SCP-209-J
rating: +25+x



BY ORDER OF THE OVERSEER COUNCIL

The following file is Level 4/209-J classified. Unauthorized access is strictly forbidden and will result in treatment with Class A amnestics and subsequent demotion to D-Class .

I'm serious. I will find you and break your kneecaps.


Item#: 209-J
Level4
Containment Class:
esoteric
Secondary Class:
uncontainable
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
notice

SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES

If SCP-209-J manifests, there is no viable way to contain or terminate it. The staff member targeted by SCP-209-J is to be terminated immediately1 attempt to ignore SCP-209-J in hopes that it will teleport elsewhere. If staff attempts to contain SCP-209-J using a container, it will teleport out of said container. Staff are advised not to attempt to terminate SCP-209-J, as this may cause it to buzz at a much louder rate.


DESCRIPTION

SCP-209-J has the appearance of a common housefly, and is of a somewhat larger size than the normal, non-anomalous housefly. The main anomalous ability of SCP-209-J is its ability to teleport to any SCP Foundation personnel, and after around 1-2 hours of annoying said personnel, it will dematerialize and teleport to a different staff member. The fly has proven impossible to terminate, as it is invulnerable to any physical damage. SCP-209-J typically prefers to teleport to personnel who are already having a particularly stressful day. Researchers have concluded that this is due to SCP-209-J having interest in causing as much annoyance as possible. Another anomalous ability of SCP-209-J is the ability to emit a much louder and annoying buzzing sound, ranging anywhere from 8 decibels to 80 decibels.


TERMINATION LOG


Termination Attempts Included2
  • Flamethrowers.
  • Military Grade Explosives.
  • O5-8 hitting it with a flyswatter.
  • SCP-049 smacking it.3
  • Detonation of a 20 Kiloton nuclear warhead This did not happen. Anyone who believes to recall such an event are to report to Site Command for administration of Class A amnestics.4
  • Gamma radiation.
  • Dr. Jacob Gilford grabbing a vintage Brown Bess Musket off of a shelf in his office and firing a shot that precisely impacted the fly. Why the hell do you keep that thing on your shelf and fully loaded with gunpowder?5
  • Exposing it to music composed by Billie Eilish. How the hell would this kill it? This is probably the closest we got to killing this damn thing.
  • SCP-682 swiping it with its claw.
  • Attempting to eat it.
  • Exposing it to hydrochloric acid.
  • Asking SCP-662 to terminate it. 662 apologised, before stating that it was impossible.
  • Exposing it to liquid nitrogen.
  • Exposing it to Fluoroantimonic acid.
  • A Junior Researcher screaming profanities at it.
  • Exposing it to SCP-217. It seemed completely unphased by the exposure.
  • Dr. Bright making contact with SCP-209-J using SCP-963. At first, the fly stopped moving, hovering above ground, before flying into Dr. Bright's eye.
  • The power of friendship.6
  • Placing it in a vacuum completely airtight, and devoid of any oxygen.
  • Actually using an electric vacuum.
  • Sending it to Russia.
  • Shooting it with a RPG-7 using a PG-7VR 105mm rocket.
  • Attacking it with a shoe.
  • Crying.
  • Exorcism.
  • ████████ ███ ██ ███ ███████ ███████.
  • Asking it politely to die.
  • Screaming at it.
  • Throwing hot coffee at it. Great job, you ended up spilling it on Dr. ██████.7
  • Exposing it to mustard gas.
  • Exposing it to sarin gas.
  • Exposing it to ethylsarin gas.
  • Filling the room that it occupied with gasoline, and lighting it on fire. This led to the destruction of Site-798.8
  • (This Incident was accidental, but it doesn't matter because it didn't work, AS USUAL.) Randomly, 209-J manifested in front of SCP-953. At first, 953 mostly ignored it, but became annoyed at it and began attacking it. The subsequent containment breach of 953 left 3 personnel dead and 7 injured, and when questioned, 953 refused to accept defeat.
  • Introducing a singularity to SCP-209-J.

INCIDENT 209-J-1A-CLASSIFIED

DATE: ██/██/████ at ██:██
LOCATION: Site-███

At the time of the incident, the O5 Council was having a highly classified meeting within Site-███.
Details of the meeting are classified at the highest level and are protected by a memetic kill agent. However, one portion was declassified, in which SCP-209-J manifested inside the meeting chamber.

O5-1: "And so it has been decided to overrule the decision made by the Ethics Commit- er, do you hear that?

O5-4: "Yeah, it sounds like loud buzzing…"

O5-1: "Aha, found it. It's a damn fly."

[O5-1 then proceeded to slap the fly, but found that it was ineffective in killing it. The fly then flew into O5-1's eye.]

O5-1: "Gah, piece of shit! Ugh, someone get the damn flyswatter."

O5-7: "With due respect, sir, why are we letting a fly interrupt this meeting?"

O5-1: "It's personal, now. Damn bastard attacked my eye!"

O5-8: "I got it! Heh, got you now."

[SCP-209-J then flew into the face of O5-1, as O5-8 was swinging at it with a flyswatter. O5-8 then accidentally smacked O5-1 in the face. SCP-209-J was completely unharmed.]

O5-1: "Fuck! Gah, give me the damn thing, I'll send the motherfucker straight to hell!"

[O5-1 proceeded to snatch the flyswatter out of O5-8's hand, before swinging at SCP-209-J. 209-J then began buzzing extremely loudly, at about 80 decibels. This was enough to cause temporary hearing damage at prolonged listening. ]


The rest of the incident has been classified at Level 6. However, it is known that after the incident concluded, SCP-209-J teleported to a different Foundation employee. O5-1 then gave the order to terminate SCP-209-J by any means necessary.

IMPORTANT NOTICE

After recent studies were conducted by the O5 Council, it has been discovered that SCP-209-J originated from a failed experiment conducted by Dr. Jacob Gilford. After being confronted for this, he stated the following.

"I was being annoyed by this fly, it kept flying into my eye. So, I decided to get my revenge. I could have killed it, but, being a sadist, I decided to torture the fly for mildly inconveniencing me. I hooked it up to a machine that would inflict great amounts of pain to it, but would not kill it. But I fucked up and now we have 209-J. Yes, you all probably hate me now. Do I care? No, I hate you all as well."

Dr. Jacob Gilford was put on a one-week disciplinary leave for this.

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