rating: +27+x

Item #: SCP-1067

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All components of SCP-1067 are locked in drawer six of locker-██, one of ██ custom-built stainless steel lockers measuring 3.0m in height and 0.40m in width and depth. This locker and the items inside are currently assigned to department 43-█, and monitored via CCTV. SCP-1067 is to be returned to the locker when not in use, and must be vacuum-sealed in a polythene bag after being thoroughly dehydrated before being returned. Additional security includes marking with ultraviolet ink on all components to prevent theft. Any member of staff who wishes to conduct tests on SCP-1067 may do so with the approval of Administrator Samson, although they must be supervised by at least one (1) department 43-█ operative. Please note that application of SCP-1067 for recreational purposes is strictly forbidden.

Description: SCP-1067 consists of four (4) components (SCP-1067-a to SCP-1067-d). SCP-1067-a is a hinged leather-bound container 25.50x14.2x2.50cm in dimension. The inside of SCP-1067-a is lined with blue velvet, and appears to be designed to contain SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d, however spaces indicate that there are three (3) missing components. SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d is a set of three (3) silver-plated teaspoons, each of which measures 10.57cm in length, 2.50cm in width, and 1.00cm in depth. SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d are all identical except for their handles, which each have a unique ornament attached, all bearing relation to modern western wedding traditions.

Decorated with a bouquet of red tulips. Any liquids which come into direct contact with SCP-1067-b immediately become earl grey tea, independent of the liquid’s composition. This effect extends to extremely viscous gels, although not to vapours. SCP-1067-b has also demonstrated a second unexplained ability; When using SCP-1067 to stir a solution of water and sucrose, subjects report feeling resistance in the solution. When removed, SCP-1067 brought with it a small quantity of white granules which when tasted, turned out to be ordinary granulated sugar and displayed no anomalous properties. Repetition of this action results in any sucrose in a solution being scooped out in its solid form, to the point at which the solution is totally free of sucrose.
Decorated with a wedding carriage. Solutions stirred with SCP-1067-c continue to stir themselves for up to four (4) hours after the initial stirring, even when obstructed with solid objects. Any liquids that come into contact with SCP-1067-c immediately become oolong tea. These effects have been observed with a broad variety of input solutions, but seem to be ineffective with extremely viscous putties. SCP-1067-c has been described by subjects as being quite heavy for its size, although analysis of SCP-1067-c’s composition indicates ordinary density levels.
Decorated with the figures of a bride and groom. Experimentation shows SCP-1067-d to be capable of fabricating pasteurised cow’s milk upon contact with fluids. The milk is non-toxic as per usual, but produces slightly higher levels of radiation than would be normally expected.

SCP-1067 was discovered to possess unique abilities by Dr. G. █████ whilst preparing coffee. Dr. █████ states that he received SCP-1067 as a gift from his sister, Fiona █████ in 1973. Through an interview it was revealed that SCP-1067 was first purchased at █████████ in York, UK. Ms. █████ stated that SCP-1067 was purely an impulse-buy, and without precedence. Subject was administered a class-C amnestic before being released.

At this time the abilities of SCP-1067 are without explanation, despite detailed examination and multiple trials. SCP-1067 is currently under the care of department 43-█ of site #██, under the jurisdiction of administrator Samson, and will remain so until further notice.


Mass spectrometry of samples from SCP-1067-b, c and d confirm the composition of these items to be primarily copper with fine silver plating. Researchers are unanimous in agreeing that presence of both scandium and zirconium impurities is highly irregular in copper. Progress has still not been made as to the source of SCP-1067’s metamorphic properties.

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