuccessful. Site's services not interrupted due to projected financial loss, advert remains.
Instance: 9
Location: Target Import Warehouse - Savannah, Georgia, USA
Size: 27 square acres
Notes: An advert for Wal-Mart. Was painted and appeared on the roof, which is the most identifiable structure from an aerial perspective in the region. Was painted over with significant cost and labor.
Instance: 14
Location: PoI-4998-2
Size: 15cm x 8cm
Notes: An advert for Cola-Cola was spontaneously inserted onto the forehead of child movie star ██████ ████, now PoI-4998-2. Complete removal necessitated surgical excision and grafting, as the advert extended onto the subdermal and dural tissues. The incident was caught quickly enough to quell potential public and familial exposure. This resulted in cosmetic changes that ended the career of the child. Cover-story regarding a motor vehicle accident distributed.
Instance: 16
Location: 45°58′35.0″N 7°39′31.0″E
Size: ~700m x 675m
Notes: Advert for a purified, bottled water product with dynamic images depicting individuals hiking with the product prominently displayed. Corporealized upon the South-facing slope of Matterhorn and in the presence of several onlooking hikers. The possibility that SCP-4998 is "learning" to target certain demographics is now being investigated as legitimate.
Instance: 21
Address: ███████████
Size: 154p x 192p
Notes: The first of several advertisements that appear upon digital documentation on the SCiPNET server and the database's files, including files with up to Level 5 Security Clearance. Adverts combated with real-time suppression of algorithmic A.I.
Instance: 23
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Size: 14cm x 14cm
Notes: Several adverts for McDonald’s appeared at various locations on players’ jerseys over the course of the second quarter of an NBA game. The event was broadcast to an estimated audience of 1,180,000 viewers. Engineered countermemetics were promptly displayed in place of commercial inserts. Neither the percentage of viewers who noticed the manifestation nor the success of the counterinnocuoation can be accurately estimated.
Instance: 25
Location: Penn State University
Size: 54m x 28m
Notes: Several hundred were killed at a football game wherein a “white out” was being performed. An advertisement quickly manifested over the reported area, crushing and/or bisecting the civilians as it incorporated into their collective mass. The internal “logic” of SCP-4998 likely misinterpreted the collective as a negative space. Class-naught amnestics distributed via agricultural aircraft, cover-story developed around stadium structural collapse.
Instance: 30
Location: Igualada, Spain
Size: ~20m x 20m
Notes: See “Incident HABSPA”
Instance: 34
Location: 22°S 17°E
Size: ~3000m x 3000m
Notes: An inordinate advertisement promoting travel to the USA appeared across the visible sky above Namibia, Africa. The number of individuals exposed is unknown, however local airports were soon thereafter overrun with individuals wishing to travel to the USA. They were treated with class-naught memory impairment, which proved vital to information containment, and were subsequently redispersed. Their numbers were estimated in the 1.5 millions. The advertisement vanished shortly after a storm system arrived in the area 2 days later.
Instance: 45
Location: Site-49, Weaponry Annex, East wall
Size: 3.2m x 3.2m
Notes: See “PoI-4998-1”
Instance: 51
Location: Thoracic cavity of Agent Belopolsky (right upper lobe, right lower lobe, left upper lobe, left lower lobe of lungs).
Size: 3cm-10cm in diameter (4 total).
Notes: Advert for home health nursing services. Resulted in the respiratory arrest and sudden death of Agent Belopolsky. As of instance 51, SCP-4998 is assumed to be capable of complex forethought.
Instance: 54
Location: Office wall of O5-5.
Size: 1m x 1m
Notes: Advert for Liberty Life Insurance. Was taken as a deliberate threat, O5-5 evacuated and taken to ████. Security threat level for O5s escalated and protocols initiated.
PoI-4998-1
On 7/13/18, an instance of SCP-4998 appeared on Foundation Site-49's Eastern wall of the Weaponry annex that was heat-branded upon the building material. The advert, the manifestation of which was captured by video feeds, was a placeholder which read "Ad space available, inquire at [REDACTED]." Upon calling the number, an individual who referred to himself as "Miguel" answered. Below are transcripts of all conversations.
Ad
7/14/18
(The line rings.)
Miguel: And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?
Agent Belopolsky: This is Agent Charles Belopolsky.
Miguel: Ah, from the Foundation, yes? Fantastic organization. Just great.
Agent Belopolsky: So you've planted the number specifically for us?
Miguel: Naturally.
Agent Belopolsky: I'm afraid nothing about this is natural.
Miguel: Nothing comes more naturally to me than business. And I've got a lot of money. How do you think I got it? Real estate ads. Now it's everything ads. You must have been tasked with finding out how my marketing services operate. Of course. Well that means I have quite an audience. Quite an informational presentation I've got for you here. (excitedly) Is O5 listening as well? Hello! Great stuff.
Agent Belopolsky: How is it that you know of us?
Miguel: The Foundation? Ca'mon. From my history lessons. A select few of us have been taught all about the big Foundation. Y'all were the best. Were. Unbelievable though. Without you, or your anomalies rather, the wars would be much less interesting, much less profitable. What a treasure trove. Just sitting there, all with their own addresses and instructions. Just great.
Agent Belopolsky: I don't quite understand.
Miguel: Come on now, yes you do. Yes you do. Don't make me spell it out exactly, someone could be listening. Temporal anomalies, shifts, integrations, re-integrations, displacements…it's all there in your database already, no? Oops…or don't you have the required clearance level for those? Nice. Right, I forgot about that tiered system. I barely passed that history class if I recall correctly…it was some time ago…bad teacher. I told that teacher she was fired, and she was. At 9 years old, can'ya believe it?! I sure can. Good grades otherwise, the best.
Agent Belopolsky: Okay. If you're from the future and such temporal maneuvers are possible, then how haven't we been contacted by say, one of our own? Surely we would have important information to tell ourselves.
Miguel: I may have violated some minor intertemporal laws to be here. Easy for an individual of my persuasion and influence to do. Oops there I go. Ah well. Not that you have the jurisdiction to do anything about it. Or the capability. Only Nestlé does…Johnson&Johnson too, maybe. Maybe Nabisco. Definitely not anybody else, not you guys, not anymore. Me, soon, very soon. We’ll see…what you don't believe me? Trust me when I say this: believe me. Ok?
Agent Belopolsky: I see. So you are a…trans-chronal felon?
Miguel: Well it's not felonious really, just sort of illegal. There are some investigations goin on, or ongoing, I dunno. They can't really end if I keep committing crimes, can they? (chuckles) I'm kidding. I'm a kidder. People think I’m very funny, strangers do too.
Agent Belopolsky: …
Miguel: Did I lose you there? Tell me if you can hear me. Hello?
Agent Belopolsky: I'm here.
Miguel: Oh. I thought "Damn AT&T". Is that who you use? They are really losing territory. Poor management, you gotta have good managerial leadership to survive out there. You're receiving orders through the feed from your peers probably. Am I right? I have a knack for being right. That's what led me to start this business. Real successful, lemme tell you.
Agent Belopolsky: Let's cut the shit here. We're interested in the "history" of the Foundation.
Miguel: Of course. Well I won't say much, so you know. Let’s be clear. The more I stir up here in the film(?), the faster I get the Trustees knocking on my door. Ads, even big ones, are one thing…but…information of that nature is so sensitive not even your O5's could touch it. Believe me. I'm here to simply offer you monetary and military leverage in the decades to come, enough to compete with the corporations. See, one day you won't be containing anomalies, but CEOs, unnaturally powerful CEOs. Now. You’ve witnessed the influence I can create; so lets make a deal.
Agent Belopolsky: You really did fail your history lessons. There are very few if any agencies or entities in better martial posturing than we are right now. We don't see that changing or being challenged by any corporation, much less most governments. I've got to point out, you aren't very prepared for this business meeting, you haven't thought of how we would be able to trust you; you could be a saboteur. Maybe we're imposingly successful in the future and that's why you're here. With a Trojan horse.
Miguel: A Trogan wha? Sir, I am in the business of retrospective economic warfare…a black market operation of course, but the whole of the war effort is really…comparatively, I am benign, really. So many others are and need to be put into the void(?), but not me, not me. Listen, I am coming to you…show some thanks…with an offer that is mutualistic. That's all I'm here for. I am a man of my word, you'll see. Plus I already put an ad basically on your front door; I’ve got no tricks, could’ve and would’ve by now. That I'm offering you some help should be a hint to you. Ok ok, I’ll say this about your organization; turns out it is much easier to gain territory and employees when you don’t have to remain a secret from the masses. Get it?
Agent Belopolsky: Why contact us via telephone of all things?
Miguel: It's a forgotten technology. Less likely that the Trustees will catch on.
Agent Belopolsky: You've mentioned war several times now. I assume it is between these Trustees?
Miguel: Oh yes. I started this operation just before the seventh Great Corporate War actually. Started it with just a little help from my father.
Agent Belopolsky: Who makes up the armies?
Miguel: Who do you think?
Agent Belopolsky: I find the idea of corporations warring with each other and their armies being made of either employees or those loyal to the brands kind of ridiculous and unbelievable.
Miguel: Really? Is your clairvoyance really that underdeveloped? Sorry, I'm sorry really. That's no way to treat a potential client. I'm a nice guy, a good guy. Really. Look, I am genuinely shocked this is an alarming concept to you. All I can say really is that communism will not win. You guys still got commies?
Agent Belopolsky: Alright, so let me get this clear for the record: You influence the assets of major corporations as part of a future intracapitalist war effort?
Miguel: Well technically I influence the past assets of major and previously minor corporations as part of the current intracapitalist war effort. But hey I get what you mean, I get it. It's rather close to home of a concept actually, isn't it? A bit backwards in these days…the corporations sort of hide behind the war efforts instead of outwardly sponsoring them, but yes, we don't use the word "nation" or "country" anymore. Those are silly, archaic words that will get you laughed at. Not that I've been laughed at, I haven't. Ever. People take me very seriously. Unless I’m making them laugh. It's all corporations though, they run it all. Religions; they are sponsored by companies. Some have become ones themselves. Sleeping; we have ads inserted into our dreams and onto our mirrors in the morning. Eating; Nestlé sponsors the very act; 23rd Century Fox, copulation. This is all normal, real normal. Bottled water could have been your bit of foreshadowing, but hey. Nobody's perfect, mkay? Not even yours truly. Close though, very very close. Now are you interested in purchasing some ad space or not?
Agent Belopolsky: Of course we aren't. I thought you were the clairvoyant one.
Miguel: Shame. Why do you think I made such a splash with these ads? I mean we really could tap the fledgling interdimensional markets together. It'd be the best, no one has better access than me, no one. So if you ever want to put those anomalous temporal spaces to good use, you know what number to call, Agent Ambassador. Ok? Buh-bye now, buh-bye.
(The call is ended.)
05/28/19
(The line rings.)
Miguel: Yellow?
Agent Belopolsky: This is Charles Belopolsky.
Miguel: Who is this?
Agent Belopolsky: I'm with the Foundation.
Miguel: Wait wait. Just wait. I know who you are ok? I remember. You're Clairvoyant Chuck. See? I have a great memory…one of the best ever. I am the least forgetful person you have ever seen, uh'k? Now what can I do for you Ambassador?
Agent Belopolsky: We're prepared to make a deal.
Miguel: Ah! Perfect, perfect. You bluebird. I shouldn't say it, but I knew you'd call back. I have a way with deals. It's in my bloodline. So what are we looking at here? Info for money? Let me post up a bant and we will get this rolling.
Agent Belopolsky: We'll pay to you reproduce the Foundation logo within the headquarters of a GoI. Are you around a console?
Miguel: Yes.
Agent Belopolsky: I'm going to give you the reference code. It's A039d.
Miguel: I see. Okay okay. (can be heard chuckling) Wow, but is anybody really surprised? Oh my. A rival GoI, eh?
Agent Belopolsky: They currently do not have the requisite measures to qualify as a "rival". In any case, we'd like just some sporadic insignias if possible, preferably with a morale-reducing memetic in-tow.
Miguel: Ah, I see. There's just one problem. One big problem.
Agent Belopolsky: What's that?
Miguel: I can materialize the ads, but I can't guarantee they'll stay for very long.
Agent Belopolsky: Why?
Miguel: The numbers. It's no good. To stay, the ads need a certain amount of attention focused upon them to work. Very advanced for you. High-tech stuff. I guess it's kinda like the old solar energy panels you all are gaga for. What a farce. Blackouts everywhere. What a mistake.
Agent Belopolsky: That isn't really the crux of the matter, we don't need the help. Truthfully, it's the only way the Ethics committee would approve the transaction, and so the information we want. So just do what you can.
Miguel: Right. Ethics. What a farce. Blackouts everywhere. What a mistake.
Agent Belopolsky: How will we pay you?
Miguel: Write me an I.O.U. in official letterhead. I'll have it cashed in my time…there's a nice deflation going on now, conversion factor is good. Real good for Miguel. Not surprised.
Agent Belopolsky: So we do still exist by your time.
Miguel: Oops. That one was a freebie. But you didn't pull the sheet over my eyes, no. Just a little aperitif to whet your whistle. Big stuff once I can get it cashed. Not that money is that big of a deal to me, I have plenty.
Agent Belopolsky: How long until we know it has been credit—
Miguel: It's done. Right, what do you want to know?
Agent Belopolsky: …I'm not sure if you know this, but the incidence of the ads has increased 200-fold in the last six months. They are becoming bolder and more reckless in their manifestations and becoming much harder to deal with. One was found within SCP-915 for God’s sake. For IBM.
Miguel: Oo. 915 huh? Lemme see here, lemme see (typing can be heard). Ah it tapped the interdimensions. Beautiful. Not ostentatious, but effective. Nice word, I know what you're thinking. I do have some great words. What can I say? As for your problem…you know, some advice; our kids aren't really our own. They aren't, are they? Sure they look like us. But we are the bow. And they? They are the arrow, see? They…become a bow themselves. In time I guess. Anyway, doesn't matter. That's a big thought. Don't steal that one. I think big. A lot. Sometimes my thoughts are too big for even my great words, you know?
Agent Belopolsky: Are you or are you not in control of SCP-4998?
Miguel: That's what you call it? Sounds like a bad sci-fi movie. That's a mess. Look. I didn't design it, I funded it. I got it taken care of. Now I use it because that's how I told them to make it. Best thing since the printing press. If I wanted to do all the work and learning and evolving myself, I wouldn't have payed for it in the first place, now huh? Doesn't make sense.
Agent Belopolsky: I think we've heard what we need to. You better find a way to rein in its behavior because this has the potential to get out of hand quick and be to both of our detriment.
Miguel: Hmm. I never thought about it that way. Whoops. Ironic, huh? One of those self-fulfilling prominences or something, right?
Agent Belopolsky: For all your self-praise, you're a very unpleasant individual to do business with, and I want you to know that is not just from me, but from the O5 too.
Miguel: C'mon that's not nice. I think I'm a nice person. I like me. People who know me, they know.
Agent Belopolsky: How does it work?
Miguel: Okay. Okay, here's the story. It's so eas—
(The call is interrupted by a 0:30 second ad for hair restoration services. This portion of the audio has been omitted.)
Miguel:…It's so easy. Your code is so primitive. It has a lot of issues.
Agent Belopolsky: The digital is the lesser of the anomalous behaviors. What about the physical manifestations?
Miguel: What you don't know? C'mon. Don't make me spell it out for you. You already know this, the big Foundation. Right?
Agent Belopolsky: I'm not sure you even know.
Miguel: Of course I know. I payed for it. I'm not sure you could comprehend it. Not like I can. This conversation is over. Thank you. It's over, capisce? That's enough. Thank you. Thank you very much.
(The call is ended.)
07/15/19
(The line rings.)
Miguel: Clairvoyant Chuck!
: No Belopolsky is dead.
Miguel: Oh. Shame. He was a nobody really. They’ve already gotten a replacement.
: Not quite. You can call me O-7.
Miguel: Well. Hello "O-7". A great summit this will be. Truly great.
O-7: The autopsy of Belopolsky showed massive pulmonary infection secondary to foreign bodies in the lungs. It wasn't food that he aspirated, it was ads. Your ads. So you can see we’ve got a big problem here.
Miguel: Hm. Not sure I can be held responsible. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't see how it would be me.
O-7: As much as we respect and want to fully honor Agent Belopolsky, we have more pressing matters to solve right now than justice for his untimely death, and he would agree. We're more interested in finding out anything that might help contain this. It is creating spaces for itself now. Ads are everywhere. They’re in the database, in the procedures, on the walls of our chambers, in the damn bathroom stalls. We can barely get our work done here. Our communication lines are starting to feature ads Miguel, asking us to subscribe to some voice-to-speech software in order to get rid of them. This is in the field, our people's lives are on the line.
Miguel: Hmm…you know we said these calls would be about business, ya know? And this one isn't, uh'k? It's not. Nasty stuff. You are lying and are a liar. If we wa-
O-7: (interrupting) Its mimicry is becoming frighteningly precise. I just clicked on what I thought was a L-5 security clearance lock and now I’m getting spam emails about identity protection. We're having to modify our database's formatting in response but its adaptability is something we can't seem to get far enough ahead of. Now, if you can help us, we are willing to compensate you.
Miguel: Hmm. Business. Ok I see. Deal. Well she's never done this on our end. It seems the film(?) of your time is less reinforced. Weak. It probably can sniff that and sees its opening. Shame. Real good for business though, I must say.
O-7: You’ve got to know something about how this thing you’re running works. Or did you literally just buy your way into it?
Miguel: Trust me, I’ve got the best brain.
O-7: Would you mind letting me pick at that great brain of yours, speaking of which?
Miguel: By all means.
O-7: Walter D. Scott. Albert Lasker. Edward Bernays. Leo Burnett. Do these names mean anything to you?
Miguel: Oh yes. Phenomenal. Some of the best. Them and Micheal Bisqueaux, Jaden Farmer, and uh, ol' what’s his name, Benjamin Franklin. These people and their predecessors; genius. While most saw a WWI airplane spiraling out of control and thought "Oh my God, that pilot is out of control and is going to die," these guys thought things like "I wonder if I could use smoke like that to write an ad in the sky." Marvelous. Really pushed the ad from explanation to exaggeration to exploitation. Just genius I tell you. They’re all regarded really as heroes in the modern age and for good reason. You will know of their significance in a few hundred years I bet. Took it a while to catch on, always does.
O-7: Why do you remember Benjamin Franklin?
Miguel: He was the first to put illustrations in advertisements.
O-7: Not for his other contributions?
Miguel: What other contributions? Oh yeah those too, those too. Good guy. Never met him.
O-7: I see. You know Miguel, you can glean a lot of information about a society by looking to who they revere. But you can glean even more about who's pulling the strings. We may never have suspected advertising of all things giving rise to a possible Holocene-class extinction scenario. I’d like to thank you for giving us such a forewarning on the current timeline’s natural course. You've caused quite a bother but as you've heard it said; “Sometimes by losing the battle, you find a way to win the war.” I think we will ultimately be better off now that we've met. You've been a bittersweet catalyst.
Miguel: Oops. Well. Glad to be of service. Always happy to make a client happy. There’s always a good deal with Miguel. I like that quote you said too. Heard it as a kid somewhere. Not sure who said that. Anyway. Nice doing business. Contact me if we can do more.
O-7: We won't.
(The call is ended.)
The Foundation was unable to successfully detain PoI-4998-01; after each call, a discarded burner phone with a matching number was located within a 25 m radius of the positive trace, despite the contact number never varying between calls. Transaction records have been inconclusive.
Pictures recovered from the burner phones have been placed in the “Media Gallery” section.
Forensic data gathered from the phones share a 6.25% match with ██████ ████ █████. The percent suggests PoI-4998-1 is related to the individual as a fourth-degree relative. The time-frame supplied by PoI-4998-1 ("23rd century", "a few hundred years") is congruous with this assessment. The genealogy of PoI-4998-1 is currently being deduced.
Update: The biological material collected from the phones thought to have been used by PoI-4998-1 no longer exists. No additional material is able to be recovered from the phones. New instances of SCP-4998 persist. Expeditious engineering of a Thaumiel-class ad-blocker remains a top Foundation priority.
