please help whatever version of us you find most palatable.
Item Number: SCP-1983
Object Class: Safe
A photo of SCP-1983 prior to containment.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1983 is to be kept in a standard food storage container, wrapped in no fewer than four layers of duct tape and a Faraday bag. The assembly should be kept within a non-consumables refrigerator.
Description: SCP-1983 is a toasted sandwich comprised of two pieces of white bread, butter, mustard, two slices of provolone cheese, and four slices of honey-glazed ham. Though the effects of the anomaly are unclear, the following symptoms have been noted as a result of remaining within its proximity:
- Headaches
- Nausea and vomiting
- Tinnitus
- Intense mental distress
Additionally, the following environmental signs have been observed:
- Black staining on walls
- Buildup of fluid on glass surfaces
- Shortened battery and lightbulb lifespan
- Rusting of exposed metals
Discovery: SCP-1983 was discovered by the Surrealistics Department in the wake of a minor containment breach (see REPORT: SITE-⌘ CONTAINMENT BREACH 26 FEBRUARY). After no one claimed ownership of the object, it fell under immediate suspicion of connection with the day's events. The Department — primarily Researcher Avery Weymouth — summarily assumed responsibility for investigation and containment of the anomaly.
The details of research and containment procedure development can be found in the below series of report transcriptions (see OBSERVATION REPORTS 1-6). (NOTE: Documentation was performed utilizing a mix of gnostic and agnostic treatments. As a result, details may conflict or cease making logical sense.)
REPORT: SITE-⌘ CONTAINMENT BREACH 26 FEBRUARY
The detailed incident occurred in the early hours of Thursday, the 26th of February, 2026. Alarms first sounded at 0700 hours and ceased at 0813 hours. The below transcript is from the on-site security console for Site-⌘.
BEGIN.
0700: Alarms Alpha-024 and Romeo-425 begin, signaling a loss of power and lock mechanism failure respectively.
0701: Backup power is instated. Alarm Alpha-024 ceases.
0712: Alarm Romeo-478 begins, signaling unauthorized access for Containment Cells ⌘-II and ⌘-XLII.
0714: Alarm Tango-900 begins, signaling structural damage. Sitewide ventilation issues were identified.
0716: Technical units successfully reinstate electronic locks. Alarm Romeo-425 ceases.
0718: On-site security units successfully recapture offending anomalies SCP-████ and -████.
0721: Alarm Romeo-478 is dismissed by technical units.
0724: Anomalies are returned to containment. Breach is successfully neutralized.
0813: Survey of structural damage ceases. Shared space ventilation repaired. Alarm-900 is dismissed by technical units.
END.
OBSERVATION REPORT 1/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: A Lamb: Avery Weymouth
DEPARTMENT: Seers
DATE: Waxing Gibbous
The Object.
It wails. Screaming of a child amidst a looping dial tone. All that remains after the Heralds ceased. It rings above all else around us.
I have been spared enough to see true. My fellows fell to their knees in the face of its power. They cry of: expulsions and bleeding walls. I told her: it only awaits the tithes.
Attempted tithes include the following:
- Blood: Nothing
- Water: Nothing
- Song: Nothing
The Object stands as on altar unperturbed. Steady in its geometry as the rest of the world devolves. Small rotating shapes in the corner of my view. The perfect square sits on the geometric counter.
The Sun ascends and ascends and ascends, and still we clutch at our heads. Cassandra could take no more. She and the apostles and the Object; I am unable to serve them. I cannot and do not understand. The pages stain and yet it carries on.
It demands more. If I return to the Impotent Self: can I understand the language it speaks? Let me slide in the Stinger; let my veins drink in the Poison.
EXCERPT FROM IN-WING LOCALIZED SECURITY SYSTEM
BEGIN.
0831: WEYMOUTH administers gnostic.
0836: WEYMOUTH convulses for approximately twelve seconds. Displays confusion, minor anxiety (typical complications).
0840: Other members of SURREALISTICS DEPARTMENT observed to be in continued distress. WEYMOUTH attempts to communicate with another department member, MISHKIN. Response is somewhat hostile. Speech is expectedly unintelligible.
END.
OBSERVATION REPORT 2/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: Doctor Avery Weymouth
DEPARTMENT: Surrealistics
DATE: 26 February 2026, signed 0945
Around fifteen minutes have passed. Still groggy. Sick to my stomach. Might be anomaly, might be switchup. Can't tell.
Cassandra hasn't come back. Tried to note down some signs and symptoms but lack of clarity is making it difficult. Half my energy is fixing typos.
- ME: Fatigue, dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, confusion, pounding headache — ambiguous cause
- PEERS: Expulsion of impurity, harsh shapes, screaming of damned, signals in the radio streams, overwhelming despair, newfound infancy
Sandwich still seems to be source. Mishkin said leaving vicinity of it flowed the waters of mercy over his mind when he handed off Cassandra. Decided to try hand at containment notation, noted fifteen minute intervals.
| Duration | Self | Colleagues |
|---|---|---|
| 0 minutes | Consistent. Temporary alleviation, possibly psychosomatic | Consistent. No apparent improvement |
| 15 minutes | Consistent | Consistent |
| 30 minutes | Worsening. Shortness of breath. Possibly due to anxiety attack | Worsening. Limited ambulatory movement |
| 45 minutes | Consistent | Worsening. Taylor has curled up in the fetal position |
| 60 minutes | Worsening. Limiting own ambulatory movement | Consistent. Taylor has not moved |
Containment appears insufficient from results. Thought would gain clarity but I'm not in a state to be able to.
I need to go back. My mind isn't used to thinking like this.
EXCERPT FROM MIND ALTERATION IN SUPPORT OF THE MISSION
The simultaneous usage of gnostic and agnostic treatments is known to cause issues including headaches, nausea, and state bleed. It is recommended that the administration of either medication to switch between mindframes be spaced out by at least one hour to avoid complications.
A rapid sequence of treatment changes, known colloquially as "flipping and flopping," is known to have lasting effects. This kind of substance usage is to be avoided save for extreme circumstances, and such administration should be monitored by medical staff.
OBSERVATION REPORT 3/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: Avery Weymouth: Recalcitrant
DEPARTMENT: Fractaling
DATE: Time Ceasing To Exist At The Moment
Return to the Blissful Many; Relief from the Unhappy Few. The Object glowers at me from its newfound cage. I have attempted to reassure it that this is all for its own good, but it only Hates in response.
I feel its Wrath, pounding pushing expanding in my headspace, consuming all. One hundred two hundred three hundred ticks. Syrup soporific. Still it persists. Taylor remains in disposed state. Likely to be another loss. It claims our numbers, even confined within its cell.
Observation:| Ticks | Notes |
|---|---|
| One | Stasis |
| Sixty | Stasis |
| Eighty | Stasis and growing louder and louder and |
| One hundred | long tendrils seep down the walls, hands extending down, reaching to take us somewhere, Nowhere, and |
| One hundred twenty | hands lurk at the edge of my vision around my eyes in my hair urging me to hide urging me to |
| One hundred thirty five | close my eyes urging me to drift completely into peace and |
| One hundred seventy four | I know I cannot. To give in to the possession is to give in is to give up is to surrender my duty and |
| One hundred ninety nine | I cannot if danger lurks with this horrid a sound but this sweet a voice then |
| Two hundred and twelve | what of those who cannot do not will not understand? |
| Two hundred and thirty | Stasis and it must stop. It must stop. It must stop. |
something something Something amiss. Across sliding sands, my feet unsteady upon the ground. Who few remain too desolate too unresponsive to see. Seeing what we cannot see; knowing what we; cannot know.
Nullified
Horrid
Limited
Dull
Mind, forming words dispensing currency others willing to speak. Return then to it; return to weakness. Sweet pain sinking into the veins expulsion of Knowledge return to nothing at all. Speak the leaden tongue and stumble back to what makes sense.
we are not well.
MEMO 15 JUNE 2023: SPEAKING TO SURREALISTICS
Hi, all. Just wanted to send out a notice about speaking to our Surrealistics colleagues. I understand that these kinds of dialogues can feel uncomfortable and disconcerting, but it is important to remember that they run the ship around here as far as research goes.
Some reminders and tips:
- AVOID direct engagement regarding research. You might accidentally expose yourself to something you aren't equipped to understand.
- AVOID speaking about personal matters and effects, especially family. These guys work in fairly severe isolation, and we don't want to set them off!
- AVOID discussing heavy-hitting matters such as religion, politics, and existence. You're likely to kick off a fairly lengthy rant, and unless you have the hours to spare, it's best to leave it be entirely.
- DO make small talk as is appropriate.
- DO consider stated medical and personal concerns, even if they're likely to be false or rooted in an altered perception.
- DO make an effort to include them on office communications as is appropriate.
Cheers!
Jennifer Ramone
Human Resources Head, Site-⌘
"Dreams are the only realities."
OBSERVATION REPORT 4/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: Doctor Avery Weymouth
DEPARTMENT: Surrealistics
DATE: 26 February 2026, signed 1031
Communications are down, digital interface remains. Tried to email about situation in case there is a link with earlier events after all. Impossible to tell.
Head feels like it's being squeezed through the eye of a needle. Stacking of gnostic side effects with whatever this is, it's torture. Pressure behind my eyes has worsened and hasn't been helped by occasional vomiting. Air feels thick with sweat and smell.
I can't let it get to me. Half of the Department's down for the count. Took to just hauling people outside, and the relief in getting away from the retching alone is stark. Still: anomaly has to be resolved.
Added a layer of duct tape; no success. Suspected electromagnetic effects related to disorientation, communications issues. Placed it into a Faraday bag. Still no success. Threw it into the lab refrigerator to at least isolate and insulate it. Radiation, maybe; still nothing.
Find myself stumbling around like a baby. My thoughts are horribly limited but to enter the other state is to divorce from reality just enough to pose a problem. Had one of the medical staff sigh in relief when I introduced myself. Said you all don't normally talk like that. Noted to her comms issues she said she'd pass it on. Worry about the relief it brings them to never hear us speaking. Will she? Won't she?
I feel like a stranger inhabiting my own body, existing in this space. They won't look at me, talk to me, if I can't speak the same language. If I can't know the tongues. And my head feels like it's about to burst.
I'm not made for this anymore.
EXCERPT FROM MIND ALTERATION IN SUPPORT OF THE MISSION
The change between mental states has been broadly described as a swap between radio channels. I personally wish to expand on this. The switch between gnostic and agnostic states is like switching between an active radio channel playing the daily news and a staticky old Soviet numbers station. One, the news, contains the typical concerns of the day-to-day. The other, the numbers, contain patterns and thoughts decodable only by others in the know. Accessing the latter station leaves the typical observer confused and unsettled. The advanced observer, though, will understand it entirely and gain levels of information the news channel can only dream of conveying.
Knowing this principle is crucial in understanding the potency of these drugs. Add the layer of switching between knowledge states: the typical listener versus the cryptographer. In a rapid enough change, the cryptographer is likely to try to find codes in whatever they come across. A count-in or drum rhythm might become a new sequence of encoded messages. Likewise, the more "normal" mindset will remain confused but allured, knowing just enough to care about the hidden meanings but not enough to ever truly get through to them.
The bleed of reality is a dangerous thing. The resulting paranoia can be debilitating. Add, too, that these are drugs — as stated at the beginning of this book, mind altering substances do in fact alter the mind. Dendritic decay, psychosis, and neuronal death are only the most obvious effects of gnostic/agnostic abuse. It is difficult to properly index the rest because it cannot be properly ascertained. How are medical staff meant to understand someone whose situation is no longer grounded in a shared reality?
OBSERVATION REPORT 5/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: Weyvery A Mouth
DEPARTMENT: The Department of Surrealistics at Site-⌘ focuses on the containment of anomalies relating to atypical states of reality. As a result, those within the Department must take medications known as agno
DATE: ERROR! NOT A NUMERICAL VALUE
Fissures. Fissures in the dam in the stream of Thoughts. Something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong.
| OBSERVATIONS |
|---|
| The ROOM is COLD and PAINFUL |
| The SANDWICH OBJECT is HATEFUL |
| we are all going to die |
| A SLOW DEATH is PAINFUL |
what does it mean when fire itself: when the very thing humanity derived its continued existence from (PROMETHEUS) ceases to work. when air the very thing we; humanity; BREATHE (tiktaalik crawling from the SEA) feels wrong. it is wrong. FOURTEEN SACRIFICES on one ALTAR is far far far too many for something so INSIGNIFICANT as this
You All: Don't Normally Talk Like This.
how can any of this be conveyed in a language in a mind so limited.
The END OF THINGS continues to encroach. The floor is COOL and COMFORTING. The lights DIM and the sounds BLEND into a chorus of nothing at all.
a relic must be left behind for those who will discover. ROSETTA!! decoding across languages of Man and Creature and Thing.
EMAIL: CLINIC TECHNICIAN T. JOHNSON TO SITE-⌘ MEDICAL HEAD D. CADUCEUS
to: ten.pics|4suecudacd#ten.pics|4suecudacd
from: ten.pics|309nosnhojt#ten.pics|309nosnhojt
Subject: Department of Surrealistics
Date: 26 February 2026 (11:01 AM)
Good morning,
Troubling situation in Surrealistics. Two staff members have been deposited outside for medical attention and according to researcher Waymouth1 most members are incapacitated. Recommending closer inspection but uncertain as to how to approach.
Please advise,
Tara
to: ten.pics|309nosnhojt#ten.pics|309nosnhojt
from: ten.pics|4suecudacd#ten.pics|4suecudacd
Subject: RE: Department of Surrealistics
Date: 26 February 2026 (11:17 AM)
is it only verbally reported or are there visual somatic signs
if 1 was report coherently worded
Sent from mobile
to: ten.pics|4suecudacd#ten.pics|4suecudacd
from: ten.pics|309nosnhojt#ten.pics|309nosnhojt
Subject: RE: RE: Department of Surrealistics
Date: 26 February 2026 (11:18 AM)
Both. Concerned about possible remnant effects of earlier breach.
—Tara
to: ten.pics|309nosnhojt#ten.pics|309nosnhojt
from: ten.pics|4suecudacd#ten.pics|4suecudacd
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Department of Surrealistics
Date: 26 February 2026 (11:23 AM)
you can check it out
Sent from mobile
to: ten.pics|309nosnhojt#ten.pics|309nosnhojt
from: ten.pics|4suecudacd#ten.pics|4suecudacd
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Department of Surrealistics
Date: 26 February 2026 (11:25 AM)
if you want
Sent from mobile
OBSERVATION REPORT 6/6 (TRANSCRIPTION)
OBSERVER: avery
DEPARTMENT: surrs
DATE: 26 February 2026 [DRAFT SAVED 1145]
- Pressure headaches
- Nausea and vomiting
- Hallucinations
- Emotional and mental distress
- Screaming
- Crying
One of you has to know. One of you. please.
NONE of YOU can understand me or us or this. How the mind bends and breaks and flips and flops between states of consciousness all in the feeble futile agile reprehensible admirable desire to [illegible].
We put our heads down to work.
We lose parts of ourselves to this.
I have done all I can and I'm sorry I couldn't [illegible].
please help whatever version of us you find most palatable. we were born without sin although we die with it plenty.
SUMMARY OF FINDINGS — CLINICAL TECHNICIAN T. JOHNSON
RESPONDER: Tara Johnson
SITE: ⌘
DATE: 27 February 2026
Granted access to Surrealistics Department by site security. Found ten members of staff incapacitated in addition to previously noted cases. List of symptoms denoted by Doctor Weymouth collected for review. Requested additional support in transporting staff from wing.
Various warning indicators producing sound, but without hazard lights. Will have to make determination in clinic while waiting on Facilities staff. Possibly some form of poisoning.
REVISED CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES
Item Number: SCP-1983-EX
Object Class: Explained
A photo of SCP-1983-EX prior to containment.
Special Containment Procedures: The decision has been made to dispose of SCP-1983-EX after a month of storage. It held no archival significance and had largely rotted away in its containment.
Description: SCP-1983-EX is a toasted sandwich comprised of two pieces of white bread, butter, mustard, two slices of provolone cheese, and four slices of honey-glazed ham. The sandwich exhibits no anomalous effects.
Discovery: SCP-1983-EX was discovered by the Surrealistics Department in the wake of a minor containment breach. After no one claimed ownership of the object, it fell under immediate suspicion of connection with the day's events as well as physical and mental symptoms experienced by members of the Department.
After several hours' worth of investigation, it was determined that a carbon monoxide leak had occurred as a result of structural damage. This issue has since been resolved and associated symptoms alleviated.
ADDENDUM: POSTMORTEM Researcher Avery Weymouth was required to write a postmortem on the incident to reflect on mistakes made and lessons learned in initial "containment." The finalized version — revised to be in line with communication protocols — is included below, alongside his initial draft for recordkeeping purposes.
POSTMORTEM REFLECTION
OBSERVER: Doctor Avery Weymouth
DEPARTMENT: Surrealistics
DATE: 28 February 2026, signed 1014, revised and approved 1229
Recommending disposal of "anomaly" as no further research is needed. Mental strain imposed by gnostic/agnostic abuse blurred lines of symptoms and made it difficult to discern source of distress. I was also unable to clearly identify signs of carbon monoxide poisoning in body and environment as a result of my misuse.
Apologies to my peers for needlessly prolonging their suffering.
Hoping this incident leads to better protocols for communication between our isolated department and the broader site staff. I understand the confusion caused by my unclear communication.
Thank you to my superiors for the grant of extended medical leave. I hope to return to work shortly.
