SCP-329-J
Item #: SCP-329-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-329-J is currently housed in Containment Locker 329-J. Access is permissible to all personnel.
Description: SCP-329-J is a common American "yield" sign with the apparent ability of speech. SCP-329-J claims to be a "ghost". No other anomalous properties have been detected at this time.
Addendum: Interview Log 329-J-1:
Dr. James: Good morning three two nine dash jay.
SCP-329-J: I am the ghoooost siiiign!
Dr. James: Um… ok.
SCP-329-J: Yield to oncoming traffiiic! Ooooooh!
Dr. James: Um, ghost sign, do you know where you are?
SCP-329-J: I'm in the realm of the liviiiing! Oooooooooooh!
Dr. James: Right, um, what were you doing before this?
SCP-329-J: I was a siiiign! Now I'm a ghoooooost siiiiign!
Dr. James: What does that even mean?
SCP-329-J: I was once arrested for driving under the influuuueeence!
Dr. James: What?
SCP-329-J: I know riiiight? I don't even have leeeeegggssss! Ooooooh! Drunk driving is dangeroooouuuus!
Interview Log 329-J-2:
Dr. James: Good morning, er, ghost sign.
SCP-329-J: Don't call me thaaaat! I'm just a siiiign noooow! Ooo- I mean, hiiiii!
Dr. James: Why are you a sign now?
SCP-329-J: I dropped my ghooooost liceeeeense!
Dr. James: Your what?
SCP-329-J: I can't be a ghoooost without my ghooooost liceeeense!
Dr. James: But how can you even carry a license?
SCP-329-J: Well I can't noooow! I'm no longer a ghooooost!
Dr. James: I…. but…. what?
Interview Log 329-J-3:
Dr. James: We've brought you outside to see if you affect traffic in an anomalous way.
SCP-329-J: It's nippyyyy! Can I have a sweeeattteerr?
Dr. James: No! For fuck's sake, you're a ghost! You don't need a sweater! Shut up!
SCP-329-J: Yoooouuuu shut uuuup!
Dr. James: WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ANY SENSE!?