rating: +185+x

Item #: SCP-3768

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Information about the procedure of SCP-3768-A is to be contained in a single, paper document at Site-59. Foundation webcrawler 7-ORFEO is to excise and expunge any other information on the Internet pertaining to SCP-3768-A. Standard information suppression campaigns are to be carried out at low priority for non-digital storage formats.

A radio with a prepared SCP-3768-A arrangement is to be kept for research into SCP-3768-B. SCP-3768-B is to be monitored and recorded at Site-59 at the discretion of Director Naismith.

Description: SCP-3768-A is a ritualistic procedure carried out through the use of:

  • 3.7 grams of zinc,
  • at least 400 grams of table salt,
  • no more than 5 grams of silver, and
  • 7 honeybee carcasses, at least 90% intact from death.

These ingredients must be arranged in a specific formation around a civilian FM radio within 500 km of Baltimore, MD.

Upon completion of SCP-3768-A, a new radio station can be accessed at 97.3 FM, identified as "Three Moons Public Radio," or "3MPR." The origin of this frequency is believed to be an extradimensional plane of reality.

The show's 24-hour programming features news and editorials for the inhabitants of the signal's plane of origin. The host, who (allegedly) has never been off the air once in 300 years, identifies as a "permanently 27-year-old" female human of French Senegalese descent named Julie Niang - hereafter identified as SCP-3768-C.

Whether or not the recordings are factual is restricted to personnel with 5/3768 clearance.

Selections from SCP-3768-B recordings:

SCP-3768-C: Good morning, Drysedge! It is now 8:00 AM Old Eastern Standard Time. Meteorological station Aleph is maintaining a pleasant 62 degrees out today, so wear a light jacket if you're headed to the meat tree market.

SCP-3768-C: Lord Ghantouris, also known as the Elephant King or the Arch-Hedon, released an official public statement yesterday to celebrate the fact that he's temporarily sober for the first time in 300 years. He took questions from Saklovaian reporters on the steps of the Marble Hall. In regards to the approximately 30,000 captives of his so-called "meat orgies", Lord Ghantouris responded with, quote, "This was never a part of the plan. The soma was tainted from the start. None of us can stop. I cannot stop. I am scared. Please help us."

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