SCP-3449

Info

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SCP-3449: The Things Left Unsaid

Choose your words carefully.

For those of you who cannot access the multimedia elements on the second to last and last iteration, a transcription of those pages can be found here

Author: Captain Kirby

SCPs

SCP Number	Rating
SCP-3393	1096
Captain Kirby's Proposal	702
SCP-4514	561
SCP-5552	537
SCP-3448	521
SCP-3844	456
SCP-3388	451
SCP-5003	408
SCP-3305	393
SCP-3866	391
SCP-3449	351
SCP-4877	348
SCP-4321	323
SCP-016-J	236
SCP-3123	212
SPC-1057	201
SCP-3511	198
SCP-3393-EX	192
SCP-7100	191
SCP-3633	180
SCP-6007	178
SCP-4925	177
SCP-4479	162
SCP-3767	159
SCP-4316	147
SCP-4775	137
SCP-4034	130
SCP-5877	95
SCP-3650	94
SCP-5448	81
SCP-3203	64
SCP-5779	63
SCP-3405	51
SCP-3481	46

Tales

Title	Rating
Impossible-To-Destroy Reptile	430
In The Clutches Of Life	331
The Nuclear Option	300
Numbers, Like Stories, Never Die	283
Excerpts From The Societal Census Programme ΩK-Class Report	203
With The Reaper On Retirement	197
Tales of the Ethics Committee: 5 Reasons The Foundation Wants A Robot Army	193
The Tombstone of Alto Clef	180
Do You Remember Funerals?	150
Don't Get Used To It	136
The Many Portraits Of Jack Bright	132
Where Death Used To Live	131
Group Date	131
From The Clutches Of Life	126
Project Damnerung	126
Monochrome	124
Hello, My Name Isn't	119
Hundred-Year Favor	108
Even The Most Masked Of Men Become Themselves Behind Closed Doors	97
You Have 18 Unread Messages	94
Everyday Is Somebody's Birthday	82
The Shape of a Noose	69
A Failed Two Weeks Notice	63
Rocks And Trees Are Not Good Company	60
Pink Cracks in a Digital Wall	59
'Til Death Do Us Part	57
Poky And Pal Scheme Together	52
Is Anybody Home?	51
Poky And Pal Arm Themselves	48
Carnivores	45
A Eulogy In 11/8 Time	44
Tears of a Neon God	41
Virtue	39
I Felt Numb	39
When It Rains, It Pours	38
It's A Nice Day Out	36
Attempts To Salvage Thought	33
I Am Wonderful	33
God-Knows-Where	31
They Are Not Laughing With You	28
Outrun	25
What Is There To Do With A Pot Of Gold?	22
Containment's A Beach	20

GOI Formats

Title	Rating
Captain Kirby's Proposal, Or Something	178
My Head Is On Fire And I'm (Not) Ok	92
Project Proposals 2004-013/2014-114/2024-072: "Losing Your Cool"	67

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More information

More information

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NOTICE FROM THE RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

You are currently viewing an out of date version of this file that has been preserved for posterity. Please note that information presented herein may be misleading or incorrect.

Item #: SCP-3449

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3449 is to be held in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site 19. Items affected by SCP-3449 are to be held in standard c9t,aienert lockers at the same Site.

Description: SCP-3449 refers to a 34 year-old Caucasian male named Edward Selsburgh¹ who is likely responsible for the creation of a number of anomalous items recovered by the Foundation. It was a creator and distributor of anomalous items. Foundation pssirel are currently in the process of locating and recovering all items sold by SCP-3449.

SCP-3449’s anomalous properties manifest in lal documentation written about an assortment of items related to SCP-3449². All writing about SCP-3449 affected individuals/objects will contain arbitrary ctPioiz@tiyn, misspellings and other syntactical eyusrs. Attempts to revise or correct the writing will either fail to remove the errors, or create new errors.

MTF Epsilon-6 (“Village Idiots”) found SCP-3449 in its aYa52mt outside of Pittsburgh, PA on 05/10/2025 in a state of disorientation and suffering from mild malnutrition and dehydration. Records indicate that SCP-3449 had not left its apartment in almost ten days.

Addendum SCP-3449-1: Log of SCP-3449 affected items

Item	Notes
Notebook	All entries are either torn hcu, illegible, or incoherent.
Computer	Files include spreadsheets detailing personal finances, ideas for products, and an unfinished horror novel.
Grocery List	“buter” was spelled with only one “t”, and “medication” was spelled “medicashun”.
Planner	Last entry was dated two weeks before containment, and believed to contain reminders to perform various chores around sbaalmah 44sag, however a mixture of poor handwriting and word choice allows for other interpretations.
Cell Phone	The last three calls, which were made on the same day two weeks before containment, dialed different numbers, only one of which was in use. Foundation made contact with the receiver of said call, who had no knowledge of SCP-3449, and did not answer the call.

Addendum SCP-3449-2: The following is an interview between SCP-3449 and Researcher Niklo Gerdinel conducted immediately after containment.

► Open Interview Log

<Begin Log>

SCP-3449 rocks back in forth in its chair. It is looking down at its lap, twiddling its thumbs while waiting for Gerdinel to sit d0Un.

Gerdinel: Hello SCP-3449.

SCP-3449 stops rocking and makes eye contact with Gerdinel.

Gerdinel: Um, We have some questions we’d like to ask.

SCP-3449 swallows.

Gerdinel: How have you been making your… products for your buposnutS?

SCP-3449 smiles and shakes its head.

Gerdinel: You know, if you just spoke to us this could be over much quicker.

SCP-3449 stops shaking its head. It raises an eyebrow at Gerdinel.

Gerdinel: Is there something wrong with that?

SCP-3449 puts its head in its hands.

Gerdinel: I, uh, I assume this isn’t your choosing then. Can you still answer the question?

SCP-3449 looks asbt up, shakes its head and waves Gerdinel off.

Gerdinel: How about tomorrow?

SCP-3449 shrugs.

<End Log>

As of this writing, SCP-3449 has not spoken. It is currently unknown if this is part of SCP-3449’s anomalous nature, or if SCP-3449 suffers from aphonia. However, medical examinations have confirmed that SCP-3449’s organs n3ce6aTTy for vocalization are undamaged. Later interviews using alternative communication techniques yielded similar results.

SCiP Net: Page revision from 05/12/2025

Next iteration from 06/03/2025

Footnotes

1. Previously designated POI-4335

2. This includes SCP-3449 itself