rating: +288+x

Item #: SCP-2045

Object Class: Safe Euclid Keter Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2045 is to be continuously covered with a dummy tractor to maintain the appearance of normality. Any civilians who come into contact with SCP-2045 are to be amnesticized. All debris left by SCP-2045 is to be cleared away by Foundation assets. Methods to contain SCP-2045 are currently being considered.

SCP-2045 is to be contained within a standard humanoid-class containment cell, with a calendar on the wall indicating the days of the week, and an empty two-liter bucket. Every Tuesday, SCP-2045 fills the bucket with blackstrap molasses; when the bucket is filled, one class-3 operative is to enter SCP-2045's containment, approach SCP-2045, and speak the phrase "that's enough molasses, Jeffrey. Thank you." Personnel are then to remove the filled bucket, and replace it with a fresh bucket.

Contingent on SCP-2045's good behavior, and at their own discretion, personnel may then kiss SCP-2045 on its forehead.

Due to the difficulties resulting from SCP-2045's apparent inability to comprehend that it now has an SCP designation rather than a name, personnel are authorized to address SCP-2045 as "Jeffrey".

SCP-2045 is never to be contained at a site that is within 200 kilometers from the present containment location of SCP-3872.

Description: SCP-2045 is a sapient humanoid automaton which can generate blackstrap molasses from a flask-shaped protrusion on its back, and then control the motion of that molasses. It is 92cm tall and made of wood, porcelain, cloth, silver, and iron, and responds to the name "Jeffrey". It is capable of speech, but is of low intelligence.

Every Tuesday,1 SCP-2045 will generate 2 liters of blackstrap molasses from its flask and telekinetically direct the molasses into the bucket.2

SCP-2045 claims to have been made by a woman who it refers to only as "Miss", and who it is unable to describe in useful terms (see interview 2045-5). It claims to have resided in her home (which it is likewise unable to describe usefully) and to have generated molasses for her on a weekly basis, until the day it was unable to find her. In her absence, it continued generating molasses "until it wasn't Tuesday any more", at which point it began to search for her, and to telekinetically carry the molasses with it "because nobody came to get it from me and it's not good to just leave it behind".

Excerpt of Interview 2045-5; full transcript available upon request with level-3 security clearance or higher

SCP-2045: Hi, Dr. Byaruhanga! Has Miss shown up yet?

Dr. Byaruhanga: No, Jeffrey, she hasn't.

SCP-2045: Aw. Well, it's not Tuesday, so it's not molasses-making time. But it's almost Tuesday, right?4 You just have to wait a little while, and then I can make molasses for you!

Dr. Byaruhanga: No, Jeffrey, that's not necessary. I'd like to ask you some questions about Miss, actually.

SCP-2045: Oh! All right. Miss is very kind to me!

Dr. Byaruhanga: Yes, I'm sure she is. Could you tell me what she looked like?

SCP-2045: Uh… she was big. Bigger than me.

Dr. Byaruhanga: … and?

SCP-2045: Oh, I'm sorry, did you want more?

Dr. Byaruhanga: Yes, please. Whatever you can remember.

SCP-2045: She… she could walk around? I remember she walked around a lot! Sometimes she'd be in one room, and sometimes she'd be in another room, and sometimes she'd walk from one room to another room! Sometimes she came to get the molasses from me, and sometimes I brought it to her while she was doing things!

Dr. Byaruhanga: I see. Jeffrey, could you maybe tell me about Miss's face?

SCP-2045: Yes! She had one!

Dr. Byaruhanga: … what?

SCP-2045: She definitely had a face. Yes. And hair, I remember that. Oh, and lips! Lips are for giving kisses when I'm good! Am I being good?

Dr. Byaruhanga: Yes, Jeffrey, you're being good. Can you tell me about Miss's hair? What color was it?

SCP-2045: Hair has a color?

Dr. Byaruhanga: Yes, was it black, or white, or brown, or maybe yellow or orange?

SCP-2045: I… I don't know. I didn't notice. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Am I being bad? I don't want to be bad!

Dr. Byaruhanga: No, Jeffrey, you're not being bad.

SCP-2045: Can I… can I have a kiss, then? [SCP-2045 points to its forehead]

Dr. Byaruhanga: When we're done with the questions. All right?

SCP-2045: All right.

Dr. Byaruhanga: Good. Jeffrey, can you tell me what color Miss was?

SCP-2045: Um, I don't understand what you mean.

Dr. Byaruhanga: Her skin.

SCP-2045: Oh! Skin! Yes! Yes, she had skin! She absolutely had skin, I know that! And I couldn't see all of it all the time, because she wore clothing! Clothes are important, right?

Dr. Byaruhanga: Yes, but I meant… all right, you remember Dr. Lindgren, who was here to talk with you the other day?

SCP-2045: Yeah! She's nice!

Dr. Byaruhanga: And you remember what she looks like?

SCP-2045: Yeah?

Dr. Byaruhanga: Remember how her skin is light pink? And my skin is dark brown, see?

SCP-2045: It is? … It is! Wow! I never noticed that!

Dr. Byaruhanga: Can you tell me if Miss's skin was light pink, or dark brown, or maybe another color?

SCP-2045: I'm really, really sorry. I don't know. I really don't! Honest! I didn't know it was important! Um, um, um, eyes!

Dr. Byaruhanga: Eyes?

SCP-2045: She had eyes! I remember now! Eyes are for looking! She had two of them, and they were on her face! Like yours! And they were white, with little dots of color in them, just like yours! I remember! I'm being good, yes?

Further interviews with SCP-2045 have been similarly unproductive.

Acquisition log:

The designation SCP-2045 was originally applied to the coherent, mobile, +1.3-megaton mass of molasses which was under Foundation surveillance beginning in 1907. In 1999, the Foundation undertook an operation to destroy >99.9999% of the mass of molasses via a combination of incendiaries, directed-energy weaponry, and [REDACTED] technology, with the goal of reducing it to a form small enough to be properly contained. The entity now known as SCP-2045 was discovered at the mass's center, still generating molasses. An on-site operative spontaneously vocalized a request that the entity stop making molasses; the entity complied, and asked whether it had generated enough molasses. It was subsequently taken into custody.

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