"Wind"
Special Containment Procedures: None because everyone is happy thinking this is normal when it's NOT.
Description: SCP-3434-J is the collective term for a bunch of random rubbish that doesn't make any sense.
SCP-3434-J-1 is commonly referred to as the wind. The wind is a force that makes air move things.
SCP-3434-J-2 is commonly referred to as magnetism. Magnetism is where metal can sometimes pull in other metals.
SCP-3434-J-3 is commonly referred to as electricity. Electricity is used to charge batteries.
SCP-3434-J-1 Testing Log
Delusion.
Below is a list of all the things I've used the wind for that don't make any sense.
Test: Move a leaf without touching it.
Result: Leaf suddenly got pushed off of the table and fell onto the ground slowly. How?
Test: Give an object the sacred power of avians: flight.
Result: Kite came off of the ground and flew into the air. Didn't even have wings.
Test: Charge my phone by forcing the wind to do labour (righteous).
Result: Made a little version of one of those big fans in the ocean. Wind refused to push fan wheel and give me power (lazy).
SCP-3434-J-2 Testing Log
After testing SCP-3434-J-1, I wanted to figure out what SCP-3434-J-2 can do.
Test: Put a magnet in the shape of a horse shoe (optimal?) next to some metal.
Result: Magnet pulled the metal to itself and wouldn't let go.
Test: Put a magnet next to a different metal.
Result: Didn't pull it in this time. Might know I'm onto it.
?????????????????
Test: Have two magnets fight each other.
Result: They both ran away when they started getting close together. Pussies.
Test: Get a bigger magnet and pull a car.
Result: My magnet got stuck to the car and won't come off.
SCP-3434-J-3 Testing Log
Really cool thunder bolt.
To be honest I think electricity is actually sick but I have to be scientific.
Test: Plug my phone in to charge.
Result: My phone charged to full in 3 hours after it wasn't working at all. How did the electricity know not to go over 100%?
Test: Plug heater in and see what it does.
Result: Heater got warm. Electricity cannot make its mind up, clearly good at multiple things like me.
Test: Stick a fork in the outlet so I can have an electric trident.
Result:
