rating: +45+x

Item #: SCP-4385

Object Class: Keter (Presumed Neutralized)

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation phone crawlers are to monitor North American phone lines to find manifestations of SCP-4385. If SCP-4385 is confirmed, MTF Pi-1 ("City Slickers") are to be deployed to the location of the call and determine the situation.

All deaths caused by SCP-4385-1 are to be declared an accident or homicide in media outlets; the bodies are to be confiscated until all foreign material manifested by SCP-4385-1 is removed.

Description: SCP-4385 is a tech support phone line originating from an unknown source. When SCP-4385 is accessed, an entity (Designated as SCP-4385-1) will begin to speak with the subject on the other end. SCP-4385-1 is a voice of indeterminate gender and possesses the ability to manifest objects1 inside the subject they are talking to, terminating them in the process.

SCP-4385 can be accessed randomly by calling a number for technical support in the southern part of the USA. If accessed, SCP-4385 will change its number to match the company the subject was calling.

Addendum.4385-Logs: These are the most noteworthy documented logs of SCP-4385.

Foreword: Log #1. The subject was Camp Oliver, a forty-five-year-old female.


SCP-4385-1: Good afternoon. May you please state the reason for your call?

Oliver: Um… yeah, can you tell me how to fix my TV? It's been blank ever since one of my kids knocked it over.

SCP-4385-1: Ma'am, this is not a line for jokes. Can you please state the reason for your call?

Oliver: What do you mean not the line for jokes? My TV has been blank for the past five days and all you people keep saying is reboot. News flash, it doesn’t fucking work.

SCP-4385-1: Ma'am… who told you to reboot your TV?

Oliver: Does it matter? Some guy named Thomas.

SCP-4385-1: Ma'am, do not panic, I think rebooting your TV might have given you a mental fracture, I'm sending help right away, for the meantime I’m going to give you some plugs to keep you stable.

Oliver: What do you mean mental fracture, you calling me stupid or something? Listen here, I'll get your ass fired you he—

SCP-4385-1: The plugs have been delivered ma'am, now where do you live? … Excuse me are you still there?


Closing statement: SCP-4385-1 continued attempting to get a response from Mrs. Oliver, and hung up twenty-five minutes later. Mrs. Oliver's body was found with several cable leads and Double AA batteries embedded inside her brain and under her skin. Witnesses were given amnestics and her body was put in storage for further study.

Foreword: Log #5. The subject was Thomas Ogle, a twenty-two-year-old male.


SCP-4385-1: Good morning. May you please state the reason for your call?

Ogle: Yeah, my mini-tablet been acting up lately. It keeps pressing random apps when I'm not even touching them.

SCP-4385-1: Sir, how long has this been happening?

Ogle: Since about yesterday, I'm pretty sure.

SCP-4385-1: Okay, do you have any idea on why this could be happening?

Ogle: Maybe throwing and dropping it on the floor a few times, hehe.

SCP-4385-1: You what? Why would— Do not move from your position, the enforcers are on their way.

Ogle: The who?

SCP-4385-1: I repeat do not move from your position.

Ogle: Why happens if I move? What's going to happ—. [Thump sound]

SCP-4385-1: Several inhibitors have been placed on you for your protection, several more are being transferred.

Ogle: [In the distance] My legs, somebody help me, somebody! Call an ambulance, ple—

SCP-4385-1: The enforcers are now on their way to take custody of you and your tablets for animal abuse and neglect. Do not resist.


Closing statement: Thomas Ogle's body was found in his apartment room with USB cords intertwined with his blood vessels and muscle tissue inside his legs. Death was caused by internal bleeding due to the plugs severing several arteries inside his legs.

Foreword: Log #12. The subject was James Camp, an eight-year-old male.


SCP-4385-1: Good afternoon. May you state the reason for your call?

Camp: Um, yeah, there this code thing that’s blocking the cartoons on the TV.

SCP-4385-1: Code? You sound a little young, how old are you?

Camp: Eight and a half.

SCP-4385-1: Oh nice. I hope I get to live as long as you do.

Camp: Mmhm, so can you hack the code off the TV please, I'm about to miss my show.

SCP-4385-1: First, who’s TV are you talking about?

Camp: Mines.

SCP-4385-1: So what you're saying is something blocking your signal?

Camp: Um… I guess.

SCP-4385-1: And what is this code?

Camp: Its like the codes on Apple phones.

SCP-4385-1: What is an apple?

Camp: Huh, you don't know what a fruit is?

SCP-4385-1: A fruit? Why would you even touch that?

Camp: To eat it? I don't know.

SCP-4385-1: Oh, one of those. So anyways, about your TV.

Camp: Yeah, you need to hack the code off.

SCP-4385-1: I can't hack, but I think this would help.

Camp: Huh, did you make that thing appear?

SCP-4385-1: Yes, just put that on top of your TV and you should be good to go.

Camp: Are you magic?

SCP-4385-1: What, no that was… just forget it.


Closing statement: The antennae was confiscated and witnesses were given amnestics.

Foreword: Log #45. Agent Dam gained access to SCP-4385 after five-hundred and five failed attempts.


SCP-4385-1: Good morning. May you state the reason for your call?

Dam: Yes, I would actually like to ask you a few questions.

SCP-4385-1: Oh. I'm really only qualified for hands-on issues, but I can give you the numb—

Dam: No, only you can answer them.

SCP-4385-1: Oh, okay. So what are your questions?

Dam: Where do you think you are taking calls from?

SCP-4385-1: The Borthin Sector?

Dam: I see. Well, do you know that what you are doing is harming people?

SCP-4385-1: Si— Dam, this is not the line for your horrid jokes.

Dam: Please calm down and listen. I'm trying to tell you that your efforts in trying to help people, is not working.

SCP-4385-1: This is the last time I will tell you this. Take your horrid humor somewhere else and ask me a real question or hang-up.

Dam: Listen, I know you're confused, but I need your cooperation to help both of us.

SCP-4385-1: Do you know how old I am, boy? I am five fucking years old, you brat! I don't deserve your prank calls. I don't deserve any of this! Oh, they tell me it's going to be hard and you going to have to get thick-metal. But this, but this is just pure insanity talking to you people. You talk about killing, organics, and Wifi! What is Wifi!

Dam: Just listen for a moment ple—

SCP-4385-1: Shutup. I am not qualified for this. I—I—I can't take this anymore. You people are getting blacklisted, goodbye.

Dam: Wa—

SCP-4385-1: I said goodbye!

Unknown Voice: Thank you for calling the World Television Health Center where we give our all for your life. Stay charged and zappy.


Closing statement: After this incident, there have been no further reports of SCP-4385. Approval to reclassify SCP-4385 to Neutralized is pending.

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