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Doggone it, I Fold!, by Cherise Schultz (2005).

Item #: SCP-3546

Object Class: Neutralized (formerly Euclid)

Special Containment Procedures: All works produced by SCP-3546 are to remain in Foundation custody. As these items are non-anomalous, no further action is required.

Description: SCP-3546 was Cherise Schultz, a 63-year-old widow previously residing in Cherry Hill, New Jersey (United States). Ms. Schultz reproduced works of art which were indistinguishable (physically, chemically, or otherwise) from their authentic counterparts. Until 2012, Ms. Schultz's works were regularly purchased by a private firm for use in high-profile instances of forgery, theft, and fraud.

Ms. Schultz produced these works from non-anomalous materials (typically acrylic paint), applying them in such a way that their arrangement and composition were anomalously transformed into a work identical to one which she had no prior knowledge of. She reproduced several hundred paintings, frescoes, and sculptures during her career; collectively, these works are estimated to have grossed profits in excess of several hundred million (US) dollars.

Ms. Schultz sold each work for fifty (US) dollars (excluding costs of shipping and handling).

Addendum 3546.1: Initial Interview


DATE: 2012/07/21
INTERVIEWER: Cmdr. Robert Malthus
SUBJECT: Cherise Schultz


MALTHUS: Ms. Schultz, are you —

SCHULTZ: Oh, please, call me Cheri.

MALTHUS: Are you familiar with this painting?

SCHULTZ: Oh, that looks like… hm. Yes, I recognize it. 2007, I think? I remember, because I finished it right before that whole awful market crash. Thank God my husband's pension wasn't touched. He always had a head for money.

MALTHUS: This is Girl with a Pearl Earring.

SCHULTZ: Is that what I called it? I can't remember the —

MALTHUS: It was painted by Johannes Vermeer.


MALTHUS: What about this one?

SCHULTZ: That's — I did that one in 2009. A Farmer's Life. What is this —

MALTHUS: This is American Gothic, by Grant Wood. It was painted in 1930.


MALTHUS: And this?


SCHULTZ: What is this about?

MALTHUS: Do you recognize this work, Ms. Schultz?


SCHULTZ: Yes. I finished it just last year. I was very proud of it. One of my largest pieces. I call it Barnyard Hijinks.

MALTHUS: This is Pablo Picasso's Guernica.


SCHULTZ: Who are you?

MALTHUS: Ms. Schultz, where did you learn to paint?

SCHULTZ: I — I don't know. After my husband died, I just started — I don't know. I just needed a creative outlet. I love painting. I'm very good at it. It just came naturally. That's normal, right? Natural talent. I'm a very expressive person, and I just thought that — who are you?

MALTHUS: Ma'am, I need you to come with us.


Addendum 3546.2: Test Logs

The following are logs of Ms. Schultz's various attempts to produce an original work while in Foundation custody.


DATE: 2012/08/15

ATTEMPT: Subject attempted to produce something surreal, nonsensical, and random.
RESULT: Identical reproduction of The Persistence of Memory (by Salvador Dalí).

NOTES: "I didn't think anyone would have painted melting clocks, or flies, or — why would anyone have painted something like this?"


DATE: 2012/08/22

ATTEMPT: Subject slashed randomly at a canvas with paint for several minutes.
RESULT: Identical reproduction of Convergence (by Jackson Pollock).

NOTES: "I just slapped paint on the canvas. That's all I did. Someone already made this?"


DATE: 2012/10/06

ATTEMPT: Subject painted seven canvases white.
RESULT: Identical reproduction of White Painting [seven panel] (by Robert Rauschenberg).

NOTES: "I knew someone must have made something like this, but I didn't think someone would have done seven of them."


DATE: 2013/05/14

ATTEMPT: Subject used acrylic paint to anomalously produce a ceramic urinal.
RESULT: Identical reproduction of Fountain (by Marcel Duchamp).

NOTES: "I thought I had it that time. I really did."


DATE: 2014/09/21

ATTEMPT: Subject painted a crude approximation of a cartoon character she once saw.
RESULT: Initially thought to be original, later determined to be an identical reproduction of a work posted online.1

NOTES: "I'm never leaving this place, am I?"


DATE: 2016/11/02

ATTEMPT: Subject drew an image of two stick-figures, several cats, and a house.
RESULT: A researcher immediately identified the work as identical to one his 7 year-old daughter had produced a week prior.

NOTES: "I miss Harold. I miss my cats. I want to go home."


DATE: 2018/12/05

ATTEMPT: Subject used acrylic paints to anomalously create a firearm, then discharged it into her forehead.
RESULT: Researchers determined that this suicide was identical to that of Ernest Hemingway's.

NOTES: Object class updated from Euclid to Neutralized.

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