rating: +279+x

Item #: SCP-1949

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Jonathan Harris is to be kept in a 10m x 10m x 10m chamber at Site-122's Humaniform Containment Center. The containment structure is divided into three floors, each three meters in height. Jonathan Harris is not to be referred to by his SCP Foundation casefile number at any time. Jonathan Harris may be referred to as Jon, Jonathan, Mister Harris, Harris, Jon Harris, Jonathan Harris, or Jack. Jonathan Harris is not to be referred to at any time as Jonny or Jonny Harris.

Jonathan Harris is not to be fed on the normal Humaniform SCP feeding regimen. Instead, between midnight and noon each Sunday of each week, Jonathan Harris will file a weekly meal request to SCP Foundation personnel. Jonathan Harris is to be allowed a meal budget of $100 per week. If Jonathan Harris exceeds his meal budget, the remaining meals will be replaced with standard meals for Humaniform SCP objects in containment. SCP Foundation personnel are to take every reasonable measure to provide Jonathan Harris his requested meals within the budget available.

Jonathan Harris is not to be clothed in the normal uniforms provided to Humaniform SCPs. Instead, Jonathan Harris will file a monthly clothing allowance to SCP Foundation personnel between noon and midnight of the first Sunday of each month. Jonathan Harris is to be allowed a clothing budget of $1200 per year. Jonathan Harris is to be allowed a reasonable amount of closet space, and must turn in all worn or damaged clothing to SCP Foundation personnel for destruction.

Jonathan Harris has been provided a moderate furniture allowance, including bed, flat screen television with cable access, couch, Playstation 4 video game console, and Kindle e-book reader. Jonathan Harris has also been provided with a custom-built personal computer, although access to the Internet is forbidden. Jonathan Harris has been provided a discretionary budget of $100 per month for educational materials, personal hygiene materials, entertainment, and so on and so forth. Any funds that have not been spent at the end of the month may be rolled over into the next month's discretionary budget, as may any unspent funds from Jonathan Harris' clothing allowance. No funds from Jonathan Harris's meal allowance may roll over at the end of the week: all unspent funds are to be considered forfeited.

In all other cases, Jonathan Harris is to be considered a Humaniform SCP artifact, and should be treated as such.

Violation of any of the above containment parameters is to be considered a breach of Protocol 1949-Zulu, and must be corrected within 24 hours to prevent a containment breach.

Further addendum to containment procedures should be added to this document upon completion of each year's Protocol 1949-Bravo.

Description: SCP-1949 is a parchment scroll located in Site-122's Non-Humaniform Containment Center in a sealed scroll case with an acrylic reading window. The document is a contract written up between the SCP Foundation and an individual referred to only as "X." The contract describes a series of protocols that must be followed to maintain containment of Jonathan Harris, whom the document refers to as the Prisoner.

A full outline of all Protocols can be found in Addendum 1949-0, access to which is limited to L4 and higher personnel. However, three of these Protocols are relevant to this document, and are described below.

  • Protocol 1949-Alpha describes the conditions in which Jonathan Harris is to be housed. The salient points are listed in the containment procedures above.
  • Protocol 1949-Bravo describes a contest that is to be carried out between Jonathan Harris and a representative of the SCP Foundation between 11pm and midnight, local time, each December 31st. The contest is to be a contest of pure luck: flipping a coin, rolling dice, or drawing cards are all options for valid contests. Should Jonathan Harris win this contest, he is to be allowed one reasonable concession (as described under Protocol 1949-Charlie through Hotel). Should the SCP Foundation representative win the contest, one previously allowed concession may be rescinded, or a new restriction added (as described under Protocol 1949-India through Kilo.)
  • Protocol 1949-Zulu describes the penalties for breach of contract, the proper procedures to correct breach of contract, and the penalties for failing to do so within a reasonable amount of time. Access to this portion of SCP-1949 is restricted to L4 or higher personnel. Memetic defenses are in place to prevent viewing of Procedure 1949-Zulu except by authorized personnel.

Addendum: Transcript of Interview between Jonathan Harris and O5-11 on 12-31-████

O5-11: "Good evening, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "Do you have to call me that every time?"

O5-11: "It was your request ten years ago that we no longer refer to you as SCP-1949-A. Are you rescinding that agreement, Jonathan Harris?"

Jonathan Harris: "… no."

O5-11: "Very well. If you had done so, Jonathan Harris, you would have been considered in breach of contract under Protocol 1949-Zulu and would have lost all prior concessions to date. Are you prepared to carry out Protocol 1949-Bravo, Jonathan Harris?"

Jonathan Harris: "Let's get this over with. Heads."

O5-11: "The coin has landed on heads. You may name your concession at this time, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "Can I go home now?"

O5-11: "That would be a violation of Protocol 1949-Delta. As has been related to you every single time you have asked this question to date, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "Fine. Then can I see my wife?"

O5-11: "Contact with your family is forbidden under Protocol 1949-Echo, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "Can you at least let me know that they're alive? I haven't seen them in over █████ years. Is my wife still alive? Does she think I'm dead? Has she remarried? What about my kids?"

O5-11: "Contact with your family is forbidden under Protocol 1949-Echo, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "… fine, then, you fucking cold-hearted bastard. You want my concession? I want you fuckers to come in naked and paint yourself blue every time you come in here. All right?"

O5-11: "Your concession is recorded and acknowledged. This concludes this year's Protocol 1949-Bravo. Good day, Jonathan Harris."

Jonathan Harris: "Fuck you."

Note: At the next Protocol 1949-Bravo, Foundation personnel won the contest of luck, and rescinded Jonathan Harris' hygienic items as their concession. Two weeks later, Jonathan Harris and the SCP Foundation undertook a Protocol 1949-Zulu mediation. The concession that Foundation personnel paint their skin blue and disrobe was then rescinded in return for Jonathan Harris' toilet paper privileges.

Addendum: Medical Officer's assessment, 1-1-████

Jonathan Harris' age and increasingly unhealthy diet (exacerbated by his mental state) have resulted in a marked decline in his health in the past year. It is estimated that Jonathan Harris will be deceased within five years, at this present rate of decline.

As Jonathan Harris' death will be considered a breach of contract by Jonathan Harris under Protocol 1949-Zulu, the end result will be an end to a need for any containment of SCP-1949. Medical personnel are to be reminded, however, that failure to provide adequate medical care to Jonathan Harris is also considered a breach of Protocol 1949-India. Medical personnel must provide Jonathan Harris a truthful and complete assessment of his current health condition, and advice on how to maintain and improve his health. However, under Jonathan Harris' own concessions regarding his meal schedule, medical personnel are not allowed to make changes to Jonathan Harris' diet against his wishes.

Dr. ████, Chief Medical Officer, Site-122.

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