rating: +158+x

Item #: SCP-2008-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:  SCP-2008-J is stored in an animal enclosure with appropriate locks and barbed wire to prevent escape.

Description:  SCP-2008-J is a cryptozoological life form that was collected in an athletic facility in ████████████, ██, United States.  The life form is bipedal, standing just over 2 meters in height.  Although its epidermis is covered with coarse green hair, classification of SCP-2008-J as mammalian must await further DNA analysis.  Its facial features consist of oversized, unlidded eyes surrounded by a flat red scalloped crest, and a conical proboscis housing the life form's toothless, jawless mouth.  It has a curled tongue which can be extended for more than 20 centimeters out of the oral cavity.  It has two upper limbs each with fingers and opposable thumbs, a round, pear-shaped abdomen, two lower limbs, and a stubby tail.  The gender, if any, of the collected specimen is indeterminate.

SCP-2008-J's diet is unknown; however, a rectal probe of the specimen that was conducted under sedation indicated the presence of a whole, undigested human in the life form's body cavity.  It is not known how SCP-2008-J could have consumed the human given the structure of the life form's mouth.  

SCP-2008-J appears to have at least a rudimentary level of intelligence.  In its natural habitat, the life form was observed to engage in mimicry of human activity — including wearing a hat bearing a mysterious emblem resembling the Greek letter rho, a jersey, and footwear (although not pants) — and to operate a four-wheeled vehicle.  It does not appear to have any language or means of making sounds, but appears to show affection for some human beings (particularly those associated with the athletic facility that SCP-2008-J infested) by squeezing them with its upper limbs or drawing them to its proboscis or abdomen, and antipathy for other human beings (in particular, sporting officials, and opponents of the humans to whom SCP-2008-J showed affection) through mimicry or acts of simulated violence.  In captivity, the specimen has been observed to engaged in similar antagonistic behavior directed at Foundation personnel.

Agents ████ and ████████ collected SCP-2008-J from its habitat during a sporting contest on October 29, 20██.  SCP-2008-J attempted to defend itself with some sort of improvised firearm that used processed meat products for ammunition, but was quickly subdued.  Amnestics were administered to the 45,940 eyewitnesses to the collection, and Agents ██████ and ████ intercepted and edited the radio and video feed of media coverage of the event.


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