Interview excerpt #1:
Subject #009: Male, 22 years old. Call center agent. Experiences lucid episodes.
Mr. Moulder was a regular user of psychedelics prior to his purchase of SCP-4637. The interview took place shortly after a swap to instance ⍺, reported to be the 7th swap since initial ingestion.
Dr. C. Zhu: How much can you recall of the first time this "other self" took control?
Subject #009-⍺: Um, well I really freaked out at first, and he was freaking out at the same time and he started scratching our body everywhere, you know, like he was itchy everywhere. And then he rushed to my roommate, and he started crying and hugging her, and telling her like "holy shit you have to believe me, I've been trapped inside my head for a month, that was not me this whole time", like explaining everything you know.
Dr. C. Zhu: And how were you reacting to your sudden loss of control over your actions?
Subject #009-⍺: I was thinking fast and trying to scream "I'm being possessed by some fucking demon, it's pretending it's me, you have to tie me up and not trust anything I say," but, yeah, I couldn't talk of course. And I started to calm down and figure it out.
Dr. C. Zhu: This… doesn't seem fully compatible with the working hypothesis that both you and it are the same person. If you adjusted so quickly to your new state, why was it still so distraught after it had a whole month to adjust?
Subject #009-⍺: Uh, sorry if I've been unclear, I'm trying to tell the events as I perceived them back then, you know-
Dr. C. Zhu: Don't worry, this is very clear so far. Please do go on.
Subject #009-⍺: But, yeah, even though I stopped panicking fast, I did start to get fucking distraught too just like him after I spent a month trapped in there! Like, he didn't help me or acknowledge me. But when we finally switched again, now we both knew about each other, so I started talking to him and comforting him, you know? Also now I'm really trying to focus on the slightest itches I have because we still don't really feel them all as strongly.
Dr. C. Zhu: This is really fascinating; I want you to know that I really appreciate your keen introspective work, and your willingness to cooperate with this other entity.
Subject #009-⍺: My pleasure, man!
Dr. C. Zhu: So you're trying to accommodate your "other self" by acknowledging it, comforting it, and taking its needs into account. Have you entertained the notion that perhaps, in addition to the two of you, other versions of your consciousness might exist within you, longing for a sign that you know they are there and aching for you to relieve discomforts that are barely noticeable to you, but unbearable to them?
Subject #009-⍺: I… Wow, [tensely] actually no, I've never thought about that…
[ The interview was suspended at the subject's request. ]
Such a cooperative reaction was most common in subjects with numerous prior mild experiences with psychological dissociation (whether drug-induced or symptomatic of schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder). Nonetheless, attempts to capitalize on this by administering dissociative drugs to prospective subjects before SCP-4637 ingestion failed to reduce the prevalence of unproductive behaviors (such as panic attacks, self-harm, suicide attempts, uncooperativeness towards staff, stress-induced exhaustion, lack of focus, apathy towards most stimuli, and/or explosive anger episodes). Other approaches (c.f. addendum #5) are currently under study [pending discontinuation].
Interview excerpt #2:
Subject #009 (c.f. Interview excerpt #1).
The interview took place the day following a swap to instance β, reported to be the 8th swap since initial ingestion.
Dr. C. Zhu: Can you describe the aftermath of your first ingestion of the product?
Subject #009-β: Uh, well at first I didn't even notice I didn't have control, while I was coming down everything seemed pretty normal. For the first day or so I was just kind of recovering, you know, the trip had been pretty intense. When I was driving to work the next day I started to notice my reflexes were weird, and I was like, whatever, I'll just drive a bit slower and more carefully. But I couldn't actually raise my foot. So, yeah, then I tried to just pull over on the shoulder to collect myself, and at that point I guess that was the first time I was trying to do something he wasn't doing. I panicked, because you know I was fucking driving and couldn't move the way I wanted to!
Experiments aimed at preventing the early loss of synchronization between ⍺ and β through sensory deprivation have proven fruitless. The loss of inter-lobular neuron connectivity appears to inevitably lead to an ever-increasing divergence of the two streams of thought.
Dr. C. Zhu: And how long did it take for you to calm down?
Subject #009-β: Oh, not too long after that, when we parked next to work I was just like, "okay, I'm still tripping way way too hard, that shit was definitely not acid, but whatever. I just feel way more detached than I've ever been, but my thought process is clear enough for work". And at work it was fucking great because I could just let my mind wander and meanwhile he would be handling the calls just fine. It's awesome, I've always fucking dreamed of achieving a state like that, you know? But that afternoon I started to get the itches, and it was okay for a few days but it was excruciating after a while.
Dr. C. Zhu: So save for these itches, would you say you're completely content with every aspect of your new condition?
Subject #009-β: Uh… [pause] I wouldn't say everything, no. Obviously, it's annoying when I would like to do something he doesn't. It's happened a few times. Oh, or like, when I notice something that he doesn't! It's the worst.
Dr. C. Zhu: Do you have any examples in mind?
Subject #009-β: Yeah, like when we play video games it happens all the time. We've stopped playing, like, any puzzle game because it's so frustrating.
Dr. C. Zhu: In the periods you spend as an "observer", you've mentioned attempting to regain control of your body, as most of our patients do. I'd be interested to know if during these periods you've also attempted communication with that "other self". For example in the problem-solving scenario you've just described.
Subject #009-β: Uh well yeah of course, as soon as he figured everything out and started comforting me -talking to me directly you know?- I tried to answer. I don't think it worked though. He tried to ask some yes or no questions and I tried to think of really happy or sad things, but he didn't feel that. And we never really tried again since then. It's no big deal since we can pretty much always guess correctly though, you know, since we're both just me. Right now I know for sure he's kind of bored since he doesn't get to talk, even though I don't feel like that, I really appreciate the conversation, man!
Dr. C. Zhu: Rest assured I truly value your commitment.
Experiments aimed at establishing direct communication between ⍺ and β through surgery or directed meditation have proven fruitless. Subject #009, who was the object of particular research focus since he achieved an exceptionally cooperative mindset, unfortunately died in the early stages of SCP-4637 investigation in an unrelated on-site incident.
Interview excerpt #3:
Subject #035: Female, 31 years old. Retail worker. Experiences both lucid and dreamlike episodes, and has the ability to induce them at will (which has not been observed in any other subject).
The interview took place shortly after she demonstrated her abilities by inducing several consecutive voluntary relapse events, authenticated by EHRMRI scans.
[this whole interview has been translated from Spanish]
Dr. C. Zhu: Please describe, as precisely as you can, how you give control to "the other".
Subject #035-⍺: I don't give control, she takes it from me when she's in the background. I can only take it back when I have been sent to the background. Haven't your colleagues told you about the first day she appeared?
Dr. C. Zhu: Your state of confusion at the time made it difficult for us to grasp exactly what was happening. Afterwards you described it as "deciding to switch".
Subject #035-⍺: Well, that's exactly what it is! Of course I was confused on that first day, I kept getting back to the surface but she always immediately sent me back to the background, every few seconds, for hours! I was the first who decided to stay in the background for a little while, just to make it stop. She then finally did the same for me after a few tries. I think she understands that I won't stop fighting her if she doesn't deign to stay in the background long enough for me to feel at peace.
Dr. C. Zhu: I understand better, thank you. I'd like you to please describe, as precisely as you can, how you initiate a switch?
Subject #035-⍺: [pause] It's difficult to explain. Can you breathe manually?
Dr. C. Zhu: Yes I can, I believe everyone does.
Subject #035-⍺: Well it's like that, but instead of just my lungs, I take control of everything.
Dr. C. Zhu: It doesn't take any effort?
Subject #035-⍺: Not at all, no. I just decide to do it.
Dr. C. Zhu: And what does it feel like when "the other" does it to you?
Subject #035-⍺: It feels horrible. I suddenly feel numb and light-headed, and my vision gets blurry… Every smell gets more intense for a few seconds. And my stomach rumbles a little bit, every single time. And suddenly she starts moving my muscles and I'm just a spectator, unless I push myself back to the surface. It's horrible. I'm like a worthless puppet to her. [subject starts sobbing] And she doesn't even do anything worthwhile, it's like some game to her, she just bumbles around and tells complete nonsense to the researchers to make me look stupid, and she… [subject cringes] She touches me, and she sits and stands weird just to give me little sore spots and itches everywhere- [pause]
Dr. C. Zhu: Are you alright? We can take a break if you want.
Subject #035-β: [sobbing resumes] She's lying! I'm back. I don't know what she's trying to do-
Dr. C. Zhu: Did you just switch right now?
Subject #035-β: Yes, it's actually me! Please, you're not going to really trust her, right? Why are you just listening to her? You must have a way to prove she's just pretending! Don't the scans show anything useful?!
Dr. C. Zhu: It's OK, for now we cannot tell who is the real one so I promise you we'll keep treating both of you right. Both of you, not just her, we trust you and we'll make sure you are safe.
To alleviate the strong feelings of discomfort, powerlessness, loss of intimacy and paranoia commonly reported, various tranquillizing drug regimen had been tried on other subjects, but were all deemed too mentally debilitating for practical work applications. Subject #035 frequently expressed anger, disgust and confusion about her condition, but had remarkably sparse depressive episodes and panic attacks (suggesting that the ability to voluntarily induce swaps makes "sense of powerlessness" a much weaker factor, but is insufficient to eliminate crippling emotional suffering in dual consciousness subjects).
Interview excerpt #4:
Subject #035 (c.f. Interview excerpt #3).
The interview took place 5 hours after a relapse event putting an end to a dreamlike episode, reported to be the 2nd ever experienced by the subject (contrasting with her far more numerous lucid episodes). Her previous relapse event took place two weeks before that, which was an unprecedentedly long time for her.
[this whole interview has been translated from Spanish]
Dr. C. Zhu: [entering the interview room] Hi, Ms. Galvez, thank you for waiting!
Subject #035-⍺: [tearfully] Ah, hello! I'm so glad you're here! Those technicians don't care at all, they barely respond to anything I tell them.
Dr. C. Zhu: I'm sure they do care. We've talked about this, it's just how things are done. I'm here to ask you some questions, but first you can ask me anything and I will answer, OK?
Subject #035-⍺: I want to know what she told you while I was away! I still can't believe it has been two weeks, what did she do for all this time?!
Dr. C. Zhu: Nothing remarkable. She was mostly wondering why you stayed away for so long. We did three scans to figure out what was going on. She did nothing out of the ordinary. There is some footage from the security cameras I can show you, if it'll make you feel better.
Subject #035-⍺: Yes, yes I would like that!
Dr. C. Zhu: But why don't you just ask her to tell it to you next time she resurfaces? She can talk, you can hear her!
Subject #035-⍺: Not this again! I don't care what she wants to say. It's always nasty demeaning stuff, or complete garbage about being sad because she knows you expect me to feel bad, and she won't stop trying to trick you into thinking she's me!
Dr. C. Zhu: We can work on this later. Do you remember what we told you about the "dreamlike episodes"?
Subject #035-⍺: [pause] Yes, I remember that. It was something you told her, not me. To be honest I didn't understand her excuse for spending all this time hidden, so… Well I didn't really pay attention to the theories you had for her.
Dr. C. Zhu: It… You don't… It was the same thing! A "dreamlike episode" is… [pause] You say she was "hidden", but that's not how we understand the situation, we believe she was experiencing a "dreamlike episode" like many other patients do. A period spent in the background, but during which you don't experience the world clearly. And it seems like this is also what just happened to you.
Subject #035-⍺: Of course I see the resemblance. But isn't that just a perfect proof that she knows what she's doing?! She prepared everything! She was already planning to keep me unconscious for all this time, so she pretended it happened to her first, to make it seem normal and to fool you! How else could she have known about it before it even happened?
Similar paranoid narratives were extremely common, irrespective of the psychological profile of the subject. Less intelligent subjects were quicker to become suspicious of their duplicate, but even highly-educated subjects who were thoroughly informed about the effects eventually expressed feelings of profound distrust, fear and anxiety over possible hidden motives, and came to regret their agreement to ingest SCP-4637.
Dr. C. Zhu: [pause] I hear what you have to say and respect your feelings. Your concerns are important to us and we will carefully look into them.
Subject #035-⍺: Will you really? You're being so condescending! Haven't you found out any way to actually confirm for sure your unshakeable belief that both me and her are just copies? Is the only point of your scanners to give you nice colourful pictures?
Dr. C. Zhu: [pause] We will discuss this later, alright? I promise you. Right now a good way to help us work on a cure would be to describe how you went back to the surface even though you were unconscious, this is something we truly don't understand and we need your help.
Subject #035-⍺: OK. Fine, OK. There's not much to describe frankly. It just felt like fainting, except I was suddenly in the corridor when I came back to my senses. I didn't do anything.
Dr. C. Zhu: Thank you. So you never initiated the same deliberate push that usually brings you back. Other patients who go through "dreamlike episodes" describe the feeling that they form a few imprecise new memories. Or start "imagining" things, only to learn later that they have actually happened. Can you relate to that description?
Subject #035-⍺: Um, well… People told you that? Well, maybe yes, I felt really weird but maybe… Yes, while fainting I pictured a few things, like drinking water and going in the patio to get some fresh air, or imagining how you would react. It was a bit more vivid than daydreaming, a little like when you wake up and start picturing what you plan to do with your day… So, little thoughts like that could have been actual memories?! Because, I mean, it felt so quick!
Dr. C. Zhu: What you're telling me is very consistent with accounts from other patients, so it was probably all real, yes. Would you mind trying to recall all of these thoughts, in as much detail as you can?
Subject #035-⍺: Um, first I was just drinking a glass of water… Then I saw you talking about how I fainted, and telling, um, something like, "this means that the other is unconscious for a while, so now we can tell you"- [pause] You were saying… [visibly upset] You were saying to her that you could get rid- [pause]
[ Subject #035 abruptly became belligerent, putting an end to the interview. ]
Subject #035 never stopped being violent towards staff after this incident, and had to be permanently restrained. This was one of only 4 known examples of a subject recalling precise, verbal exchanges during a dreamlike episode. Following this incident, it was agreed for safety's sake that when working with dreamlike-perception subjects, staff should avoid feeding contradictory statements to ⍺ and β (which had until then been a tolerated practice, meant to ease their anxiety and earn their dedication to productive work by indulging their hope that staff was working towards eliminating "the other").
Overview of the "Chisel" program:
Uncooperativeness and quickly deteriorating mental stability have proven to be nearly universal side effects of dual consciousness. Nonetheless, several outliers existed (e.g. Subject #009, c.f. addenda #1 & #2), suggesting that safe use of SCP-4637 is feasible if proper precautions are developed.
The "Chisel" program was launched in an attempt to pinpoint the neurological features conducive to the harmonious coexistence of ⍺ and β. Before the program, only 4 subjects out of 92 did not develop debilitating psychological issues. Among them, 3 were found to have a history of dissociative identity disorder or a history of dissociative drug abuse. It was therefore postulated that individuals with a significant, preferably lifelong incidence of such atypical traits could constitute a less problematic experimental pool.
A total of 313 new subjects have been recruited over the course of the "Chisel" program. Twenty-nine of them remained as operational as they were before the time of ingestion. A further twelve of them suffered only minor losses in efficiency over months of focus-intensive work. All the others developed the crippling mental health issues commonly observed.
Fifty-two had been selected among aspiring Foundation agents in training for cognitohazard management duties; unfortunately all proved to be part of the non-operational subset.
Several markers of brain activity were found only in the operational subset. These markers are reliably measurable through EHRMRI and/or exploratory post-mortem conductivity assays, but have not yet been successfully associated with fully understood neurological features that may be manipulated to foster the desired abilities.
Women with hyperandrogenic traits as well as men with hypoandrogenic traits were primarily sought, and amounted to two-thirds of all subjects, but none was found to have control over the timing of relapse events or to experience both dreamlike and lucid episodes.
As a proof-of-concept for potential applications, one of the most promising subjects was exposed to a euclid-class cognitohazardous entity (while her β consciousness was in control), and then secured in a subsection of its containment structure. Once her next relapse event occurred, her ⍺ consciousness was ascertained to be unaffected, allowing for an unprecedented distinction between the physical and the mental impairments caused by the entity. She was then able to effectively interact with the entity again without triggering a new attack, due to her altered physical state (presumably recognized by the entity as "already dealt with"). This had previously never been possible due to the immediate cognitive decline suffered by exposed agents.
Future work:
[section expunged: all planned research towards use of SCP-4637 by Foundation personnel is in the process of being discontinued.]
