rating: +67+x

Item #: SCP-3292

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: The area surrounding SCP-3292 is to be fronted as a privately owned nature reservation under the ownership of senior researcher Chelsea Grant, and funded by Halcyon Industries. Trespassers are to be taken to Site-990 for questioning, administered Class-B amnestics, and released. Air traffic over SCP-3292 is to be rerouted.

Two level-2 guards are to be stationed outside of the entrance to SCP-3292, outfitted in uniforms appropriate to private rangers employed by Halcyon Industries. Instances of SCP-3292-3 attempting to enter SCP-3292 through its primary entrance are to be detained by Foundation agents and brought to Site-990 for testing.

On site task force Psi-31 "Animal Lovers" are to regularly monitor the WWF's endangered species list for fluctuations in numbers.

Description: SCP-3292 is an extradimensional location accessible through the ████ Forest in ████████, Scotland. Despite the area surrounding SCP-3292 being a coniferous forest, SCP-3292 is a complex system of caves, grottos, and groves all leading to a central hub area that resembles an oakwood forest. SCP-3292 is in a perpetual state of the spring season.

Day and night cycles have been observed coinciding with baseline reality in SCP-3292, though the effects of the passage of time do not seem to affect anything within SCP-3292. Entities and objects within the forest will not display negative effects of aging, regardless of how much time is spent within SCP-3292.

Exploration of SCP-3292 has proven to be exceptionally difficult due to effects on technology. Electronics and complex machinery brought into SCP-3292 cease functionality immediately upon entry, prohibiting the use of drones. It is hypothesized electronics fail due to the electromagnetic fields present throughout SCP-3292, though there is no current explanation for non-electrical machinery. Currently, Foundation agents have mapped out approximately 35km² from SCP-3292-2.

SCP-3292-2 is the designation of a statue 17m in height composed of a combination of igneous and sedimentary rocks. SCP-3292-2 resembles a human of indeterminate sex and ethnic background, and appears to be sitting with its legs crossed and hands cupped in its lap. 87% of the surface of SCP-3292-2 has been carved with several elaborate scenes depicting organisms from a number of time periods. Scenes and identified organisms include:

  • Brachiopods and trilobites from the Ordovician period
  • Early terrestrial arthropods from the Devonian period
  • Primitive Synapsids and terrestrial invertebrates from the Permian period1
  • Therapsids and archosaurs from the Triassic period
  • Herbivorous ornithischians and theropods from the Cretaceous period

Test results have shown that SCP-3292-2 was created roughly 2.5 million years ago, coinciding with the evolution of the genus homo. However, SCP-3292-2 has not shown signs of weathering consistent with non-anomalous artifacts of a similar age or composition.

SCP-3292-2 has demonstrated the ability to shed and rejoin pieces of itself measuring up to 1% of its original mass. In all instances, these pieces take the form of animate pebbles arranged in a humanoid shape with distinct limbs, a head, and torso, henceforth referred to as SCP-3292-3. SCP-3292-3 are animate, and are kept intact by an anomalous attractive force that levitates their body parts up to .5cm away from their torsos. SCP-3292-3 range in height from 5cm to 18cm.

The observed sole purpose of SCP-3292-3 is a caretaker role. SCP-3292-3 have been observed to tend to the emotional and physical needs of SCP-3292-4, observe visitors to SCP-3292, and escort SCP-3292-4 into SCP-32922. SCP-3292-3 are presumed to act on SCP-3292-2's behalf, as SCP-3292-2 is immobile.

SCP-3292-4 is the collective designation for the flora and fauna of SCP-3292. All of SCP-3292-4 have been observed to be organisms thought to be extinct or are critically endangered3. SCP-3292-4 do not require sustenance, and do not carry out standard biological processes. From a medical standpoint, all of SCP-3292-4 are clinically deceased.

Should an individual attempt to remove SCP-3292-4 from the vicinity of SCP-3292, multiple instances of SCP-3292-3 will attempt to apprehend them. However, SCP-3292-3 are unable to physically restrain any human due to their minute size, and are considered to be harmless. Apprehension attempts have included SCP-3292-3 pulling on the pant legs of personnel, ambushing their feet, tugging hair, hitting shins, and clinging to their clothing.

Addendum-01: On 09/01/██, Foundation personnel attempted to remove an instance of SCP-3292-4 (one Raphus cucullatus4) from SCP-3292 through the primary entrance. SCP-3292-3 were unsuccessful in retrieving the instance, and Foundation personnel managed to escort the instance 12m from the entrance before the instance expired. Within three seconds, the instance of SCP-3292-4 began a rapid process of decay, and within twenty-eight seconds, only the skeletal system remained. No further attempts by Foundation personnel are to be made to remove any instance of SCP-3292-4 from SCP-3292.

Recovered Documentation-3292: The following journal was retrieved by Foundation personnel after the initial discovery of SCP-3292. The journal was found in SCP-3292-2's lap, and despite being dated as over a century old, was recovered in mint condition. Excerpts of note are documented below.


I've stumbled upon something extraordinary today, and by the very Queen herself I'd swear that this may mark a certain turning point in my expedition.

In my hunt for the viking treasures of Clan Gunnir, my ventures brought me to the outskirts of a small fishing port town just outside of Grangemout. It was here that I learned from the local butcher of an ancient and mystical forest, watched over by a guardian of immeasurable power. He assured me it was simply a fable passed between the children, though I've never been one to leave a stone unturned!

The journey was strenuous. Horrid rains battered against my back, and the winds were so powerful I was nearly blown away! I traveled many miles with little signal of an impending destination, until from over the hills, I saw the tree lines. Thousands of conifers reaching towards the heavens in symphonic unison, a kingdom of timber begging me to explore what laid inside.

I was so collywobbled, I had nearly forgotten my homburg on the rock where I had stopped to take a breath! Without sparing another moment, I pressed forward past the wooden giants, and entered the forbidden conclave of trees.
Even now, I am in awe of what I found.

As I entered the forest, the rain that had been ceaselessly clambering against me came to a sudden halt, in much of a similar fashion to the drought dance of the UliayahUliayah tribe. Warmth enveloped me in a blanket, the chirping of birds signaling the coming of spring singing jollily. It was as if I had entered an entirely bloody new world, nothing but green as far as I could see.

I'm unaware of how long I've been here now, as my pocket watch doesn't seem to be operating functionally, though I stopped to write as soon as I found somewhere to sit. I'm going to explore more now.

More to come upon further findings.


This magical thicket continues to amaze me. It has been well over a day since my arrival, as I have watched the sun rise and set in the sky, and yet I feel as rested as I did when I entered these woods. I don't seem to need water, and I feel similarly unhungry, though I've had an odd craving for Yorkshire pudding for quite some time now…

I've come to believe that this forest is in some kind of loop, or something similar anyhow. I can't quite put it into words, but I believe that I am still in yesterday, today.
And though my above findings are incredible, they pale in comparison to what I discovered traverse these mystical plains.

I encountered my first instance of animal life after several hours of walking through the groves. A small rodent that had burrowed itself under a tree stump. Initially, I thought little of the small fellow, until I sat down to inspect him further. It would have seemed that I had stumbled upon a broad-faced potoroo, despite the little chaps having been extinct for nearly a decade now!

After several chuffed minutes spent simply marveling the lad, I said my farewells, and pressed forward further into the forest, where I came upon a small pack of bluebucks, grazing in the grass. Naturally, I was astonished! Twice now, I had come across some kind of fauna that by no means had any right being here. It was like an imagination playground, roamed upon by the dead themselves!

My continued exploration of these enchanted caverns has brought to fruition several fascinating discoveries. At first I had thought little of the flora, though upon several further encounters with the walking dead that roam these woods, I investigated the plant life more carefully.
Silphium, stringtrees, Saint Helena heliotrope, all of which have long since died out decor this place in excess. I believe I may have stumbled upon something sacred.

Signing off now, I'm going to try and find a mammoth!


I encountered the guardian of these woods today. I've decided to call him Bertram.

Several kilometers from the entrance of the forest is a rather large open plain of sorts. If I had to describe it, I'd say it was very grassy, lots of green. It was here that I found Bertram. He was dutifully watching over his helpers as they tended to a flock of labrador ducks.

Oh! The helpers, right yes of course. It would appear that Bertram employs the help of several golems to care for the inhabitants of his forest. I've sat with these helpers for several hours now, studying them, though they don't seem to pay me much mind. On several occasions, I noticed that they would grind their stones together to make a scratching noise. As knackered as this may have left me initially, I believe they were simply trying to keep me away from the animals of the grove, protecting them in their own sort of way. Even then, they've acted awfully gobby for my taste.

I attempted to pick up one of the helpers while it was caring for a martinique giant ameiva, though I don't think that Bertram took very kindly to my actions. The helper went inert in my hands. I figure perhaps having a good ol rowdy with the lad would do good to square away my intentions. I can only hope that Bertram understands I mean no harm to this place.

I've yet to find a mammoth.


I've spent several days now within this spellbinding grotto, but alas I feel as if it has come my time to move on. I've spent countless hours marveling as the helpers tend to the occupants of these woods, and many more marveling at the murals that cover Bertram.

It is with the utmost sorrow that I bid this otherworldly forest adieu, though I fear that I am needed elsewhere. I intend to return to London once I'm done here, treat myself to some Yorkshire pudding, and then travel to Brazil in my continued search for the great golden peccary of Santana do Ipanema.

Though I never did find the treasure that I had initially sought after, I truly believe that I have come across something far more valuable. These woods themselves are a true treasure trove, one that I can only hope that the adventurers of tomorrow will have the pleasure of discovering on their own.

I am going to leave this journal here, with Bertram, so that explorers of the future may lean upon my findings for support, and come to a further understanding of what makes this land before time complete.

I never did find a mammoth.

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