SCP-173 But...

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Tstaffor and Dr Trintavon

Author Page | Podcast | Feeling Lucky?

Tstaffor's Best of:

SCP-6557 - Annihilation From a Cross Across Time
SCP-5846 - The One-Stop Shop
SCP-6547 - Worlds Within Worlds Within Worlds…

SCP-173 But…

it's a collection of copies of 173's document that we've done weird things to.

While each can be read individually, we strongly suggest you go in order.
we hope you enjoy!

□ SCP-173 but Dr Trintavon wrote it from memory before writing this article □

□ SCP-173 but Tstaffor wrote it from memory before writing this article □

□ SCP-173 but Tstaffor wrote it from memory after writing this article □

□ SCP-173 but we put every word through thesaurus.com □

□ SCP-173 but written in as few words as possible □

□ SCP-173 but with no 5th letter of the alphabet □

□ SCP-173 but it's opposite day □

▣ SCP-173 but it's opposite day ▣

Item #: SCP-096

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-096 is to be contained in its cell, a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m airtight steel cube, at all times. Weekly checks for any cracks or holes are mandatory. There are to be absolutely no video surveillance or optical tools of any kind inside SCP-096's cell. Security personnel will use pre-installed pressure sensors and laser detectors to ensure SCP-096's presence inside the cell.

Any and all photos, video, or recordings of SCP-096's likeness are strictly forbidden without approval from Dr. ███ and O5-█.

Description: SCP-096 is a humanoid creature measuring approximately 2.38 meters in height. Subject shows very little muscle mass, with preliminary analysis of body mass suggesting mild malnutrition. Arms are grossly out of proportion with the rest of the subject's body, with an approximate length of 1.5 meters each. Skin is mostly devoid of pigmentation, with no sign of any body hair.

SCP-096's jaw can open to four (4) times the norm of an average human. Other facial features remain similar to an average human, with the exception of the eyes, which are also devoid of pigmentation. It is not yet known whether SCP-096 is blind or not. It shows no signs of any higher brain functions, and is not considered to be sapient.

SCP-096 is normally extremely docile, with pressure sensors inside its cell indicating it spends most of the day pacing by the eastern wall. However, when someone views SCP-096's face, whether it be directly, via video recording, or even a photograph, it will enter a stage of considerable emotional distress. SCP-096 will cover its face with its hands and begin screaming, crying, and babbling incoherently. Approximately one (1) to two (2) minutes after the first viewing, SCP-096 will begin running to the person who viewed its face (who will from this point on be referred to as SCP-096-1).

Documented speeds have varied from thirty-five (35) km/h to ███ km/h, and seems to depend on distance from SCP-096-1. At this point, no known material or method can impede SCP-096's progress. The actual position of SCP-096-1 does not seem to affect SCP-096's response; it seems to have an innate sense of SCP-096-1's location. Note: This reaction does not occur when viewing artistic depictions (see Document 096-1).

Upon arriving at SCP-096-1's location, SCP-096 will proceed to kill and [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-096-1. 100% of cases have left no traces of SCP-096-1. SCP-096 will then sit down for several minutes before regaining its composure and becoming docile once again. It will then attempt to make its way back to its natural habitat, [DATA REDACTED]

Due to the possibility of a mass chain reaction, including breach of Foundation secrecy and large civilian loss of life, retrieval of subject should be considered Alpha priority.

Dr. ███ has also petitioned for immediate termination of SCP-096 (see Interview 096-1). Order is awaiting approval. Termination order has been approved, and is to be carried out by Dr. ███ on [DATA REDACTED]. See Incident-096-1-A.

Audio log from Interview 096-1:

Interviewer: Dr. ███
Interviewed: Captain (Ret.) █████████, former commander of retrieval team Zulu 9-A
Retrieval Incident #096-1-A

<Begin Log>
[████████ ████████ Time, Research Area ██]
Capt. █████████: It always sucks ass to get Initial Retrieval duty. You have no idea what the damn thing is capable of besides what jacked up information the field techies can scrape up, and you're lucky if they even tell you the whole story. They told us to "bag and tag." Didn't tell us jackshit about not looking at the damn thing.
Dr. ███: Could you describe the mission, please?
Capt. █████████: Yeah, sorry. We had two choppers, one with my team and one on backup with Zulu 9-B and Dr. ██████. We spotted the target about two clicks north of our patrol path. I'm guessing he wasn't facing our direction, else he would have taken us out then and there.
Dr. ███: Your report says SCP-096 didn't react to the cold? It was -██^o C.
Capt. █████████: Actually, it was -██. And yes, it was butt naked and didn't so much as shiver. Anyway, we landed, approached the target, and Corporal ██ got ready to bag it. That's when Dr. ██████ called. I turned to answer it, and that's what saved me. The target must have turned and my whole squad saw it.
Dr. ███: That's when SCP-096 entered an agitated emotional state?
Capt. █████████: Yep. [Interviewed now pauses for a second before continuing] Sorry. Got the willies for a second.
Dr. ███: That's all right.
Capt. █████████: Yeah. Well, I never saw its face. My squad did, and they paid for it up the ass.
Dr. ███: Could you describe it a little more, please?
Capt. █████████: [Pauses] Yeah, yeah. It started screaming at us, and crying. Not animal roaring though, sounded exactly like a person. Really fucking creepy. [Pauses again] We started firing when it picked up Corporal ██ and ripped off his leg. God, he was screaming for our help… fuckin 'A… anyway, we were blowing chunks out of the target, round after round. Didn't do jackshit. I almost lost it when it started [DATA EXPUNGED] him.

Dr. ███: That's when you ordered the use of an [Papers are heard moving] AT-4 HEDT launcher?
Capt. █████████: An anti-tank gun. Started carrying it ever since SCP-███ got loose. I've seen those tear through tanks like tissue paper. Did the same thing to the target.
Dr. ███: There was significant damage to SCP-096?
Capt. █████████: It didn't even fucking flinch. It kept tearing apart my squad, but with half of its torso gone. [He draws a large half-circle across his torso]
Dr. ███: But it was taking damage?
Capt. █████████: If it was, it wasn't showing it. It must have lost all its organs, all its blood, but it didn't acknowledge any of it. Its bone structure wasn't hurt at all, though. It kept tearing my squad apart.
Dr. ███: So no actual structural damage. How many rounds would you say were fired at SCP-096?

Capt. █████████: At the least? A thousand. Our door gunner kept his GAU-19 on it for at least twenty seconds. Twenty fucking seconds. That's six hundred .50 caliber rounds pumped into the thing. Might as well been spitting at it.
Dr. ███: This is when Zulu 9-B arrived?
Capt. █████████: Yeah, and my squad was gone. Zulu 9-B managed to get the bag over its head, and it just sat down. We got it into the chopper and got it here. I don't know how I never saw its face. Maybe God or Buddha or whoever thought I should live. The jackass.
Dr. ███: We have obtained an artist's depiction of SCP-096's face. Would you like to view it?
Capt. █████████: [Pauses] You know, after hearing that thing's screams, and the screams of my men, I don't think I want to put a face to what I heard. No. Just… no.
Dr. ███: All right, I believe we are done here. Thank you, Captain.
[Chairs are heard moving, and footsteps leave the room. Captain (Ret.) █████████ is confirmed to have left Interview Room 22.]
Dr. ███: Let this be on record that I am formally requesting SCP-096 be terminated as soon as possible.
<End log>

□ SCP-173 but it's opposite day (for real this time (we put a lot of work into it this time around (I promise we didn't just copy and paste SCP-096 like last time))) □

□ SCP-173 but it's backwards □

▣ SCP-173 but it's backwards ▣

Item #: SCP-371

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All specimens of SCP-371 are to be contained in ocean-water tanks, filled with at least seven hundred fifty (750) liters of water (approx. 200 gallon) per specimen at between 2 and 5 degrees Celsius. Walls may be constructed of any waterproof metal or plate glass, and at least two inches thick. Once every thirty (30) days, a live animal weighing between 25 and 45 kilograms (preferably oceanic fish, although in emergencies, any terrestrial vertebrate including humans with the head kept suspended above water will suffice) is to be deposited in the containment unit. Following the completion of the lytic cycle after ten days, several SCP-371 specimens may be maintained, and all extra are to be strained out of the excurrent water, dried, and incinerated.

Any personnel entering SCP-371's containment chamber intentionally must be equipped with SCUBA gear, commercially available “shark-proof” diving armor, thick faceplates, and kevlar helmets. If these measures fail or are breached for any reason, the animal supply for that month may be skipped.

There are currently 15 SCP-371 specimens in containment.

Description: SCP-371 is a macroscopic marine virus, similar in appearance to a bacteriophage. SCP-371 specimens range in size from between 20 centimeters to 2.5 meters, are somewhat transparent, and can be mistaken for jellyfish in water.

SCP-371's physiology and behavior appear similar to ordinary microscopic viruses, although with several adaptions that make it a notable marine predator: the contractile tail fibers, shown in Image A, are composed of stiffened proteins and are adapted for locomotion (swimming, grasping, walking on the ocean floor); a sharpened and hardened beak-like base plate, rendering the virus capable of injecting genetic material through the dermal skin of multicellular prey; and presumably unknown sensory organs (SCP-371 cannot see or hear, but appears to hunt by sensing heat, vibrations, and pressure/salinity gradients). Most notable is SCP-371's encoding mechanism, which does not use the direct injection of DNA or RNA, but rather numerous microscopic DNA-encoding packets, which enter host cells and use them to respawn the macroscopic organism inside the host.

Stages of SCP-371 Infection
0 Hours, Infection: SCP-371 pierces host's skin and injects genetic material into the host, usually into the cranial or abdominal cavity, causing significant pain.
8 Hours, Transcription (“Bonding”): SCP-371 genetic “packets” begin normal transcription/translation process, bonding with host RNA.
95 Hours, Synthesis (“Spawning”): As host cells replicate, they begin to encode extracellular proteins in the abdominal cavity, which form new SCP-371 specimens over time (between 10 and 100, depending on host size; specimen size also changes with host size).
240 Hours, Lysis (“Bursting”): Once specimens have reached 20 centimeters in size, they exit the host body in a modified bursting pattern, causing severe trauma to the host and often resulting in serious bleeding, internal injuries, and death. SCP-371 lyses only in water, and for terrestrial prey will postpone this stage until the host enters water again.

For the rest of its life cycle, SCP-371 hunts and apparently filters salts and sediments from ocean water in order to grow up to 2.5 meters in size. The virus' average life cycle is 60 days, although the oldest contained specimen is currently 109 days old.

Addendum 371-A
The initial SCP-371 specimens were found in the ████████████ area of the Caribbean Sea, following the death of ████████ ███████, who was attacked when diving with a partner, who managed to capture film of three SCP-371 specimens clinging onto him (two on the head, one on the chest). The specimens lysed ten days later when Mr. ███████ was taking a bath.

Foundation-prepared explorational vehicles discovered and contained the initial specimens. Recently, a civilian research expedition to the Guayamas Basin trench brought up footage of more specimens, and it is theorized that SCP-371 is native to Hadal areas of the ocean floor, including vent areas, surfacing when prey becomes scarce.

□ SCP-173 but it's SCP-173 □

□ SCP-173 but it's all addendums □

□ SCP-173 but SCP-173 but its a format screw □

□ SCP-173 but it's a Reader X 173 fanfiction □

□ SCP-173 but it's an entry in the Log of Anomalous Items □

□ SCP-173 but it's DDD-173 □

□ SCP-173 but you can only read it if you look in the page source □

□ SCP-173 but it's a poem □

□ SCP-173 but described by Dr Trintavon's younger brother □

□ SCP-173 but we translated it way too many times □

□ SCP-173 but it's SCP-173 But... □

□ SCP-173 but there are way too many footnotes □

□ SCP-173 but SCP-173 but it's only a footnote □

□ SCP-173 but it's an interview log □

□ SCP-173 but posted to the /x/ board of 4chan □

□ SCP-173 but nobody reads this far so we can put whatever we want here □

Also check out!

SCP-173... But it's a Collaborative Log

Porridge

□ More by Tstaffor □

SCPs
SCP-6868	Rating: 413
SCP-7500	Rating: 313
SCP-6552	Rating: 167
SCP-3837	Rating: 143
SCP-6557	Rating: 137
SCP-6558	Rating: 96
SCP-5722	Rating: 95
SCP-6547	Rating: 94
SCP-5846	Rating: 93
SCP-5847	Rating: 93
SCP-7979	Rating: 74
SCP-6554	Rating: 72
SCP-6226	Rating: 70
SCP-6067	Rating: 64
SCP-1551-EX	Rating: 53
SCP-6553	Rating: 51
SCP-555-J	Rating: 48
SCP-6551	Rating: 39
SCP-6588	Rating: 37
SCP-5846-J	Rating: 29

Tales
Log of Non-Anomalous Items	Rating: 214
SCP-173 But... it's a Collaborative Log	Rating: 185
SCP-173 But...	Rating: 168
Mfw	Rating: 101
Goat VR? More like Goat VeRy bad game!	Rating: 78
Log of Non-Anomalous Items II: Sequels are Always Worse	Rating: 77
The Knights of Wonder	Rating: 37
The Unhuman Experience: Former Prime Minister Harold Holt	Rating: 29
MZL-1915	Rating: 25

GOI Formats
SPC-3008	Rating: 305
Herman Fuller Presents: Shapes the Clown	Rating: 14

Hubs
Format Screw Hub	Rating: 140
The Scip Squad Podcast Hub	Rating: 44

Art
An ASCII Egg That Kills You For No Reason	Rating: 40
Bubbly Bobby the ASCII Ducky	Rating: 40

‡ Licensing / Citation

Footnotes

34. Item #: SCP-173

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-173 is to be kept in a locked container at all times. When personnel must enter SCP-173's container, no fewer than 3 may enter at any time and the door is to be relocked behind them. At all times, two persons must maintain direct eye contact with SCP-173 until all personnel have vacated and relocked the container.

Description: Moved to Site-19 1993. Origin is as of yet unknown. It is constructed from concrete and rebar with traces of Krylon brand spray paint. SCP-173 is animate and extremely hostile. The object cannot move while within a direct line of sight. Line of sight must not be broken at any time with SCP-173. Personnel assigned to enter container are instructed to alert one another before blinking. Object is reported to attack by snapping the neck at the base of the skull, or by strangulation. In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 4 hazardous object containment procedures.

Personnel report sounds of scraping stone originating from within the container when no one is present inside. This is considered normal, and any change in this behaviour should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

The reddish brown substance on the floor is a combination of feces and blood. Origin of these materials is unknown. The enclosure must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis.

_licensebox co-authored comedy foundation-format joke shy-guy tale the-sculpture

page revision: 22, last edited: 03 Feb 2024 11:45

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SCP Foundation

Secure, Contain, Protect

SCP-173 But…

it's a collection of copies of 173's document that we've done weird things to.

Taken by the Statue

<Begin Log>

<End Log>

Also check out!

SCP-173... But it's a Collaborative Log

Porridge