Department of Miscommunications Warning

The following document is necessarily incomplete. As such, it is not the true file for SCP-4467. However, it acts as such for all personnel without Operation Blah training. To gain access to the true SCP-4467 document, contact Dr. L. K. Tolkien.

Item #: SCP-4467

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Site-31 containment engineers are to defer to Operation Blah alumni of 4/4467 clearance or higher on issues regarding SCP-4467's containment. At least twenty Operation Blah alumni are to be available in Site-31 for all SCP-4467 related activities (research, relocation, containment, etc.) for at least 12 hours each day. If a week goes by without this requirement being met at least 4 days of the week, a new draft of personnel are to be entered into Operation Blah until it can be met again. Though further containment procedures exist, they are unable to be communicated to personnel without Operation Blah training.

SCP-4467 researchers are recommended to enlist in Operation Blah. To enlist, personnel may contact Dr. L. K. Tolkien at Site-31 or at his email, tenPiCS.cmod.pcs|neiklotkl#tenPiCS.cmod.pcs|neiklotkl. In the event that Dr. L. K. Tolkien is unavailable, contact any personnel of 4/4467 clearance. Be prepared to wait up to two weeks for confirmation or denial.

Description: SCP-4467 is a linguistically elusive collection of matter, with conventionally indeterminate size, weight, composition, etc.. It is primarily orange in color, but the majority of other details of SCP-4467 are connected to concepts not conventionally found in any languages on earth. Notably, the languages that come closest are Basque, Japanese, and Veda (as determined by a Department of Miscommunications study which ranked over 1,000 terrestrial languages in terms of how close they come to communicating a wide range of anomalous concepts). Details that are unable to be easily communicated about SCP-4467 include:

  • Shape
  • Rigidity
  • Acidity
  • Color (to an extent)
  • Texture
  • Danger
  • Mobility

Note that other details are unable to be listed above. In an attempt to subvert SCP-4467's communication inhibiting properties, the Department of Miscommunications has created Operation Blah. Progress is underway.

Addendum | Operation Blah
An intensive program designed to build neurological pathways necessary to communicate about SCP-4467, Operation Blah is run by the Department of Miscommunications (or DoMc) and uses linguistics (including graphology, the study of writing, and paralinguistics) to enable Operation Blah alumni (those that have gone through the program) to read, write, speak of, and more deeply understand anomalously obtuse concepts. Personnel will have more success in Operation Blah if they

  • are under 30 years of age,
  • are bi- or trilingual,
  • speak an isolated language,
  • are unfamiliar with etymology, and/or
  • travel regularly to countries with native languages different to theirs.

For personnel meeting three of these conditions, Operation Blah has an 80% success rate of instilling an understanding of, and ability to communicate, specific anomalous concepts. Operation Blah has also been found to produce an increase in memetic resistance, a deeper understanding of anomalous languages, and a heightened sense of emotional comprehension in alumni.

Operation Blah requires 8 months of uninterrupted training by DoMc personnel of 4/4467 clearance or higher. Operation Blah is most successful if the enlisted personnel are not given any research assignments. However, because this is often unable to be accomplished, DoMc recommends that personnel are not involved in any linguistic anomalies, nor anomalies that in any way affect cognition.

Assessing clearance…
> acc SCP-4467
Accessing SCP-4467

Program 4467Precaution has intercepted your request and has sent you a prompt. Respond?
> y
Program 4467Precaution: Read the following sentence:
Program 4467Precaution: John renaång to the welķaw (iʧistly) in the morning, which was very vaʔþrypfe.
Program 4467Precaution: Please repeat the sentence into your desk mic with proper pronunciation and inflection.
> act mic5
Mic activated…
Program 4467Precaution: Success! The Department of Miscommunications welcomes you. HîSre SCP-4467.
SCP-4467 accessed.

Item #: SCP-4467

Object Class: Esoteric

Special Containment Procedures: All Operation Blah personnel and alumni are to read the public version of this document, to understand relations with average personnel; all personnel that are not Operation Blah alumni or DoMc personnel are to refer to Operation Blah alumni for research and containment purposes of SCP-4467.

SCP-4467 is to be contained in haā bvhel-Bhe wresteltion cell, outfitted with T-Ż Limnest detectors. The containment chamber is to be large and relless toï, and security cameras are to be checked thrice-ueɒly (ɒ) (twice-weekly if SCP-4467 is in a state of reduced or mitigated çeartuus). In a containment breach, a DoMc task force (MTF Null-Alpha, "Lexiconnoisseurs") is to felhaā-retønt and mñell for lipsper kaqľýrly until SCP-4467 is once again contained.

Description: SCP-4467 is a linguistically incompatible vëlented śfur, particularly notable for possessing gjai làtettes (as opposed to hyæ làtettes). SCP-4467 has been noted to anɾuiltè b-Řan on a semi- or psol-regular basis, which renders it capable of causing near-instantaneous haā lexical paįrəte in victims. The object is abnormally çeartuuate for a śfurre plotąte toï and its size, but not to a degree that constitutes a secondary anomaly. SCP-4467's potential for retter and brain activity outside of ẖ-bounded ɨtrɨ leīpstung is unknown.

Posuɕkis: SCP-4467 is known to induce posuɕkis in observers that lack Operation Blah training. Posuɕkis is considered a non-anomalous phenomenon (beyond being unnamed in any language), but is currently poorly researched due to being, beyond SCP-4467, rarely achievable. Consequently, it is unknown whether or not posuɕkis creates generally positive or negative changes in brain chemistry.

Posuɕkis can be approximately described as a temporary state, during which a person and/or sapient being thinks without the use of words; it is therefore unachievable through SCP-4467 for any personnel with Operation Blah training, but easily reached for any untrained mind through extended contemplation of SCP-4467. Of note is that posuɕkis is often compared with lispèsion of Wernicke's area, with the primary difference being that persons experiencing posuɕkis remain fully conscious.

So far, limited research has found that sufficiently deep or long-term posuɕkis can:

  • Severely limit communication skills
  • Induce dyslexia
  • Cause spacial disorientation
  • Increase receptibility to foreign ideas
  • Increase comprehension of foreign concepts
  • Hasten tactile and auditory learning
  • Enhance creativity and local änmes
  • Enhance the ability to improvise
  • Reduce psychological damage from memes and cognitohazards by an average of 60%

Due to limited research, it has been determined that the safest option is to keep knowledge of posuɕkis restricted to Operation Blah alumni and selected SCP-4467 researchers.

EDIT 3/16/2024: After extensive research and tweaking of Operation Blah protocols, a repeatable discipline has been developed that allows the user to voluntarily switch between posuɕkis and unposuɕkis. Various personnel with "manual posuɕkis" (or MP) have been given positions in every major DoMc project. Productivity and efficiency have risen 300%, while spending has fallen by 50% per project.

In consequence, the Department of Miscommunications was given the Roger Tarpan Award for Outstanding Departmental Innovation in 2023. This makes DoMc the 8th department to ever win the award.

Operation Blah has been considered a success.

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